I shrugged, picking at the blanket wrapped around us. “I don’t know. When you first got home, there was lipstick on your mouth. I just assumed…”
“She kissed me when I dropped her off,” he said bluntly. “But I didn’t kiss her back. I stopped her, and asked her to get out of my car.”
“Why?” I breathed. “She’s beautiful. She’s…”
“Not you,” he said. My next breath stalled in my chest, and the corner of Reese’s mouth quirked to one side as he pulled my fingertips to his lips again, kissing them lightly. “She’s not you, Sarah. That’s why I didn’t kiss her back.”
I wanted to trust it, the way my heart soared at his words. But it didn’t seem possible. It didn’t feel real, that he could want me, too. That a young, damaged girl like me could be anywhere near what he wanted or needed.
But the way he looked at me…
I swallowed, tapping his lips. “So… what do we do now?”
Reese sat up a little more, that familiar crease showing between his brows. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… I’m your student. Your boss is my uncle. And…”
“I’m an old man?”
I chuckled, running a hand back through his hair before I rested it at the nape of his neck. “Thirty-seven is not old.”
“It’s a hell of a lot older than twenty-one.”
I frowned, twirling the strands of his hair between my fingers. “So… does that mean… can we not…” I couldn’t figure out how to ask what I wanted to, what I needed to. My eyes fell to his chest, a thick, sticky knot in my throat as I tried to swallow past it. “Was last night it?”
Reese watched me for a long moment before he dipped down, forcing me to look him in the eye. “Do you want it to be?”
I shook my head immediately.
“What do you want?”
I almost laughed, like it was easy to say, to achieve. “I want you,” I answered simply. “I want… us. But, I’m scared. I don’t want you to get fired, and I don’t know how my uncle will react. Or what people will say, how they’ll see us. What about The Kinky Starfish? And the parents at Westchester, will they worry about their kids? And what about…” I sighed, biting my lower lip. “I don’t know if I… I don’t know if I’m enough for you. I’m young, and inexperienced, and—”
“Hey,” Reese interrupted me, tilting my chin with his knuckles until my eyes met his once more. “Do you remember what I said to you that night we adopted Rojo?”
I loved the way he said we, like we were a unit, a team, a thing.
I nodded.
“What did I say?” he probed.
“You said I was enough,” I whispered.
Reese’s eyes danced between mine. “I did. And I meant it. Then, and now. You are enough, Sarah. And I want you, too.”
My eyes widened. “You do?”
He chuckled at that, leaning in to press his lips tenderly to mine. “I love how you act so surprised, like you’re anything less than the most beautiful, most incredible, strongest woman I’ve ever known.”
I beamed, pressing up to kiss him again before my head fell back into the pillows. I shook it, staring up at the most beautiful, most incredible, strongest man I’d ever known — wondering how in the hell he saw the same in me.
But none of that mattered to anyone outside of these walls.
All they would see is a teacher abusing his power, a student feeling like she was in love when she was just enamored by an older man. They’d see perversion, not beauty.
“What do we do, then?” I asked him. “How do we…”
“We’ll figure it out,” he said, kissing my fingertips. “I will figure it out. Okay? But we don’t have to have all the answers right now.” With that, he rolled, rubbing Rojo’s belly before popping up out of bed. His hair was a disheveled mess, but all I could stare at were the muscles that lined his rib cage, his abdomen, leading all the way down to the sharp V above his belt. “Right now,” he said, reaching a hand back for me. “We both need a shower. And then you need to figure out a story for why you stayed out all night.”
I laughed, letting him pull me up. “Yeah… that will be a fun conversation.”
“Was it worth it, though?” Reese asked, pulling me flush against him. His lips found mine, hands splaying the small of my back and pulling me into him as he stole my breath.
And I didn’t have to answer out loud for him to know my response.
It was worth it.
So, so worth it.
***
Reese
There was one day from my childhood that I had always remembered.
I wasn’t sure why this particular day stuck in my mind, especially since nothing truly remarkable happened, but I’d never forgotten it. It was just a weekday over the summer, right before I went into my sophomore year of high school. Mallory and I were in our backyard with Charlie and her older brother, Graham. This was before I saw Charlie as anything other than my best friend’s little sister, and before I lost my family, and before I realized that anything could ever come between me and my love for the piano. It was just a hot summer day in Pennsylvania, and we were in the back yard, flying down a homemade slip-n-slide we’d made.
It kept us entertained the entire day.
I remember listening to the new Pearl Jam album, spraying my little sister with the water and talking to Graham about the hot new freshmen we’d be fighting over when school started. Mom had been working on the house inside, but stopped to bring us lunch. She’d watched us play for a while, laughing every time I’d try to run all the way down the tarp without falling.
I never succeeded.
And when Dad got home, he came out back, still dressed in his suit and tie from the work day. Rather than just watching, he’d stripped down to his old man boxers and dove straight down the tarp on his stomach.
We’d all chased after him.
That memory was as brazen in my mind as it was the very day it all happened. Maybe it was because it was a time we were together as a family. Maybe it just reminded me of simpler days. Regardless, it had always stuck with me — and it wasn’t necessarily what happened on that day as much as it was how I felt. I was alive, young, with limitless opportunities ahead of me. It was a lazy summer day, one where I had nowhere to be and nothing to do, one where everyone I loved was right where they were supposed to be.
It was the same feeling I’d had since Saturday night.
Only now, it was because of Sarah.
Just like that day, she made me feel alive. She made me feel young, and limitless, and wild and free. It’d only been a few days since we’d surrendered to each other, since the night we crossed every line that still stood between us. I wanted her, and she wanted me, and we had so much still to figure out but nothing else mattered outside of the fact that we were together.
She was the light I never thought I’d see again, the purpose I thought I’d lost forever.
The last few days had been a blur of piano lessons that didn’t last long enough and kisses stolen between songs. After she stayed out all night that Saturday, she’d been trying to be more careful, returning home to her uncle’s as soon as our lessons were over. For three whole days, she’d been all I could think about, and yet we hadn’t had more than a few hours together each day.
But tonight, she was mine.
She told her uncle she was staying at a friend’s after work, and for the first time since Saturday, I was going to have her all to myself again. It was enough to make me bounce in the shower as I scrubbed my hair, my body, wishing I could fast forward through the night to when we were coming home together.
I liked me better when I was with her.
Rojo was sprawled out on the bath mat when I got out of the shower, still dripping. She glanced lazily up at me, as if I were the inconvenience as I stepped around her for my towel.
“You actually going to share the bed tonight?” I asked her with a smirk, scrubbing the towel over my hair.
R
ojo just huffed, flicking her tail a few times before she gave me an exaggerated yawn and spread out on the mat even more.
I chuckled. “Guess not.”
I turned on the same Pearl Jam album from my favorite childhood memory as I got ready for work, singing along with Eddie Vedder to the best of my abilities. I felt like a high school kid again, bouncing around, singing and smiling and floating like a damn fool because of a girl. I wondered idly if Sarah and I had gone to high school together, if she would have been interested in me.
I knew without a doubt that answer was no.
I was a little shit, and I didn’t know how to treat a woman back then. Hell, maybe I never learned that lesson. Judging by the way I’d done Blake, the way I’d tried to steal Charlie from Cameron — I didn’t exactly have the best track record.
But I’d change that with Sarah.
It was a vow I’d made to her, to myself. I knew how the odds were stacked against us. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But, I also knew I’d make it work. I’d find a way.
I had to.
For the first time since my family died, everything felt right. I cared for Sarah, and she cared for me. It was reciprocated, which I found was entirely different than anything I’d ever experienced with any woman in my life before. She made me feel right — for the first time since I lost everything… maybe for the first time ever.
And tonight, after work, I’d get to see her again.
I’d get to hold her, kiss her, be with her outside of our lessons.
I just had to make it through one short shift.
Checking my watch, I snatched my wallet off the table and rubbed Rojo’s head where she was now sprawled out on the couch. “Be good,” I told her, plucking my keys from the table next. “I’m bringing your favorite person home later.”
Rojo just stretched out farther, eyes lazily drifting closed. I smirked, swinging my front door open and wishing I was at the part of the night where I was walking back inside instead of out. I paused at the sight of a familiar car in my driveway, tilting my head to the side as hope fluttered through my chest.
Sarah?
Maybe she couldn’t wait until after work, I thought. But it wasn’t her who stepped out of the old Toyota.
It was her uncle.
I frowned, something tugging at my gut in warning as he watched me from under bent brows once he was out of the car. I swallowed, locking up behind me before I trotted down the stairs and across the drive.
“Evening, Mr. Henderson,” I greeted, offering a warm smile. “How are you tonight?”
Randall returned my smile, though it was tight at the edges as he slipped his hands into the pockets of his slacks. “Good evening to you. I’m doing well, all things considered.”
He didn’t ask how I was.
I nodded, still smiling. “Glad to hear it. Uh… I’m actually about to head to The Kinky Starfish for the night,” I explained, thumb pointing back over my shoulder toward downtown. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know, sorry for showing up unannounced. I actually just dropped Sarah off there for her shift,” he explained. “Seems she’s staying the night with a friend, so I offered to drop her off and take her car in for an oil change in the morning.”
The way he said the word friend put every nerve in my body on high alert.
His smile was gone, his gaze hard.
I didn’t need a second guess to determine that he wasn’t sold on Sarah’s story.
“Oh,” I answered, twirling my key ring around one finger before tucking it into my pocket. “Well, that’s good. I’m glad she’s making friends.”
“Indeed.” Randall watched me, eyes narrowing as he rolled his lips together. “You know, that’s actually why I stopped by. Apparently, Sarah stayed with this friend on Saturday night, too.”
Again, the way he said friend told me this conversation was anything but friendly.
“Oh?”
He nodded. “Yeah, except, she’s never mentioned this friend before. And I’ve never heard of the young lady. Of course, I’m not insinuating that I know everyone in town. But, well… as you know, I’m familiar with most.”
I didn’t respond. At this point, I didn’t feel like I was invited to.
Randall wouldn’t be concerned if he believed Sarah truly had been at a girlfriend’s house. He’d wanted her to make friends, to be welcomed by Mount Lebanon. And at twenty-one, Sarah was too old for him to be interfering in her life the way he would if she were in high school.
He didn’t believe her story.
And the way Randall was looking at me told me I had more to worry about than her right now.
“I just want to make sure she’s not getting mixed up in the wrong crowd,” he said, taking a step toward me. “You and I both know how dangerous that can be for such a young, impressionable girl.”
I swallowed, trying to smile past the guilt. “She’s a smart woman,” I said. “And she’s picky about who she spends her time with. I don’t think you need to be worried, Mr. Henderson.”
Randall smiled, but it fell too quickly, and he took another step toward me with a menacing glare. “Listen to me, Reese Walker. I may not know everything going on in my niece’s life, but I know enough to know she’s been through enough shit to last a lifetime. She came here for a break, for a means to an end, and that is it.” He lowered his voice. “I also know that you have a tendency of wanting what you can’t have, and I just wanted to remind you of your role in her life. In case you had forgotten.”
I swallowed, jaw tight from grinding my teeth together so I wouldn’t pop off and tell Mr. Henderson exactly what I thought about his assessment of me, of what I wanted, what I’d done, and what role I played in Sarah’s life.
But through the rage, I saw Sarah.
I made a promise to her, and if I wanted to live in a world where we could be together, I had to curate that.
Punching her uncle in the throat wouldn’t help.
So, instead, I held my chin high, chest broad, and I pretended like I didn’t have a fucking clue what he was insinuating.
“I’m not sure what all of that means, sir,” I said as calmly as I could manage. “But, I assure you, I have nothing but the utmost respect for your niece and her dreams. I want her wellbeing just as much as you do.”
Randall narrowed his eyes into slits, but not getting a rise out of me seemed to anger him more than appease him. It didn’t make sense. We’d always been friends, and he’d been nothing but kind to me since I’d arrived back in town.
Then again, I supposed if he knew anything about what happened between me and Charlie, I couldn’t blame him for being suspicious of me. He was right, I did have a bad habit of wanting what I couldn’t have. And in all ways, Sarah fit into that category.
But I didn’t believe in boxes, anymore.
Regardless of what Randall thought, of what anyone thought, Sarah and I were good together. She had saved me, and I hoped I could do the same for her, in time.
“Seems we’re on the same page,” Randall said after a long while, taking a small step back. “Let’s touch base after this week’s lessons to discuss next steps for Sarah. I know she’s anxious to get to New York City, and you’ve got connections to get her there sooner rather than later.”
What he was implying was crystal clear. He wanted Sarah out of here, away from me, and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
That was fine.
I’d made a promise to Sarah that I’d find a way for us to be together, that I’d figure everything out. I knew in order to achieve that, I’d have to show her uncle — show everyone — that I cared for Sarah. She was important to me, I respected her, and I wanted her to succeed just as much as her family did — maybe even more.
Yes, I was older. Yes, she had been my student. But what we had was real, and I would prove it.
He was right, I did have connections in New York. If I could help her achieve her dream, help her get to the place she wanted to be,
it would show not just her how much I cared, but everyone around her, too. And as Mr. Henderson offered me one last wave over his shoulder before climbing back into Sarah’s car, I pulled out my phone, flipping through it until I found an old, familiar name.
I knew just who to call.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
* * *
Sarah
I might as well have had roller blades strapped to my feet for the way I was gliding around The Kinky Starfish Wednesday night. Then again, judging by the way I’d fallen on my face in the park, maybe that was a bad analogy. Still, I felt like I was skating, floating, completely weightless as I bussed tables and helped the wait staff fill orders. We were busier than normal, every seat in the house taken, and while everyone else was wearing the stress on their sleeves, I couldn’t stop smiling.
Maybe it was because I could still taste Reese on my lips from the day before, could still feel him pressing me into the piano when he’d had enough of our lesson and wanted to spend our last hour together very much not working. Maybe it was the memory of his fingers inside me Saturday night, the butterflies that flurried to life in my stomach when I thought of the possibility that we could have a round two tonight. Kissing between lessons had been nice, but ever since I’d had a taste of Reese, I’d wanted more.
Tonight, I hoped I’d get it.
I told my uncle I was staying the night with a friend, to not expect me home after work, and though he didn’t seem entirely comfortable with the idea, he’d agreed. It wasn’t that I really needed his permission. I was certainly old enough not to have to ask. But, I was staying in his home, under his roof, and I wanted to respect him and all he’d done for me that summer. It was more of a courtesy, letting him know where I’d be.
Even if that courtesy was technically a lie.
But I couldn’t find it in me to feel guilty, not with Reese stealing glances across the room at me all evening long. The way his eyes darkened when they found me, the way the left side of his mouth quirked up into that familiar smirk — it was enough to drive any woman mad.
Best Kept Secrets: The Complete Series Page 74
