“Okay. Thank you.”
He gave her a kiss then left her to make her calls. Arranging for a private plane wasn’t something she’d ever done before, but thanks to her dad, once again, she had a credit card with enough space on it to cover the cost of the flight. Presumably, she could fly back commercial since that flight wouldn’t be time sensitive.
Once that was arranged, she finished packing, adding a few extra outfits since she didn’t know how long she’d be in Texas. She was still adding a few things to her bag when Kieran texted to let her know he was waiting out back. Through all of it, she tried not to think about what she would face when she finally reached the hospital.
She was sure that Kieran had questions, but during the drive to the airport where she’d board the private plane, all he did was hold her hand and tell her that he’d be praying for her. She was thankful for his support and strength, and it was horribly difficult to say goodbye to him at the airport when he dropped her off.
“Call me when you can, or just text to let me know how things are going, okay?” Kieran said as he gave her a tight hug. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
They kissed, and then she was leaving him behind. Once she was on the plane, Cara settled into a seat near the exit. It wasn’t the fanciest plane, but fancy hadn’t been important. What had been important was that the plane was available to get her to Texas as soon as possible.
She’d texted Doug to let him know that she was on her way and to give him her arrival information. After she’d sent that, she stared at her phone screen for several minutes, wanting to send a text to Kieran but not knowing what to say beyond what they’d already said when he’d left her at the airport earlier.
She wanted to tell him everything, and if her papa was still lucid when she arrived at his bedside, she was going to ask him to release her from her promise. She could trust Kieran, she was positive of that. She wanted to have forever with him, and it was starting to feel more and more imperative that she tell him all about herself. Where she’d once felt that she could close the door on her past and not look back, she wasn’t so sure that that would be possible anymore.
But she had no idea if she would have the chance to talk to her papa, and if she didn’t, she wasn’t sure if she could go back on the promises he’d been adamant about her making to him.
When the crew let her know that they were ready for take-off, she gave up on trying to formulate a text to send to Kieran and set her phone to airplane mode. The flight lasted several hours, and she tried to fill them by alternately playing games on her phone or reading and praying. Anything to keep her from wondering what news would greet her at the end of her trip.
When the plane finally landed, she gathered up her bags and disembarked to find Doug waiting for her as he’d promised. He took her suitcase then led the way to a waiting vehicle.
“How was your flight?” he asked after he’d loaded her bag into the back and they were buckled in.
“Long. How is my father?”
If the man was offended by her abrupt answer, he didn’t show it. “When I left him to come get you, he was hanging in there, but he hasn’t regained consciousness since you and I last talked.”
That wasn’t what Cara had wanted to hear. “Can I see him right away?”
“Yes. He’s been moved to a private room that will allow you to spend more time with him.”
“At the prison hospital?”
Doug shook his head. “I got special permission to move him to a hospice when it became apparent that the end was near.”
Cara was glad that her father wouldn’t be spending his last days or hours surrounded by prison bars. She knew there were plenty of people who would think that was what he deserved, but as his daughter, she didn’t care about what others thought right then.
It seemed to take forever—yet was probably not really all that long—to get to the hospice. The property looked more like a large home than a medical facility, and Cara found that it eased some of the tension within her as she followed Doug through the front door.
A faint scent of antiseptic hung in the air, but it faded away as she took in the homey décor. The walls were painted in soft pastels with artwork depicting various nature scenes. Some were of sunsets, others of the mountains. All of them were serene and peaceful.
“Here we go,” Doug said softly as he stood next to an open doorway.
Cara came to a stop, wishing so much that Kieran was by her side. She wasn’t sure she had the strength to do this on her own. Doug didn’t pressure her. He reached out and touched her arm and said, “I’ll go on into the room. Come in when you’re ready.”
He stepped into the room, and she was left on her own to figure out how to say goodbye to the man who meant everything to her.
~*~
Kieran knew that he wasn’t being fair taking his frustration out on those around him, but his mind wasn’t on the job. No, his mind and his heart were hundreds of miles away with Cara. He’d gotten a text from her to say that she’d arrived safely and that her dad was still alive, but that had been the previous day.
It had been almost twenty-four hours since she’d left, and he’d kind of been hoping that she’d call him. He knew she was dealing with a lot and probably didn’t have the time to call, but he wanted to let her know that he was there for her.
If she’d even given a hint that she wanted him with her, he would have found a way to request some time off to fly to join her wherever she was in Texas. Maybe their relationship was still too new for her to want to share something like this with him. He didn’t feel that way, but it was possible she did.
“Why don’t you call it a day, Chief?”
Kieran swung his gaze from the window he’d been staring out of to see Lisa in his doorway. “What time is it?”
“Not officially quitting time, but you’ve checked out already, so you might as well take the rest of the day off. If something comes up, we’ll let you know.”
It was tempting, but honestly, what would he do if he wasn’t at the office? Maybe go for a long run? That was what he usually did when he had a lot on his mind.
Pushing back from his desk, he got to his feet. “I think I’ll take you up on that suggestion.”
“Have you heard from her?” Lisa asked as he pocketed his cell phone and grabbed his jacket and hat.
“Not since last night when she texted to say she’d arrived. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.”
“We’ll keep praying for her.”
Kieran nodded his thanks. “I’m sure she’d appreciate that.”
Lisa walked with him to the front door then gave him a hug. “Have a good weekend.”
When he stepped out of the station, he didn’t linger on the sidewalk. He went right to his Jeep and slid behind the wheel. After making the short drive home, he changed into his running clothes and headed out on a route he knew would take a couple of hours to complete.
He had his phone in a holder on his upper arm playing music, but he would also hear if any texts or calls came in. The beat of the music helped him to set a steady pace and also drowned out his thoughts for the first little while. After he had settled into his running groove, his mind began to wander a bit, and the worries he’d hoped to outrun began to filter back in.
Rather than fight them, he focused on praying for them instead. He prayed for Cara, her father, and any other loved ones who would mourn his passing. He knew what it was like to lose a father. What he didn’t know was what it was like to lose both parents.
His run left him exhausted physically and mentally, but he hoped that meant that when he went to bed later, he’d be able to fall asleep right away.
It wasn’t until the next day around noon that he got another message from Cara.
Cara: He passed away this morning.
Kieran sank down onto his front step, leaning the rake he’d been using on his lawn against the railing. I’m so sorry to hear that, sweethe
art. Call me?
Cara: I can’t.
He frowned at her response. Surely she could spare a few minutes so they could talk.
Why not?
Cara: I can’t hear your voice right now.
What? That made no sense. Of course, she couldn’t hear his voice. They weren’t talking.
Cara: I need to hold it together, and at the moment, I’m not sure that would be possible if I heard your voice.
Oh…well, that sort of made sense, but at the same time, he would have preferred to have been able to talk to her. He didn’t want to make things more difficult, though, so he didn’t press for her to call him.
I’ll be praying for you. And if you change your mind about talking, call me at any time.
Cara: I will. I’m going to be here a few more days tying up loose ends.
Okay. I miss you! Did you need me to do anything with the studio here?
Cara: I’ll send an email out to everyone to let them know I’m away for a bit. I’d kind of warned them about this since my dad has been failing for awhile.
I hope everything goes smoothly for you there.
Cara: Me too. I’m so tired. I’ve spent the last two nights in the hospice with Papa. I’m going to a hotel tonight.
Kieran frowned, trying to figure out the situation. He doesn’t have a house there?
It was a minute or so before her reply came through.
Cara: No. He was living in a multi-resident facility before going into hospital and then hospice.
Kieran found that for every answer she gave, he ended up with more questions. It was a reminder that they hadn’t really known each other that long, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He just hoped they had a chance to learn more about each other soon. He still had questions about her security, among other things.
Text me so I know how you’re doing, okay? I worry.
Cara: I don’t mean to worry you. I’ll be fine…just need to get through the next few days. I was expecting this but still don’t feel like I was ready, you know?
I’m not sure we’re ever ready to lose a parent, no matter how much advance warning we have.
Cara: You’re right about that.
Kieran looked up and stared out across his lawn. He didn’t like texting. Their conversation usually flowed so smoothly, but this felt awkward and stilted. To know how she was truly doing, he needed to hear her voice. Her text said she was fine, but maybe that was just her trying to be strong.
He didn’t want her to feel like she had to be strong when it was just the two of them. If she was struggling, he wanted her to feel that she could lean on him. But maybe it was too soon to expect that. After all, from the sound of things, she’d been on her own for the past few years. It would probably take her some time to get used to leaning on someone else.
Cara: I’d better go. I still have some arrangements to make before I can take a nap.
Take care of yourself. Xoxoxo
Cara: I will. You too. Xoxoxo
Kieran sat on his porch steps, his thoughts still on Cara and her situation. It was amazing how quickly he’d gotten used to having her nearby. Whether they were at work or at home, they were only minutes away from each other.
It was a bit disconcerting how quickly he’d gotten to this point. He probably should have been a bit more reserved with his feelings, but it was too late now.
With a sigh, Kieran pushed up to his feet and grabbed his rake. It had been a relatively nice day, so he didn’t want to waste it. Plus, raking leaves gave him something useful to do while he mulled over everything.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was Tuesday before Cara finally let Kieran know that she was coming home. Much to Kieran’s dismay, they’d spent the days since she left, texting. He hadn’t pressured her to call him, but he’d reminded her each time that she could call if she needed to. Apparently, she hadn’t needed to.
He was actually surprised that she’d agreed to have him pick her up at the airport. If she’d turned him down for that, he might have started to really worry. Thankfully, she hadn’t hesitated to accept his offer.
As he drove to the airport on Wednesday afternoon just before four, Kieran worried that he wasn’t going to be able to provide the support that Cara would need. Though he’d been through loss himself, he wasn’t sure he knew how to be the comforter instead of the comforted. He and his mom had leaned on each other, both of them grieving and supporting at the same time. This situation with Cara felt a lot different.
He told himself that since he’d been in her position, having also lost a father, that he just needed to remember what things he’d found helpful during that time. He’d been worried enough about it that he’d phoned the pastor and asked him to pray for wisdom for him and comfort for Cara. His mom had assured Kieran of her prayers as well, so he was confident that God would provide for Cara even if he didn’t know exactly how to support her himself.
After he found a parking space, he headed inside. The arrivals board said the flight was on time, but since he’d left New Hope earlier than he’d needed to, he had time to spare. Looking around, he spotted some empty seats, so he headed over there to wait.
Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his thighs as he scrolled through his phone. He checked his Facebook and saw that several more people had commented on the change in his relationship status. Some of those were friends he shared with Toni.
He hoped that no one thought that his change of status had been prompted by Toni’s engagement because nothing could be further from the truth. He had to admit, though, that as his relationship with Cara had progressed, for the first time since his engagement to Toni had ended, he was glad that things hadn’t worked out for them.
He could admit now that back then, he hadn’t seen the ending of their engagement as God’s will. He’d thought that Toni was being selfish, even if she was being honest. It had felt like she hadn’t loved him enough to take a chance on a life together. After all, the odds—if you will—were in their favor. Far fewer officers were killed on the job than were not.
Thankfully, that no longer mattered. The woman his heart was focused on now appeared to not fear the dangers of his job. He could only hope and pray she would continue to feel that way.
Kieran looked up to see people beginning to gather in the arrivals area. Getting up, he made his way to look at the board again. This time it looked like the flight was already on the ground and taxiing to the gate.
Even though it had been just a week since he’d last seen Cara, it felt like much longer. He hoped that she was looking forward to seeing him and being back in New Hope Falls as much as he was looking forward to having her back.
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for the first glimpse of her. It wasn’t until he noticed another guy show up with a bouquet of flowers in his hand that Kieran realized that maybe that was something he should have done for Cara. He had never been the greatest at romantic gestures, but he wanted to do better with her. Unfortunately, it was too late for anything this time around.
When he finally laid eyes on her, his heart began to beat a little faster. He wove his way through the crowd to greet her. The ache in his chest from missing her, finally eased when she saw him and smiled.
It was a weary smile, but after going for almost a week without hearing or seeing her, it was exactly what he needed. When she was within feet of him, he opened his arms, and she walked right into them without any hesitation.
“I’ve missed you,” Kieran whispered against the fragrant softness of her hair as he wrapped his arms around her. “So very much.”
He felt her take several deep breaths before she tipped her head back. As he gazed down at her, he could see the dark smudges beneath her eyes, and her slender face looked almost gaunt. When her hand slid up behind his neck, he dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers.
And just like that, the time they’d been apart faded to nothing. They were back together, and even though she
’d felt she had to shoulder the death of her father on her own, he was there now to help her. And from the way she responded to being in his arms again, it seemed that she was ready to let him.
When the kiss ended, she gazed up at him. “I missed you too. I’m so glad to be home.”
The final bit of tension and worry Kieran had been trying to ignore released at her words. “And I’m glad you’re back.”
“I have a bag I need to pick up,” she said as she bent her head forward to rest it on his shoulder.
“Okay, sweetheart. Just tell me which one it is, and I’ll grab it for you.”
She held onto him for another minute before finally loosening her arms and stepping back. Hand in hand, they made their way over to the baggage claim area. It didn’t take too long for bags to begin appearing on the carousel, and as they waited for hers to arrive, she kept a firm grasp on his hand and leaned her head against his shoulder.
Once they had her bag, they left the airport and walked to his Jeep. “Are you hungry?”
Cara sighed. “Not really, but I know I need to eat.”
“Do you want to stop somewhere on the way home or go to Norma’s?”
“I don’t think I’m up for a meal at Norma’s,” Cara said with a weak laugh.
“After our last meal there, I’d have to say I don’t think I am either. I don’t want to have to share you just yet.” He glanced over as he put the Jeep in gear and caught the smile she gave him.
After a brief discussion, he turned the car in the direction of the closest Panera’s. It was a little busy when they arrived, but they got their table and food without too much waiting. Kieran was glad to see her eat with some relish since he’d been afraid that she would just pick at her food after her comment about not being hungry.
She didn’t appear to want to talk about her time in Texas, so Kieran told her about what had been going on in New Hope in the week she’d been gone. Not that there was much to report. They still had no positive ID on the bones that had been found, although they did say they had confirmed the coroner’s initial report that they were from a female. That meant that the possibility of the bones belonging to Sheila hadn’t been ruled out, but the detective had begun to comb through missing person cases to see if there were any other possibilities.
Because of Him: A Christian Romance (New Hope Falls Book 2) Page 18
