by Bella Jewel
“I’m real sorry, darlin’.”
I shake my head, standing. “I just...I need to go for a walk.”
I turn before he can answer, and I rush out of the room.
“Meadow,” Axel calls, but I don’t stop.
The minute I get outside, I fall to my knees and I cry.
CHAPTER 22
MEADOW
When will you break, how much more can I take?
I see the flashing blue and red lights long before it registers. The minute it does register, though, I am scrambling to my feet and running inside the clubhouse. I’m not stupid; I know cops are never a good thing. I skid into the main area, and shove past people, running down to Axel’s office. The minute I swing the door open, I see him. He gets up, his eyes fierce as they search my expression. Then he grates out, “What’s wrong?”
“Cops.”
“Fuck!”
He tears past me, and runs out into the hall. “Boys in blue, make sure nothin’ can be found. Move!” he roars.
The men kick into gear, suddenly sobering, and running down the halls. They’re moving things quickly, barking orders at each other. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. One moment, they’re men fucking women against counters; the next, they’re up and running, fully alert, ready for action. Axel disappears down the hall, and comes back a moment later with something clutched in his hands. He takes my arm, pulling me into a nearby room.
“Need you to do somethin’ for me. It ain’t real nice, darlin’, but I need you to do it all the same.”
“What?” I ask, feeling my eyes darting around frantically.
He opens his hand to reveal the USB and a condom. What the hell?
“Need you to put this...”
His voice trails off, and his eyes flash with desperation. It clicks to me then, and I gasp. “You want me to insert that into myself.”
“If they search us, Cricket, they’ll search this entire place, including me.”
“They can’t just search you,” I protest.
“They’re cops—they do whatever the fuck they want to the club. They’ve been out to get a warrant for long enough that they’ve probably got one. But to you...you have rights. They can’t touch you without permission, and if they come looking in here...for this...they won’t be able to find it if it’s on you.”
I shake my head, trying to process what he’s just said. I lift my eyes, and nod quickly. I don’t really have time to argue. I don’t want just anyone to get hold of that USB. I’ve not finished piecing the story together yet, and until I do, I don’t want it taken. I’ll do it, no matter how awkward. Axel nods his head toward a bed, and I scurry over.
“You want me to?” he asks.
“Um, yeah.”
I take my shorts off, and heat floods into my cheeks. I lay back, trying to think of anything else. I feel like a drug smuggler, and it takes a lot to lie still while Axel unwraps the condom, and puts the USB inside it. Then he kneels in front of me. His eyes connect with mine for a moment, reassuring me, and then he gently parts my folds. “You ok baby?” he asks.
“Just do it, Axel.”
He slips the USB inside me, just enough that it sits much like a tampon would. Part of the condom hangs from my depths, and I feel sick that I’m here, smuggling information in my goddamned private areas. It’s not easy to process, and it’s certainly not easy to lie through. I’m hiding something, just in case the club gets raided. That’s basically what’s happening, only I’m hiding it in a part of my body that is really not awesome.
“I’m real sorry...”
“Just don’t,” I whisper, putting my hand up as I pull myself up and yank my shorts up. I can feel a pressure down below, and I want to scream.
“Meadow¸ I know a lot of shit has happened today, and you’re tryin’ to deal with it all, but after this...I wanna finish it. Once and for all.”
I meet his gaze. He’s staring at me with a firm expression.
“Can we just deal with what’s happening right now?” I ask.
He nods, and we walk out of the room. Cobra stops in front of Axel the minute we reach the front door.
“Bud, I don’t know if you’re gonna like this...”
I hear the skid of tires, and the distinct sound of doors slamming outside.
“Don’t have time,” Axel mutters to Colt. “You got that girl secured?”
“She’s secured. Ain’t gonna talk.”
“Right, then let’s deal with this shit.”
We walk out front, and I see three cops standing in front of the car, all decked out in blue, hands on their guns as if they’re expecting to get shot at. I narrow my eyes, and stare at the one in the middle. He’s tall, and extremely handsome. I mean, the kind of handsome that takes your breath away. He’s got emerald-green eyes, and dark, messy hair. He’s bigger in build, with wide shoulders and long, sinewy arms. I drag my eyes away from him, and notice that Axel has stopped moving.
I turn to stare at him. His mouth is slightly agape and his fists are clenched. I didn’t pick Axel to be one that was intimidated by cops, yet something about his stance is saying he’s shocked, confused, worried. I look back toward the cop who is walking forward, his eyes pinning Axel. He’s scary, and not even in the kind of way that is bad, or dangerous. He’s just leaking dominance, like he’s the kind of man that could bark one word, and you’d crumble.
“Axel, my boy, how are you?”
I’m confused. Axel knows him?
“The fuck are you doin’ here?” Axel breathes, clenching his fists so tightly his knuckles are white. He steps in front of me. I hear shuffling behind me, and imagine the guys are lined up to show their support to their president.
“I got transferred. Thought I’d pay you a visit. Let you know I’m in town.”
Axel doesn’t say anything.
“What?” the cop says, stepping forward with a grin. “You’re not goin’ to give your old dad a hug?”
I feel like I’m going to pass out.
Did he just say...dad?
Silence falls behind me, and it sounds almost like the guys have stopped breathing. I guess they didn’t know Axel’s father is a cop. Oh my God, he’s a fucking cop.
“I got nothin’ to say to you, but fuck off,” Axel hisses. “This is my grounds, and unless you got somethin’ you need, old man, then you can get the fuck off my lot.”
The man grins, and tilts his head, looking behind Axel and connecting eyes with me. He seems familiar, somehow, but maybe that’s just because he looks a little like Axel.
“Meadow, long time no see.”
What? My mind is spinning now. I’ve never met this man before. How the hell does he know my name?
“Step back, and don’t you fuckin’ speak to her,” Axel snarls.
“Don’t be like that, boy. I have a right to speak to her. You know you can’t stop me.”
Why does he want to speak to me?
“Step around here, Meadow. Let me see you.”
I look up at Axel when he glances down at me, unsure what I’m supposed to do. He nods, and I step around him, trying to avoid walking funny. I stop in front of the big man, and he smiles warmly down at me, but there’s something tricky lying behind that smile. He extends his hand, and I hesitate, staring down at his long fingers for a long moment.
“I don’t bite,” he assures me.
I reach out, and put my hand in his. He curls his fingers around mine, and shakes my hand. “I know you don’t remember me, but I’m Raide.”
My head snaps up, and my eyes widen. He chuckles.
“So you have heard of me? I believe you had something for me, though I imagine my son, here, has convinced you not to give it to me.”
The USB. This is the Raide my father wanted me to give the information to? Raide is Axel’s father...I don’t...I don’t understand.
“I don’t know you,” I say in a small voice.
“No, you wouldn’t remember me. You were only young. We nee
d to talk, Meadow.”
“You can refuse him, Cricket,” Axel says from behind me. “You don’t owe him nothin’.”
Raide looks up at Axel, and his eyes harden. “Now, don’t make her mind up for her, boy. This ain’t your business.”
“It is my fuckin’ business. You’re on my soil.”
Raide chuckles. “I see nothing changes.”
I look between the two, confused. I honestly don’t know what’s going down, but I don’t want to be a part of it.
“I’m not going to stick around here pressuring you. But I do need to speak with you, Meadow. I have a lot of answers to your questions. You call me, when you have time,” he says, tucking his hand into his pocket and bringing out a card. He hands it to me, and I take it.
“You done?” Axel barks.
Raide lifts his eyes, and for a moment, I see a look of longing. I don’t know what went down between the two but whatever it is, it was bad. I look at Axel, and I’m angry he lied to me. He told me Raide was dead. Why would he tell me that? I don’t understand it, but right now, I’m trying to process so much information I just can’t do it all right now. Raide calls his boys back to their cars, and with one last look at Axel, they drive away.
Axel turns back to the guys, and his eyes harden. “It ain’t your fuckin’ concern, and I ain’t discussing it.”
Then he walks inside, not giving anyone the chance to argue.
~*~*~*~
AXEL
“Don’t fuckin’ start on me, Cobra,” I hiss, storming down the hall.
“You knew the boys were goin’ to find out eventually, Pres...”
“Yeah, and that cunt showing up wasn’t how it was meant to go down.”
He grips my shoulder, and I spin around, lashing out at him, and slamming him against the nearest wall. “Don’t you fuckin’ put your hands on me.”
“They’re good with it, Pres,” he grunts. “They’ve got your back.”
I search his face, and then shove him back, letting him go. He rubs his throat where his shirt pressed against his skin. I shoot him one more glare before retreating to my office, and slamming the door. He doesn’t follow me, but the minute I sit down, the door swings open and Meadow walks in. She’s staring at me with eyes that are all betrayed and angry.
“You lied to me,” she whispers.
I clench my jaw. “Wasn’t your business, Meadow.”
“You. Lied. To. Me.”
I get out of my chair, and charge over, backing her up against the nearest wall. Her lips part, but her eyes hold that same determined glare.
“Don’t you fuckin’ come in here, throwin’ your weight around. I wasn’t obligated to tell you shit, but I did. I gave you somethin’ earlier. I just left one thing out. And I don’t owe you that, ’cause it ain’t your concern.”
“Not my concern?” she cries, and her eyes fill with tears. “I’ve been busting my ass trying with you, Axel. And for what? You’ve given me nothing. Nothing! I let you show me what eats at you, and I accepted it, but you’re still holding back. You still don’t trust me enough to share it all with me. When are you going to give me a bigger piece of yourself?”
I glare at her, and my anger boils over. “I was goin’ to give you a piece of myself, Meadow. Tonight. I was going to patch you in as my old lady, because I want you in my fuckin’ life. I want to try. I want to give you somethin’ that you can hang on to.”
Her eyes widen, and a little gasp escapes her lips. “What?”
“You fuckin’ heard me. I’m claimin’ you.”
She shakes her head, backing up. “You don’t get to just claim me, Axel. It’s not that easy.”
“Do you want me, Meadow?”
She shakes her head, her eyes wide. “What?”
“You fuckin’ heard me,” I grunt.
“I do, but...”
“Do you want to walk away from me?”
“No, but...”
“Then that makes you mine. I’m claimin’ you, because I want you in my bed every fuckin’ day, and I’m sick of denying that.”
Her mouth forms a tiny O, and she continues walking backward.
“You killed my father,” she croaks out. “You chased me across the country for nearly two years. You treated me like a dog, and you hurt me. You lied to me. You kept yourself away from me. Through all of that I still fought for you, hoping there was something left. Now you’re going to just tell me I’m yours, and it’s all happy days? I don’t think so,” she whispers.
What?
I narrow my eyes. “You fuckin’ rejectin’ me, Cricket?”
“I’m no one’s property, Axel, especially not yours. I’m never going to give myself to someone who refuses to be honest with me.”
“It was one fuckin’ thing!”
“You want me to be your old lady?” she growls. “Then open the last door. Tell me what happened to you those months you were away.”
My eyes harden, and my skin crawls. She can’t ask me that shit. It ain’t for her to know. “No.”
“Then this,” she says, pointing between the two of us, “is fucking done. Don’t you follow me.”
She turns, and runs out the door, not giving me a chance to react. I slam my hands against the table, and pain cascades through my heart.
Fuck it. I can’t be back here.
I close my eyes, and drop my head into my hands. It’s all been fuckin’ too much. Chasin’ her across the country, then havin’ her in my bed, and opening something I never thought I’d open, then my fuckin’ father shows up, and now we’re here. I need to end this shit, once and for all. I’m tired of chasing, tired of hiding. I’m getting my girl back, even if she doesn’t fuckin’ want it.
Then it hits me, hard, like a ton of bricks.
She’s still got my USB.
CHAPTER 23
MEADOW
Promises are made to be broken, that’s why the words were never spoken.
He doesn’t come after me. Not that I expected him to. So, I flag down a cab and order him to take me to the police station. I need answers. I don’t trust Raide, but I want to hear his side of it. My entire destiny has been warped. Everything I’ve looked forward to, everything I’ve believed in has been slammed into the dirt, and crushed. I can’t begin to process everything that’s been put into my life, but I do know there’s always a reason for it.
Axel has a reason—a purpose—I just don’t know what it is.
I know I love him. I’ve known it for long enough now.
It doesn’t change that I can’t keep fighting against a soulless man. He doesn’t want to let me in. He’s refusing to acknowledge what this really is. He wants me as an old lady, just a girl that does as she’s told. That’s not me. I need him to love me. I need him to want more than just a claim. He doesn’t, though, because he won’t open up. That should have been my answer then, and it’s certainly my answer now.
Axel and I are done.
The minute the cab pulls up to the police station, I get out, handing the driver a twenty. Then I stand out front, staring up at the big building. I need a toilet before I go in there. I’m fully aware that I still have a USB drive in a place a USB drive shouldn’t be. I don’t know if that makes me feel more powerful, or if I’ll just throw it in the mail and send it back to Axel, cutting all ties forever. He’ll want this. His father will want this. I’m tired of being the meat between the sandwich. If he has it, he can deal with it.
I find a public toilet, and my heart aches as a sense of loss washes through me. As much as I hated how Axel and my relationship has been, it was still mine, and because of that, letting it go is like letting go of my home. I felt a certain comfort around Axel and the guys. I can’t explain it, because there really was nothing that happened to make me feel at ease, but I did. Now, here I am, in a toilet, about to go in and talk to a man I don’t trust.
I don’t know why I’m here.
I finish up in the toilet, and dispose of the condom before tucking the US
B into my knickers, just to keep it safe. Then I make my way back to the station. I stare at the front doors for a long moment, struggling to breathe. I’m not entirely sure this is a good idea, but I know I have to do it. I need to know how Raide played his part in this, so I can decide for myself how this story is meant to unfold.
I walk inside, and the cool crisp air from the over air-conditioned room hits my face. I shudder. I walk up to the main desk where a lady in a dark gray suit is sitting, typing away. She lifts her eyes to see me standing there, and a small smile breaks out on her perky face. “Well, hi, how can I help you?”
I force a smile. “I’m actually here to see Raide.”
Her eyes narrow. “Have you got an appointment to see him?”
“Well, no, but...”
“I’m sorry ma’am, unless you have an appointment I can’t let you see him.”
“He told me to come and see him, anytime I needed,” I croak out, feeling my voice tremble.
“Look, just give me a minute. What’s your name?”
“It’s Meadow.”
She picks up the phone, giving me a snooty expression. I want to reach over the reception and smack her in the face.
“Mr. Wraithe, yes, it’s Lisa. I have a girl up the front, insisting on seeing you, I’ve told her that’s not going to happen, but...”
Silence falls.
“Pardon?”
More silence.
“Her name is Meadow.”
Her face pales, and she begins nodding her head.
“Yes sir, sorry sir.”
She hangs up the phone, and looks up at me, her eyes flaring. “He’ll be out in a second.”
I nod at her, and wait with my hands bound tightly together. I hear a door slam to my left, and I spin around to see Raide approaching me. He’s smiling, and his eyes sparkle as he approaches me. His blue shirt has a few buttons undone, and he looks far more casual now than he did earlier. I don’t want to like this man, but...he has something about him. Something familiar. I give him a wobbly smile. He stops in front of me, and extends his hand. I can see the receptionist watching us from the corner of my eye, and I decide then she must be his fuck buddy.
