by Anna Lewis
She tried once again to convince herself that it did not matter. She had Bret now, even if their relationship seemed to be purely physical. At least there was hope for something deeper in the future. Besides, Bret was taking good care of her. He was certainly giving her plenty of opportunities to grow her business and make it big.
Weeks dragged on. The more Tasha thought of Carter, the more she missed him. The bad part was, whenever she missed him, she turned to Bret for more sex. At least it worked for him too. He had never mentioned anything about taking their relationship a notch higher. The problem was that it wasn’t a good solution for her. She always ended up feeling guilty, lonely and miserable.
As she sat alone in the small office they had provided for her inside MileRun, she stared at her computer screen blankly. Why was she even bothering?
Every time she stepped into that store, she remembered Carter and the fun times they had together. She remembered how much he had made her feel loved. It still hurt so badly that he’d just thrown away everything. And for what? To accomplish his dreams on his own?
For the nth time, she puzzled over his possible reasons for deciding to pursue his ambitions without her. Had he fallen out of love without her knowing it? Or perhaps he’d thought she would just be a nuisance or a hindrance to his dreams.
There was only one way to find out. However, he didn’t seem to need the closure that she so desperately wanted. It was hard to get him alone, much less to force him to talk.
The store was closed already. It was getting late, but she needed to finish something first. For the next two hours, she forced herself to focus and work. After all, she didn’t want Carter of all people to regret hiring her services. And more than doing this for Carter, she was doing it for her own future.
The job at hand took three long hours. When she was done, her eyes hurt so much she decided to close and rest them for a while.
The smell of coffee roused her. The moment she opened her eyes, she was instantly blinded by the sunlight seeping through the windows. She shielded her eyes until they adjusted to the brightness. That was when she noticed a man gazing at her.
Leaning on the doorway of her small office with arms crossed on his chest, he looked fresh and handsome. This time, the usually solemn expression on his face was gone, replaced by concern.
Tasha blinked. She wasn’t dreaming. Carter was really there with her. Shit. She had fallen asleep for hours!
“Good morning, Miss Winters,” he greeted nonchalantly.
“Good morning, Mr. Crawford,” she answered in an equally formal tone. Her voice came out croaking awkwardly. She quickly cleared her throat and gathered her things.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep here,” she quickly said. “I didn’t realize I’d slept that long. I was working on something last night and–”
“It’s alright,” he cut her off. “I appreciate your hard work. But you may want to look in the mirror now.”
She wanted to protest, but she saw a playful glint in his eye and caught the side of his lips turning up slightly. Was he smiling or even joking around with her?! Or maybe he was laughing at her! The nerve of this guy!
Her immediate reaction was to glare at his back once he turned to walk away, sipping the cup of coffee in his hand.
She grabbed her bag and hurried out without giving him a glance. She even slammed the door behind her to make a point, despite the fact that he was technically a huge client and a billionaire now too.
As Alex took an artsy embroidered dress off the rack, she said to Tasha, “You know, for someone who keeps ignoring you or pretending you didn’t have an intimate connection in the past, I’m surprised he’s spending so much time here in Solvang.”
Tasha shrugged. “It makes sense, I guess, since there are plenty of outdoor activities and sports here to engage in.”
“Maybe…” Alex said with a doubtful look on her face.
Finally, after weeks of working hard with her virtual teams on her two latest projects, Tasha had found time to enjoy herself.
“You know, let’s just go shopping!” Tasha declared, checking out a display of hand-painted trendy bags. She grabbed one that she liked and stashed it into the basket she was holding, which was already filled with other items she intended to buy.
“My, you are stressed!” Alex said with a laugh upon seeing her friend’s shopping basket.
“Absolutely.”
They both purchased a lot from the fashion boutique-slash-art gallery that they had always loved.
Tasha felt good to be rewarding herself and having some “me” time for a change.
Heading to a nearby coffee shop, she almost didn’t spot the familiar bald guy who seemed to be lurking in the corner, watching her. He was definitely creepy.
She recognized him as the one who’d come to her rescue in the bar when an old man had hit on her.
A surge of spontaneous boldness went through her. “Hey!” She called suddenly, half-running half-walking toward him.
Luckily, he did not run away. “Yes?” He asked, turning to her and looking genuinely stunned.
“You!” Tasha said in a sharp tone. “Are you spying on me? Why do you keep following me around?”
“Excuse me?” The guy scoffed.
“Let’s go, Tasha!” Alex hissed, grabbing her friend’s arm. “What are you doing?”
Tasha stood her ground. “Come on, tell me. What do you want?!”
He chuckled. “First, you get drunk in a bar and act horrified when a dirty old man flirts with you. Now, you’re suddenly accusing a strange man of spying on you. I think it’s time you went to see a shrink.”
“What?!”
The man walked away. Tasha wanted to go after him, but Alex stopped her. She quickly explained how she had been seeing this guy snooping on her at times for the past month or so.
“Let’s just report him to the cops,” Alex said.
“Yeah, let’s,” Tasha agreed. “I don’t trust him. He’s too creepy.”
So much for my supposed restful, happy day, Tasha thought with a sigh.
She and Alex decided to just relax at home with a movie and pizza, however, she couldn’t concentrate on what they were watching because of the incident. It was really bothering her, perhaps because she felt there was something more to the story.
When her sister Tyra called from Singapore to see how she was doing, she couldn’t hide the truth. She told her all about the mysterious bald guy.
For a while, Tyra was silent.
“Uh, hello?” Tasha thought she’d lost her on the line.
“Yes, I’m still here, Tash.”
“What’s the matter?”
“You know, I was just thinking… did you ever get around to researching about your biological parents?” Tyra wondered in a serious tone.
“Not really. I’ve been so busy.”
“I see…”
“Wait,” Tasha said, a thought occurring to her. “You don’t think this guy’s involved with my parents somehow?”
She could hear her sister taking a deep breath on the other end. “Tasha…” she hesitated before continuing. “When we were in college, I used to catch this bald guy roaming nearby and sometimes staring at you. I thought it was nothing. But when I mentioned it to Mom, she said it’s probably someone who works for your real father.”
“Mom knew who my real father was?” Tasha almost screamed into the phone.
“I’m not sure,” Tyra answered truthfully. “When they brought you home, you were still a baby and I was about five or six. They only told me that we were going to be your family because your mother passed away when she gave birth to you and nobody could locate your father.”
Tasha nodded. She knew that part of the story. “Maybe Mom got to talk to my mother before she died. Maybe they were good friends, after all.”
“I don’t know, Tash. According to Mom, they met only in the hospital. But yes, it’s possible that your biological mother was able to mention some other infor
mation about your father.”
Tasha sighed. It was impossible to find out now, since her adoptive mom wasn’t around anymore too. Her only chance was to make the bald guy talk.
Suddenly, a picture of Bret Walton entered her mind. He had all the connections and money to help her find out the truth. But of course, she wouldn’t dare ask for such a favor.
Sighing again, she thought of the only other billionaire she knew: Carter Crawford. If only they could be friends again at least. He knew her background, anyway. But then again, she didn’t want any favors from him either.
Why is life so complicated? She wondered silently, a wave of depression washing over her.
* * *
It was the perfect day to be soaking the sun at one of the most scenic spots in town. Clad in a long, sleeveless powder blue dress with her wavy light brown hair blowing in the wind, Tasha admired the stunning view from the hilltop.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Tasha said to Amy with a smile.
“Definitely,” Amy agreed, smiling back and lacing hands with her boyfriend Tim who happened to be their special photographer for the shoot. “It’s also super romantic.”
“You lovebirds should be the ones to pose for this photo!” Tasha joked, giving Amy a friendly push.
Amy laughed. “Oh, my! Your website might get ruined!”
Tasha and Tim laughed.
At that moment, Carter appeared with a disapproving look on his face. “Let’s get to work, everybody.” He clapped his hand to signal the whole crew to pay attention and get started.
Everybody fell silent and listened to his last minute instructions.
“Is he always this hands-on?” Tasha hissed to Amy.
Amy shook her head. “His schedule’s a total mess right now. He’s been dropping his other meetings to give more time to this Solvang project.”
Tasha’s heart seemed to jump at that.
“I’m not sure why…” Amy continued in a whisper. “There’s something about this place that seems to magnetize him or something.”
Tasha was silent, wondering if it had to do with their past. It warmed her heart somehow.
For the past month that she’d been seeing more of Carter, she had seen how hard he worked and pushed himself and his people. He wasn’t really harsh to anyone, but he was definitely uptight and serious. Even though he had achieved so much in a short time, he was still on hustle mode all the time.
As Tim began to take photos of the two models on their bicycles, Tasha turned to Amy. “Is Car– I mean, Mr. Crawford, always a slave driver and a workaholic?”
“Yes, but it has paid off,” Amy said. “I’ve seen it. I grew with this company, Tasha. Mr. Crawford is a genius in business. He’s just too serious, you know… But not mean… He’s actually very generous to his employees.”
“That’s wonderful,” Tasha remarked, remembering how Carter had always put her needs first before his own. It was only when he’d left that he’d been selfish. But she guessed it was all good, now that he had accomplished much more than what he had ever dreamed of.
She gazed at him from where she was standing. He was observing the entire shoot with immense concentration.
He used to look at her that way, which had been amusing and perplexing at the same time. But now, when he looked at her or if he needed to say something, he appeared to see a blank wall. It was crushing.
At the same time, she couldn’t help but feel proud of him. She knew that he’d been forcing himself to become rich so that he could somehow rectify his parents’ wrongdoings. They had amassed millions of dollars before and had hurt a lot of people in the process. In the end, they ended up poor and miserable. She hoped they were in a much better situation now.
While everybody packed up after the shoot and headed their own ways, Tasha got busy inside the hilltop cottage that they had rented to serve as a makeshift office. Tim had given her the files, which she wanted to upload to the webpage she was working on.
She became so preoccupied that she didn’t even notice the time. The surroundings were silent, but she was grateful for the opportunity to immerse herself in her beloved work without any distractions.
Amy peeked in a bit earlier. “I need to go somewhere with Tim, Tasha. You can catch a ride with the company driver, alright?”
Tasha had said “sure” without really paying attention.
When she was satisfied with the look of the page, she hit the save button. She stood up and stretched her arms to the ceiling.
She walked around the charmingly decorated living room of the cottage. “Real nice,” she commented, smiling. Then she went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee.
While sipping her coffee, she decided to watch the sun setting outside. She sat underneath the sole tree beside the cottage, not caring about getting dirt on her dress.
“It’s so beautiful,” she whispered.
“Extraordinary,” someone agreed.
She turned around in surprise and almost dropped the cup she was holding when she saw who it was.
“Carter! I mean, Mr. Crawford!” she exclaimed. “What are you still doing here?”
“Same thing as you,” he replied. “I wanted to catch the sunset.”
Tasha didn’t know what to say, so she turned back to the lovely blend of colors in the sky, her heart pounding harder than ever. She finished her coffee quickly, all the time very much aware of Carter’s presence behind her. He was probably standing close to her as she could hear his breathing.
The sun had gone down completely, leaving the sky in darkness. The townscape beneath was now twinkling with lights.
“I, uh, I have to go now,” Tasha mumbled, stepping away.
“Tasha, wait,” Carter said, grabbing her arm. His touch sent an electric shock through her that made her gasp. She looked up and met his eyes.
“Do you know where Conrad is?” she asked.
“Oh, the driver went home already,” Carter said. “He said there was an emergency with his family, but nothing to be worried about.”
“Okay, that’s good to hear… but how the heck am I going home?”
“You can ride with me,” Carter said slowly. “But unfortunately, I’m staying overnight in the cottage.”
“Without any bodyguards or assistants?”
He nodded. “Of course. I’m a nobody to most people, Tasha. I’ve always kept a low profile.”
“I see,” Tasha said. “I guess I’ll have to call Alex to fetch me or arrange transportation for me or something.”
Carter nodded. “Okay, let me know ‘cause I can call another driver to pick you up here.”
“Thanks,” Tasha said before heading back inside to get her cellphone. The prospect of spending more “alone” time with Carter was making her panic.
Pick up, Alex, please! She begged silently. The phone just kept ringing. She decided to just send Alex a text message and wait for a while.
After a few minutes, she went out. Carter was still there by the tree, gazing over the town below. When he noticed her presence, he said, “Any luck?”
Tasha shook her head. Funny how I’m so afraid to be alone with him now when I’ve wanted so much to have this opportunity to talk to him. This is the best and only chance I have to finally get closure and move on totally.
She looked at him then, meeting his gaze. His stare was unnerving. He was studying her closely, as if seeing her for the first time. This time, she could sense that his guard was down, that he wanted to reach out to her.
She began to pace back and forth, rubbing her arms as she did. It was getting a little chilly.
“Here,” Carter suddenly said, taking off his jacket and handing it to her.
She was about to say no when she saw his face. “I insist,” he said quietly.
She took it and put it on, then finally decided to sit down under the tree. She was feeling the exhaustion of the past months. Or was it just uneasiness and tension because of Carter?
Looking at her cellpho
ne, she saw that the signal was weakening. The last message she received was from Bret, who told her he was headed to Germany for a conference.
“Tasha…” Carter started, his voice perturbed.
She looked up, the butterflies in her stomach going wild. To her shock, he even sat down beside her. His proximity stirred so many different emotions inside of her.
“There’s no signal,” he said. “I can’t call for a driver.”
“Yeah, my phone too is losing its signal.”
“How’s everything?” He suddenly blurted out.
“Uh, great!” She answered automatically. “I mean, I’ve uploaded some of the photos on the webpage. Your bikes and the outdoor gear look awesome. Tim’s a really amazing photographer and–”
He took her hand then, which immediately flustered her and silenced her. “I didn’t mean work. I meant you. How are you?”
Tasha’s heart wanted to burst. All the negative feelings she had been containing inside began to spill out. She felt like slapping him and crying hysterically. But she kept her cool.
“I’m fine,” was all she said before turning her head away.
“I’m not,” he revealed.
That caught her attention. She turned back to face him again, her eyes burning of anger and hurt. “How dare you say that,” she hissed, her chest heaving heavily.
“For all it’s worth, I want you to know that I am so, so sorry,” he said, his eyes full of sincerity and anguish. “It’s not enough and it will never be. No matter what, I can never take back the pain I caused you. But I don’t regret doing it, Tasha.”
“Because you’ve got all this money now? Is that it?” Tasha said, her voice trembling. She was trying to keep her emotions in control, but it was taking a toll on her already.
Carter shook his head. “It’s not about money. It’s not about my dreams, either.”
“Then what? I wasn’t good enough for you?!”
He took her hand and squeezed it. She tried to shake him away but he was too firm. “I have my reasons, Tasha. But I just want you to know that there was never a day I didn’t suffer because of what I did. Until now.”
