“So you’re not a virgin - one less worry.”
“I’m only worried about getting pregnant.”
“You won’t, if you take precautions,” Adele told her.
“The problem is - I don’t know what precautions to take. In Antigua, we had sex a few times and we never used anything. I worried, but nothing happened.”
“You were extremely lucky!” Adele looked horrified. “You can’t expect that kind of luck to go on forever. You’d better talk to her, Jane; you’re the expert, not me.” Jane works in University College Hospital as a nurse in the Accident and Emergency Department.
“You can use lots of things to stop you getting pregnant. Not the coil, though, because you’ve never had a baby,” Jane explained. “They make you bleed too much.”
“I don’t need anything to do that. My periods are heavy enough already. I thought you could stick something in, which collects all the stuff?”
“You mean a cap? They’re messy. You also have to break off whatever you’re doing to put it in. Men hate them.”
“What can I do?”
“Go on the Pill or use a sheath.”
“I wouldn’t rely on sheaths,” interrupted Adele. “You have to remember to take the packet with you. He has to agree to put one on, when he’s worked up and wanting to get on with the job. A lot of men refuse to use anything at all.”
“Why not?”
“They say rubber ruins their sensations and they won't spoil their pleasure for you. They’re not the ones who get pregnant, remember.”
“You sound bitter.” Jane looked startled.
“I once had a bloke who wouldn’t wear anything. One month, we didn’t get our dates right.” Adele shrugged.
“What happened?”
“I got pregnant. When I told him, he hit me. I fell down some steps and lost the child. Just as well. We’d all have had a hell of a life, if we were still together.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Jane sounded horrified.
“Why should you? It’s not the sort of thing I boast about. Losing the baby brought me to my senses and gave me the courage to walk out on the bastard. One of my better decisions, but I certainly wouldn’t trust contraception to any man. I’d rather be in control of my own destiny.”
“How?”
“Go on the Pill. The thing works. You get into a routine. I take one in the morning when I wake up, and the job’s done. We can both enjoy ourselves without worrying.”
“Go to the Family Planning Clinic and get the Pill,” Jane told Gigi. “They need to test your blood pressure and find out if anything will give you a bad reaction. If you can’t take the Pill, use a sheath.”
“And make absolutely sure the blighter wears it. I wish you luck, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Adele.
16th September 1967, Saturday, London.
Gigi came home from work this evening to find Jane dancing round the room.
“What’s happened?” she demanded.
“Look!” Jane held out her left hand. On the third finger she wore a small ring with a deep red stone. “Tommy and I are engaged.”
“He’s asked you! Wonderful!” Gigi caught hold of her hand. “Nice one. Looks old.”
“Victorian, I think. We got it out of a pawnshop. He couldn’t afford much, but I think it’s lovely.”
“I wish you both all the happiness in the world.”
I smiled up at Leilani, who was sitting on top of the wardrobe as usual, looking pleased with herself. She gave me a thumbs-up sign.
“Let’s celebrate as soon as Adele gets back.”
The door opened and Adele asked, “Celebrate what?”
“Jane’s engaged,” Gigi said. “I’m envious, aren’t you?”
“Wonderful. Congrats. Are you getting married soon?”
“Nothing's decided yet, but I'd like a summer wedding if possible.”
“When did this all happen?”
“We’ve been talking about it for a while, but last night he asked me properly. We bought the ring today.”
“You haven’t told us much about him,” Gigi said. “Let’s go for a drink and you can tell us the whole story.”
The Red Lion was quiet for a change. The after work crowd had gone home and only a few of the evening drinkers had arrived. The girls found a table and sat there, sipping their shandies.
“Where did you meet him?” Adele, as usual, asked the first question.
“At the hospital. A car knocked him off his motorbike, so he was a mess. He had a black eye and a cut lip. He definitely wasn't looking his best. We got talking while I patched him up and he asked me out.”
“What do you like about him?”
“He’s funny and gentle and kind.”
“What don’t you like about him?”
“He snores!” They all laughed.
“What’s his job?”
“Are you asking me if he can keep me in the manner I’m accustomed to?” Jane grinned.
“Don’t be silly!” Adele giggled.
“He’s labouring on a building site at the moment.”
“Mmm! Nice muscles?” Gigi pulled a face and Jane laughed.
“He does, but he only works there because the money's good.”
Adele went to get in another round. When she got back, she found Jane's mood had changed.
“Now for the crunch,” whispered Leilani. “Jane shouldn’t drink. She gets depressed too easily. She’s beginning to think about her problems.”
The girls were sipping their third half when Jane said, “I wonder how my parents are going to take the news.”
“Haven’t you told them yet?” Gigi sounded surprised. “I’d ring mine up straight away.”
“They don't even know I have a serious boyfriend yet.”
“Why not?” asked Gigi.
“I’m not sure how they’ll react. I only ever had one boyfriend before and I’d known him since I was six. We lasted two months before we broke up. They think I’m still a virgin.”
“Ha! Ha!”
“As if!”
“My Dad’s a banker and Mum stays at home, keeping the house looking good. Tommy’s a labourer. His Dad's dead and his Mum works in a fish and chip shop.”
“I see what you mean. Not likely to be soul mates then?”
“Hardly. To make matters worse, Tommy has long hair and the last time he wore a tie was at school. You should hear my dad on the subject of young men with long hair.”
“Couldn’t he get it cut before he meets them?”
“He could, but I don’t want him to. He plays in a rock band and that’s their style.”
“Not likely to endear him to your parents then, but does that matter?”
“It does to me. I love my parents, especially my mother. I don’t want to fight with them.”
“You must tell them, though, before the wedding,” Gigi pointed out.
“I’m dreading it.”
“Maybe everything will turn out better than you expect, cross your fingers and hope for the best.”
“Gigi’s an optimist,” murmured Leilani.
“I wish everything was over and done with,” Jane fretted.
“Then you can get down to planning the do and shopping...”
“...For dresses and long white veils,” Adele finished.
“Things will be okay,” Gigi said.
“They won’t,” Leilani murmured sadly, “Jane is in for an awful row. She’s going to be dreadfully miserable for a while. I can’t imagine a way out of the situation at the moment and I must. Tommy will be famous and raise millions for charity, but he won’t if Jane leaves him. She’s the catalyst that makes everything happen. He can’t do it without her.”
“Can we do anything to help?” I asked.
“Three heads are better than one and you can always ask Angels Central,” Maude suggested.
“That shower! They’d drive you to drink.”
“Good idea.” I opened another bottle.
“After all, we are supposed to be celebrating tonight; even if the problems will still be around in the morning. We’ll solve them later.”
16th September 1967, Saturday evening, London.
When they got back to the hostel, Jane went to take a bath. Gigi started to read a magazine, but Adele paced up and down the room restlessly. Eventually she rummaged under her bed and pulled out a guitar.
“I didn’t know you played.”
“I don’t practise enough. I’m going up on the roof where nobody can hear all the bum notes.”
Gigi was dozing when Jane came back.
“Where’s Adele?” she asked, seeing Adele’s empty bed.
“Playing her guitar. What's the time?”
“Twenty past twelve.”
“Good heavens, she’s been up there for ages.” Gigi climbed reluctantly out of the warmth. “I’d better find out if she is all right. She looked a bit rough earlier on.”
“I’ll go,” Jane offered.
“No. After a hot bath, you’d catch your death of cold.”
Gigi pulled an old sweater over her pyjamas and climbed up the stairs. I followed her. Maude was with Adele, though, so she must be okay. At the top, we could hear the plaintive notes of ‘Plaisir d’Amour’. Adele's playing didn’t sound too bad to me, but I’m almost tone deaf. That's not changed - you obviously keep some of your imperfections in Heaven. Strange thought.
Gigi opened the rusty door, which gave a loud squeak. The music stopped abruptly. Adele sat on the parapet, holding her guitar on her knee. Maude perched beside her, looking the other way, with her legs dangling out into space. Just as well nothing can hurt her any more.
“Are you all right?” Gigi asked. “It’s getting late.”
Adele shrugged. “Yes.”
“Aren’t you cold? You’ve been up here for ages.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“May I stay?”
“I’m not good company at the moment.”
“What’s up with her?” I turned to Maude.
“She’s comparing herself with Jane, the poor love. I want to give her a big hug.”
“You’d frighten her to death if she felt it!” I hissed.
Gigi sat down and Adele began to play again. The soft notes were almost drowned by the roar of the traffic on Euston Road.
When she finished the song, Gigi asked softly, “What’s bothering you?”
“Jane’s one of my best friends and I’m jealous because she’s engaged. What a horrible person I truly am!”
“I’m a bit jealous of her myself,” Gigi admitted.
“I wouldn’t want to take any of her happiness away. I just wish I could be as lucky as she is!”
“I thought you loved Ralph?”
“I’ll always be second best to him. He’ll never leave his wife for me. I didn’t know he was married when I met him. By the time I found out, I was smitten but I’m not sure if he loves me at all.”
“He must do, to stay with you for so long.”
“Four years. Everything was wonderful at first. Now we make love regularly on a Tuesday and Thursday. We’re like an old married couple, except for the ring and I’ve even got one of those.” Her laughter sounded ugly. “I bought it at Woolworth’s, for when we pretend.” Adele plucked the guitar strings in a wild discord and slammed her hand on the jangle, cutting off the noise.
“Wouldn’t life be wonderful if we controlled our fate? What would you do if we did?” Gigi asked, trying to distract her.
“I’d marry Ralph, although that’s not fair on his kids. They’re too young to lose their father and I wouldn’t do that to them. I’d like to meet Prince Charming but he doesn’t exist, at least, not for me. I’ve kissed too many toads that stay toads.” She laughed again. “I’ve never had much luck with men. If I couldn’t marry Ralph, I’d go far away. Somewhere warm with sunshine and palm trees and white beaches.”
“Those things don’t always bring happiness,” Gigi said. “Antigua has sun and palm trees and beaches, but I was never happy there.”
“You prefer being here in the rain and the smog?” Adele sounded disbelieving.
“Yes. I feel as if I’m waiting for something wonderful to happen, but I don’t know what it is. I'm just sure that I'll find it in London, not in the Caribbean.”
“You romantic, you.”
“Aren’t I?” Gigi grinned.
“You want your knight on a white charger to carry you off into the sunset.”
“No. I don’t like horses, even if they’re white ones, and knights in armour rattle too much!”
“She’s stolen Leilani’s line,” I whispered to Maude and she giggled.
“I thought I’d met my knight once, when I was sixteen.” Adele said wistfully. “Mum had died and Dad married again. I hated my stepmother, because she took Dad away from me. He wasn’t much of a parent, but he was all I had left. Debbie didn’t want to be bothered with an awkward teenager. I don’t blame her now. I was an awful brat. When Mark came along, he seemed like my way out.”
“What happened?”
“He was a photographer and told me I could be a model. He took photos for my portfolio and introduced me to a couple of his friends in the agencies. I got a few jobs, but I never made the big time. In the end, I couldn’t take the rejections. They talk about you as if you’re a piece of meat with no feelings and you lose whatever confidence you had.”
“And Mark?”
“He used to get ugly drunk and beat me. When he put me into hospital for the third time and I lost the baby, I’d had enough. I told you that story. I walked out of the ward and didn’t tell anyone where I was going. I worked at a temp agency and lived in a Sally Army Hostel, until I found this place. I've been here ever since. ”
“How awful.”
“No one beats me up any more. Mark wasn't the only bastard in my life and it must run in the family. Mum was just as unlucky with her men, even Dad. She had me, so she stayed with him. She always wanted to travel to India. Sometimes I dream about going somewhere, doing something different, before I get stuck just like Mum.”
“Why don’t you then?”
“I’m scared, I guess, and I’d lose Ralph. He’s the only one who's been decent to me.”
“Would he be terribly hurt if you left him?” Gigi asked.
“In the beginning, perhaps, but now I’m not so sure. He sometimes cancels our dates and he doesn’t mind if, for some reason, I can’t meet him.”
“Doesn’t seem much fun to me.”
“My life’s always been like that.” Adele strummed another sad little chord.
“You could change it.”
“Do you actually believe that?”
“Yes. If you want something badly enough; you’ll find a way. Think about it hard and cross your fingers,” Gigi said.
Adele stared at her, as if she was seeing her for the first time. “You do believe, don’t you? I wish I did. I don’t know what I want, that’s the problem.”
“Being happy, for a start? Like Jane?”
“Jane’s sort of happiness is only for those who haven’t been hurt. She can still trust another person, I can’t.”
“There are other types of happiness.” Gigi didn’t want to give up. “What about your dream of going to India?”
Adele smiled sadly. “With my luck, it’d be straight out of the frying pan into the fire.”
“You’ll never know! You’ve just told me you’re not happy with your life here. What would you lose?”
“Ralph, my job, my place here and my friends!”
“Take unpaid leave. They’d hold your place in the hostel, if you paid the rent up front. Jane is getting married and I can't stay forever. Even if my knight doesn’t carry me off, Mum will, sooner or later. Ralph's the only one left.”
“Yes I must decide what to do about Ralph one day soon." Adele shivered. "I’m getting cold and you must be too. Let’s go in now.”
The mood was broken. Maude an
d I lingered, looking out at the stars and the shining city.
“What do you think?” Maude asked me.
“Promising. At least the thought of leaving Ralph has been planted in Adele's head. Well done, Gigi.” I felt quite proud of her.
“Adele will need money to travel and she's broke,” Maude murmured.
“She’s got a good job and the hostel doesn’t cost a lot. What does she spend her wages on?”
“Clothes, make-up and going out with Ralph. She’s never saved up for anything.”
“Well, we’ll have to get her to change her ways, so she can travel if she wants to,” I said.
“Yes and quickly. Time’s running out for her,” Maude agreed.
16th September 1967, Saturday night, London.
“Adele's talking about India made my mouth water,” I told Leilani and Maude, when our clients were asleep.
“Do you like curries?” Maude asked.
“Love them. I used to go to a restaurant at home called ‘Naaz’. They make wonderful Royal Butter Chicken. What I wouldn’t give to eat some right now.”
“Don’t give anything,” Maude reminded me. “Leilani and I like Indian evenings. Let’s do it.”
She touched her bracelet and suddenly sheaves of tropical flowers surrounded us and enough twinkling lights to celebrate Diwali. We sat down to the best Indian meal I’d ever had: coconut rice, mango lassi and Royal Butter Chicken. Everything tasted better than I remembered.
We dressed up for the occasion. Leilani decked herself out in a bright red sari with frangipani in her dark hair. She looked even more lovely and exotic than she does in a mini. Maude and I opted for shalwar kameez in emerald green and yellow respectively. The clothes were so soft and smooth, I think I’m going to wear them when I’m off duty and can please myself.
We played music as we ate, single notes dropping into silence. Not very Indian, more New Age, but we enjoyed it. We chatted about all sorts of things. Maude told us some of her experiences in India, where she’d once haunted a Bollywood studio. She kept making wailing sounds as the leading actor and actress kissed. “If you'd seen the expressions on the actors’ faces - passion gone wrong! The director went mad, looking for the source of the problem, which was the idea.”
Ghost Diaries 1_Gigi's Guardian_Paranormal Romance Page 8
