by Kylie Walker
“How old was she?”
“She was nine. Between nine and eleven it was all about fairies.”
Chloe smiled. She never believed in fairies or Santa Claus or the tooth fairy…or even God. She’d convinced herself that if any of those things were real, one of them would have saved her from the unimaginable horrors that she was living through. She turned the page in the album. There was a picture of a younger and thinner Derek. She ran her finger over his face and smiled again. “Was this taken right after they met? He looks so young?”
“Yes,” Samantha said, looking over at it. “He met us at Martha’s Vineyard that weekend. I was always taken back by how handsome he was when I first met him.”
“So was I,” Chloe said. “I think it would be hard not to be.”
“He’s as good inside as he is out,” Samantha said.
Nodding, “I know. I’m so lucky he found me.”
“He loves you.”
“What?” Chloe felt her heart speed up just a little bit at the word “love”. Derek hadn’t said that to her and although she was sure that was what she was beginning to feel towards him, she hadn’t taken the time to evaluate it yet and she definitely hadn’t said it out loud.
“I’m sorry,” Samantha said. She must have seen the look of panic in Chloe’s eyes. “I thought you knew.”
Chloe laughed, but it was much more nervous than amusement. Does he love me? If so, what does that mean? “He hasn’t said anything,” she told her mother.
Sam gave her an indulgent smile and said, “He doesn’t need to. His actions and the look in his eye when he looks at you or talks about you, says it all.”
Chloe took a deep breath and Samantha put her hand on the younger woman’s shoulder. “Does that frighten you, Chloe?”
She nodded; surprised that she was admitting it.
“You know, when Trevor and I first brought Sarah home from the hospital I tried not to love her.”
“You tried not to love her?” Chloe repeated that. It didn’t make sense. Samantha was one of the most loving, maternal people that she’d ever met.
She nodded sadly and said, “I was so afraid that if anything ever happened to her that the pain I felt at losing you would be intensified with every hour I spent loving her. But not loving her was an impossible task, just as not loving you would be.”
“It must have been so hard for you, losing her the way you did.”
“It was,” Samantha said. “It still is. Some mornings it’s almost like it’s happening all over again because I wake up and forget. Once I’m fully awake I have to remind myself that she’s gone. But you know something?”
“What?”
“As much as it hurt to lose her I have to keep reminding myself how lucky we were to have had her, if only for a short while. I’m a different person for knowing her and loving her…just as I am for knowing and loving you. I suppose that’s where the saying “Live like you’re dying” comes from. When I die, I don’t want anything left unsaid. I don’t want anyone that I love to have to guess or wonder.” Samantha touched her face again and said, “I love you, Chloe.”
Chloe had tears in her eyes again. She hugged her mother tightly. She already felt a deep, emotional bond with her. It was too soon for her to say, “I love you,” but she felt it somewhere in her core. They were interrupted by the ringing of Chloe’s cell phone. When she went to pick it up, she noticed the time. The men had been gone for over two hours.
She looked at the caller ID. It said: Kevin Stark. Derek had put the number in her phone in case she’d ever needed anything and couldn’t get ahold of him. Her throat suddenly began to swell and her lungs were being constricted. As she pressed accept and put the phone to her ear she thought, Please God, don’t let this be bad news.
“Hello?”
“Chloe, this is Kevin Stark, Derek’s father.” His voice sounded strangled…rushed.
“Yes Mr. Stark.”
“Chloe I just got a call from the hospital up in Albany. Derek and Trevor were in an accident.”
Her hand was shaking so hard that she could hardly grip onto the phone.
“Oh my God! Are they okay?”
“All they would tell me about Trevor was that he was stable…”
“Oh thank God!”
“But Chloe, they said we needed to come right away if we want to see Derek. They don’t think he’s going to make it…”
Chloe almost felt like she was watching herself in slow motion. She screamed and the phone slid from her hand as she dropped to her knees.
Samantha rushed to her, “Chloe, what is it? What’s wrong?”
Chloe’s heart felt like someone was holding it tightly in their fist, trying to rip it out of her chest. “They were in an accident…” she sobbed, losing herself again for a few seconds.
“Who?” Samantha said. “Oh God no! Trevor and Derek?” Samantha picked up the cell phone and said, “We’re leaving now.”
Chloe nodded numbly. “We have to go, now. Kevin said Trevor was stable but they need us to come right away. They-don’t-think-that-Derek’s-going-to-make-it.” She had to force each word out. She felt like she was in a fog suddenly. There was a thick cloud that had sat right down on her and she was trying to fight her way through it, back where her thoughts were clearer and more coherent. Suddenly Samantha was at her side, taking her arm.
“Come on honey. Let’s go.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Samantha and Chloe got into the car and neither of them said another word on the thirty minute ride to the hospital, not even when they passed the place that they both knew had to be the place of the accident. Chloe could see the anguish in her mother’s eyes as the they came upon the guard rail that was shattered and they saw the tow truck with a mangled piece of metal on the back of it now in the same Marlboro red color that Derek’s sport’s car had been.
Chloe felt sick…desperately ill.
She wanted to vomit until nothing was left inside of her. Maybe if she could throw up, the pain would stop. Right now, it was practically intolerable and she could hardly breathe.
Samantha drove the car into the lot that said, “Emergency” and they both quickly got out of the car. They made their way through the sea of ambulances and paramedics wheeling patients in through the automatic double doors and they went inside. The place was wall to wall people. There were old and young and every age in between. Some of them looked sick or hurt, and others of them looked as if they’d just lost their best friend…Samantha went straight to the information desk and told the nurse sitting there, “My husband and son-in-law were in an accident.”
The only way that Chloe could tell what Samantha was feeling was by the strong quiver in her usually melodic voice. She had to clear her throat more than once, like she was trying to get rid of the lump that had gathered there.
“Names please,” the nurse asked.
“Trevor Whitemore and Derek Stark.”
“I’m Derek’s father.”
Samantha and Chloe both turned to see Kevin Stark and another man that could only be Jake. He was the spitting image of Derek, only in Chloe’s opinion, not quite as handsome. The two men were dressed in expensive suits and looked like they’d just come from a formal dinner party. The nurse punched something into the computer and then looked back up at Samantha with a somber expression.
“I’m going to get the doctor,” she said. “Please have a seat.”
Samantha, Kevin and Jake stepped away from the counter. Chloe couldn’t. She couldn’t move. She stared at the double doors that led to the back and wondered how fast they could catch her if she just went inside. Would she be able to see him first before they dragged her kicking and screaming back into the hall? She suddenly felt Samantha’s warm hand on her arm and she pulled her eyes up from the highly polished linoleum floor and looked at her.
“Let’s step over here out of the way,” she said softly.
Chloe could feel the hot tears already beginning to roll d
own her cheeks. Stop it! She told herself. It’s not time to cry. We don’t know anything. They could both be fine. Her mind went back to the vision of that twisted and burnt metal on the back end of that tow truck. If either of them walked away from this, it would be nothing short of a miracle.
“Mrs. Whitemore and Mr. Stark?”
This wasn’t the doctor. It was a police officer. Chloe wondered what he was doing here. Was he that worried about insurance information that he’d intrude on their collective tragedy?
“I’m Officer Daniels. I was first on scene of the accident.”
“What happened?” Samantha asked, still holding back the tears that were now swimming thickly in her eyes.
“It seems that Mr. Stark who was driving tried to take the curve too fast. He pulled back to keep from hitting the car that was coming up the hill head on.”
“Derek wouldn’t do that.” It was the first time that Jake spoke. Chloe saw Kevin put his hand on his older son’s shoulder as he said, “What about skid marks? Maybe the other car crossed over their line.”
“There are plenty of skid marks going west,” the officer said. He paused there and finally Jake said, “And?”
“Going east in the direction Mr. Stark and Mr. Whitemore were, there were none.”
“None?” Kevin said, furrowing his brow. “How can that be? Did Derek just not see him in time to hit the brakes?”
“I’m telling you,” Jake said, “Derek would not drive fast, especially when he had someone else in the car. He was devastated after…” he stopped there and looked at Samantha.
“It’s okay, Jake. When Sarah died he was devastated and he blamed himself. I’m sure that he wasn’t speeding either.”
Jakes eyes landed on Chloe then and for a few seconds he gave her a puzzled look. He obviously didn’t know about her or her resemblance to Sarah. Chloe couldn’t help but think that this was a hell of a place for him to find out.
“Did you check the brakes?” Chloe asked.
“No ma’am, we haven’t had time to do any of that yet. But, we will. Do you have reason to believe there was an issue with the brakes?”
Chloe looked at Kevin. He understood at once what she was concerned about and said, “Officer Daniels, I’m a criminal attorney and I’m also Derek Stark’s father. I have a hunch…but that’s all it is. Please be sure those brakes are checked out thoroughly…in the lab. Make sure every surface that is left of that car is dusted for prints and make sure that protocol is followed from start to finish. That last part is the most important, okay? Make sure it is all done with the strictest protocol so that if this case goes to court, all of the evidence will hold up and will be admissible.”
The officer raised an eyebrow but he nodded and said, “I’m sorry about your son, sir. You can be certain that we will follow protocol.” He turned back to Chloe and said, “Miss…?”
“Green, Chloe Green.”
“Miss Green, how are you involved in this?”
Samantha put her arm protectively around Chloe’s shoulders and said, “She’s my daughter…Trevor Whitemore is her father.”
Chloe could tell poor Samantha was hanging on by a thread that might snap at any moment. She needed to see Trevor and A.S.A.P.
She turned to look back towards the nurse’s station and caught Jake’s eye again. He was still staring at her, looking even more confused now. Chloe saw the nurse they’d talked to and said to Samantha, “I’ll be right back, okay?”
Samantha nodded and watched Chloe walk to the nurse’s desk and said, “Excuse me. You were going to check on my father…Trevor Whitemore?”
“Yes Miss Whitemore, the doctor will be out in just a few moments.”
“Thank you.” Chloe started back towards Samantha and she saw a tall young man in a pair of blue scrubs and a long white coat come through the doors from the back.
“I’m looking for Mrs. Whitemore!”
Samantha started towards him, grabbing Chloe’s arm on the way over.
“I’m Dr. Grant.”
Chloe’s first thought was that he looked too young to be a doctor. He couldn’t be much older than her. How could someone who'd been alive less than a quarter of a century be qualified to handle life and death situations?
“Let’s step back this way for just a moment,” he told them.
Chloe could feel Samantha shaking underneath her touch. Her own stomach was churning. She needed to see them both. She needed to see Derek alive and breathing… They followed the doctor into a small “quiet room.”
He invited them to sit down and he said, “Mr. Whitemore was lucky, considering the extent of the accident. He sustained a minor concussion, some contusions from the broken glass, and a broken femur. We’ve done x-rays and it doesn’t look like anything else is broken. He was unconscious but only for a short time. We’ll be keeping a close eye on his mental status and if all looks well in the morning, he’ll need surgery to set the bone in his leg.”
Samantha put her hand on her chest and turned her head into Chloe’s shoulder. “Oh thank God!” she said. She allowed herself a second of joy over the news that her husband was going to be okay and then she turned back to the young doctor and said, “What about my son-in-law?”
He looked from her to Chloe and said, “Are you Mr. Stark’s wife?”
“No,” Chloe said before Samantha had to answer any embarrassing questions. “He was married to my sister who is deceased now.”
“I need to speak with his family first…”
“We are his family,” she said through gritted teeth. Chloe’s composure was hanging by nothing more than a wisp of a thread. “Please, can’t you just tell us if he’s okay?”
“I was told his father and brother are here. I’m sorry, but I have to speak to them first.” The doctor was young enough that he at least looked like remaining cold and professional was hard for him. Feeling sicker by the second, she nodded and said, “Can my mother and I see my father?”
“You can go back one at a time,” he said. “The other one can wait here, or in the lobby.”
Chloe turned to Samantha and said, “Just tell him I’m here, okay? Keep me posted. I’ll wait in the lobby in case Kevin gets any word about Derek.”
Samantha hugged her so tightly then that she nearly cut off her oxygen. “I’m so glad that you’re here.”
Chloe didn’t say anything but she wondered if Samantha…and Trevor would feel the same when they found out it was her obsessed ex-boyfriend that had likely set this all in motion.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Chloe sat alone in the waiting room. Samantha was with Trevor and Jake and Kevin had gone back with the doctor to talk about Derek. The white clock on the white wall ticked like the timer on a bomb. She wished that she could turn it back and that she and Derek would be transported back underneath that tree. She would be in his arms and he would be safe.
Instead, each tick dragged her forward, helpless and anxious. Her heart seemed to be trying to keep time with the clock as it pounded against the cartilage and bone in her chest. Dread sat like an invisible demon on her chest, making it almost impossible to breathe. She could feel the sweat as it trickled a path down her back and along the sides of her face. She was powerless to stop the tremor in her hands or the way her legs shook and felt as if they were molded from Jello. The nausea came and went in waves and her head felt like it was packed with thick fog. All she could do was wait and it was making her want to kill something…or someone with her bare hands.
“Chloe,” she looked up to see Kevin and Jake coming out of the back. Jake’s eyes were red and swollen. Kevin looked all but stripped of his own composure.
“Is he okay?”
Kevin looked at her with the tortured eyes of a father who was being forced to say things out loud about his son that he didn’t want to be true.
“No. He’s not okay.” His voice caught then and he looked like he was on the brink of tears. Jake touched his father’s shoulder and Kevin took a deep bre
ath.
“He’s being prepped right now for a life flight to New York Presbyterian Hospital. He’s in a coma, Chloe. They say that he has a severe concussion and there is swelling in his brain. He’s not breathing on his own because of the pressure in there. He has several broken bones and a ruptured spleen that will have to be removed. They can’t help him as well here as they can at Presbyterian where there is a trauma unit. Jake and I have the helicopter here. As soon as the life flight leaves with Derek, we’ll be picked up and going over. You’re welcome to go with us, if you like.”
Chloe felt the slap of despair strike her with brutal ferocity. She wanted to throw up. She wanted to cry and scream and rail against God, but more than anything on earth, she wanted to see Derek. She was smart enough to know that if she gave in to her feelings and let them consume her that might not be an option.
“Yes, please. I just need to make sure Samantha and Trevor are okay first.”
“You can do that now. Life flight will be landing in five minutes and then it will take my copter another ten or fifteen to get clearance to land. Ask someone to direct you to the heli-pad when you’re finished. We’ll meet you there.”
Jake still hadn’t said a single word to her. His blue eyes seemed to just be soaking up everything around them and every interaction Chloe had with his father. If she hadn’t been so worried about Derek and so disinterested in practically everything else, it may have been unnerving. But today, she just didn’t care.
“Thank you Mr. Stark,” she said. She went over to the nurses’ station and said, “My name is Chloe Green. My father is Trevor Whitemore,” she repeated again. “My mother is back there with him. I need to talk to her and it’s urgent. Can you ask her to come out as soon as she can, please?”
The nurse nodded at her and Chloe heard her call to the back and repeat Chloe’s request. She paced a four foot square around the front of the counter until she heard the swoosh of the doors and felt a wisp of cooler air on her face.
“Chloe, is everything okay? Did you talk to Kevin about Derek?”
