by Kylie Walker
Chloe changed into her running clothes. She could feel the air in the condo suddenly sticking to her. It was thick and she felt like she could hardly breathe it in. She put on her shorts and tank top and laced up her running shoes and took off.
Tears slowly began to blind her as she ran. She wasn’t jogging and she wasn’t pacing herself. She ran across the beach until she reached the pavement and then through the parking lot and down the alley way. She ran like an Olympic champion at the sound of the start gun and she continued to quicken her pace until she was sprinting. The pounding of her running shoes resonated off the walls of the narrow alleyway with an echo that matched the throbbing of her heart inside her chest. The grief and the fear didn’t dissipate, but instead they seemed to become thicker and more cloying as she ran.
Chloe was miles from home before she finally had to stop. The adrenaline surge that had spurred her on was beginning to ebb and her lungs were burning like someone had lit a match inside of her chest. She stopped in a little grass courtyard alongside a large church. She had to clutch onto a tree to keep from dropping to the ground. She stood there panting and gasping for breath and almost as soon as she regained control of her respirations, she began to heave.
CHAPTER SIX
When Chloe finally made it home on shaky legs and with nothing left inside of her but the fear, she hobbled into the bathroom and leaned against the wall as she turned on the shower. She stripped off her clothes and she didn’t look back into the mirror as she slipped out the contact lenses. She didn’t want to look at herself. She didn’t want to see the fear in her eyes. She reached behind her, groping on the counter for her case. When she found it, she slipped the lenses inside of it and stepped underneath the warm water.
She stood with one hand pressed against the cool tile as the water cascaded down over her head and back. She was concentrating on her breathing now, trying to get her emotions back under control. She couldn’t let him do this to her again. He’d won once before…never again. She didn’t know how long she stood there like that, but the warm water finally started to run cold. She washed her hair and soaped her body quickly and by the time she stepped out she was feeling almost human again. She looked up into the mirror at last. She’d gotten so used to the blue eyes that the brown ones that stared back at her now were almost an anomaly. She reached for her case and slipped the blue ones back on. Now when she looked into her own eyes she saw Chloe…strong, capable, fearless…at least that’s what she wanted to believe.
Before Lexi got home to take them to work, Chloe took out her journal and began to write:
June 21
I got a message from Chantelle today. It seems that Jesse is getting out early. In two weeks he will be walking the streets and somehow I have to learn to live with that. I have to. I read somewhere that Jim Morrison said, “People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over.” He’s right; death is the one thing that everyone is afraid of.
How many times did I resist the urge to slice my own wrists while my father or Jesse weren’t around? How many times did I long to just put an end to it all once and for all? I fear death somehow more than I fear the pain that has been inflicted on me. I fear death more than the thought of Jesse finding me. I’m not sure how that makes sense…but it must be true, because instead of running straight into the ocean and allowing myself to be sucked down into a cold, watery grave, I choose to live another day wracked with fear and built around the pain. I choose to live this empty life so the only logical explanation for it can be that I fear death.
Chloe was not in the mood for this shit. Lexi had asked her once on the way into work what was wrong. Chloe had told her not to ask again. Lexi knew her roommate well enough to know that was her one and only warning if she didn’t want Chloe to tear her a new asshole. When they got to the club, Lexi headed straight for the bar. Chloe grabbed her wrist and stopped her.
“Hey, I’m just having a really shitty day. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
Lexi patted her arm and said, “Thanks, it’s okay. I hope it gets better.”
Chloe looked around at where they were at and laughed. “Doubtful, but thanks.” She left Lexi at the bar and headed back to the dressing rooms where she was confronted by at least a half a dozen well-oiled and at least partially naked asses. She rolled her eyes. She was sick of seeing so much skin. She could go the rest of her life without seeing a single tasseled nipple.
She made her way to the back where her locker was and as she got ready she let herself listen to the mindless chatter of her co-workers in order to keep her mind out of the place where it wanted to go…Jesse and his impending freedom.
“I made nine hundred dollars last night in two hours,” Jasmine was saying. Maybe Lexi was right and that was where her tips were going.
“Doing what?” Delilah asked her.
“Dancin’ fool, what do you think?”
“I’m thinking none of these cheap fools that come up in here are gonna be paying nine hundred dollars for just a dance.”
“You sayin’ I’m doin’ somethin’ I ain’t supposed to be doin’?” Jasmine asked her.
“No honey,” Delilah said in that sweet, little girl way of hers. “I’m just saying to be careful. I don’t want to see you hurt, or without a job.”
“Roxi ain’t gonna fire me. She knows this sweet ass is making her a fortune.” Jasmine had that partly right. Roxi knew full well which of her girls brought money into the club. She was a master at spotting them and recruiting them right off the street…or in a diner as the case was with Chloe. The part she had wrong was that if she was doing what Delilah insinuated then Roxi would fire her “sweet ass” in a heartbeat. Chloe kept her mouth shut. She really didn’t care what Jasmine chose to do and she really didn’t care if she got fired.
“Delilah’s just giving you some friendly advice,” Margo said, once again coming to the younger girl’s rescue. “You’re new here and sometimes the smell of the money can cause you to get carried away…and into a whole mess of trouble.”
“I don’t need y’all’s advice,” Jasmine said, “I got this,” she patted her ass with her left hand and “These” squeezing one of her boobs with her left. “I’ll be just fine.”
Chloe prided herself in being able to mind her own damned business. She had too much business of her own to mind to be sticking her nose into other peoples. Maybe it was just her screwed up mood, or maybe she was just really sick of girl’s like Jasmine having no clue at all that someday those tits are going to sag and that ass will spread…and even if it doesn’t, or you pay someone a lot of money to put them back where they go…you’re not going to be twenty-five anymore. These old perverts had no interest in looking at a forty year old woman shake her ass, no matter how good that ass may look. She heard the snort come out before she could catch herself and suddenly all eyes were on her.
“You got somethin’ to say?” Jasmine asked her.
Chloe stopped and looked at the girl. She was really spoiling for a fight, but she wasn’t going to pick on someone that she could so easily hurt. That would make her no better than Jesse. “No Jasmine. I don’t have anything to say other than what Delilah already told you. Be careful.” She closed her locker and left the dressing room. She really needed a smoke. She stopped at the bar and Lexi laid them up on the counter. Chloe reached for them and as she lifted her arm she felt something brush up against the side of her breast. She turned to see a fairly nice looking man about thirty year’s old sitting on the barstool next to her.
“Did you just touch me?”
With a smile that he undoubtedly thought was charming he said, “I’m sorry, it was an accident. Unless you enjoyed it, then I can do it again.”
Chloe smiled too and then she put her mouth down close to his ear. “Touch me again and I’ll cut your tiny little dick off and eat it like sausage for breakfast.” She took her cig
arettes, smiled once again at the shocked looking man and went outside.
She took a deep breath of the cool air before lighting her smoke and taking a long drag. She’d taken about three more drags when the door opened and Mike stepped out.
“Hey Chloe! How’s it going?”
“Well, I haven’t even started my shift yet and I’ve already threatened to cut one guy’s dick off.”
Mike nodded his head and said, “Another day at the salt mines, eh?”
“You got it. Why do you work here, Mike? You obviously don’t fit in with the swine’s that frequents this establishment.”
“Well thank you for that,” he said. “I was trying to make it on my own, you know, my own business. I rented myself out for weddings and parties. I was hoping for that one big night when a radio station producer would notice me and I’d get discovered. Five years later I wasn’t anywhere. I could barely make my car payment…but then I got noticed…”
“Let me guess…by Roxi?”
“You got it,” he said. “She invited me in for an interview which consisted of her asking me about my relationships to women. I guess I answered them all appropriately because she offered me the job on the spot. Honestly, I only showed up for the interview in the first place because she was so hot and I was hoping…”
“You are a man after all,” Chloe said with a smile.
“That I am,” he said. “But her intentions were all honorable and she was offering me an outrageous amount of money compared to what I could make anywhere else, and here I am.”
“How long have you worked here?”
“About four years now.”
“And you don’t have any desire to leave? Or do you suddenly get to a point where you realize that you’ll never make it out alive?”
He laughed. “Sure, I have lots of desire to get out of here. The motivation is lacking though since I love being able to make my car payment.”
“So even the bouncers and D.J.’s do this shit for the money.”
“Yep, I’m afraid so. But I have faith in you, Chloe. All the girls I’ve seen come and go through this place, I haven’t ever seen one as determined as you to get out of here alive. Keep your chin up and your eye on the prize, you’ll make it out.”
“Thanks Mike. I guess I just needed to hear that tonight. I better get in there and finish getting ready.”
She went back inside with a smile on her face. Talking to Mike, one of the decent guys, had made her feel a little better. Sometimes she needs a gentle reminder that every man is not her “father,” Jesse, or one of this clubs perverted, philandering clients.
She dropped her lighter back off with Lexi. She could tell her friend wanted to ask her what had happened with the dog in a suit earlier, but she was busy and Chloe needed to get ready to go on. She went back to the dressing room and was relieved to see that it had emptied out. She took out her bottle of Palmer’s and slathered it over the exposed parts of her body. Tonight she was wearing a green, one-piece leotard, cut high on the thighs and low in front. She had matching six-inch heels. When she finished putting on the cocoa butter lotion, she lightly dusted her body with a silvery powder. She re-applied her lipstick and put on a little bit more blush. Taking a deep breath and suddenly realizing she’d gone a full twenty-minute period without thinking of Jesse, she went out. She looked over and saw that there were three men seated at the table in front of her little stage. They actually hardly qualified as men. They looked like college boys. Chloe wondered whose rich daddy was paying for their night out. She started over when she felt a soft tap on her shoulder. She spun around, ready for another fight and came face to face with Roxi.
“Jesus Chloe, you looked like you were gonna take my head off.”
“Sorry, I’ve just had it with being touched already tonight. What’s up?”
“Did you tell one of my clients that you were going to cut off his dick?”
Chloe smiled and said, “Does that even sound like me?”
Roxi’s lips quirked but she had a stern expression as she said, “It sounds exactly like you. If someone is giving you a hard time, call Jake. If you’re just in a pissy mood, get over it.”
Chloe nodded. She was in a pissy mood. She also wasn’t going to let any of these creeps touch her. She wasn’t going to argue that point with Roxi right now. Roxi gave her a narrowed eyed look to show her she meant business. Chloe gave her another innocent smile. Roxi rolled her eyes so that Chloe knew, she knew, Chloe was full of shit. It was how they did things. Roxi went back towards her office and Chloe went over to “entertain” the college boys.
She winked at Mike as she walked by and held up two fingers. He flashed her a peace sign in return. Chloe laughed and said, “Peace out, Mike. I need track two.”
“Oh, yeah. I knew that,” he said with an embarrassed grin.
As soon as Chloe stepped onto her little stage, the college boys were whooping and hollering. One of them whistled and said, “Damn! I’d like to tap that!” Chloe tried to block them out as she waited for Mike to put on the music. She heard one of the juvenile delinquents say, “Hey, what’s your name beautiful?” Just as the loud music started thumping through the speakers. Perfect timing, Mike.
Chloe closed her eyes for a second and let the music pulse through her. She imagined it edging out all the negativity she’d been storing up and replacing it with positive vibes. She grabbed hold of the pole and tossed her long hair back over her shoulders. Her body started moving to the beat as she danced around the pole. As the beat got faster, so did her movements. She picked up her knee and slid it along the outside of the pole and then she arched her back and let her leg slide up slowly. She could hear the “boys” whistling and yelling vulgar things, but she tried to block them out and only concentrate on the music. With her legs in the split position she used her arms to twirl and lift at the same time, lifting her foot off the floor so now she was split all the way against the pole. When she was about three feet off the floor, she let her bottom leg wrap the pole and then she let go with her arms and let the top half of her body fall back and go into a spin.
When Chloe spun, she usually kept her eyes closed in order to keep from getting dizzy. Her ears are tuned to footsteps and her internal radar is better than most at detecting motion…usually. For some reason, she didn’t hear him coming and she didn’t feel him until he touched her. One of the “boys,” a tall, gangly thing with shaggy blonde hair and soft, girly skin had gotten close enough so that as she spun around, he could reach out and put a hand on her breast.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Chloe was shocked and then terrified and then very, very pissed off. All that rage came out faster than the little creep could blink. Chloe let her body spin again and just about the time pussy-boy thought he was going to get another handful, she was in round-kick position. The six inch spike of her heel spun around on the end of her leg and landed in the soft flesh of his side. With a grunt and a look of utter disbelief, he doubled over. A burning rage hissed through her body like a deadly poison, demanding the release in the form of violence. It was like a volcano had erupted. The fury swept off of her in ferocious waves. The wrath consumed her and engulfed her sensibilities. It destroyed any boundaries she had left.
She still stood ready to strike again as he recovered and spat out, “You fucking bitch!” He reached for her hair but she moved too fast and he only caught the tips of it before Chloe spun away. Her hands twitched and she could feel a vein pulsing in her forehead and throat. In her mind’s eye she could see this little bastard with his face bashed in and writhing in pain on the floor. He wasn’t expecting the quick upper-cut to his jaw and while he was still stunned from that, she followed with a cross that caught him on the side of the face and sent blood spewing from his nose and across the clean, shiny floor. It was like she was in a vacuum. No sound penetrated her ears.
She was in a zone and on the outside, she appeared calm. Inside the storm was rage and when he stepped towards her one last time s
he got her knee into position and drove it up hard into his groin. She heard a crunch and felt a squish as the hard pad of her knee ground into the soft sac between his legs. He fell over, nearly taking her down with him. She was nimble on her feet though. All that training had paid off.
She stepped back, still in fight stance and watched as he gasped and writhed on the floor. Blood was seeping from his nose and his hands were clutching his crushed package. He didn’t even seem to remember that Chloe was still in the room.
“Chloe! What the hell is going on?”
It was Jake. The other “boys” had left their buddy to his own devices so they wouldn’t get kicked out.
Chloe didn’t flinch. Jake’s voice barely penetrated. It was like a distant echo. He had to say her name again…twice; before she finally let her eyes dart up at him and then right back down at the boy on the floor. Her breaths were audible, ragged gasps and her mouth had gone completely dry. Sweat was rolling in a slow, steady trickle from her forehead down the side of her face. She had to let her tongue come out slightly and wet her lips before she could tell Jake, “he touched me.”
