Okay, I did care. A lot. But how could I live with what he’d done to me? Talk about humiliating.
I went back and forth in my thinking—from wanting him to come home to wishing I’d never see him again. Mama seemed the most perturbed of all. On Thursday morning as we wrapped up breakfast, she stormed around the kitchen, her temper evident to all.
“I’m just so shocked.” She shoved some dirty cups into the sink. “Did anyone see this coming?”
Dewey and Beau shook their heads, but Jasper gave her a knowing look. “No, but it’s inevitable, Mama.”
“Inevitable?” I put my hands on my hips and glared at my brother. “Explain what you mean by that.”
“Not inevitable that he would leave you,” Jasper said. “It’s just inevitable that folks would want out of this town. I’ve tried to say it for years, but no one listens to me. Maybe now they will.”
“But why?” Mama looked flabbergasted. “I just don’t get it. I had no clue he wanted to leave.”
“Me either.” Dewey shoveled cereal into his mouth. “Weird.”
“It’s not weird that he wants to earn a decent living,” Jasper countered. “There’s no money in Fairfield, you know. No real money, anyway.”
“Sure there is.” My father reached for his wallet and opened it, revealing a couple of twenties and a five-dollar bill. “You just have to work hard to earn it, like any other respectable town. Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know.”
“Unless you happen to work for an oil and gas firm in Oklahoma,” Jasper said. “In which case it grows on trees, under oil rigs, and in the air around you.” He leaned my way and muttered, “Which is precisely why I’ve got to get out of this town and find a real job.”
I pondered my brother’s “get out of this town” comment all day. Maybe, all things considered, that was my answer. I needed to, as Jasper would say, get the heck out of Dodge. If I left Fairfield for a week or two, I could put this whole ugly breakup with Casey out of my mind. And maybe, if those WOP-pers were worth their weight in salt, Casey would be here waiting on me when I returned. I hoped.
As if operating under heavenly orders, Lori-Lou called me that very moment. I hated to share the news with her but had no choice. I couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm, answering with a somber “Hey.”
“Hey yourself.” Lori-Lou sounded like her usual chipper self. “You doing okay, Katie?” Before I could answer, she plowed ahead, her voice more animated. “Your mama called Queenie, who told all of the WOP-pers, so naturally my mama found out. She called me this morning and said that Casey, well . . .”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “It’s true. I should’ve told you but didn’t know how.”
“Oh, Katie. My heart is broken for you.” She turned to fuss at one of the kids, then returned. “I want you to come here. Stay with me. It’ll do you a world of good.”
“Ironic. I was thinking the same thing. Getting away from Fairfield for a while might be just the thing to get me over this hurdle.”
“Yes, I really think it’ll be relaxing and—Mariela! How many times have I told you not to run around the house naked? Put your clothes back on this very moment!”
Hmm. Maybe staying with Lori-Lou wouldn’t be very relaxing after all. But it would provide a break from my current plight.
“Please come,” she implored. “Stay at my place. We’re getting the AC fixed this afternoon, so wait until the morning to come, but plan to stay with me a couple of weeks. It’ll do you good to get away from Fairfield, and maybe we can figure out what to do about the dress while you’re here.”
“The dress. Ugh. I’m supposed to be at Cosmopolitan Bridal on Monday for my first fitting. They called about two minutes after I got my heart broken.”
Lori-Lou groaned. “Well, I know it’s probably the last thing you want to deal with, but what are you going to do about the dress? Have you given it any thought?”
I had, of course. In fact, I’d thought about that contest dozens of times over the past three days. Shame washed over me every time. No way could I go to the bridal shop now, not with my would-be fiancé leaving me in the lurch. What would I say? How could I face them?
Lori-Lou interrupted my ponderings. “Remember that scene in Coal Miner’s Daughter where Doo got jealous because Loretta was more successful than he was?”
I sighed. “Lori-Lou, you’ve been spending entirely too much time with Queenie. She’s rubbing off on you. And I don’t know what this has to do with me coming to Dallas.”
“Oh, everything! I’ve been thinking . . . maybe that’s what’s happened with Casey.”
“Wait . . . what? Are you saying that Casey is jealous of me? I’m not successful by any stretch of the imagination.”
“But don’t you see? You’re everyone’s little darling. You’ve won every award that Fairfield has to offer, right down to Peach Queen. You’re golden.”
“Golden?”
“Everything you touch turns to gold.”
“Puh-leeze. I work at a hardware store.”
“And everyone adores you. Don’t you see? You’re a big fish in a small pond. Casey looks at how loved you are, how you’ve won over so many people just by being you, and he feels like he can’t compete with that.”
“So I should stop being lovable?”
“Of course not. That’s not my point.”
I didn’t have time to ask her what her point was because the kids interrupted once again and she had to end the call. Still, I couldn’t stop fretting over her words all afternoon. Was Casey really jealous of me? If so, why? I’d certainly never done anything—deliberately, anyway—to provoke that.
Casey.
My heart grew heavy as I thought about him. With Casey in Oklahoma, I didn’t know how I could keep up appearances in Fairfield. Folks were already questioning . . . everything. Clearly everyone in Fairfield had heard about his leaving. If I ever doubted that, my questions were answered when I worked the cash register at the store that afternoon.
Mrs. Jamison patted my hand as she paid for her toilet handle. She leaned in to whisper, “Sweet girl. Don’t give up. I’m sure there’s a fella out there for you someplace.” Then she patted my hand again. Lovely.
Mr. Anderson was loaded with sage advice as he paid for his door hinges. “I say give the guy time to figure out who he’s gonna be when he grows up. It’s just a phase. Went through something myself before I married Mrs. Anderson. He’ll come back . . . eventually.”
Mrs. Keller had the best advice of all. “Don’t focus on what you’ve lost,” she said as she hefted a huge bag of fertilizer onto the counter so I could scan in the price. “Focus on what you didn’t know you had.”
“What I didn’t know I had?” I scanned the fertilizer and then lifted it to my shoulder to carry it out for her.
“Sure. You’ve heard the old saying, ‘If God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window’? There’s a whole future out there for you that you haven’t even discovered yet. Don’t worry about what hasn’t happened. Set your sights on what’s gonna happen. It’s an adventure, you know.” She gave me a little wink and then held out her arms. “Now, give me that bag. Do I look like a lightweight to you?”
She didn’t, actually. I just couldn’t think clearly because of what she’d said.
An adventure? In Fairfield? With 99 percent of the population reminding me every few minutes of my heartbreak? Who had time—or energy—for that type of excitement?
By the time I’d ended my shift at the store, I knew what I had to do. A phone call to Cosmopolitan Bridal was in order, right this very minute. I made my way to the restroom so that I could have some privacy, then called Madge’s number. Her voicemail kicked in after the fourth ring. When I heard her businesslike voice, it stopped me in my tracks. I couldn’t leave a message. No, news like this had to be delivered in person.
I’d drive to Lori-Lou’s tomorrow, get settled in, then head to the bridal shop first thing Saturday morning. I’d cancel all plans for the
dress. It was the least I could do, all things considered. If I let them know quickly, then some other lucky bride could walk the aisle wearing her Nadia James couture gown. My heart ached at the idea of losing the dress, but doing the right thing was definitely more important. I’d come clean. Tell them everything. Afterward I’d settle in at Lori-Lou’s place for a few weeks so that God could mend my broken heart.
When I arrived home from work that afternoon, I gathered the courage to tell Mama—not about the gown, but about visiting Lori-Lou. I found her in the kitchen making our usual Thursday night dinner, meatloaf. I explained my plan of action, doing my best to hold back the tears as I thought about leaving.
“Wait, you’re going where?” Mama looked up from mixing the meatloaf, her brow furrowed.
“To Dallas to visit Lori-Lou.”
“But Pop needs you at the store. You can’t leave, honey.”
The moment I heard those words, my heart twisted inside of me. As much as I loved being part of a tight-knit community, the words “you can’t leave” made me want to. Leave. Soon.
“Mama, I work harder than anyone I know, and I never take a vacation. Well, unless you count those four days I worked at church camp as a counselor, but that was hardly a vacation, especially when you consider the fact that I spent a full day in the ER with one of the campers who broke her ankle. I’m due a little time off, and under the circumstances . . .” My words drifted off as I pondered my recent breakup with Casey.
“Say no more.” Mama’s eyes misted over. “You need to get away to deal with your heartbreak.”
Something like that. I also needed to rehearse my “I can’t go through with this” speech for the fine folks at Cosmopolitan Bridal. But I couldn’t tell Mama any of that. In some ways, that relieved me a little. If I didn’t go through with the wedding gown thing, my parents would never have to know I’d entered that stupid contest in the first place. That fact brought me some degree of comfort.
“Well, I have a perfectly lovely idea,” Mama said after a moment of quiet reflection. “While you’re in Dallas, why don’t you go on over to Dallas Baptist University and see Levi Nash? He’ll be tickled pink to see a familiar face.”
“Mama, surely you’re not suggesting anything by that.”
“Well, heavens, no. He’s a good boy, though, that Levi. And his faith is stronger than ever, thanks to the prayers of the WOP-pers.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“Oh, nothing. Only, he’s a great catch. That’s all.”
“Mama!”
“Just saying, just saying! There are other fish in the sea besides Casey.” She gave me a look and then walked into the other room, muttering something about how she’d learned that lesson personally. Weird. Had my very own mother just suggested that I date someone else right after having my heart broken? Crazy.
Pop didn’t take the news about my leaving as well as Mama. When I told him that I planned to go to Lori-Lou’s for a few weeks, he went into a panic. Well, not exactly a panic, but his version of it. Mama told him about halfway into our family’s usual Thursday night dessert—chocolate pudding. I held my breath. My brothers all stopped eating—my first sign they were taking this seriously—and stared at Pop.
“That’s impossible.” My father pushed his pudding dish away and gave me a pensive look. Clearly he didn’t believe Mama’s words.
“She needs to get away for a while, Herb,” Mama argued. “Katie is twenty-four years old. If she wants to go to Dallas for a couple of weeks to stay with family, we can’t stop her. Besides, it’ll do her a world of good.”
“Weeks?” He groaned. “I can’t believe you’re saying this, Marie. Wasn’t it just a month ago you sat at Sam’s Buffet, listing all of the reasons why folks are better off in a small town? Now you want our daughter to go to the city—where they have snakes in the kitchens and neighbors living on top of one another? Where folks share their plumbing with total strangers? That’s okay with you now?”
“Oh, Herb, get over it.” Mama rolled her eyes. “It’s just a couple of weeks. What are the chances Katie would have to deal with snakes in that length of time? Besides, she’s already dealt with one far worse than the reptilian variety.”
Pop looked genuinely confused. I felt a little confused myself.
“That Casey Lawson is a snake of the worst kind.” Mama’s jaw clenched. “Getting my girl’s hopes up and then dashing them with his impulsive move to Oklahoma.” She mumbled something under her breath that I couldn’t quite make out.
“Now, Marie, we’ve known Casey since he was a boy,” Pop countered. “He’s a good kid, and his parents are pillars in the community.”
“Even if they are Presbyterians.” Jasper slapped the table and laughed.
I couldn’t help the little sigh that erupted. As mad and disappointed as I was with him, I knew Casey was a good kid. Er, man. He would make things right eventually. I knew he would.
Just like I would make things right with the folks at Cosmopolitan Bridal.
“I can fill in at the store for Katie while she’s gone.” Mama’s words interrupted my train of thought. “It’ll be fine.”
In that moment, I truly believed it would be. That same feeling lingered as I packed my bags later that evening. It stuck with me as I drove to Dallas the following morning. My feelings of hope didn’t dissipate until I entered the messy three-bedroom condo that Lori-Lou and her husband shared with their children. At that point, with rambunctious kiddos swarming me, their shrill voices echoing off the Sheetrock in the small space, I wondered if perhaps I’d made a mistake.
“Aunt Katie, Aunt Katie!” Four-year-old Mariela jumped up and down, then wrapped her arms around my right thigh.
The youngest, Joshie, wrapped himself around my left ankle and tried to ride it like a pony. This left little room for Gilly, the two-and-a-half-year-old, but that didn’t stop her. She attempted to propel herself into my arms, nearly knocking me over in the process.
“Well, hello, strangers.” I laughed and then knelt down to give them all hugs. “I’m going to be your roomie for the next couple of weeks.”
“What’s a roomie?” Gilly asked.
“It means she’s going to stay with us.” Mariela put chubby hands on her hips and spoke to her younger sister in a know-it-all voice. “Maybe forever!”
“Yes, I’m staying with you,” I said. “But not forever.” When Mariela pouted I added, “But Aunt Katie is going to have a lot of fun with her babies. Pinkie promise!” I held out my pinkie and she grabbed it with hers.
“I hope so.” Lori-Lou chuckled. “Let me start by apologizing. I’m so sorry you have to share a room with the baby.” My cousin’s nose wrinkled. “But he’s the quietest of the three, if that makes you feel any better. And I’m pretty sure these two girls would drive you crazy if you bunked with them.”
“I’ll do just fine,” I said. My words were meant to convince myself as well as Lori-Lou. “And I’m sure the blow-up mattress will be comfortable.” I hope.
I couldn’t help but smile at the kids. Mariela looked adorable with her cute little pigtails and freckled nose. She had that impish look that rotten children often have, the one that says, “I’m secretly up to no good.” Still, no one could deny her outward beauty. Gilly, on the other hand, made me laugh just looking at her. For one thing, her shirt was inside out. And her socks didn’t match.
“Please ignore the way she looks.” Lori-Lou gestured to Gilly. “She didn’t start out the day looking like this. She’s changed clothes four times already.”
“She looks cute,” I countered.
“Hmm.” Lori-Lou pointed at her daughter’s feet. “See those socks she has on?”
I glanced down and nodded.
“One of them is mine,” Lori-Lou said. “The other one is the baby’s. And you don’t even want to know whose underwear she’s wearing. Worst part is, she’s not potty trained, so she won’t be wearing the underwear for long. They’ll be soppin
g wet in a matter of minutes. I’ve never seen a kid go through as many panties as this one.”
Okay then. Welcome to the big city, Katie Sue. This is what you’ve been missing.
Still, baby Joshie was adorable. I swept the little one into my arms and held him close . . . until I realized he had on a stinky diaper. Then I passed him right back to his mother.
Lori-Lou bounced him on her hip as if he didn’t smell at all. “Josh has a couple of vacation days coming. He says he’ll watch the kids so we can have some girl time.” My cousin’s eyes flooded. “I love that man. He’s so great.”
Terrific. True love. Nothing like a little salt in an open wound.
Lori-Lou must’ve realized she’d struck a nerve. “I’m sorry, Katie. But if it makes you feel any better, we spend about half the time arguing about, well, everything. The man drives me out of my ever-lovin’ mind, but I love him. I really do.”
Well, wonderful. While I wasn’t pining away for Casey, I’d enjoy listening to my cousin and her husband argue. And then watch them kiss and make up. Perfect way to get over a breakup.
She shifted the baby to her other hip, and the stench from his diaper permeated the room. “Anyway, I hate to bring up a sore subject, but what did you decide to do about the wedding gown?”
Was she kidding? What else could I do? “I can’t go through with it. Not now.”
“You’re going to tell them?”
I sighed and nodded. “Don’t have any choice. I was hoping you’d go with me tomorrow. What do you think?”
“Tomorrow?” She hesitated. “I think I’d better make sure Josh can watch the kids. Otherwise we’ll have a fiasco on our hands if we have to take these three into the swankiest bridal shop in town.”
“In the state,” I corrected her.
“In the country.” She laughed. “Which is precisely why I can never, under any circumstances, take any of these three—Mariela! Don’t you dare use those markers on my new coffee table! We’ve talked about this a hundred times.” She raced across the room and grabbed the markers from the four-year-old, who burst into tears. About three minutes into the emotional tirade, Lori-Lou glanced my way. “Sorry!” she hollered above the din. “Welcome to my world, Katie.”
Every Bride Needs a Groom Page 6
