by Mika Lane
“Hello. This is the Marin County Sheriff’s office. Is this Noelle Berry?”
She sat straight up in bed, her heart pounding so hard there were spots in front of her eyes.
“Yes, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“It’s about your brother Mikey, Ms. Berry. He’s been in an accident.”
Noelle ran through the ER door and then up to the night nurse.
“Excuse me, the sheriff’s department called. I’m here for my brother, Michael Berry. Where is he please?” she demanded.
Minutes earlier, Noelle had raced her VW along the winding back roads toward Marin General Hospital. She’d pulled a sweater over her PJs and had done nothing else but grab her keys and bag to sprint down the front steps to the car. As she closed the door on her way out, she saw Mikey’s sneakers were missing from the spot where they’d been when she got home. When did he leave the house? And how did he do it without making any noise?
As she drove, the VW’s wheels screeched around corners that she took a little too fast. It was agonizing, but she forced herself to slow. One accident was already more than enough.
The sheriff’s office had had little information for her except that it looked like Mikey had been in a car with some other young men on Lucas Valley Road, the curvy two-lane route leading to Point Reyes. A passing driver had found the car crashed into a tree, the boys injured and bleeding, and drifting in and out of consciousness.
At first, Noelle had insisted to the sheriff that it couldn’t have been Mikey in the car. He was at home, sleeping in his bed. She’d seen his shoes by the door when she’d come home. But when Noelle peeked into Mikey’s room after speaking to the officer, she realized there’d been no mistake.
Leaving her car at the curb, Noelle ran for the emergency room door. In a panic, and focused solely on her brother, the moment she was buzzed in she demanded to know where he was. A sympathetic receptionist came around the desk and guided her down a labyrinth of hallways, where they passed through too many doors to count.
She thanked the receptionist as she was delivered to a desk staffed by a night nurse.
“Ah, Michael Berry. He’s a lucky young man,” the nurse said when Noelle asked for her brother. They hustled to the end of the hall where a doctor and sheriff conversed in low tones.
“Doctor, this is Noelle Berry, Michael’s sister and guardian.”
“Where is my brother? Is he all right?” Her voice quivered.
“Ms. Berry, right this way,” the doctor said, opening the door to the room he was standing in front of.
Noelle entered first, followed by the doctor and then the sheriff.
Her tears began to gush as a sob escaped her mouth. Mikey looked so small and vulnerable in his huge hospital bed, dotted with unidentifiable wires and tubes. He appeared to be sleeping, but his head was held at an awkward angle by a neck brace and one of his arms was in a temporary cast suspended by a traction device. Noelle placed her arms around him, buried her face into his chest, and began to shake with sobs. He smelled like her darling Mikey—a bit of fresh earth mixed with the cheap shampoo he liked so much.
A hand touched her back. She released Mikey to turn and face the doctor through her tears. She took a tissue from him.
“How badly is he hurt?” she asked with crushing fear, trying unsuccessfully to compose herself. “He wasn’t even supposed to leave the house. How did this happen?”
“Your brother is a lucky guy. Michael was the only one wearing a seat belt. He’s sedated right now. We’ll know more soon, but it looks like he may walk away with only a broken arm. He’ll be able to go home most likely some time tomorrow.”
“Oh, thank god.” She burst into fresh tears. “What happened to the other boys?”
The doctor looked down, shaking his head. “They were not as lucky as your brother. They’ve been flow to San Francisco General’s Trauma Center.”
Noelle turned to the sheriff with apprehension. “Was alcohol involved? My brother’s only seventeen. I didn’t even know he’d left the house…” Another sob escaped.
“It looks like there was no alcohol involved, ma’am,” the sheriff explained. “So far, we’re thinking they were out for a joy ride and somehow went off the road. It’s possible the driver fell asleep. We won’t know for certain until the investigation is complete. Maybe one of the boys can shed light on the chain of events before then.”
“Thank you,” Noelle said. “Thank you. It could have been so much worse.” She turned to Mikey’s sleeping form. “You’re going to be okay, sweetie. You’re going to be just fine.”
A nurse came and handed Noelle a blanket and pillow. “Ms. Berry, we thought you might want to rest while you’re waiting for your brother to wake up.” She placed the linens on a large recliner in the corner. “Can I get you some water or something else to drink?”
“Thank you.” The woman’s kindness helped Noelle think straight. “I will take some water. That sounds great.”
She thanked the doctor and sheriff as they left.
Noelle pushed the bulky chair across the room until it pressed against Mikey’s hospital bed. When she settled into it with her blanket and pillow, she was able to hold the hand of his good arm. She recapped all that had happened in the last hour, trying to calm herself. The hypnotizing white noise of Mikey’s steady breathing and the occasional beep of machinery relaxed her, and she dozed.
In her dream this time, Noelle walked along a canal. The warm sunshine tickled her skin as she followed a path scented with fragrant plantings—could that be jasmine? Water lapped the canal’s embankment, and music played in the distance.
Noelle took careful steps with bare feet. She glanced down. Not only was she missing shoes, but she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. She had no idea what she was doing there or where she was supposed to go. Looking all around, she realized she was alone. In front of and behind her, the path wound out of sight. She just kept walking and walking, waiting for something to happen until she felt a hand on her arm. Who is that? Where did they come from?
Noelle, a voice said. Noelle…
Her eyes flew open—the sunshine, the canal, the flowers—all gone, replaced with plain, white walls and fluorescent overhead lighting. She followed the hand on her arm to Mikey’s face. He tightened his grip and shook her.
“Noelle, wake up. Wake up, please.” He was so young. So vulnerable.
“Mikey!” Reality flooded back into her consciousness. “You’re awake.” She jumped out of the chair and threw her arms around him.
“Ah, my arm. Geez, it kills. Damn, Noelle. Careful.”
“Are you okay?” She pushed him to arm’s length, looking him all over as if she had an x-ray vision that would find injuries the hospital might have missed.
She touched his cast. “Are you okay aside from this?”
“Ouch,” he said, trying to weasel away from her frantic probing. “I think I’m okay. I remember being brought in last night. Where are the other guys?”
She shook her head. “They’re at SF General. They didn’t make out as well as you. That’s all I know.” Her relief began shifting to anger. “So what were you doing last night? You weren’t supposed to leave the house.”
“Oh my god,” Mikey said, the reality of the situation sinking in.
The hospital room’s door opened, and Ruth, Devi’s partner, poked her head through. “May I come in?”
“Ruth,” Noelle exclaimed. “How did you know we were here?”
“I saw the name Michael Berry on the night’s ER roster, and I thought he might be your brother.”
Noelle introduced them, explaining to Mikey that Ruth was her boss, Devi’s, partner.
“How are you feeling, young man?” With a maternal touch, Ruth felt his forehead and took his pulse. “I bet you gave your sister a big scare.” She looked at him with a smile so kind Noelle felt as if she’d been kicked in the gut.
This is what Mikey deserved and never got from his own parents.
“Ouch.” Mikey cringed as Ruth probed the suspended arm. “My arm hurts. A lot.”
A nurse joined them. “Michael, good news. You’re being discharged tonight.” She reached up to unhook his arm from the traction device. “This was just to keep you from rolling over on your arm while you were sedated.”
Noelle turned to Ruth. “Would you mind letting Devi know what happened, and that I won’t be in today?”
“Of course, dear. Do either of you need anything else?” Ruth looked from Noelle to Mikey.
With a big embrace, Noelle assured her they’d be fine and thanked her for stopping by. When the nurse and Ruth had gone, Noelle slipped into the hospital bed next to Mikey and gripped his hand, holding him as he drifted off to sleep again.
Later that evening, as they arrived home, Mikey was stiff from the accident, making the climb up the ninety-nine steps to the house extra-arduous. Noelle had known when she bought the run-down place that the steps could one day be a hindrance, but being up on the hill afforded tons of delicious privacy. And then there were those spectacular views…
So he’d be closer to the bathroom and kitchen, she tucked Mikey into her own bed amidst his nonstop complaining about his hurting arm. She sat on the edge of the bed and smoothed the hair off his face, encouraging him to drink the sweet tea she’d brought him.
He took a sip and handed the mug back to her.
“So. You know we’re gonna talk about this.”
“Noelle, I’m sorry. I was just out with the guys. I know I wasn’t supposed to leave. I figured I’d be home before you got up, and you’d never know. I was so bored being stuck in the house.” His voice broke, and the regret came pouring out. “We weren’t drinking, we just went for a ride. I don’t know what happened, and I can’t remember the crash. It’s so weird. Ouch!” He struggled for a more comfortable position.
“You scared me, you little jerk.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Noelle. I really am. I’ll never do anything like that again. Will you lie down with me while I try to fall asleep?”
His begging face broke her heart and she lay down, facing him. “Of course,” she said, pulling up the comforter.
“Mikey,” she began. “It’s time for you to start making better decisions.”
“I know. I promise I will. Starting tomorrow. I’m gonna get that job through your friend…and then I’m gonna…” he murmured drowsily as his painkiller took effect. A minute later, his breathing was soft and regular.
But as fast as Mikey fell into his snooze, Noelle lurched wide awake, staring into the dark room. Consumed by the excitement around Mikey’s accident, she’d missed the dinner she’d scheduled with Dalt.
She grabbed her cell and whipped off a quick text message. I’m so sorry I missed dinner. Terrible emergency with my brother. Will call tomorrow.
Shit!
Chapter 4
When Noelle returned to work the next day, after a long night of tending to Mikey, a chorus of support and inquiry assailed her at the door.
“We heard what happened!”
“Is your brother okay?”
“Is he still in the hospital?”
“Has he been arrested again?”
“He’s going to be fine,” she assured everyone. “Unless I kill him first.”
She laughed, taking the day’s schedule from Devi. Noelle looked it over as she proceeded down the hallway to get ready in the staff room. But she stopped short.
Mr. R had been crossed off her schedule with a hand-written scribble that said no more than “cancellation.” Noelle hurried back to reception.
“Why did Dalt cancel?” she asked Devi. She hadn’t gotten a response to her text of the night before. But he was just busy. Right?
“I have no idea. I was wondering the same,” she answered. “He left a voice mail message early this morning. Said no need to reschedule.”
Great. He’s pissed about the missed dinner. That just might be the end of things.
Once in the staff room, she dialed his cell, but only reached voice mail. “Dalt, I am so sorry about dinner. Please give me a call so I can explain. There was an emergency.”
The staff room door flew open, and Dakini threw her arms around her friend. “Is Mikey gonna be okay? I was so worried.”
“Thanks, Daki. He’s fine.” She extricated herself from Dakini’s arms and reached into her locker for her kimono.
“You don’t sound very happy your little brother got off so easy. Is there something you’re not telling me?” Dakini asked. “The whole ordeal must have been awfully scary. I’m sure Devi will understand if you’re not ready to work yet.”
“Yeah. It was scary. But I’ll be fine.” She gave Dakini’s hand a quick squeeze. “Thank you for asking. I’m sorry if I seem distracted.”
“I thought you said Mikey would be okay.”
“I did. He’ll be totally fine.” She closed her locked door and faced Dakini. “I stood Dalt up for dinner last night. I feel bad. And now I find out he’s cancelled today’s massage and hasn’t rescheduled. He’s probably furious. Can’t say I blame him.”
Dakini’s eyebrows knit together and she put her hands on her hips. “Wait a minute. I thought you wanted nothing to do with him. Why do you care?”
“I…I’m not saying I care. I just feel badly about standing him up.” Blinking fast, she gave away her lie.
“Welllll…you sure seem like you care. Anyway, I’m sure he’ll understand when you explain. Your brother was in a car accident for heaven’s sake. You had something much more important to take care of, and no one in their right mind could blame you for forgetting dinner.”
She flashed Dakini a halfhearted smile and headed to the Sacral Chakra room for her first appointment of the day.
Ninety minutes later, Noelle extinguished the room’s candles. She replaced the sheets on the massage table, tossing the soiled ones into the teak laundry basket. She returned to the staff room before her next client and pulled out her phone. No missed calls.
Dakini joined Noelle in the staff room. “Whew, that client was a lot of work.” She threw her kimono in the laundry and grabbed a towel to head for the shower. But she stopped short.
Noelle stared at her phone screen.
“No call back?”
“What?” Noelle’s head snapped up. “Oh. Nope. No calls.” Okay, time to take action. She grabbed her street clothes from her locker and began dressing. “Hey, can I ask you a favor? Can you take my next client?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I don’t have anyone else coming in this morning. Where are you off to?”
“Not sure yet.” She grabbed her bag and left the staff room.
On her way out, she checked in with her boss. “Dakini’s taking my next client. I need a little break and will be back later.”
“That’s fine with me if it is with Dakini. See you later.” Devi looked up from her bookkeeping. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Noelle pushed open the door.
Once in the VW, she sat for a moment, flicking the ends of her hair. What the hell did she think she was going to do? Dalt was probably just busy, or maybe he’d gone out of town. He might be painting or meeting with a new client. He could be visiting with his family. But for all she tried to comfort herself, she couldn’t crush the anxiety pecking away at her, making her stomach churn and her skin crawl. If she didn’t want to get involved with him, why the hell did she give a damn if she’d hurt his feelings?
She put the car in drive and turned toward the freeway. Ten minutes later, she found herself in Sausalito, pulling up to Dalt’s studio.
Oh god, what am I doing?
She’d kept any and all potential suitors at arm’s length for so long she couldn’t possibly be considering changing. Could she?
Noelle approached Dalt’s building and rang his buzzer. Nobody answered, but when the locked door opened and someone exited, she jumped at the chance to slip inside.
As she climbed the stairs, Noelle inha
led the old building smell she’d found so enchanting during her last visit. She took the steps at a slow pace, giving herself time to think. What the hell did she plan to say to him? What if he was seriously angry with her? Or what if he didn’t care at all—would that be worse? And why she was so worked up to begin with?
Pausing at the top of the steps in front of his door, she weighed her options. Oh what the hell. Swallowing hard, she rapped her knuckles on the beat-up wood. No answer. She tried again.
“Dalt,” she called. “Dalt, are you there? It’s me, Noelle.” She knocked again, pressing her ear to the door, waiting a few minutes as if he might magically appear.
With slumping shoulders she turned back toward the stairs to leave. What now? Her legs felt heavy as she took her time descending, trying to come up with her next move. As she did, she passed the photographer from a few days ago. This time, he had only a backpack. No photography equipment to smack her with.
“Excuse me,” she said. “Have you seen Dalt Ruffen?”
He stopped before her, a little too close for comfort. Noelle stepped back. Prickly hairs grew out of his nose, and his teeth were full of something green he’d just eaten.
The photographer shook his head, looking her up and down with an arrogant grin. He opened his mouth to speak, his atrocious breath burning her eyes. “No, I haven’t. But if you’d like to model for me—”
“No, thank you,” she cut him off, descending the rest of the stairs. The door slammed and she was outside again. Funny. The last time she was there, she’d left the building in a rush then, too.
Back in the VW, she rubbed her temples as she deliberated her next move. Leaning back on the headrest, she closed her eyes, trying hard to get her shit together. What the hell was she doing? Life was complicated enough without letting some guy screw everything up like her mother had.
“Dalt, it’s Noelle.” She tried his cell again. “I’d really like to explain what happened yesterday if you’d give me the chance. Please call me.”
The churn building in her stomach grew far more hostile as she berated herself for pursuing him, and then for wanting to dismiss him. The only thing to do now was head back to work. She’d done all she could, and the ball was in his court. If he chose not to play, so be it.
