by KT Fisher
I wait for her to explain, but she doesn’t. “And?” I probe.
With a loud sigh, Drew whispers. “She caught me and Sketch.”
My eyes widen and Maci gasps so loud Devlin and Tasha look over from across the room.
“Holy shit.” Maci laughs.
“No wonder she’s pissed.” Auntie Laura catching her prized daughter hooking up with the club’s tattoo artist, in her birthday suit with an ass tattoo.
Drew nods. “I was riding the dick bicycle when she walked on in, Sketch capped himself and all I could do was wave. Sat on top of a naked man, breasts out and everything.”
Maci and I look to one another and then burst out laughing.
“Why have you not told us this?” Maci laughs.
Drew frowns, gesturing to our own laughter. “I wonder why?” She answers sarcastically.
“I’m sorry, but it’s funny.” I add.
“So, did she know the ass tattoo was new?” Maci asks.
Drew sighs, rubbing her forehead. “Oh no, if I wasn’t humiliated enough, I pointed right as my butt cheek and asked if she liked the new addiction.”
“You didn’t?!” I shriek.
“Oh I did.” Drew cringes behind her hands.
“Drew!” Auntie Laura shouts from the kitchen and Drew grumbles, turning around and walking towards her angry as hell mother.
I’m about to follow, when out of the corner of my eye I spot Dallas. She’s stood with Bomber, flicking her hair as she talks with him. She spots me and then turns back to her conversation, gripping onto his arm when she laughs.
“That girl really is something else.” Tasha appears at my side.
Sorry Auntie Laura, but I got to put a whore in her place.
Gritting my teeth, I storm on over to Dallas. I can hear the hush of the room as they sense something is about to go down. As much as I don’t like fighting, I need to put this bitch in her place. Bomber is my man and everyone needs to know it. Even as I say the words again in my head they shock me.
Bomber sees me first as I approach behind Dallas, and I see a slight smirk on Baby’s face as I reach for the skanks hair and yank it down hard. She yells in pain, and if everyone wasn’t looking before, they sure as hell are now. While Dallas tries to turn to see who has pulled on her hair, I take the advantage and kick the back of her legs so she falls to the floor. I hear laughing behind me, and Baby’s smirk has developed into a full blown grin now, but Bomber looks shocked.
“Bitch!” Dallas yells from the floor as she finally spots it was me.
She goes to get up and attack me, but I reach back and unleash one hell of a bitch slap. It lands right on her cheek and the sound rings loudly across the room. I hear some of the audience wince and Dallas holds onto her cheek, tears in her eyes. I lean in close, so she can hear everything I have to say.
“Listen bitch, my mum taught me not to kick people while they were down. So I’m going to do you a favour and let you get up, but what I’m not going to do is let you stand there and flirt with my man, trying to taunt me from across the room. I trust him completely, but this is for your benefit. If you happen to do this again, or even stand by too close to Bomber I will beat your ass to the ground.” Dallas’ eyes widen.
“With some help.” Tasha announces behind me, scowling down at Dallas.
Dallas looks from me, to Tasha and wisely decides to get up without a word and walk away.
“Damn, I didn’t know you had that in you.” Baby laughs as he walks by.
Everyone begins to talk amongst themselves again, and Tasha flashes me a wink before joining Devlin, who also looks a little proud. I’m known as the quiet one around here, I guess I surprised some people.
“Wow.” Bomber laughs, approaching me. “Is it safe to come close?”
I let out a little laugh. “Was that too much?”
“God no.” Bomber grabs me close, looking down at me. “That was hot as hell.”
He leans in to kiss me, and I close the gap. If the people surrounding us didn’t already know we’re a couple, they sure as hell do now.
“Ok everyone!” Shouts Auntie Laura as she returns from the kitchen. “Dinner is ready!”
Everyone quickly moves towards the bar, where a load of tables have been set out to seat us all. Food is plated in the middle, buffet style. Bomber holds my hand, leading me to our seats. On my other side is Drew, and as I help myself to some potatoes she nudges my side. “Heard about your little show.”
I sigh heavily. “I had to do it.”
These past three months, I’ve been hearing about Dallas and how she wants to wiggle between us. She really had her eyes set on Bomber, but she didn’t know our past and that nobody could between us.
“Damn right you did.” Drew agrees.
With a guilt full heart, I look to Bomber at my side and smile at him. I have to tell him, and it will be today. If I want to take us further, and become his Old Lady, then I need to be totally honest with him. I just hope he still wants me when he learns of what I’ve been keeping from him.
“What’s wrong?” Bomber asks.
“What?” I ask, pulled from my daydreaming. I was trying to think of how I would tell him.
“You’re not eating.” Bomber points to my plate which is still full of food. “You said you were hungry.”
And I was, we all know how I am with food, but my guilt is obviously affecting my appetite. “I’m just not feeling great.”
Super Elise, even more lies. I scold myself.
When dinner is over, everyone lounges around from their full bellies. The families with younger children begin to leave as their children have school tomorrow. The music begins to play and drinks are beginning to be poured, but I’m not in the mood. I disappear to Bomber’s room, wanting to be alone. I can’t face him anymore. I fought Dallas off today, but if I truly want to be with Bomber I need to confess and as I admit this myself, the man himself walks in, surveying me.
“Elise?” He asks and I feel shit for making him looked so concerned.
“Come and sit.” I pat the bed. “I need to tell you something.”
“Looks serious.” Bomber folds his arms but he hasn’t taken any steps towards the bed.
“Jamie please?” I ask and once I use his birth given name, his face softens.
“What’s the matter? You’ve been acting weird all night.” Bomber sits beside me and I begin to shake with nerves. “Elise, tell me what’s the matter. Now.”
Bomber’s voice is as serious as I hear it when he’s talking about club business. I turn to fully face him and swallow down my nerves.
“I’ve been keeping something from you.” I begin quietly.
“What?” He asks urgently.
“You’re not going to like me when you hear it.” I confess.
He holds me close, kissing me on the head and trying to make me feel better but I doubt anything will right now.
“Baby, nothing you have to say will affect the way I feel about you.” Bomber declares, and it’s honestly one of the sweetest things I’ve heard him say to me, but it will all fall to pieces when he actually hears what I have to say.
I put some space between us and Bomber watches me with worry. .I can tell he’s trying to figure out what’s happening here, but he won’t conjure up the reality of what I’m about to deliver.
“I’m not a virgin.” The words fall from my mouth in a rush, so fast that I take in a gulp of air after.
There’s a second of silence until Bomber lets a laugh escape.
“Darling, is that it?” He giggles.
I hold back my tears, I can’t believe he’s laughing. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because I’m ok with it.” He brings me close again. “I don’t see why you had to lie about it though.”
“No Jamie, you don’t understand.” I push him back again, this time my tears freely fall.
“Baby why are you crying?” Bomber begins to look as panicked as I feel. I begin to cry faster, I’m
half way through this but the next part is going to be so much harder to tell. “Please don’t cry babe.”
I wipe my face, trying to clear my blurry eyes. “There’s more.”
“Tell me.” He orders, all of his joking have been tossed aside. “If anyone has hurt you, I swear I’ll kill those bastards.”
“When you asked me, right here on this bed, if I was a virgin I said yes because it’s better than you finding out what really happened.”
“What really happened?” Bomber asks, patiently waiting for me to reply because I’m too busy crying. “Elise, you’re scaring me here.”
“You shouldn’t be scared,” I look up to him, “you should be repulsed by me.”
Bomber shakes his head, reaching for my hand. “That will never happen.”
But I know differently however, I can no longer lie to the man I love. For all these years I have tried to hide and forget my feelings for Bomber because he hurt me so much. When I discovered the truth behind his departure and why our contact was severed, I began to see him differently and in result my feelings started to filter through. My love for him never ended, and has only intensified as we have grown older. I can’t continue to lie to him, I have to come clean.
“One day, back at the Devil’s compound Demon and his thugs stormed in and took me away from the girls.” As soon as I spoke Demon’s name, I felt Bomber tense beside me, but I don’t stop and ask, I carry on. I’ve started now and I need to continue until I’ve finished. “He arrived with a smug grin on his face, one that I’ll never forget. I didn’t want to go with him, but I had no choice. What else was I supposed to do? The girls always looked out for me, and did their best to protect me but this time, they couldn’t save me and Demon took me to his room. He bathed me and then dried me. He was cleaning me up for himself.”
I take a little pause to look at Bomber from the corner of my eye. He’s still and his expression is plain anger. I can see how tense his jaw is and I’m afraid if he clenches any harder he will crack his own jaw.
“He raped you.” He spits out.
My sobs are loud and fall from me without care. “Yes.”
Bomber wraps his arm tightly around me and my cry harder. “He told me I needed to go on a job, he knew I was looking out for you so he had me out of the way.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t you dare.” Bomber growls out. “Don’t you fucking dare!”
“What?” I stare wide eyed. I knew he’d be pissed with me.
“I got back from the job and Demon told me he had you take a bath, it was a code around the club. It usually meant he had sex with the girl, and I was so relieved to find you in that room. I looked in and you were asleep. I thought that meant he hadn’t done anything and was just taunting me, but I see now that he was.”
“I wasn’t asleep.” I admit. “I was messed up when he brought me back to the room. Lauren was trying her best to help me and I didn’t want to see anyone. I didn’t know it was you.”
“I’m so fucking sorry baby.” He cradles me and I sob in his strong arms. “I should have saved you sooner.”
“But he would have killed you.” I grip onto him. “You had to wait for my dad and his backup.”
Bomber looks down at me with a pained expression. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“And have you be disgusted with me?” I ask. “Absolutely not!”
“Elise, I would never feel like that.” Bomber places his hands on either side of my head, looking me right in the eye as my face is soaked with tears. “Get this into your head, I love you and you could never disgust me. You’re beautiful and caring and I’m shocked you like a man like me.”
“I love you.” I laugh through my crying.
“And I don’t know why, but I accept it and you need to accept the fact that I love you. Nothing you say will change that and because you’ve told me the truth, I respect you so much more baby.”
“Really?” I ask in disbelief.
“Elise, you were raped. I hate that bastard more than ever, I wish he were still alive so I can put him through more torture than he ever gave out himself. I’m angry, but never with you.” I wipe the tear that gathers at Bomber’s eye and we snuggle into his bed.
We can hear the party as everyone continues to have fun, but here in this room we’re in our own world. My sobs still continue, but wrapped in Bomber’s arms my eyes begin to feel heavy and within the hour, I’m fast asleep. My shoulders feeling so much lighter.
***
My eyes slowly open, I can hear the party is still in full swing but the bed I am lying in, is empty.
“Bomber?” I call out, but I get no answer.
I pull the covers from me, noticing that when I fell asleep in Bomber’s arms I wasn’t under the bed quilt. Bomber must have done this, perhaps he returned to the party?
I check myself over because I don’t want anyone to see any evidence from all my crying and put on my shoes. Again, remembering that my shoes were most definitely on when I fell asleep.
“Hey Duke!” I shout as I see the man staggering to his own room. “You seen Bomber?”
“No darling.” Duke raises his drink before entering his door and leaving me to stand alone.
Duke looks so far gone that I doubt he would have noticed Bomber walking past him at all. I bet he doesn’t remember talking to me just seconds ago. Wrapping my cardigan around me, I enter the party and begin to ask around. Every time I am met with the same answer, no.
Surely someone must have seen him but the more I search the more doubtful I become and dread starts to settle in my stomach. I check the whole club house and even the outside areas, both front and back but I’m not successful. Bomber is nowhere to be found so to save myself the embarrassment, I call a taxi as I didn’t drive myself here.
As I wait, in the dark cold air, I hold back my tears and go over everything Bomber said to me tonight. He wasn’t happy at what I told him, but he said he loved me over and over. He held me as I cried and soothed me to sleep, I sure as hell didn’t think that he would run as soon as my eyes were closed. It seems I was right all along. Bomber can’t handle my secret.
The taxi arrives and I ignore all his efforts to talk to me. Thankfully he gets the point and turns silent, but I wish I could tell him I can’t talk to him because I’m terrified that as soon as I open my mouth to reply to any of his stupid questions, my sobs will escape and I will most likely scare the living crap out of him. I am a broken hearted girl after all.
I hand over the money without a word. Dig out the house keys silently and creep through to my bedroom without a sound but when I reach my room, I throw everything on the floor and bury myself under all my quilts and pillows so my mother can’t hear me crying.
Chapter Fifteen
Elise
“Afternoon my lovely.” Tasha bounces into the boutique the next morning.
I didn’t want to come into work today, but I had to. This is my dream and my career, as upset as I may be I have to be here. I can’t shut the place for a whole day just because I’m carrying a broken heart.
“Hey.” I greet her, I don’t want her to know about Bomber and I just yet.
“I’ve had to get away from Drew, she might say that’s she ok with me moving in with Devlin, but she sure loves giving me the guilt trip.” Tasha adds as she disappears into the back room. “She drones on and on about now having to live alone and that our vision of late night girls nights are now gone. I keep telling her that I’m not dead, I can still come over and I even told her that when Dev is away with the club I’ll come and sleep over.”
In the middle of Tasha’s rant, a customer approaches and smiles at me as she also has to listen to her.
“Well, we all know how Drew is.” I reply with a secret smirk to the woman before she turns to go.
“Oh you haven’t seen her today, she is on form!” She shouts back. The clinking of the spoon as she stirs the cups of teas sound, and I hold back my true emotions.
Tasha returns to the counter, two cups of tea in hand and she gently places them between us both. I hear her continuing to complain about Drew, and I probably would think it funny if I wasn’t in such a miserable mood. I pick up my cup and let them warmness settle into my palms. Blowing lightly onto the hotness, I risk a small sip.
“Elise? Did you hear what I just said?”
My attentions snaps back to my friend. “What?”
“I did say I had an idea.” Tasha answers, frowning as she surveys me and I know she’s going to see it. Her blue eyes can see straight through me sometimes, and I let her find what she’s searching for. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” I quickly reply before seeing to another customer. Tasha watches me, I can feel her eyes on me and I try to play it cool. As soon as I am free, she takes her chance.
“Don’t lie to me.”
I sigh, my shoulders feeling so heavy. “I’m not.”
“Yes you are.” Tasha leans closer and whispers. “I know you, and you are keeping something from me.”
My eyes turn to hers, begging her silently not to pursue this. “Tasha, not now ok?”
“I’m right.” She straightens. “Tell me.”
The tears sting. “Not now.”
I look around my boutique, hoping the sight of customers going about their business will help me but Tahsa grips onto me and turns me to face her. “What’s the matter, did you tell Bomber?”
As soon as she asks, my tears escape and she looks surprised. “Look what you did.” I try to wipe away my crying as I try to joke about how pathetic I look, but it’s no use. The more I swipe across my face, the faster the tears fall.
“You did tell him.” She marvels. Her absolute look of shock makes me feel so bad for leaving it so late, but then again it’s that guilt that got me right here.
“I wish I didn’t.” I sob into my hands, making sure the customers can’t see me.
Tasha suddenly claps and it shocks me so much, I stop crying. “Ok everyone, we’re closing early today.”
Customers start complaining but Tasha knows how to handle them. Their eyes curiously look to me, but Tasha directs them out as quickly as she can without seeming rude. I take a deep and calming breath in, to make sure I don’t make a fool of myself in front of them all. I’m a new business owner, I don’t want word to spread that the owner of the new boutique down the street is an emotional wreck and to beware when you shop.
