My flight wasn't leaving until ten, which gave me far too much time left on my hands. I waited until the sun came up to call Niki. She needed to know what was going on, and with any hope, she would get to come to Seattle to help me through my dad's funeral and such.
"Hey. Shit. What time is it." She yawned loudly in the phone.
Just the sound of her left me crippled. I dropped down on the couch and let out a little sob, unable to help myself.
"Terra?" Panic filled her voice.
"Daddy got in a car accident last night and didn't make it." I pressed my hand to my face.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry. I should be closer. I could come over and hold you."
"It's okay. I just wish I could quit crying." I wiped at my eyes, angrily. "I'm still in shock."
"You will be for a while, sweetheart. When are you flying back to Washington?"
"At ten this morning." I forced myself up and took a deep breath. "Is there any way that-"
"Yes. Whatever it is. I'll be there for you. I'm here for you now."
Her kindness left me fending off another wave of tears. "Thank you. I just wanted to see if you could come to the funeral. I'm going to need you. Lance is going to have to lean on Danny or one of his other friends. Every time we talk, we just end up balling on the phone together."
"Oh, Terra. I'm sorry, honey. I'll be there. I'll get a flight in today and will stand beside you the whole time. My Aunt Catherine lives here in New York. I'll see if she can keep Benji for a few days."
"Okay." I took a shaky breath. "I'll tell you everything when I see you in Seattle. I don't want to go through all of it again right now."
"I understand. Text or call me anytime you need to, and be safe. Let me know when you get home for sure."
"Okay. See you there." I tossed the phone behind me onto the couch and walked to the living room, just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.
Home. Seattle would always be home. It's where I was raised. Where I went to school and fell in love for the first time. It's where every good memory I had left of my mother lived.
"How did this happen?" I sat down and pressed my face to my hands as weariness rolled over me in thick waves. How in the world could I ever make it without my father? As far as I was concerned, I couldn't.
A knock at the door surprised me. I stood and walked to the door, grabbing a robe on my way. I was a little surprised to see Paul standing on the other side. It was way too damn early for him to be up.
"Hey." He reached out and touched my arm. "I heard about your dad."
"What? How?" I moved back and opened the door wider. "Come on in."
"I guess Barry found out late last night." He walked in and made his way to the kitchen. "Maybe there's some channel for owners?"
"Who knows." I followed him, a little bit glad that he was there. It was nice to be around someone, even Paul. "I'm leaving for Seattle at ten this morning."
"I figured you'd already be gone, but I wanted to stop by just in case." He turned to face me and pulled me close, wrapping his strong arms around me. "You left so fast last night. I wish you would have let me go with you, Terra."
I pulled back. Life was too short to pretend that I was happy with what we had. It was the worst fucking time in the world to tell him, but he needed to know. "I appreciate you coming over, Paul, but this thing between us is over."
He slipped his hands into his pockets. "I think you're just reacting out of pain, which I get. You go to Seattle and we'll take a break. If you decide that you don't want us when you get back, then I'll respect that. Just don't make that decision now."
I nodded, not willing to respond. I'd already made the decision, but I didn't have the energy to explain that to him.
"Thanks for coming over." I walked to the coffee pot. "It's really sweet of you."
He moved in behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders before leaning down and kissing the side of my neck. "I want to be here for you, Terra. You know I care about you."
"Obviously, or you wouldn't hang out without getting laid." I laughed bitterly.
"Hey. Don't do that right now. You're hurting. Let me make you some breakfast and then take you to the airport."
I reached up to cup my face as another wave of tears burned my eyes. "I'm sorry. Just ignore me."
He forced me to turn and held me tightly. "Never. It's going to be okay. Time heals all wounds."
I bit my tongue and kept my snappy comebacks to myself. Time might heal his wounds, but there was no way in hell they would ever wipe away the need to see my dad smile, to hear him laugh, to get 'a look' from him.
No one would understand that but Lance and of course Danny.
Though it was stupid, the thought of sinking into his embrace was the only thing that kept me standing upright.
It was sick, but it was what it was.
Seattle, Washington
"Sis." Lance walked toward me as I jogged down the hall to the baggage claim. There was an urgency inside of me to see my brother. I crashed into him and tucked my face into the crook of his neck as I cried. "It's okay. I'm here. We're going to get through this together."
I nodded, but held on tightly to him and cried as my response. I wasn't normally so dramatic, but everything felt muted, wrong without my father in the world. It took a few minutes to pull myself together, but I finally did.
"It's not fair." I moved out of Lance's arms and walked to the baggage claim.
"I know it's not." He wiped at his face and reached for my bag, lugging it off the belt. "Is Niki coming home too?"
"Yeah. It's not until tomorrow though." I slipped my arm into my brother's and walked with him to the door. "Have you seen anyone yet or made any arrangements?"
"No. I got in at three this morning." He released my arm and held the door for me. "I plan on going to see Danny and maybe Alan today."
"How is Joe?" I wrapped my arms around me, unnerved by the fact that it was wet and cold in Seattle. It was late spring for shit's sake.
"No clue. I'm going to see him later today too. You want to come?"
"No. I don't want to see anyone just yet." I took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm not sure I could hold myself together around anyone but you and maybe Niki."
"And that's perfectly fine." He moved up to a small red Honda and popped the trunk. "You want to drive or want me to?"
"You can." I got in the car and leaned back, closing my eyes. Weariness sat on me like a well-worn coat. It was nice to be home for the first time in years, but I hated the reason for being there. I waited until Lance was in the car to speak up again. "Have you talked with Danny?"
"No. I told him to call me, but he didn't. If I know him well enough, he's pretty fucked up over this too."
"Of course he is. Daddy meant the world to him too." I turned and looked out the window at the dismal weather. "I'm thinking we'll do the funeral on Friday. That will give us time to get everyone in town. That sound okay to you?"
"Yes. That gives us two days." Lance reached over and took my hand. "We're going to figure this out."
"Figure what out?" I turned my attention to him as anger burned down to the depths of my soul. "Figure out that everyone we love is gone besides each other?" My voice cracked again.
"Terra. Don't do that. Dad wouldn't want you to-"
"You don't know what Dad would have wanted, Lance. We left him, remember? We both split and left him alone with one thing to focus on and love. That fucking baseball team."
"Sis."
"No. Please. Just leave me be for now. Please." I pulled my hand from his and turned back to the window. There were no words that could heal my heart, not yet at least.
I just prayed no one else would try and help me get over it.
I wasn't anywhere near ready, and I couldn't see a time when I would be.
Life was fleeting. Short. Fucked up and ugly.
At least mine was.
9
Daniel
I so
mehow made it home the night before. My emotions were all over the fucking place and I couldn't shake the fact that Terra needed me. Truth be known, I was probably the last person she needed. I was a horde of bad memories mixed among the good ones to her. The only place I could find her where she still loved me was in my dreams.
"Danny," she whispered roughly, her mouth against the side of my neck as she lay curled up behind me.
I woke and blinked a few times, trying to decide if I were lost in another dream. The soft brush of her fingertips down my chest and over my stomach left me not giving a shit where I was. As long as she didn't stop touching me, I'd have stayed there forever.
"What, baby?" I gripped her hand and pulled it down further until I got her where I wanted her. She stroked my cock, and my body lit on fire. The delicious press of her breasts against my back had my balls tight.
"You awake?" She licked the side of my neck.
I groaned and squeezed my ass, pressing forward to force my engorged cock through her tight grip. "Fuck, yeah, angel. I'm awake and hard for you."
"I love it." She ran her hand down my shaft and scraped her nails carefully over my balls.
"Fuck," I moaned and pulled her hand from me. "Suck me off?"
"Anything you want, Danny." She moved back, and I rolled onto my back, praying like hell that I could stay in the dream long enough to feel her lips around my dick.
"I just want you." I almost lost my breath as she moved up from behind me and crawled down my body. Her dark red hair tickled my stomach, and I reached down and slid my hand in it as she reached my cock. "I love you so much, baby."
"Not as much as me, but it's okay." She gave me a sexy smile. It was our cute little saying we'd been handing over to each other most of our lives. Or when we were together at least. Her pretty pink tongue ran over the long length of my erection, pressing down on the thick vein that ran along the base of my dick.
"Fuck," I groaned again and lifted my chin as my eyes closed. She was everything I wanted in my life as a partner, but the heat between us in the bed put it over the top. We've never properly made love, but I'd tasted every square inch of her, and she had returned the favor more times than I could count.
Her soft moan caught my attention, and I opened my eyes to watch her take the full length of me in her mouth. She glanced up, her eyes watering a little from too much dick, and I fell in love all over again.
"Please don't leave me," I whispered and gripped the side of her face, pulling her down the last inch.
She flicked her tongue over my head, and the world disappeared. I grunted and lifted my hips as she used her hands and mouth to milk the fuck outta me. Never in my life had I enjoyed something so much.
"Come here." I reached down and grabbed her under the arms, pulling her up my body. "I want to feel your sweet little pussy wrapped around me."
"Be careful with me," she said seductively as she pressed her elbows against the bed by my face and rolled her hips. The movement teased the head of my cock and forced a little of it inside of her.
"I'd never hurt you." I ran my hands down her back, wanting so goddamn bad to push her down on my shaft and fuck her with the wild intensity I felt building up inside of me. Soon. Not her first time, but soon.
"But you did. You do every day." She sat up and slid down my cock, her body not nearly as tight as I'd expected. "So I'll fuck you this time and walk away, just like you fucked me in the past."
"What are you talking about baby?" A cold sweat washed over me, and the pleasure I'd expected to feel fled from the scene. Had she been with another man? Of course, she had. No fucking way she was going to wait on me. How stupid was I?
Did I really care? No. Not in the slightest. I had her now and she wasn't going anywhere.
"You know what I'm talking about, Danny." Her expression tightened just before she got off of me and stood at the edge of the bed. "And now, you killed my dad."
I woke up with a gasp, my dick rock hard and weeping, but my heart torn to shreds. Fuck me for telling Martin he needed to come hang with us. It was my fault, and she'd know that soon enough. I'd never win her back, and yet there was no way I wasn't trying. I'd fight against myself every fucking inch of the way, but if she were coming back to Seattle, I was taking what was mine, emotions, and feelings be damned.
"Hey." I walked onto the field later that day and stopped beside Joe, our head coach. He looked like a ghost, but I understood why. Him driving the car when he and Martin were hit had me wondering why the hell he was even on the field so soon.
"Danny." He nodded my way. "Get out on the field. You're almost late, and I'm in the mood to chew someone's ass. If you want it to be yours, keep standing here."
"Nope. Just wanted you to know-"
"Save it, kid." He nodded toward the field. "Go."
"Yes, Sir." I jogged out onto the field for a warm-up round before the game. No one looked ready to play. Our catcher, Gary stood from his kneeling position as I walked onto the mound. He pulled his mask off and gave me a sad smile.
I let out a sigh and walked toward him. There was no fucking way for any of us to ignore the situation, not that we wanted to. We'd be lucky to hold our own during the game thanks to the weight of Martin's death hanging all around us.
"Hey. You doing okay?" He stopped in front of me, the old guy kind and an all-around favorite on the team. He was closest to Martin outside of me and the coaches.
"I've been better. I need to call Lance, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's my fault that Martin's gone." I swallowed hard but squared my shoulders. Where I'd wanted to keep the information to myself, I couldn't with Gary, and I knew I wouldn't be able to with Lance. It was half the reason I hadn't called him yet, though I knew I needed to.
"Bullshit kid." He reached out and gripped my shoulder. "Martin was his own man. You had no control over him."
"I agree with that." I stared the old man in the face as the crowds poured into the stadium. "I'm the one that made him feel like he had to come out with us though."
"And he did." He squeezed my shoulder and released it. "It's not your fault. You're not God, and the sooner you realize that the easier your life will become."
I snorted. I wasn't humble, but I sure as hell didn't think I was a god. "What about the funeral? Any word on that yet?"
He pulled his cap off and glanced around before settling his steely eyes back on me. "From what I understand, Terra and the rest of the family are coming in today or tonight. The funeral will be on Friday to give them time to make arrangements and get the word out. I'm sure it's going to be a packed house."
"Do they have a place big enough to hold everyone?" I ignored the deep desire to see Terra and hold her tightly against me. She wouldn't want my comfort, and I couldn't blame her.
"No clue, but you know Terra. She'll figure it out."
"I wish she didn't have to." I took a deep breath. "She should just get to be Martin's daughter this weekend."
"She'll always be Martin's little girl, Danny, but she's a grown woman now. She's so much more than you might remember." A smile played at the side of his lips. "How long has it been since you've seen her?"
"Seven years." I didn't hesitate. I didn't need to. I'd caught a glimpse of her on TV or haunting the stadium when Oakland came up to play from time to time, but I hadn't stood in front of her in a lot of years.
"Well, the timing is off and quite shitty, but I'll warn you to hold onto your hat, boy. If you were in love with her back then, you're going to have a hard ass time not tripping over yourself to get to her now."
"I'm going to the funeral as a friend," I mumbled. "I'm not interested in anything else."
He nodded and turned to walk back to the plate, his voice carrying behind him. "Yep. You keep telling yourself that."
10
Terra
"T? You up?" My brother's voice slipped under the closed door of my bedroom. Staying at Dad's house while I was in Seattle was a blessing and a curse. I knew once I
got past the funeral that it would feel good to curl up on the couch with a cup of coffee and laugh the night away with my brother beside me. We were the best of friends, but for some reason, I felt disconnected from him right now. Hell, I felt disconnected from everyone.
Defense mechanism.
"Yeah. I'm up." I rolled out of bed and grabbed my robe, pulling it on and tightening it. He extended a cup of coffee as I pulled the door open.
"For you."
I smiled and took it, glancing down to see that it was the light brown color that only he and my dad got right. "Looks like a dessert." I forced a smile.
"Just like you like it?" He moved back, his dark brown eyes warm and welcoming.
"Yeah. Thanks." I moved out of the bedroom and stopped in front of him. "I'm sorry about yesterday."
He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me, cradling me against his chest. "There's nothing to apologize for. I have no clue which part you're talking about, but I'm good. I just wish I could take all of this away for both of us."
"Me too." I moved back and waited for him to turn and walk down the hall before following him. "Let's make some breakfast and then I guess meet with the funeral home or maybe Dad's lawyers?"
"Unfortunately, both." He walked into the kitchen, and his phone rang from across the room. "I hope that's Danny."
"Why?" I took a seat at the breakfast table and tried to keep my voice even. Just the mention of Danny's name and a million emotions rose up inside of me. Some good, some not so good at all. I knew I'd have to see him the next day at the funeral, but I was dreading it. Some part of me was so fucking angry that he'd denied me his first time and yet I'd saved mine for him.
What a slut he'd become, and me? I was still holding on for a great wedding night with a guy that didn't exist. What a joke.
Captain Hotness: A Single Father Bad Boy Novel Page 36
