“Well, I’m going to go get the fish on the grill. Would you like to come supervise, Leo?”
He knew what that meant. It was code for, “I’ll get him out of there; you get your mother calmed down.” Leo just nodded.
To his surprise, Rod put the fish on the grill wrapped in aluminum. Somehow, he’d expected dried out, overcooked salmon or something. “I’ll just get it mostly cooked, brush some more of Eva’s secret sauce over it, and give it a quick couple of turns on the screen before we take it in.” The man gave him an apologetic look. “Eva really does mean well…”
“It doesn’t bother me, Mr. Wahl. Really.”
“Rod.”
“Rod,” Leo agreed. “I just know that people don’t know where to let their eyes rest. Let’s face it; pretty much every inch of me has something designed to attract attention. I can’t be offended if I get it.”
Before Rod could respond, voices in the kitchen reached their ears. “Mom, he’s just a man—a good man. Get a grip.”
“Maybe I should go…”
“No. Just keep an eye on the fish. When it flakes, brush that sauce on it and flip it onto the screen. Fifteen or twenty seconds on each side—max. I’ll be right back.”
This made Leo even more nervous. The entire meal rested in his hands, and in his experience, most people ruined fish. Lost in concentration over the fillets, he didn’t hear Allison approach.
“Sorry, Leo. I’ve never seen my mom be so—”
“It’s ok. I shouldn’t have come and I knew it.”
“Yes you should have.”
The voice came from the French doors. Eva Wahl crossed the patio and met Leo’s gaze. “I was rude to my daughter’s friend. I made a guest in my home feel awkward. I am so very sorry.”
“How about you tell me if these are ready for the sauce and we’ll call it even?”
Allison laughed. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Does to me.” Leo turned his head back to Eva. “It really is ok. You tried. Many people don’t go that far.” His hands made sweeping motions around his face and torso. “Just where can you look that isn’t covered in holes or tattoos?”
“Your eyes, Leo. I could have looked at your eyes. They’re beautiful, by the way.”
She took the aluminum foil, unfolded one side, and poked it with the fork. “Perfect. Allison, why don’t you show Leo his place at the table and serve him some salad? I’ll be right in.”
Leo glanced at Allison as they stepped into the room. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Nope. You said everything right.” Something in her eyes unnerved him, but she continued before he could pinpoint it. “Mom just went from ‘polite hostess’ to ‘welcome to the family.’ It’s what she does when she likes someone.”
That comment left him nothing to do but sit down and accept a large helping of salad. “I don’t think I understand, but ok.”
To Leo’s surprise, he enjoyed the meal more than he’d enjoyed anything in a very long time. With the awkwardness gone, he found the Wahls to be much less stuffy than he’d imagined. They laughed, joked, teased—all in a quiet manner that seemed incongruous with the jocularity exhibited. Regardless, they made him feel at home and comfortable.
As Eva served key lime cheesecake, the question Leo thought he dreaded came. “Do you mind me asking a personal question, Leo?”
He hesitated, hoping his answer wouldn’t be a lie. “No…”
“It’s nothing so terrible. I hope. I just wondered if you missed anything about your old life.”
His answer came swiftly—easily. “A sense of belonging.” He’d expected something more deeply personal. Truly interested people always managed to ask the most painful questions when they thought they were being reasonably innocuous.
“How do you mean?”
He didn’t know how to answer her. “This is so good. I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything better in my life.” He took another bite and then remembered Eva’s question. “Oh, belonging. Sorry. You see,” he continued after another bite of cheesecake, “groups like the Kasimirs appeal to people because they are kind of a family. I miss knowing there’s someone to talk to, hang out with—that someone has my back.”
“I thought you were a Christian.” Rod glanced at Allison with a look that clearly said, “You told us he was religious.”
“I am.”
“You don’t find that kind of community in the church? I thought that’s what the church was all about.”
Allison started to interject, but Leo pretended not to notice. “They just haven’t proven me yet. It takes time, in any group, to earn the trust and then the loyalty of the group.”
Eva’s indignation warmed his heart a little. “That is ridiculous. What is the purpose of having religion if people treat you the same as if you didn’t have it?”
“I’ve been asking that question ever since I met Leo. He’s a new Christian and is much more forgiving and Christ-like than people who were practically born saved.”
Leo choked on his Pepsi. Rod and Eva stared at each other while their daughter and her guest stifled guffaws and gasped for air between failed attempts at repressed mirth. At last, Eva couldn’t stand it any longer. “What is so funny about that? I think it’s sad… unless you’re saying that Leo isn’t more forgiving and Christ-like. Then I’d like to slap you for being so rude, so which is it?”
“The idea that someone was born saved. The Bible says the opposite. We’re born lost, but some people think their Christianity was in the cargo hold of the Mayflower or something.”
The joke fizzled with her parents, but Leo and Allison erupted in a fresh round of weakly suppressed giggles. The cheesecake slowly disappeared in a silent room. Eva glanced at her empty plate, sent a sidelong glance at her husband, and hurried into the kitchen. Seconds later, she emerged carrying the plate of cheesecake and cut them all second slices.
“That’s the great thing about fish for dinner,” she quipped as she slipped a new slice on Leo’s plate, “It doesn’t fill you up too much.”
“Leaves room for the important things.”
Leo glanced at Rod and shook his head. “You can’t possibly eat fish very often then. I think each slice of this cheesecake has more calories than the rest of the meal combined.”
“Exactly. This is why we serve decadent desserts with low calorie meals.”
Rod shook his head. “Don’t listen to them, Leo. Those women will use any excuse to indulge themselves.”
“Hmph.” The sound appeared, in unison, from across the table.
“These are my rooms. My dad opened a wall between this room and the spare room about six years or so ago. Now I have a kind of mini apartment in the house.”
“Guess it’s a good thing you had an extra room.”
She shook her head. “For about eighteen years or so, I heard dad grumble about all the extra rooms in this house.” She smiled. “He was joking, of course, but it was fun to tease Mom about a five-bedroom house for three people.”
Allison pulled a stack of books off a chair near the couch. “Try that chair. I’ll bet it’s the comfiest for you.”
Leo didn’t sit. Instead, he pointed at pictures on shelves and the wall. “Mind if I look around first?”
Her nod came automatically. One picture of Allison at about ten with a freckle-faced boy made him smile. “First crush?”
“That is Mikey. He’s my cousin. We were close until I became a Christian.”
“Didn’t like the new convert zeal?”
“I never said a word. He heard about it and quit calling to include me in things.”
“Why?” That idea made no sense to Leo. Even he wouldn’t have cared if a friend “got religion” in his pre-Christ days as long as the friend wasn’t pushy about it.
“My mom had the best answer.” Allison’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “She said that he knows it’s what he needs and can’t stand the internal pressure.”
“I don’t
understand your parents.” Leo’s eyes grew wide and he spun in place. “Not that I don’t like them—I do! They just seem to get it and yet they don’t.”
Nodding thoughtfully, Allison pulled her feet under her and began sorting papers. “That’s a great way of putting it, actually. They get it, but they don’t.”
Another picture of Allison with a few girls all holding martinis made him smile. “I love how you aren’t afraid to be out there with this stuff. I still run from it all.”
“What stuff?”
Leo pointed to the picture. “Drinking.” He pointed to himself, “Hanging out with dubious characters…”
Allison’s head shook slowly. “I rarely drink—don’t care for it much—and I only hang out with the best sorts of people. I like friends that I think will ‘spur me on to love and good deeds’ so to speak.”
The words made his stomach knot. She had carefully worded each one. “Well, whatever it is, it’ll be nice not to have to avoid things because you don’t trust yourself.”
A picture of Adric and Allison sat displayed prominently on a side table near the chair she’d offered him. He picked it up and examined it. “You two made an attractive couple.”
“We weren’t ever a couple, Leo.”
“Well, you would have been. Jael’s great but—”
“It’s ok. He made the right choice. I wasn’t surprised.”
“I am.” The disgust in Leo’s voice made Allison’s lips twitch.
“Thank you.”
“Why’d you do it?” So she couldn’t see his face, he went to examine a shelf of books with his back turned to her.
“Do what?”
“The whole girl-of-the-month thing.”
The sigh that preceded her response nearly made him take it back, but her answer made the awkwardness worth it. “I wanted—well, want—to get married. I want to find that someone to share my life with. I want what my parents have—just with a Christian.”
“So, you joined Bachelor House Fairbury style?” He shook his head, turning to watch her expression as he continued. “Why do that? You must have guys asking you out all the time.”
“I do.”
“Then…”
To his surprise, she began scribbling on the back of one of the papers. Intermittently, she paused, thought for a moment, and continued writing. Leo almost dreaded reading the paper, but he took it as she handed it to him and glanced over it curiously.
Tim (3)
Evan (2)
Mark (3)
Joe (1)
Jorge (1)
Wayne (2)
Peter (2)
Kevin (3)
Craig (2)
Greg (1)
Nathan (1)
Phil (3)
“Who are these people? What do the numbers mean?”
“Those are the names of the guys I can remember going out with in the past couple of years. The numbers are how many times we went out before they stopped calling or gave me the, ‘I’m so glad we’re great friends. I really need your advice about this girl’ speech.”
“Idiots.”
“I agree.”
Shocked, he turned to say something and then laughed. “I also love your sense of humor. It’s quiet, but it’s killer.” He glanced at the list again. “Well, at least some of them took a little longer. I mean, the one date guys…”
“Were kind enough to get the ‘this isn’t going to work’ thing over before I got my hopes up. The guys who waited until the third date were the cowards who went out a time or two more hoping it wouldn’t seem so offensive that way.”
“Has anyone ever told you why?” He couldn’t understand it. Were people in the Rockland area just stupid?
“It’s always the same thing. I’m great, they love spending time with me, but I’m not ‘the one.’ Well, that’s what some say. Others say that the first date is amazing, second is ok, but after that, there’s nothing there. Flat. Adric once said there’s no spark to my personality.”
“Ouch. I—”
“It’s ok, Leo. Do you really think I want to be with someone who isn’t at least reasonably interested in me? I don’t want to settle.”
“Don’t.” His voice sounded fierce. “Don’t settle for just anyone. There’s a guy out there—somewhere—who can see just how amazing you are and will love you.”
“And you’re not him. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
The catch in her voice nearly killed him. It wasn’t the first time he’d noted interest in her. Sure, he’d tried to ignore it, but it always remained, hovering in the background just waiting to remind him. He wanted to be able to say he wasn’t attracted to her—that she didn’t have what he’d want in someone. It would be the kinder thing to do; he saw that now. What seemed so cruel in men before him now seemed merciful compared to what he’d have to say.
“It’s ok, Leo. I get it. I can be just a friend. You should know that. I’m used to holding a tight rein on my emotions.”
He debated with himself until Allison visibly wilted. Unable to stand the idea of her facing another personal rejection, Leo shook his head. “It’s not that. I kind of wish it was now. It’s me. I can’t have people close to me. Can you understand that?”
“Why?”
“Anyone close to me is at risk until we know I’m not a target for the Kasimirs. I’m just starting my relationship with the Lord. I don’t know how to do both and try to keep someone alive. For that matter, I don’t think I have it in me to risk losing something or someone that close to me. No one can take the Lord from me. It’s just safer that way.”
“But if the woman of your dreams was standing right here…”
Who says she isn’t? Leo nearly choked his thoughts as he fought to keep his mind in safer territory. “I’d say the same thing to every person on the planet. I don’t want someone dying because of me.”
“That’s what you called to tell me?”
He shook his head and sat down, his eyes refusing to meet hers until he’d prayed for the right words. “No. I called about the Q&A sessions. I’m not going to stop them.”
“But—”
“I talked to Chief Varney, to Adric, and I’ve prayed about it. I saw something in a couple of those kids, and I think I made a difference. I need to know that all those wasted years can have some value now.”
“I’ll cry.”
Leo nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I know.”
Allison stood and offered her hand. “Care to take a walk? I could use some fresh air.”
“You’re not mad at me?” The only thing more awkward than taking her hand would have been refusing it. Leo wrapped his fingers around hers feeling more alive and awkward than he had in a long time.
She shrugged as she slipped her feet into flip-flops. “You’re a grown man. You can make your own decisions. I butted in. I’m amazed you’re even talking to me.”
“I don’t get you. I mean, you’re amazing and all. I just don’t get you.”
As they stepped outside, Leo realized just how much he sounded like every other man she’d ever met. “That didn’t sound right.”
“Sounded fine to me. Let me show you where I got my heart broken at age twelve.”
“Cute kid with dark hair and killer blue eyes?”
“I said when I was twelve,” she teased. “He had dark eyes, salt and pepper hair, and the cutest whiskers—until a car flattened him right there.” She pointed to a spot in the street a few feet away.
“Dog?”
“Nope.”
He tried again. “Cat?”
“Nope.”
“I don’t know what else there is…”
“Rabbit. Jesse Foley let him out of his cage, and he ran across the street… right under Mr. Wylie’s car.”
Leo couldn’t resist a smirk. “The rabbit was killed by Mr. Wylie? Was he coy with a goatee?”
“Oh, that was bad. That was really bad.�
�
“Look what you gave me to work with!”
Allison stopped and smiled at him, clearly hiding her own amusement. “My father said the same thing. Mr. Wylie had a full bushy beard at the time.”
“Figures.”
Chapter Ten
Heels clicked on tile as Trina maneuvered into the airport bathroom, dragging a small carryon behind her. She waited for a handicapped stall and stepped inside as the previous occupant vacated it. Quickly, she shed her favorite miniskirt—micro mini according to the ad—and the spandex top that she always wore with it. As Del said once, it showed her assets to their best advantage.
From the suitcase, she pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that read, “Be Transformed!” The words splashed across a grungy-looking cross. Churchification complete. Purple Converse shoes replaced the five-inch stilettos and all jewelry found its way into the interior pocket. She pulled out her phone and switched out ringtones from “I’m Sexy and I Know It” to “Do Everything” by a guy who seemed to think God cares about lipstick.
Outside the stall, she went to work on her appearance, pulling the hair into a sloppy ponytail, removing most of the eye makeup, and trading out her lipstick for Carmex. The result revolted her. Perfect.
Trina closed her eyes, relaxed her arms and shoulders, wiggling her entire body into a relaxed pose. Repeating, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,” until she felt like she must be in a prayer service, she strolled out the door and glanced around her. Come on, there’s gotta be someone—gotcha.
She punched her phone off in her pocket and then walked in her prey’s direction, frowning at it before stopping in front of a man waiting in line at a coffee kiosk. “Excuse me, do you have the time?” She wriggled her phone before returning it to her pocket. “Dead.”
He looked right at her without a hint of recognition. “Um…” He glanced at his phone. “Yeah, it’s three.”
“Great. Thanks.”
At the doors, she glanced back, but he wasn’t watching. You watched enough in the airplane. Couldn’t keep your eyes in your head, and well, we both know how that turned out, Trina mused as she walked to the rental agency.
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