by Ward, H. M.
Mari nods slowly. “Ah, that explains some things.”
After the medicine starts to work, I can barely sit up. My mind goes foggy as she patches me and then helps Sean. We both have stitches that will dissolve, but Mari tells me to see a plastic surgeon because of the length of my wound.
Miss Black would have never hired me if I had a huge ass scar on my arm. I wonder if Gabe figured out that I stuffed my bracelet in the seat yet. He’s going to be pissed. My mind swirls around that thought, over and over again. What is Black going to do when she finds me? The thought makes me shiver. I rub the goose bumps away and hear hushed tones passing between Mari and Sean.
He’s standing, towering over her, trying to pay the woman, but she won’t have it. Her slender arms fold across her chest. “No, I’m not taking your money. This was a favor.” She turns her back on him and starts to pick up.
Bryan is sitting at the table with his head lowered, resting on his arms like he’s asleep. He’s said next to nothing all night. I have no idea who he is. In some ways he’s like his cousin, Jonathan, all flash and charm, but there’s something going on with him. He seems weary, like he’s burdened by something he can’t manage. He hides it with smiles the same way his cousin does.
“No,” Sean says, following after her. “No favors. I have no idea who you are or what you’ll do. We need to reach an agreement before I walk out that door.”
Mari throws the rest of the bloody bandages in the trash and then snaps off her gloves and throws them in too. “You want an agreement? What, you think I’m going to blackmail you or something?”
“Or something.” Sean is intimidating but Mari doesn’t back down.
“Right, because the only reason to help someone is to take advantage of them later.” She lets out a long annoyed sigh as she pinches the bridge of her nose. When she looks up, determination flashes in her tired eyes. “Listen, I did this because you know someone that I once cared about. That’s it. If I saw you bleeding on the sidewalk, I would have done the same thing. I’m not going to bill you, blackmail you, or ever mention this again. If you want to pay me because your conscience can’t handle kindness, then pay it forward. Show mercy and compassion to someone for no reason and ask for nothing in return. That’ll make us square.” Mari walks to the backdoor while she talks and leans on the knob. She twists it and tugs the door open, gesturing for us to go. “Now, if you don’t mind, I need to be up and at the hospital in a couple of hours.”
Sean’s jaw locks tight. I know he wants to speak, but it seems like he doesn’t know what to say. I’m pretty sure I’m drooling on myself, I’m so doped up on pain meds. My head feels like a sandbag, but I manage to stand and walk over to her. “I like you, Miss Mari. You’re good people, and if I tried really hard, I don’t think I could hope to be half the woman you are. You’re, like, a kick-ass ninja of niceness.” I’m clutching the front of her shirt and I think my words are coming out way too slow. She takes my hands so I don’t rip her clothes off and tries to pull me upright.
Bryan appears next to me and laughs. “Easy there, Hooker Girl. I think you’re going to make the woman blush if you keep going on and on like that.”
“She’s fine. It’s just the medication.” Mari says, but I can tell I made her uncomfortable.
While hanging onto Bryan, I add, “I would have said it anyway, probably more eloquently and without the ninja part if I weren’t medicated.” When I finish speaking, my pointer finger is pretty close to her face. I catch sight of my hand and wonder how it got there. Blinking hard, I drop it to my side.
Bryan turns me around and leads me out to the car, but I can hear Sean behind me, saying something that I don’t understand. “You were too good for him.”
“So people say,” Mari replies softly, “and yet I imagine you’ve heard people say the same thing about her.” Sean doesn’t answer. “You’re too quick to judge and too slow to forgive.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“Because I was the same way. Don’t assume you know him—don’t assume anything.” She’s speaking about a common acquaintance, but I have no idea who. Before I can hear more, my head is lowered and I’m seated in the car. Their voices turn to murmurs and I can no longer hear their words above the rustling of the trees and the engine.
When Sean climbs in a few moments later, I lean into his chest and fall into a deep sleep.
7
The water is everywhere, dark and cold. Waves pelt into the sides of my face as I gasp for air, but get a mouthful of seawater instead. My limbs are frozen and I can no longer stay afloat. My neck sinks lower into the frozen ocean until my chin touches the waterline. I scream incoherently and manage to kick hard, forcing my neck up again.
Then the process repeats, over and over again, until my legs won’t move. There’s no air, only crushing waves, pressing on me, and pulling me under. My lips part to release a terrified scream that’s been building within me, but there is no noise. Water floods my mouth, choking me, as panic laces its icy fingers around my neck and presses tight.
Terrified, I yell and dart upright. It’s not dark and there’s no water. My fists fly before I can figure out that I was dreaming. I suck in air and try to untangle myself from my bed as a hand lands on my shoulder. I react and my fists fly. Sean catches them and yanks me upright so I’m standing. “You’re all right. You were dreaming, Avery.”
He pulls me to his chest and holds me. As he strokes my head, I can see sunlight pouring into the room through the slats of the blinds. We’re in my dorm room. My heart rate picks up again and I push away from him. My eyes dart around frantically. “Sean, this is a bad place to be. We shouldn’t be here. Like, at all.”
“Avery, trust me. I’ve thought about it and whoever is doing this has to be stopped. This is the safest place for you.”
“But he has a key.”
“Who?”
“Henry Thomas! At least I think it’s him. Amber gave some guy a key and he snuck in here.” I’m grabbing the sides of my head and tugging my hair. My muscles twitch as I force myself to stay still.
Sean nods and takes my hands in his. “Listen, I know you’ve had a hard night, but I need you to do what I ask you to do. We need to stop this. If it’s Thomas, he’ll show up. I have a feeling they won’t wait long. This room is small and made of concrete. It’s easier to protect you here and there are more people around. We just have to wait a few hours until night falls.”
The corner of my mouth lifts. Sean talks like he’s from another time. I lean against his chest and try to calm down. The dream is still with me, the feeling of ice on my neck remains even though it’s over. I’m encouraged to take a shower and shake off the rest of my horrible dream. I let the steamy water beat over me, careful to avoid the stitches, but I can’t stay in for too long. I need Sean. I need his arms around me and I have to hear him say that this will be all right.
After I pull on jeans and a tee shirt, I pad back to my bed and plop down next to Sean. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead. “I’m sorry for this, for all of it.”
I haven’t wanted to think about the cabin, but now that we’re away from it and I’m not in horrible pain, the images from the night before come rushing back. I feel like I’m going to be sick and press my hand to my lips as I mash them together. “I killed someone.”
“You did what you had to do. He wasn’t going to let you walk away. You had no choice, Avery. I just wish I’d gotten there sooner.”
I understand what he means, that he would have killed the man. I don’t know how I would have reacted to that either. Right now, I just want to throw up. Sean holds onto me loosely, stroking my messy hair, and wiping away tears as they silently stream down my cheek. When I’m able, I ask, “So, what now?”
“We lure the asshole here and take care of it.”
I swallow hard and try to laugh about it. “I think I had this idea a while back and someone thought it was too juvenile to work.”
&
nbsp; Sean grins. “I reconsidered. It wasn’t a bad plan.”
It was a stupid and reckless plan, which is why we didn’t do it last time. But what choice do we have? If this person can get at us through Sean’s personnel, we’re screwed. That means we can’t trust anyone. For a moment last night, I wondered if Bryan was there to finish the job. God, I’m turning into a lunatic.
I pull away from Sean, sit on the edge of my bed, and bury my face in my hands. A torrent of emotions fills my chest and I have no idea which one to react to and which to ignore. That’s been my vice—I’ll wait and deal with it later. Well, it’s later and this big fat mess bit me on the ass.
Clutching my hair in my hands, I stare at the floor and say, “What am I going to do? I fucked up school. There’s no way in hell they’re going to let me graduate, so I can kiss grad school goodbye too. Miss Black is going to be pissed and I doubt she’s going to let me walk away, not after everything that’s gone down. The other night at the hotel she tried to cover her ass and mine, and I screwed her over and disappeared. Gabe is going to take the brunt of my actions, and think I set him up at the hotel because I left my bracelet in his car without saying a damn word. Marty—I don’t even want to think about how messed up stuff is with Marty. And Mel, damn—her life is fucking over, and it’s all my fault. None of this crap would have happened if I didn’t—”
“You can’t think like that.” Sean cuts me off, as he moves in front of me and looks down into my face. There is remorse in his eyes. He offers a weak smile. “Someone really smart told me that when my life turned to shit. She’s tough, intelligent, and beautiful. And when the smoke finally clears, she’ll pull through this the same way she pulled through everything else she’s been through. We’re survivors, Avery. We don’t die. It’s like we have an illness that makes us want to endure the worst.”
I pick at the edge of my sheet, knowing exactly what he means. We had a conversation like this before, but last time it was about him. This time I feel the noose of guilt strangling me and I’d do anything to make it stop. I just want my life back and every moment of the past few days has gotten worse. My dreams are slipping through my fingers and now some lunatic is trying to shoot me.
I burst into tears in the most god-awful, snotty display imaginable. Sean’s blue eyes widen in shock because my hysteria came out of nowhere. One moment I was totally serene, like I could logically process my thoughts and the next, Snotfest-a-palooza.
Sean sits down next to me, making the bed dip, and pulls me into his arms. I babble unintelligible sentences, trying to get out the fears and worries that are stabbing my heart. My entire body feels like it’s going to die. My muscles tense and tighten until I’m ready to curl into a ball, but Sean won’t let me. He doesn’t release me, even though I tell him to. His shirt is covered in my sorrow and stained with my tears.
Sean takes my cheeks in between his palms and forces my gaze to meet his. “We’ll get through this. There’s no way in Hell I’m losing you now, so don’t go cray-cray on my ass. I don’t know how to fix that.”
His words catch me so off-guard that I blurt out a huge laugh, and wipe at my eyes. “You said cray-cray.”
“I’d say anything for you.” Sean’s voice is deep and determined. It feels like I was shoved over the edge of the abyss and have fallen into a never-ending hole, but when he’s with me, there’s ground under my feet. The sensation of falling subsides and somehow everything seems like it might work out. I have no idea how, but maybe we’ll be okay.
Sean leans in slowly with his intense gaze darting between my eyes and my lips. When he touches his mouth to mine a burst of tingles shoots through my body. Every inch is consumed with the light sensation and I instantly want more. Before the kiss has a chance to deepen, there’s a knock at the door.
Sean pulls away and puts his finger to his lips and backs into Amber’s closet, leaving the door cracked. He reaches for something in the back of his waistband before mouthing, “Open the door.”
8
My heart slams into my ribs, stealing my breath. Suddenly, I don’t want to know who is on the other side. If it’s someone I know, I don’t think I could bear it, even if it’s Henry. Maybe I’m stupid, I don’t know, but I can’t fathom the thought of being responsible for someone’s death.
You already are, the voice in the back of my head says flatly.
What have I become? I don’t want this to be my life. I want the picket fence and the little house. If I had a glittering pair of red shoes I’d be clicking the heels like mad right now, taking me and Sean out of this place. Why did Sean come back here? This was a horrible plan!
The knock comes from the door again and as I step toward it, time slows. I’m aware of the air around me, which is stagnant. The scent of stale smoke and Amber’s perfume fills my head as I reach for the knob. I can’t stand it. I want this to end, but I don’t want it to be now. I’ve had enough. My brain is so fried that I can barely hold it together. Adrenalin races through my veins making me feel like I ate a crate of Pixy Stix. I can barely stand still. As I lift my fingers for the knob, they shake uncontrollably. Voices fade away so that the only sound I can hear is my heart.
My eyes sweep the room one last time. I glance at Sean peering through the door and take in the clock’s glowing numbers blinking to 3:58pm. Amber’s PJ’s are on the floor like she rushed out this morning. Nothing is out of place, except for Sean hiding in my roommate’s closet.
Dread trickles down my spine as I pull the door open. I try to throw a casual smile on my face, but I suspect it looks like I ate a live lobster and he’s fighting to come back up. I’m staring at a guy that I’ve never seen before. He has tanned skin like he’s outside often, with dark hair, and even darker eyes. He laughs and thrusts a clipboard at me. “Sign here and I’ll bring it up.”
“What?” I blink and remain where I am, standing on my side of the threshold.
“You have a delivery. I don’t normally bring up packages this large to the dorms, but Central Holding didn’t want it. They said to bring it directly to you.” The man is still holding the clipboard, but I haven’t taken it. “So I get to carry a hundred pound box up several flights of stairs.” His dark brows pinch together before he removes his brown hat and cocks his head at me. “You did order a huge-ass package, right? A chair, couch, dresser—something like that?”
At the same time I say, “No,” Sean appears behind me and says, “Yes.”
The guy looks up at Sean and thrusts the clipboard at him. “Sign here.” Sean takes it and signs, before handing it back. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
Sean pulls me back into the room and closes the door. He runs his hands through his hair and looks at me sheepishly. I press my finger to his chest and ask, “What did you do, Sean Ferro?”
He grins—damn he’s beautiful when he smiles like that—and runs his hands over the back of his neck, stepping away from me. “Nothing. An engagement present. It wasn’t supposed to get here, yet.”
“What is it?” Sean is acting so shy that my curiosity banishes every other worry floating through my head. What would make him act like that? What the hell did he get me? For a split second, I wonder if there’s a woman in that box.
“I can’t tell you. Wait and see—it’s a surprise.” He glances at the floor and then back up at me as bright patches of red stain his face.
My jaw drops. “Are you blushing?” I try to catch his gaze, but he won’t look at me. I duck under his nose and chase him around the room for half a second before cornering him against the wall. “Mr. Jones, what could possibly make you blush?” Taking his chin, I make our eyes meet. “I’m a little nervous and very excited to find out the answer to that question.”
“It’s not what it is.” He’s smiling, laughing almost. He brushes my hand away and tries to push past me, but I don’t let him.
“Then what is it?”
His lips curl as he tries to hide the smile that’s on his mouth. He shakes his head and
laughs. “You’ll see soon enough.”
“I hate waiting.”
“I know.” I stomp my foot and look out the window. “You are not going to help him carry it up here.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I glance back at him. “Fine.” How does he know what I’m thinking? I’m still not sure if I like that he can read my mind or if it freaks me out. I decide to turn things around on him, because I can read him just as well. Rounding on my heel, I march up to him, and poke his chest. “So, a little thought occurred to me.”
Sean smiles down at me. “Really? And what’s that?”
“When did you order this?” One of my brows lifts as the corners of my mouth twitch into a cocky grin. Sean’s eyes dip to my cleavage, which is being thrust upward by my folded arms.
When he looks back into my eyes, he says, “When you weren’t looking.”
“You’re always looking.”
“Yes, I am. There’s a lot to look at.” Sean winks at me and my stomach dips. The man is sex on legs. Everything he does makes me melt.
I try to ignore the sensations flooding through me. “You’re changing the subject, Mr. Jones.”
“You’re very perceptive, Miss Smith.”
“So?”
He laughs and looks away, mirroring my pose. Sean’s tight black T shirt hugs his arms and when he folds them, I can see each toned curve. The compulsion to drag my tongue across his muscles and then slowly lick his toned chest fills my mind. “Smitty?”
“What?” My imaginary lick was inching closer to his waist by the time I blink and glance up at him.
“You have that look on your face—the one that means your head is filled with dirty thoughts.” He hooks his fingers in my waistband and tugs me toward him.
“My head is always filled with dirty thoughts when you’re around. You broke me.”
He kisses my cheek lightly. “I think you have that backwards. You were broken before and I fixed you.” My smile fades as I look into his eyes. Sean cups my face and asks, “What is it?”
