by Bec McMaster
He reached up, brushing his knuckles against her cheek. Perry shivered, closing her eyes as if she couldn’t meet his gaze. Nothing made sense. He ran his fingertips down over her wet skin, tracing her lips.
“I shouldn’t have hit you,” she whispered, finally looking up. “I’m sorry.”
Something he’d said had struck a nerve. Garrett searched her gaze, trying to push through the anger and the hurt. When she was frightened or scared, she attacked. And he had pushed her somehow.
Ten years ago she’d run from the duke. Why? Something had happened, something awful and frightening enough that she’d never returned home.
And now she was back in the very place she’d run from.
That didn’t make sense.
“Why return to him?” Pieces started tumbling into place like clockwork. The duke coming into the guild and asking Garrett to look for her. Perry’s reaction at the time hadn’t spoken of a woman desperate to return to a man who’d once been her lover. No, that was fear, leaving her frozen and trembling on the stairs as she tried to make herself unnoticeable. He saw it now. “What did he threaten to do to you?”
“Nothing,” Perry snapped, bringing her arms up inside his and knocking them aside. A dark, desperate glint echoed in her eyes. “I’ve simply agreed to fulfill my thrall contract.”
“You’re lying.”
She stepped closer, glaring into his eyes. “The duke didn’t threaten me. I choose this of my own free will. I was born to this life. Perhaps I want to go back.”
Garrett glared back, searching for anything to tell him the truth. Now she was fighting. Which meant he had her cornered. “You always try to pick a fight when you’re upset.”
“I’m not fighting you,” she shot back. “I’m telling you what is going to happen.”
“You’re lying.”
“Damn you, Garrett.” She pushed at his chest, without much success. One fist hit him above the lungs, then another, pounding at him, pushing, even when he caught her wrists and held them trapped there, the wet silk of her gloves gripping his fingers.
Slowly the aggression eased from her. Her shoulders fell, a quiver running through her lower lip. She looked so lost in that moment, as if she barely had the strength to fight. “How many times do I have to tell you what I’ve decided?”
He wanted to be her strength in that moment. To hold her up when she was so clearly struggling. Garrett smoothed his thumb across her cheek, tilting her face to his. He was so certain now. “You could tell me a hundred times. A thousand. It doesn’t matter, Perry. I’m not leaving you behind. I’m not letting you slip through my fingers, not this time.” His hand slid around the back of her neck, cradling her scalp and drawing her closer to him. “All this time, you were there. And I never saw you. I never knew. But now I do.”
Perry froze, looking up at him hopelessly. “I can’t do this.” The words were a whisper. “We can’t.”
“I will give you everything.”
And still it wasn’t enough. He saw the longing in her eyes. For a moment, a droplet of water slid down her cheek, almost as if she’d shed a tear herself. Then she shook her head.
“I can’t.”
“I would sacrifice everything to be with you,” he told her. “Everything.”
“But I won’t.”
Garrett searched her gaze. A horrible suspicion fell into place. The only reason she could be doing this. His entire body froze, stillness leaching through him. No. “He didn’t threaten you, did he? He threatened me.”
Perry shook her head vehemently, but the diamond glitter of her eyes was its own truth. “Garrett—”
The darkness swirled within him, a vortex of sudden fury. “I’ll kill him.”
“No!” This time she was adamant. Fear flickered in her eyes as she tried to catch his wrist. “Promise me you won’t do anything foolish!”
“I’m right, aren’t I?” He held his fist up, out of reach, and she tried again. Caught it.
“Garrett—”
“You say you won’t sacrifice everything. That makes me wonder where you’d draw the line, and I know you, Perry. I know the one thing you’d never sacrifice. Me. That’s it, isn’t it? That’s what he threatened you with.”
She swallowed. And reached for him with her other hand. “He’ll destroy you—”
The confirmation shook him. No. Not this. He looked past her, into the depths of the orangery. That fucking bastard. Trapping her like this, using Garrett himself to force her back into a situation she’d fled from. He’d rip the duke’s goddamned heart from his chest—
Perry shoved at him. “No!” she whispered harshly. “No!” Hitting him with her fists, forcing him to step back, out of the orangery, which he hadn’t realized he’d entered.
Garrett caught her wrists and she twisted, fighting him, her own desperation bleeding across her face. “Don’t undo this. You can’t beat him. No one can. He’s a duke.”
“I don’t care if he’s the king!” he snapped.
“He’s the greatest bladesman in England. You barely know one end of a sword from the other!”
“I’m not going to bloody duel him,” Garrett snarled. “And I can work out which end’s the pointy one. I’m going to shove it up his ducal—”
Perry’s hands fisted in his collar, a determined expression crossing her face. She was surprisingly strong. “I won’t let you do this.”
Garrett cupped her face, stroked her cheeks, her lips, wetness gliding beneath his thumbs. “You made your choice. I’m making mine.”
“Let me go, Garrett. Please.”
Rain dripped down the windows, splashing across both their faces. A single drop gathered on the top of her lip. He wanted to lick it off, to taste it.
“Never,” he said, sliding his hand around to cup the back of her head.
His mouth met hers, claiming it. A fierce, undeniable urge to protect swept through him, focusing solely on the woman in his arms. She’d done this for him. Because she loved him. Even if she’d never said the words, she didn’t need to. Even if he hated the cause, he couldn’t stop himself from crushing her against his chest and squeezing her tightly.
His hands cradled her face as he pressed her back against the rough brick wall of the house. Perry’s fingers clenched in his coat, a breathy little mewl sounding in her throat. Her mouth was hot sin. She kept nothing back, kissing him as if her life depended on it, kissing him as if the world was going to end and they only had minutes left, seconds…
Everything that stood between them washed away in the pouring rain. All of the doubts he’d had. Whether this would ruin their friendship, whether he could stop the inevitable spiral of the craving… It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except this. Right here. Her mouth on his, tongue darting against his own, her hips undulating against him as he sank a hand into the flesh of her arse and hauled her tight against him. Kissing her, drowning in her…
It wasn’t enough. Somehow he had a hand clenched in the wet silk of her skirts, dragging them up her thighs. Perry threw her head back as Garrett ran his lips down her throat. Her pulse kicked against his lips and he didn’t dare linger, need lighting him on fire as he kissed his way down her wet skin, licking the water from her breasts.
The silk clung. He couldn’t get it off. Didn’t need to. Her nipples were hard and tight behind the silk and he bit her there, teeth scraping gently over her stays, his mouth following as he suckled. Perry gasped, hands fisting in his hair.
He sucked the moisture from the silk, heating it with his mouth. Yanking her skirts higher and higher, until he had them bunched at her waist. Behind his leather breeches, his cock raged for release.
“Hold your skirts,” he commanded.
She did, leaning back against the wall and biting her lip as she watched him go to his knees before her.
The flesh of her thighs
was ice cold against his lips as he found her drawers and tugged them down. Even they were wet and cold, but he knew there was heat here somewhere. And as his palms slid up the back of her legs, parting them, he knew he’d found it.
Garrett’s breath refracted back at him, hot on her clammy skin. One of her hands slid into his hair as she trembled and he kissed his way up her thigh, pressing his face against the small tangle of blond hair at the junction of her hips. She smelled clean and wet, and he wanted her, needed her… So much so that the ache almost knotted him in two.
“Garrett!” Perry sucked in a harsh gasp as he licked at her, nuzzling into her sensitive flesh.
The taste was exquisite. Garrett let go of control, losing himself in his need for her. So many months spent denying himself, denying her. And now, right when he was on the verge of losing her, he had this one last chance…
Each gasp he wrung from Perry’s lips felt like victory. Each time her fist clenched in his hair and she cried out wordlessly, her body folding over him. He coaxed her thighs wider, shifting one knee up and over his shoulder. And then she was his and he kissed her deep and hard, feeling the tension in her begin to tighten.
“God. Oh, God,” she cried, hips thrusting against his mouth.
He felt her shudder. That’s it. Just a little more. And then she cried out, jerking hard against his mouth as both hands curled around his shoulders.
“Garrett. Please.”
Another rippling spasm. Garrett tongued her deep, suckling on her clitoris. Perry had a hand to her mouth, biting her knuckles to hold back a scream. With her other hand, she pushed him away, her whole body collapsing back against the wall.
“No,” she whispered. “No more. Enough.”
Garrett drew back, pressing a kiss to her thigh. “Never enough,” he warned.
Her leg slid off his shoulder, and he caught it at his elbow, their eyes meeting. Then he surged to his feet, locking her leg around his hip as he kissed her.
Perry was shuddery, weak. But he felt her starting to throw off her lassitude, her hands darting down between them. The urgency in her actions bit at him. This wasn’t done between them. And it wasn’t enough by half. He wanted to brand himself on her skin—deep within her—so she’d never be able to walk away again.
“You belong to me,” he whispered, feeling those greedy little hands tearing at the buttons on his pants. “I won’t give you up, Perry. Not now. Not ever.”
His cock sprang free into her eager grip. Garrett shifted her in his arms, hooking her other leg up around his hips and shoving the acres of wet red silk out from between them. Then he thrust hard, sinking into her wet heat and moaning.
Bliss. It felt so right that he almost came, right there. Perry’s body was a tight, silken fist around his cock, her teeth sinking into his lip on a moan as he thrust again. Garrett shoved his hand out, holding them both up against the wall, his other arm locked around her, grinding her close against him.
There was nothing of gentleness in this. A claiming, pure and simple. She belonged to him, and he wanted to etch that fact on her memory so that she’d never think of another man again. Their greedy hands tore at each other, Perry’s half-drugged gaze meeting his, and then she was moaning again as he pumped his cock inside her. Little desperate pleas in his ear that drove him wild, crazy with need. Her teeth sinking into the tender flesh where his neck met his shoulder.
He knew what she wanted.
“Take it,” he gasped, dragging the knife from his belt and pressing it into her hands.
Perry let out a low moan. “I can’t.”
Garrett wrapped his fingers around hers and brought the knife up. The edge was a sharp sting against his throat as blood welled. Perry’s eyes narrowed in on his throat as blood mingled with the rain, a look of such intense need that he almost came.
“Do it,” he whispered, offering her his throat. “You want it. I want it. Do it.”
The first brush of her mouth sent a shudder through him. Perry gasped at the taste. Then her mouth suckled at his skin, drinking his blood, the sensation shooting all the way through him until his balls tightened. Garrett slammed her back against the wall as her tentativeness gave way to hunger, burying himself inside her. It felt so damned good. She owned him in this moment, could have asked him for anything. The sweet pull of her mouth against his throat was drugging. Suddenly he was fucking her, feeling the pull of her mouth in other places, desperate to sink into her flesh, as if the two could become one.
Perry drew back with a gasp, her eyes flooded with blackness. Lips consuming hers, he tugged at the pins holding her wig in place. He shoved the bloody thing aside, and then his hands were sliding through the short silken strands of her own hair.
She looked like herself again. But more. Wet and sensual and so bloody beautiful that it made his heart clench in his chest. You. It was always you.
The thought pushed him to the heights of pleasure, his gut clenching as heat flashed through his balls. Garrett groaned, pressing his face against her throat. He didn’t want this to end, because he knew that she still wasn’t with him fully. The second he let her go, her clever little mind would start coming up with every rational excuse she could find to fight this.
“Perry.” He slid his hand between them, thumb rasping over the seat of her pleasure.
Perry sucked in a sharp breath, her wide gray eyes locking on his. Her body tightened around him and then she shattered, her mouth forming a little “Oh” of surprise as she threw her head back, clenching around him, shudders racking through her.
The world disappeared, became nothing more than heat and wet and sex. Each thrust became a little rougher, more urgent. Rain spattered across his face as he ground her against the wall, coming with a harsh gasp.
His thrusts slowed as he shuddered within her. Suddenly he could feel the harsh brick rasping against the backs of his hands as he held her in place. The sting of the rain was so cold it seemed to shock him back to life. A flash of lightning lit up the sky. Garrett lifted his face from her shoulder, breathing hard.
Perry’s quivering fingers slid roughly over his mouth, her gray eyes locking on his as if she still couldn’t quite figure out what had happened. Solemn, serious eyes. He wanted to kiss the frown from her brow, make her forget all of the doubts that were suddenly creeping back in.
Garrett took her hand and kissed the backs of her fingers. “No regrets, my love,” he said hoarsely. “You belong to me now.”
Twenty-two
Long minutes drifted past as Garrett held her pressed against the wall, slowly breathing as he came back down from the heights of ecstasy, his body still tangled with hers.
“This doesn’t change anything,” Perry whispered against the skin of his throat.
His heart clenched in his chest. Garrett’s hands tightened on her. “Tell me you don’t love me,” he said and withdrew from the warmth of her body, tucking himself back into his breeches.
Perry’s eyes widened, rain dripping down her cheeks and turning her eyes almost blue. He watched the emotion evaporate from her face as she smoothly put up her walls, shaking her skirts back into place.
“I don’t love you,” she lied.
“Tell me you never did.”
“I never did… I never will.”
So blank, that mask. As if nothing could ever penetrate it. And he needed to get under her skin, to force her to fight for this too.
“We promised no more lies.” Garrett stroked his thumb over her kiss-ravaged mouth. “So I will give you my truth. I love you,” he told her. “And I won’t let you go, I won’t make any promises to go away and leave you to fight this alone.” His thumb traced away some of the wetness on her cheek. “The way you think your father did.”
Perry’s entire body stiffened. He could almost see her working through his words, deciding what she could and couldn’t deal with. It was
little surprise when she focused on the statement he thought she’d choose. “Why would you say that about my father?”
“I met him, last night.”
Another flinch. The mask was starting to slip, her eyes searching over his shoulder, as if to find something that would help her escape this, escape him. “Love has conditions attached, Garrett.” Her lower lip quivered. “I’m not a fool. I learned the hard way. My father loved me—he doted on me—but he wanted me to change. He wanted me to accept…” Her breath caught. “I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be. What the world wanted me to be.”
“Have I ever asked you to be anything you’re not?”
Nothing in her expression changed. But she hesitated. “No.”
“And I don’t think you’re giving your father enough credit. You sent him letters asking him to break the contract between you and the duke. Did you ever tell him what was happening? What you were frightened of? I’ve seen your father, Perry. He’s a broken man. He feels that he failed his daughter, and he’s had to live with that for the past nine years.”
Perry slammed her hands up, her palms hitting him hard in the chest, both guilt and rage flooding her eyes with black. “Don’t,” she warned as he staggered back a step. “Don’t you dare mention him. Don’t—” She turned around, wiping the wetness from her face as if just noticing the state of her dress and hair. “Oh, God,” she whispered. “I have to go. I have to get ready for the ball.”
Garrett grabbed her upper arm. “Perry—”
“I’m wet. The dress—” She shook herself free, panic painted across her face.
He’d pressed her too hard. Too fast. She was facing demons that he could only begin to guess at. And the first thing she did was try to put some order back into her life.
“I have to go.”
“I’m not letting you—”
“You don’t have a choice,” Perry snapped, grabbing fistfuls of her skirts.
