by Dana Piccoli
“None of this would be possible without you two. I know we’re the Nat Chambers Band, but without you, this doesn’t exist,” she said, linking her arms through Jackie’s and Paul’s.
“God, you are so gay and sappy, Chambers,” Paul said. “But thank you.”
“Oh yeah, something else. I’ve discussed it with Oliver and he told me I could tell you personally,” she said with a smile. “From now on, we are splitting the profits of everything, from merch to tour sales, an even three ways.”
Jackie and Paul stopped in their tracks and stared at her. Just then the first snowfall of season began falling.
“Holy shit, you aren’t just making it rain. You made it snow!” Paul exclaimed.
“Seriously, I was never in this for the money, but I’d be foolish to say that I don’t realize how money can change things for people. I know it did for me. Oliver says with this album, new licensing deals and spring tour, we’re on track to make at least triple what we have in the past.”
“Well, Merry bloody Christmas to us all,” Jackie said.
Chapter Forty-Six
It was indeed a white Christmas that year and Nat’s loft twinkled with soft lights hung from a large tree she and Paul bought on the corner of Astoria Boulevard and Thirty-Fourth Street. Nat loved that particular tree stand because the sellers were two delightful young women from Montreal who brought in the sweetest smelling trees. They had to lug the tree for a dozen blocks, but she knew it would be worth it. Paul griped the whole way, but when he saw it all lit up and smelled the pine in the air, she swore she saw a tear glisten in his eye.
Nat’s parents had arrived the day before Christmas Eve and were staying at the boutique hotel down the street. Nat offered them her spare room but her mom declined, not wanting to “cramp her style.”
But now her mom fluttered about the kitchen, checking on the turkey and rice with raisins, a tradition from Nat’s Brazilian grandmother. Her father sat quietly in the living room as Eddie purred away on his lap, listening to Ryder talking about the mystery he’d always wanted to read starring a trans detective leading character. Paul and Jackie were debating what went better in eggnog: rum or brandy. Nat’s mother chimed in with a suggestion of cachaça.
Nat’s stomach growled at the smell of the food cooking, but also tossed and turned knowing that Maddy would be there soon. She had never brought a girl home for the holidays, and while she wasn’t technically bringing Maddy home, this was still the first time she’d be meeting her parents. Maybe it was the whimsy of the decorations or the sweet sounds of Christmas music floating through the room, but her heart was already soaring. She was in one hell of a Christmas spirit.
The buzzer rang and she ran to the door to let Maddy up. Maddy gently rapped at the door, and she swung it open and greeted her with a huge smile.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” Maddy said, wearing a sweet red dress that was parent appropriate but still enough to jingle Nat’s bells.
“Merry Christmas,” she said as she leaned against the doorway. “You have a key, you know.”
Maddy reached out and tugged at her festive sweater. “I know, but I wanted to make a good impression. Don’t want your parents thinking we’re living in sin.” She whispered the last word.
“Oh baby, they totally know. My mom didn’t want to interrupt our ‘unwrapping of presents,’ so they’re staying at that new little hotel down the street.”
She licked her lips. “Mmm, I love them already.”
She led Maddy in and was met with cheers from the other guests. Nat’s mother ran over to Maddy and swept her up in a huge hug.
“Finally!”
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Chambers,” Maddy said sweetly, handing her a bottle of wine.
“Oh, no, no, no. You must call me Valentia!”
“Can I call you Valentia?” asked Nat.
“Show some respect, filha,” Valentia said with a cheeky grin. “Now, come, take off your coat. Look at how gorgeous you are. Natalia, don’t screw this up. I want to keep her.”
Maddy shot a wink at Nat as Valentia whisked her away.
“Your mom was right. This nog really works with the cachaça.” Ryder lifted his cup. He had an eggnog mustache, which somehow he pulled off.
“If I’ve learned anything, Ryder, it’s that Valentia is always right. Or at least, that makes my life easier,” piped in Nat’s dad, Brian. He now had his own cup of nog, and he and Ryder raised their glasses together.
“I’m thinking perhaps we shouldn’t have whipped out the nog until after dinner,” Nat said as Jackie placed a paper crown on her head.
“What’s the fun in that?” Jackie said.
Valentia and Maddy took up residence in the kitchen after introductions were made to Nat’s dad, and they were all giggles like they had been best friends for years.
Nat leaned over the island. “You know, Mom, Maddy works in a kitchen every day. Maybe she should have tonight off?”
Maddy shook her head. “Are you kidding? Your mom is going to teach me her brigadeiro recipe. Can you believe I’ve never made them?”
“Natalia, mind your business. The chef and I are bonding, and I’m going to share my extra special recipe with her.” She turned to Maddy and said, “I used to make these for Nat when the other girls would pick on her in junior high.”
Nat blushed. “Well, thanks mom for ruining my cool street cred.”
Maddy laughed as she tied an apron around her waist. “So you mean to tell me that Nat wasn’t always a super-cool rock goddess?”
Valentia waved her hands. “Please, they used to call her Ratty Chambers.”
Nat sighed. “You snitch on someone smoking in the bathroom one time… I think I’m going to go over there and die now. Thanks and happy holidays.” She walked over to her bandmates and poured herself a cup of nog.
“So, when do you leave for Oslo?” Nat asked Jackie.
“On the twenty-eighth! Steve was so excited. We’re going to see some fjords and do a little Viking roleplay.”
“Well that sounds exactly right. And you and Ryder? What’s the plan?”
Paul sipped his nog. “Well we’re going to the Keys for a week. I rented us a little beach house. You know what he’s most excited about? Seeing those six-toed cats. Isn’t that right, Ry?”
“Hemingway’s cats are legendary,” Ryder chimed in as he joined his boyfriend at the nog station. “Besides, life’s about more than tea dances. Sometimes you need to stop and smell the key lime pie, honeybear.”
“Ryder, have I told you lately how much I like you?” Nat asked.
“Well you told me when I arrived, then when the crudité platter came out, and now. So, yes. And thank you.” He squeezed Paul’s hand.
“Hey sweetie, why don’t you and the gang play a few Christmas tunes while your mother and Maddy finish up?” Brian asked.
The trio looked at each other and shrugged. They had played some Christmas shows the year before, so it wouldn’t be that hard to come up with a few tunes. Nat picked up her guitar while Paul grabbed a small handheld drum and Jackie settled in beside them. They sang “White Christmas,” “O Holy Night,” and “The Christmas Song,” while the aromas and sounds of the holiday filled the air. She would sometimes catch Maddy’s eye in the kitchen and feel warm and tingly all over, like she’d just had a cup of mulled wine. When they were finished, Brian and Ryder clapped and hooted.
The sounds of a clinking glass rose above the noise. Valentia stood with a glass and a fork in her hand, calling everyone to attention. “Okay, folks. Dinner is ready! Natalia, open the champagne.”
After the party had stuffed themselves silly on the feast, and of course, a slice of Maddy’s Figgy Pudding Cheesecake, everyone settled into comfy chairs and couches to chitchat and drink coffee. Maddy sat with her knees slung over Nat’s lap, as everyone debated what was the greatest Christmas album of all time – The Carpenters Christmas Portrait or A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra.
Maddy ex
cused herself and stepped out onto the balcony with her phone in hand. Nat could see her through the glass door, the light of the phone illuminating a small smile on her face. After a few minutes, she put down the phone and looked out at the falling snow and twinkling city lights. Nat grabbed a throw and joined her outside, wrapping her in the warm blanket.
“Looking for Santa?” Nat asked, sliding her arm around Maddy’s waist. “I don’t think he gets to the East Coast until after midnight.”
Maddy chuckled softly and leaned into her hug. “Is that so?”
She nodded. “Did you remember to ask Santa for what you wanted this year?”
Maddy turned and looked at her, snowflakes settling into her hair and fluttering across the bridge of her nose.
“I already have everything I want, baby.”
She leaned in and kissed Maddy’s chilly lips, their cold noses rubbing against each other.
“I called my dad just now.”
“How’d it go?”
“Actually, pretty well. He was excited to hear from me. I could hear people in the background, and he put Susan on the phone to say hello. She seems really nice, and he seems happy. It was good. Each time we talk, it gets…easier?”
She nodded. “And you’re okay?”
Maddy looked out onto the shimmering city below. “Yeah, Nat. I’m more than okay. I’m really good.” She turned and smiled, and Nat’s heart melted in spite of the snow and cold.
They headed back inside and Nat’s parents were the first to call it a night. After hugs and kisses, they left for their hotel with promises of returning the next night. Paul and Ryder stretched and yawned, exposing their fuzzy bellies full to the brim. Jackie downed her glass of wine and complained about needing to pack for her trip to Europe, although it was clear she was over the moon happy to be heading to see Steve. There was a group hug before the three departed, and finally Nat and Maddy were alone to change into their Christmas jammies, which were discarded on the bedroom floor not long afterward.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Nat could never stay in bed on Christmas morning. She slipped on some comfy pants and a tank top, then headed to the kitchen to make some hot cocoa and whipped cream. When she returned to the bedroom, Maddy was spooning Eddie, her bare shoulder kissed by the winter sun. Eddie opened one green eye, yawned and stretched before promptly falling back asleep. Nat set the hot cocoa on the nightstand and crawled under the sheets beside Maddy.
“Mmm, you’re so warm,” Maddy murmured. “Wait? When did you put on clothes?”
“Merry Christmas. Don’t you want to see what Santa brought?” Nat asked with the impish grin of a child.
“Yes. Gimme one second.”
“Eddie, it’s Christmas,” Nat said.
Eddie chirped but did not share Nat’s enthusiasm. A few minutes later Maddy padded into the living room, smelling like a candy cane, and plopped herself into Nat’s lap. She kissed her neck, which helped shake the remaining sleep off.
“It looks like there’s a present under the tree for you,” Nat said and motioned to a medium-size box wrapped in colorful paper and ribbons.
“Wait, me first,” Maddy interjected. “You have to unwrap your present from me first.”
“Okay, where is it?” she asked, trying to hide her excitement.
Maddy sat up on her knees and motioned to her shirt, which was buttoned all the way up.
“You’re my present?” she asked, her face flushing.
“Well, not exactly,” Maddy motioned for Nat to unbutton her top. Nat slowly undid Maddy’s top button. “Keep going.” Nat undid the next button, revealing more of that creamy skin that drove her wild. When she got to the third and fourth button, resting between Maddy’s breasts, a necklace revealed itself. Nat took the warm metal and ran it between her fingers. On the front was an image of Ursa Major, with diamonds as the stars. On the back was written, “The night I knew I was forever yours.”
Nat choked back tears as she held the pendant in her hands. Maddy reached around her neck and unhooked the necklace and fastened it around Nat’s neck.
“I love it, thank you,” Nat said finally.
Maddy ran her hands through Nat’s hair. “Good, I’m glad. I have more for you.”
“No!” Nat replied. “My turn!” She reached under the tree and pulled out the box and slid it over to Maddy, who tugged at the strings and paper. When she opened the box, she burst out laughing.
“Crocs! You got me a pair of Crocs!” She held up the purple rubber shoe.
“You look so damn sexy in them. But that’s not your real gift, silly. Look inside.”
Maddy slipped her slender hand into a shoe and pulled out a thin envelope. Inside was a card embossed in gold and made to look like an old-fashioned plane ticket.
“Read it.”
“Good for two tickets to anywhere in the world,” Maddy read aloud. She squinted at Nat, who was smiling broadly. “I’m sorry?”
“I want to take you wherever you’ve dreamed of going. You choose when and where.”
“Anywhere in the world?” Maddy asked, her eyes wide and excited.
“Yes, anywhere in the world. Rekyvik, Tokyo, Rome, wherever you want.”
Maddy tackled Nat to the floor, smothering her with kisses. “I don’t know what to say!”
“Say where you want to go and we’ll go.”
Maddy gazed into her eyes, then kissed her slowly and deeply. “Right now, the only place I want to go is to bed with you.”
“That I can do,” Nat said just before she got lost in Maddy’s eyes.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Nat was working on a new song at the studio when a memory flitted into her head. It was like an itch she couldn’t scratch, and she knew the only way to soothe it was to do something real about it. She picked up her phone and sent a message to a number that was no longer in her phone, but one she knew by heart.
Hey, it’s Nat. Hope you are well. Are you by any chance home for the holidays? A reply came back faster than she anticipated.
Yes, I’m so glad to hear from you.
Nat paused a moment before writing. Can we meet up for coffee at the old spot? Around one?
Again, a fast response. Yes, I’ll see you there.
Nat closed her notebook, grabbed her coat and headed out of the studio.
Nat sat at a banged-up table in a cafe that would be lucky to get a “B” health grade, but she had so many memories trapped in its sticky menus and late night lattes, that she just couldn’t stop herself from dropping in from time to time. She tapped her short nails against a hot mug of coffee and watched as steam rose from the one across from her. Coffee with a splash of soy.
When the door jingled, Nat looked up and saw Lara sweep in. She tugged off her coat and sat down across from Nat. Her hair was longer now, which Nat thought suited her.
“I can’t believe the health department hasn’t shut this place down yet,” Lara cracked, which lightened the mood significantly.
“Please, if they did, I’d be out there protesting. I’d be alone, but I’d be there.” This made Lara smile.
“Hi, Nat.”
“Hey Lara. You look good.”
“I am. You look happy.”
“I am.”
Lara picked up her mug and took a small sip. “I was really surprised to hear from you. Glad, but surprised.”
“Well, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while and I didn’t want another new year to go by without talking, I guess.”
“Can…can I start?” Lara asked.
“Go ahead.”
Lara blew out a nervous sigh. “For over a year I’ve been practicing what I would say to you, but now that you’re here in front of me, the words feel stuck in my throat.”
“Take another sip of coffee. This stuff will loosen up anything.” Nat said out of kindness, knowing this wasn’t easy for Lara.
“I’m sorry feels worthless. It’s not a big enough word to express how I feel. Wh
at I did, Nat, was unforgivable. I realize now, with time and some therapy, that I was angry at you.”
“Why were you angry at me?”
“Because you had it all. The talent, the confidence, the girlfriend. The band was about you, and I couldn’t handle that. So I found a way to sabotage it, I guess.”
“In your defense, you had some help from Melissa.”
Lara laughed. “It was a supremely fucked-up thing to do, and I have no one to blame but myself. I didn’t even really want Melissa. I was just hurting and I decided she was a way to blow it all up.”
“Therapy looks good on you.”
“Yeah, it’s actually how I met my boyfriend. We met in the waiting room.”
“If that isn’t kismet, I don’t know what is.”
“Nat, I truly am sorry.”
“I know. Thank you for coming here today and telling me. At the time, I really couldn’t hear it. But I can now.”
Lara breathed out a small sigh of relief. “Good, because it’s my one big regret.”
“Really? Because I would think that Twilight tattoo you got in Cancun on spring break would have topped the list,” Nat said, raising her eyebrows.
“Oh, god. Even after very expensive laser treatments, Edward Cullen still lingers.”
“Yeah, he does that.”
Lara chuckled. “I have missed the way you make me laugh, Nat. I hope one day we can be something resembling friends again. I know that’s a lot to ask, but I want you to know that if you are ever open to that, I’m here.”
Nat took a moment before answering. “I’d like that for us too, someday.”
“I saw that you have found yourself someone pretty special. I’m so glad, Nat. You really deserve that.”
Nat smiled at the thought of Maddy. “Yeah, I got really lucky. Maddy has taught me a lot. I’m so happy for you too. That boyfriend of yours better treat you right.”
“Oh, he does,” Lara chucked. “He also happens to be a big fan of your music, so you know he has excellent taste.”
“Say no more, he sounds perfect.”
