by Starla Kaye
"Don't do anything until I get there. I need to talk to you all. And Shawna." Cade blew out a breath filled with frustration. "She and I need to get some things straightened out."
The other men were silent a couple of minutes. "I just hope she hasn't done something crazy," Scott said, sounding worried.
Cade was barely listening, already sorting through all that he needed to take care of before he left London today. And sorting through what he needed to say to Shawna. But the word "crazy" caught his attention. His gut knotted. "What do you mean 'crazy'?"
"She knew we were having trouble coming up with the money to pay down on the Double D," Scott started to explain. "But we figured it out, though she doesn't know that because she took off." He heaved a breath of disgust. "We think she's gone to sell Bessy. Bessy and one of the horse trailers is missing."
"What? Bessy? She loves that horse, needs that horse for her barrel racing." Cade couldn't believe she would sell the valuable animal, an animal that meant so much to her. But then she would do whatever it took to help buy a new home for herself and her friends. Damn, damn, double damn.
"Do what you can to find out if she really sold her horse. If she did, get me the buyer's name," he ordered and stood to start pulling clothes from the dresser drawers. "And haul Shawna back to the ranch, kicking and screaming if you have to. But I want her there when I get back, hopefully, tomorrow."
The men were quiet again, but Scott finally said, "You're in love with Shawna, aren't you?" He didn't sound as if he liked the idea, but was resigned to it anyway.
Cade set the clothes he would wear today aside and admitted, "Yes. She drives me nuts sometimes...like now. But I want her in my life. Always."
"Let's just hope you can convince her." With that said, Scott disconnected.
"Amen to that, cowboy." Cade dropped his phone on the bed and prayed he could make peace with the woman he couldn't live without.
Chapter Six
Shawna couldn't seem to stop crying and it was really starting to annoy her. She was tougher than this. Really. Even as the thought tumbled through her mind, the soul-deep sobs began once more. How could she keep crying? How could there possibly be any tears left inside her?
She climbed off the hotel room's rumpled bed and headed for the bathroom. At this point there weren't many tissues left, which should give her added incentive to pull it together and get out of here. She was not calling down to the office to ask for more tissues. She was not! Besides the continued flood of tears, her eyes burned from so much sobbing and from lack of sleep. She'd begun this nonstop tear jag a week ago when she'd left the Rolling Hills. It had continued as she'd driven down here to Austin to see an old friend who bought and sold rodeo stock she'd been sure could help her out.
A glance in the mirror revealed the same pitiful person Todd Hawker had seen arrive on his doorstep. Red-rimmed, sunken eyes, splotchy complexion--she wasn't one of those women who cried and looked softly wounded. No, she looked awful. He'd taken one look at her and pulled her into his embrace. His comforting hug had been a salve for the moment. When she'd managed to get a grip on things, he had listened to her tale of woe, beginning and ending with Cade Calloway. He'd been ready to join up with her friends back at the ranch and hunt Cade down like the "dirty, rotten scum he was" and pound him to a pulp.
The idea of big, gentle Todd even considering something like that made her smile, just as it had when he'd grumbled out the words. She hadn't wanted Cade "pounded to a pulp," still didn't. Unless she could do the pounding herself. But then she was afraid if she touched him in any way, she would lose all of her mad and re-find all of her lust for him. She really was pitiful.
Grabbing the last couple of tissues, she dabbed at her tears and blew her nose. Her heart hurt so much. She had sold her beloved Bessy almost a week ago now to Todd, although he had desperately tried to talk her out of selling her horse. She'd thought each day would get a little better, but it hadn't. The pain of loss was always with her. She'd suffered too many losses recently: Bessy, the ranch that had been her home and job...and Cade. Truthfully, she wasn't sure she could survive this time. Did it matter? Who would really care if she just stayed here forever? In this cheap, somewhat ratty motel. Or if she just got in her pickup truck and drove off into the sunset.
She studied the miserable-looking woman in the mirror. What the hell are you doing here? Get off this emotional roller coaster and get back in the truck! Head it back toward home. Scott, Alan, and the rest of her friends would be worrying about her. She knew that, just hadn't wanted to think about it during her serious pity party. Cade was probably worried, too. Not that she cared about his concern. He'd caused this mess.
Staying here was being selfish, spending money meant for helping to purchase the Double D. But it was hard to pull herself together and head back to Kansas. Her friends were no doubt worried, yes, but furious with her as well for being out of touch all this time. She'd let her temper get the best of her when she'd gotten irritated with Scott trying to call her, as well as Cade. She had tossed her cell phone out the window somewhere in Kansas. Which had been incredibly stupid. Dangerous, too. She should have picked up another phone in one of the many towns she'd gone through, but she hadn't. Well, she would today...and she would call Scott. Not Cade.
* * *
"Austin? She pulled that damn horse trailer all the way down to Austin this time of year?" Cade questioned in anger. He had just gotten off the phone after yet another bitter discussion with Sam Arnold concerning the sale of the Rolling Hills Ranch that Cade had called off. He wasn't in the best of moods. Especially since he hadn't been able to talk with Shawna in over a week. Scott hadn't even been able to track her down, until now.
"An old friend of ours called about an hour ago. He wanted to make sure she got back here all right. Claimed she was a real mess when she came to see him last week." Scott blew out a breath filled with frustration. "He bought Bessy."
Cade looked out the big window of the main house toward the ranch yard. A half dozen new ranch hands were doing various chores. They appeared competent enough, but he'd rather have Scott, Alan and the other men back here. And Scott knew it, but the man had been basically blowing off any serious talk about an arrangement Cade wanted to make. So he felt testy toward Scott at the moment.
"Name. I want his name and contact info."
"Maybe it's best that--"
"Shawna loves that horse! She needs that horse." Cade sucked in a deep breath, attempted to calm down. He was just so damn tired. It felt like he hadn't slept since leaving London over a week ago. "I'm buying Bessy back. We've already talked about this."
"Because you love Shawna," Scott's tone lost the tense edge. "Todd Hawker. He buys and sells rodeo stock, some of the best stock. Bessy could make him a fortune because of her reputation. But he's hoping Shawna will come to her senses and want her back."
"Of course she wants the horse back. But will she do anything about that? No. Even if you can convince her you didn't need that money for your down payment, she won't change her mind. She'll just insist on her money being put into the Double D. We both know it."
"Yeah. Damn stubborn woman," Scott admitted, not sounding pleased.
"Good thing I'm every bit as stubborn," Cade said.
Cade knew her enough to understand that once she made up her mind about something, she didn't back down. She'd tried like hell to find a way to buy this ranch. When she'd decided nothing could happen, she gave up. He'd wanted to talk to her when he got back from London, but she had made up her mind and didn't want to talk to him. She had decided to move on. Of course, that visit from his now-fired lawyer and Arnold had lite a fire under her. She hadn't even waited around to talk to Scott and Alan. No, strong-willed woman that she was, she'd taken off with her horse. She'd had this crazy plan and stuck to it. No matter what it cost her, personally cost her. Financially, her plan had gained her $50,000, at least according to what Scott had told him that she'd wired to their shared bank acco
unt.
"One other thing," Scott interrupted Cade's musings. "She's on her way back here. She sent us a text message. Something about having lost her phone and finally having gotten a new one. She also said that she won't answer a call, doesn't want to talk until she can do it in person."
"Let me know the second she gets there." Cade knew they would contact him, but probably not until Shawna was good and ready to talk to him. He decided to just show up at their ranch first thing in the morning. He'd give her the night to rest, but then there was going to be holy Hell to pay.
* * *
Talk about a deja vu moment! A seriously bad one.
Shawna squirmed for all she was worth but Cade held her tightly over his lap. "Let me up, you sorry sonofa--"
Smack! His big, hard hand fell with a swat that echoed around the barn to her denim-covered bottom. "Calling me names is only going to make this worse." He swatted her again, harder.
"You have no right to do this!" Yet he'd been warming her bottom for several minutes already, although the spanks had been fairly light until she started wiggling around.
"Lie still or I'm going to pull these jeans down." He moved his hand to her waistband and his fingers touched her bare skin. He froze, obviously feeling something like the immediate livewire sensations flashing through her.
Her entire body zapped with awareness of him, with longing. She forced the desire aside and said in an annoyingly husky tone, "Let me up! This minute. Or I'm going to press charges against you." Of course, she would never do that. She'd never be able to explain that his form of accosting her was to take her over his knee and spank her.
"I'm not letting you up." Cade tucked her tighter against him, abandoning his intention to lower her jeans. Thank God. "And you're not going to press charges."
"I might." Liar. She made another effort to scoot free of his hold. Impossible.
Her foolish effort only encouraged him to send a rapid rain of brisk, stinging swats to her butt. "You are one of the most contrary women I know."
She was about to lay into him for his ridiculous comment when they both heard heavy footsteps in the open doorway of the barn and moving inside. Her face flamed in embarrassment at realizing this horrible incident was being witnessed.
"Maybe a paddle would be better," Scott offered, sounding not at all bothered by the sight before him.
"Thanks so much for your concern," Shawna bit out, but couldn't make herself look toward her friend and partner. There had probably been dozens of times over the years they had known one another that he would've liked to spank her. He'd even mentioned it now and then. But she would never have put up with it. Yet here she lie over Cade Calloway's knee as he sat on a bench between horse stalls in the Double D's barn. Sure, she'd resisted going over his knee and was still resisting, but she hadn't actually out-and-out refused his punishment. Dragging her heels, wriggling around, calling him names, saying things she didn't really mean. Yes, she'd done all of that. Still, here she was, butt up and getting spanked. Because she was basically allowing it to happen. What did that say about her? Was she into his whole dominant/submissive thing? Or did she just understand that she really did need a strong-willed man to bring her in line on occasion, like he'd once said? Whatever.
"Oh, I'm 'concerned,' but definitely not enough to stop Calloway from giving you something you've needed for a spell now."
She managed to crane her head back and send him a glower. Before she could protest, Cade planted his hand on her tender bottom and gave a little squeeze. Mortified, she lowered her head once more. Then she sensed Cade looking at Scott, sensed the men sharing some kind of bonding moment.
"We'd appreciate some privacy," Cade stated, squeezing her butt again. "At least I'm sure Shawna would like it."
"Reckon she would." Scott's footsteps receded and then he added, "I'll keep the others away from here for a while."
She remained still, relieved when she heard the sound of the double doors being pulled shut. Gawd! How humiliating! How could she ever look him in the eye again?
"He's gone. You can relax now." Cade lifted his hand.
Stupid as it was, she missed his touch. Then, disgusted with her thought, she shifted a bit in her awkward position. "Relax. Right. That's so not happening." He sure had muscled thighs for someone who didn't get the kind of physical workouts on a daily basis that Scott and the others did. "I'm bent over your knee, my bottom is throbbing, and I'm pretty sure you're not done. So it's darn hard to relax at the moment."
His hand smoothed over her buttocks, which quivered in response. Her lower lips pulsed. Her clit started doing a little dance of excitement. All this and the man was touching her on top of a thick layer of clothing. She didn't want this; she wanted to make up with him in a far different way. "I'm sorry."
"Exactly what are you sorry for? I really want to know." His hand stopped but he kept it flat against her bottom.
Shawna didn't move, didn't speak. Everything was such a muddled mess. Scott and Alan had read her the riot act as soon as she'd arrived here last night. First they had hugged her until she'd worried about being crushed, and then they'd led her into the ranch house they would all be sharing now. She'd barely said a word the entire hour they had explained how they had bought the Double D, how they didn't need her money from selling Bessy, and mostly how she was never, ever to go off on a whim like she'd done. She'd sat there and cried silently most of the time. She'd been such a fool. Now everything was so messed up. Now she didn't have Bessy and her friends were still angry with her. And Cade...
"I'm waiting," Cade prompted and gave her bottom a brisk smack.
"Stop it! I'm thinking." She didn't know what to say to him. Her feelings for him were so confused. And she didn't know why he was here, besides, of course, that he wanted to spank her. He had shown up at the ranch a half hour or so ago, been directed here by one of the men, and shared a very annoyed glance with her before dragging her to this bench. But she'd seen not only anger with her but also hurt in his eyes. It was the hurt--well, and the fact that she loved him--that kept her lying on his lap.
"So are you sorry you took off without talking to Scott and Alan, without giving them a chance to explain their plans? Sorry you worried them half to death?" He swatted her bottom twice.
She sucked in a breath, wincing. Jeans or not, her bottom was stinging. "I knew their plans to buy this ranch," she admitted quietly. She remembered her frustration, her doubt that they could pull it off without her help. "I needed to do my share."
Cade heaved a heavy sigh, irritation seeming to thrum through him, so much that she felt it, too. "I only wanted to help."
"Your help was unnecessary. All of this was unnecessary. If any of you had only given me a chance to talk to you. If you had just waited until I got back from London." She heard the frustrated disappointment in his voice, but didn't understand it. "You are all so damn stubborn."
She angled her head back to look around at him, her long braid bopping her in the face. She awkwardly reached a hand up to push it over her other shoulder. "And you aren't?"
He held her gaze, frowning, looking torn between wanting to spank her some more or stop. "To get where I am today, yes, I've had to be stubborn, determined." He narrowed his eyes. "I also don't jump to do something. I think it through. Weigh the consequences."
She wriggled off his lap and he didn't try to stop her. Ignoring the pain of the tight fabric rubbing her sore bottom, she put her hands on her hips and scowled down at him. "I didn't just jump to do something, if you're referring to my deciding to sell Bessy." She blinked back tears, swallowed a lump in her throat. "I thought it was the only way to help my friends and I move on. We had to move on. Your buyer for the Rolling Hills showing up made that pretty darn clear."
If anything he only looked more frustrated. "That wasn't my fault. I didn't even know what Stockton was up to...or Arnold either." He closed his eyes for a second and appeared to steady himself. "Stockton has been fired."
She
wasn't sorry about that, but it really meant nothing to her. "Probably a wise decision. I don't think he really had your best interests at heart."
"I've sensed that for a while and should have gotten rid of him long ago. I just never had the time to deal with the problem. My life hasn't been easy."
He glanced at her again, studying her. "You don't think much of me, do you? I'm just some annoying businessman who walked into your life one day and upset your world. That's all you see, isn't it?" The man who usually sounded so sure of himself, so doggedly determined, now only sounded sad, defeated.
"It's what you did." Even as she said the words, she knew that wasn't how she felt about him now. As impossible as it was, she had fallen in love with him. But how could she ever fit into his world? How could he ever fit into hers?
He straightened his shoulders, some of the confident man she'd come to know coming back to life. "I'm a different man now, Shawna. You forced me to see something about myself that I didn't like. I'd hoped..." He stood and reached for the heavy sheepskin jacket he'd draped over the nearby stall door before sitting down. "I'd hoped you might give me another chance."
"Why? Why do you want that? And even if I did, what would it matter? I'm out of your life. We're all out of your life." Her heart ached with an agonizing pinch. All she wanted was to run back to her bedroom and have a good cry. She needed him to leave. "You can sell the ranch to that disgusting man and go off to find another business to buy and sell." It still hurt to talk about him selling the place she'd once called home. It also hurt to know he would soon be gone from their lives completely.
Cade was silent for several seconds; his expression hard to decipher. Then his strong jaw jutted out. "I'm not selling the ranch to Arnold. I'm not selling the Rolling Hills at all."
What did he mean? "I don't understand."
"I'm keeping the ranch."
"But..."
