THE JOKING HORNERS
CHAP. 22
It was not long before they left the passage and came to a great cave,so high that it must have reached nearly to the top of the mountainwithin which it lay. It was a magnificent cave, illumined by the soft,invisible light, so that everything in it could be plainly seen. Thewalls were of polished marble, white with veins of delicate colorsrunning through it, and the roof was arched and carved in designs bothfantastic and beautiful.
Built beneath this vast dome was a pretty village--not very large, forthere seemed not more than fifty houses altogether--and the dwellingswere of marble and artistically designed. No grass nor flowers nortrees grew in this cave, so the yards surrounding the houses were smoothand bare and had low walls around them to mark their boundaries.
In the streets and the yards of the houses were many people, all havingone leg growing below their bodies and all hopping here and therewhenever they moved. Even the children stood firmly upon their singlelegs and never lost their balance.
"All hail, Champion!" cried a man in the first group of Hoppers theymet; "whom have you captured?"
"No one," replied the Champion in a gloomy voice; "these strangers havecaptured me."
"Then," said another, "we will rescue you, and capture them, for we aregreater in number."
"No," answered the Champion, "I can't allow it. I've surrendered, and itisn't polite to capture those you've surrendered to."
"Never mind that," said Dorothy. "We will give you your liberty and setyou free."
"Really?" asked the Champion in joyous tones.
"Yes," said the little girl; "your people may need you to help conquerthe Horners."
At this all the Hoppers looked downcast and sad. Several more had joinedthe group by this time and quite a crowd of curious men, women andchildren surrounded the strangers.
"This war with our neighbors is a terrible thing," remarked one of thewomen. "Some one is almost sure to get hurt."
"Why do you say that, madam?" inquired the Scarecrow.
"Because the horns of our enemies are sharp, and in battle they will tryto stick those horns into our warriors," she replied.
"How many horns do the Horners have?" asked Dorothy.
"Each has one horn in the center of his forehead," was the answer.
"Oh, then they're unicorns," declared the Scarecrow.
"No; they're Horners. We never go to war with them if we can help it, onaccount of their dangerous horns; but this insult was so great and sounprovoked that our brave men decided to fight, in order to berevenged," said the woman.
"What weapons do you fight with?" the Scarecrow asked.
"We have no weapons," explained the Champion. "Whenever we fight theHorners, our plan is to push them back, for our arms are longer thantheirs."
"Then you are better armed," said Scraps.
"Yes; but they have those terrible horns, and unless we are careful theyprick us with the points," returned the Champion with a shudder. "Thatmakes a war with them dangerous, and a dangerous war cannot be apleasant one."
"I see very clearly," remarked the Scarecrow, "that you are going tohave trouble in conquering those Horners--unless we help you."
"Oh!" cried the Hoppers in a chorus; "can you help us? Please do! Wewill be greatly obliged! It would please us very much!" and by theseexclamations the Scarecrow knew that his speech had met with favor.
"How far is it to the Horner Country?" he asked.
"Why, it's just the other side of the fence," they answered, and theChampion added:
"Come with me, please, and I'll show you the Horners."
So they followed the Champion and several others through the streets andjust beyond the village came to a very high picket fence, built all ofmarble, which seemed to divide the great cave into two equal parts.
But the part inhabited by the Horners was in no way as grand inappearance as that of the Hoppers. Instead of being marble, the wallsand roof were of dull gray rock and the square houses were plainly madeof the same material. But in extent the city was much larger than thatof the Hoppers and the streets were thronged with numerous people whobusied themselves in various ways.
Looking through the open pickets of the fence our friends watched theHorners, who did not know they were being watched by strangers, andfound them very unusual in appearance. They were little folks in sizeand had bodies round as balls and short legs and arms. Their heads wereround, too, and they had long, pointed ears and a horn set in the centerof the forehead. The horns did not seem very terrible, for they were notmore than six inches long; but they were ivory white and sharp pointed,and no wonder the Hoppers feared them.
The skins of the Horners were light brown, but they wore snow-whiterobes and were bare-footed. Dorothy thought the most striking thingabout them was their hair, which grew in three distinct colors on eachand every head--red, yellow and green. The red was at the bottom andsometimes hung over their eyes; then came a broad circle of yellow andthe green was at the top and formed a brush-shaped top-knot.
None of the Horners was yet aware of the presence of strangers, whowatched the little brown people for a time and then went to the big gatein the center of the dividing fence. It was locked on both sides andover the latch was a sign reading:
"WAR IS DECLARED"
"Can't we go through?" asked Dorothy.
"Not now," answered the Champion.
"I think," said the Scarecrow, "that if I could talk with those Hornersthey would apologize to you, and then there would be no need to fight."
"Can't you talk from this side," asked the Champion.
"Not so well," replied the Scarecrow. "Do you suppose you could throw meover that fence? It is high, but I am very light."
"We can try it," said the Hopper. "I am perhaps the strongest man in mycountry, so I'll undertake to do the throwing. But I won't promise youwill land on your feet."
"No matter about that," returned the Scarecrow. "Just toss me over andI'll be satisfied."
So the Champion picked up the Scarecrow and balanced him a moment, tosee how much he weighed, and then with all his strength tossed him highinto the air.
Perhaps if the Scarecrow had been a trifle heavier he would have beeneasier to throw and would have gone a greater distance; but, as it was,instead of going over the fence he landed just on top of it, and one ofthe sharp pickets caught him in the middle of his back and held him fastprisoner. Had he been face downward the Scarecrow might have managed tofree himself, but lying on his back on the picket his hands waved in theair of the Horner Country while his feet kicked the air of the HopperCountry; so there he was.
"Are you hurt?" called the Patchwork Girl anxiously.
"Course not," said Dorothy. "But if he wiggles that way he may tear hisclothes. How can we get him down, Mr. Champion?"
The Champion shook his head.
"I don't know," he confessed. "If he could scare Horners as well as hedoes crows, it might be a good idea to leave him there."
"This is terrible," said Ojo, almost ready to cry. "I s'pose it'sbecause I am Ojo the Unlucky that everyone who tries to help me getsinto trouble."
"You are lucky to have anyone to help you," declared Dorothy. "But don'tworry. We'll rescue the Scarecrow, somehow."
"I know how," announced Scraps. "Here, Mr. Champion; just throw me up tothe Scarecrow. I'm nearly as light as he is, and when I'm on top thefence I'll pull our friend off the picket and toss him down to you."
"All right," said the Champion, and he picked up the Patchwork Girl andthrew her in the same manner he had the Scarecrow. He must have usedmore strength this time, however, for Scraps sailed far over the top ofthe fence and, without being able to grab the Scarecrow at all, tumbledto the ground in the Horner Country, where her stuffed body knocked overtwo men and a woman and made a crowd that had collected there run likerabbits to get away from her.
Seeing the next moment that she was harmless, the people slowly returnedand gathered around the Patchwork Girl, r
egarding her with astonishment.One of them wore a jeweled star in his hair, just above his horn, andthis seemed a person of importance. He spoke for the rest of his people,who treated him with great respect.
"Who are you, Unknown Being?" he asked.
"Scraps," she said, rising to her feet and patting her cotton waddingsmooth where it had bunched up.
"And where did you come from?" he continued.
"Over the fence. Don't be silly. There's no other place I _could_ havecome from," she replied.
He looked at her thoughtfully.
"You are not a Hopper," said he, "for you have two legs. They're notvery well shaped, but they are two in number. And that strange creatureon top the fence--why doesn't he stop kicking?--must be your brother, orfather, or son, for he also has two legs."
"You must have been to visit the Wise Donkey," said Scraps, laughing somerrily that the crowd smiled with her, in sympathy. "But that remindsme, Captain--or King--"
"I am Chief of the Horners, and my name is Jak."
"Of course; Little Jack Horner; I might have known it. But the reason Ivolplaned over the fence was so I could have a talk with you about theHoppers."
"What about the Hoppers?" asked the Chief, frowning.
"You've insulted them, and you'd better beg their pardon," said Scraps."If you don't, they'll probably hop over here and conquer you."
"We're not afraid--as long as the gate is locked," declared the Chief."And we didn't insult them at all. One of us made a joke that the stupidHoppers couldn't see."
The Chief smiled as he said this and the smile made his face look quitejolly.
"What was the joke?" asked Scraps.
"A Horner said they have less understanding than we, because they'veonly one leg. Ha, ha! You see the point, don't you? If you stand on yourlegs, and your legs are under you, then--ha, ha, ha!--then your legs areyour under-standing. Hee, hee, hee! Ho, ho! My, but that's a fine joke.And the stupid Hoppers couldn't see it! They couldn't see that with onlyone leg they must have less under-standing than we who have two legs.Ha, ha, ha! Hee, hee! Ho, ho!" The Chief wiped the tears of laughterfrom his eyes with the bottom hem of his white robe, and all the otherHorners wiped their eyes on their robes, for they had laughed just asheartily as their Chief at the absurd joke.
"Then," said Scraps, "their understanding of the understanding you meantled to the misunderstanding."
"Exactly; and so there's no need for us to apologize," returned theChief.
"No need for an apology, perhaps, but much need for an explanation,"said Scraps decidedly. "You don't want war, do you?"
"Not if we can help it," admitted Jak Horner. "The question is, who'sgoing to explain the joke to the Horners? You know it spoils any joke tobe obliged to explain it, and this is the best joke I ever heard."
"Who made the joke?" asked Scraps.
"Diksey Horner. He is working in the mines, just now, but he'll be homebefore long. Suppose we wait and talk with him about it? Maybe he'll bewilling to explain his joke to the Hoppers."
"All right," said Scraps. "I'll wait, if Diksey isn't too long."
"No, he's short; he's shorter than I am. Ha, ha, ha! Say! that's abetter joke than Diksey's. He won't be too long, because he's short.Hee, hee, ho!"
The other Horners who were standing by roared with laughter and seemedto like their Chief's joke as much as he did. Scraps thought it was oddthat they could be so easily amused, but decided there could be littleharm in people who laughed so merrily.
The Patchwork Girl of Oz Page 23
