by Katie Dowe
*****
They had a routine. He insisted that they go out as a couple at least two times for the week and even though she protested that they were not in a relationship, he would not budge. So she succumbed because having him inside her had become like an ache inside her that could only be assuaged by him.
One night they had been at a swanky restaurant and she had been wearing a form fitting black dress with nothing underneath it. They had just ordered dessert when she had reached underneath the table and placed her hand over his pubic area squeezing down hard enough to put the pressure on. They had left the restaurant immediately and just made it into the car in the parking lot where he had taken her right there in the car, lifting her up and placing her on his erect penis. She had ridden him desperately; her mouth on his hungrily as he gripped her buttocks and guided her on his member. He had taken her to his place where they had spent the rest of the night making love until the early hours of the morning.
“What are you doing?” Simoniel asked her one morning as she rushed in half an hour late for work, her mouth totally devoid of lipstick. She had spent the night with John again and he had driven her to work where she had left her car. He had taken her mouth in a brutal kiss just as she was about to get out of the vehicle, leaving her weak and spent.
“What do you mean?” she asked booting up her computer and getting ready to start her day.
“You know what I mean Lee,” Simoniel planted herself in front of her with her hands on her hips. “When are you going to admit that you are falling in love with this man and stop pretending that this is just physical?”
“What?” she looked at her friend startled.
“You spend almost every waking moment with him and you two can’t seem to keep your hands off each other. What is that telling you?”
“That we are very attracted to each other?” Leonie said practically. “We have an arrangement Sim, and that’s all there is to it.”
“And he is okay with that?”
“He has to be, because he has not said anything to indicate otherwise.”
“And just because he has not said anything that means he is satisfied with whatever you two have going on?” Simoniel persisted, forcing her to question herself, forcing herself to look deep within. She had gone from no physical contact with anyone to a relationship that was so consumed by fire that she had a hard time thinking straight. During her alone time she asked herself what was next but she had avoided digging too deep because she did not want to know the answer.
“He would have said something to me.” She said defensively.
“Would he?” Simoniel looked at her speculatively.
*****
John made notations in the corner of the prospectus as he read it swiftly. He had a meeting in the next hour and he wanted to make sure he had everything in place. He had been finding it very hard to concentrate ever since he had entered the craziness with Leonie. He had fallen headlong in love with her and there was no turning back for him. When she touched him she set off a fire that was so consuming he was having a hard time controlling himself around her but he needed more. He was not sure how long he could keep pretending that all he wanted from her was the mind blowing sex they had been having every chance they got.
He had made up his mind not to stay away from her like he had done before but he was not sure this was much better. He needed to tell her how he felt but he was afraid of scaring her off and he could not have that. He needed her too much and so he had decided that having her that way was better than not having her at all.
He sat in the meeting with the sales people and listened to their pitch as they tried to convince him and the board that the software company they had acquired recently could do well with some more injection of capital in order to make it more viable financially.
“We have to be ahead of the competitors gentlemen and in order to do so we have to be the best there is.” He went on and on about opportunity for growth and taking the market by storm but John was only half listening.
He had promised to take Leonie out to dinner later but he knew what it was going to lead to eventually. He had a business trip that was going to take him to Japan for three days and he wondered what she would say if he asked her to go with him. Even three days of being away from her was making him sweat and he realized that he did not want to spend a minute without her.
“What do you think sir?” He realized that the head of the sales team, Michael Murray had addressed a question to him directly.
“I think we should do some more research on this, meaning you and let us be fully aware of the risks in injecting more capital into something that sounds too good to be true.” He said briefly. “This meeting has been adjourned.” He added with a nod of his head.
He called her as soon as he got into his office. “I am afraid I have to cancel on tonight.”
“Oh no,” she sounded genuinely sorry and he only wished it was for the right reason. “What’s wrong?”
“A meeting I can’t get out of,” he told her, his voice distant.
“So come on over when the meeting is through, I’ll wait up for you,” her voice was cajoling and he almost weakened.
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He said brusquely. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He leaned back against his desk wearily, his body aching for her but he knew he had made the right decision; he needed to take a stand.
*****
He glanced at the clock on his desk in surprise and realized that it was a quarter past seven. He had buried himself in work and the time had slipped away. The place was silent and he knew he was probably the only one in the entire building except the security guard on the ground floor. He was just about to slip on his jacket in readiness to leave when he saw his door handle turn.
“You work too hard,” her voice was husky as she came further inside the office. “I had to tell the guard that I had some totally important files that you needed for a meeting first thing in the morning for him to let me up.”
She had on a fall coat belted at the waist and somehow he knew she had nothing underneath it. Her hair was loose for a change and fell in loose curls around her shoulders. Her face was devoid of make-up and somehow she managed to look more beautiful than ever.
“What are you doing here?” he finally found his voice.
“I need you,” she said simply pulling the belt of the coat and shrugging out of it leaving her totally naked in only black high heels that made her looked sexy as hell. “I want you to screw me on the desk.”
“Is that so?” he drawled, his body tightening with need.
She came around and sat on the desk and opened her legs for him to see her. She used her fingers to part the lips of her vagina and leaned back on her elbows giving him full access. “You need to eat.” She murmured.
He buried his face in her crotch, inhaling her scent before seeking her with his tongue. Her legs opened wider as his tongue plunged deeper inside her. Leonie moaned as his teeth grazed her mound and she moved her body closer to his face as he thrust his tongue inside her. He stood up suddenly and with his eyes holding hers he unzipped his pants and took out his rigid penis. Pulling her on the edge of the desk he plunged inside her; his thrusts frantic and needy.
*****
He took her home that night and he spent the night with her. Long after she had fallen asleep in his arms, he was still wide awake and staring up at the ceiling, his thoughts troubled. He needed to tell her how he felt but he did not know how to do so. He had lost control with her again, wanting to feel her skin so badly that he had taken her twice on the desk and once on his chair and then when he had taken her home they had been at it again.
He had to talk to her and he had to do it soon but first he needed to get the trip off his schedule first. If he was being truthful, he was scared that when he spoke to her he was probably going to lose her.
*****
Leonie was not sleeping and she knew he was not s
leeping as well. She could hear the steady beating of his heart against her skin and wondered what he was thinking. She had been doing a lot of thinking herself and she kept replaying Simoniel’s words inside her head. What if he wanted more? When he had called and told her that he would not be able to see her she had panicked and had found herself desperate to see him. What does that mean? She could not afford to be in love with him because that lead to nothing good and she had no intention of nursing a broken heart when it came to naught, she was in it for the incredible sex and that was that.
Chapter 8
“I am not exactly a bitch, am I?” Leonie asked as she sipped the white wine contemplatively. It was Saturday night and Simoniel had come over for them to have a girls’ night. John had gone to Japan for three days and would not be back until Tuesday night and she missed him. She had stopped sleeping in the bed because his presence was too profound in there and she kept reaching for him but he was not there. He had said he wanted to talk to her when he got back and she had a good idea what that talk was going o be.
“I don’t think you are a bitch at all.” Simoniel assured her. She had noticed the sheets and pillows still on the living room sofa and she had guessed that was where her friend spent her nights. “Why don’t you tell him Lee?” she asked her gently.
“Tell him what?” Leonie curled her feet underneath her and leaned back against the cushions on the sofa.
“How you feel,” Simoniel suggested gently. “You obviously miss him and you can’t seem to function without him.”
“It’s just sex that’s all and besides he said he wanted to talk to me when he got back so you know what that means.” Leonie said with a shrug, trying to pretend that it was neither here nor there to her.
“I never assume and neither should you.” Her friend said firmly. “I think he is in love with you and he wants more than just something physical with you.”
“I doubt that,” Leonie said dryly draining her glass and holding it out for a refill. She was planning on getting good and drunk tonight and not think about anything pertaining to John Masaki. She was not going to think about his mouth on hers, on her nipples, the way he touched her and made her cry out and she was definitely not going to think about the way he held her close to him when they eventually slept.
“You are letting him win Lee,” she told her friend quietly.
“Who?”
“Your dad, you are letting him control your life even to this point. You are letting him dictate your love life and that’s wrong in so many ways.”
“I am not letting him control anything.” Leonie denied furiously. “I am being logical and taking control of the situation before it takes control of me and eventually destroys me. Men leave and that’s a fact, they leave eventually and they will wait until you are totally and hopelessly in love with you before they leave, destroying your sanity along with it.”
“Are you listening to yourself?” Simoniel rounded on her furiously. “Not all men are like that. Are you forgetting that I am married and have been married for a number of years? What are you saying? That Daniel is going to leave me eventually? Is that what you are saying?”
“I don’t know,” Leonie looked at the pale liquid inside her glass. “I wish your marriage a long life but I am talking about me. I cannot take the chance of getting my heart involved only to have it trampled on. I don’t know what I would do.”
“You think that you can keep having incredible sex with John and your heart will never be involved?” Simoniel looked at her with pity. “You are too intelligent to think that girl friend. You are already involved with him totally.”
*****
The dream came that night. She had not been able to get drunk because they had ran out of wine and after Simoniel had left for home she had taken a shower and curled up on the sofa until she had fallen asleep.
She kept reaching for him but he kept moving farther and farther away from him. The more she tried to touch him, the more he disintegrated in her hands and she was left with nothing. She tried calling out to him but he just kept on going until she was shouting out his name.
She woke up with his name on her lips and tears on her cheeks. What if Simoniel was right? What if her heart was already involved?
She removed the sheets that had been twisted around her body and discovered that she had been perspiring. She padded to the kitchen to get some water to wet her thirsty throat and sat on the kitchen stool resting her elbows on the cool marble tiles as she sipped the water. She missed him. She missed him holding her and his lips on her and his very presence in her life, she missed him like crazy and she was very scared about it.
She cried herself to sleep that night and she kept seeing the image of her father reaching out to her. There was one instance where he was talking to her about leaving.
“I am not happy Lee-lee” he told her his face looking sad and weary. “I wanted so much out of life and I have not gotten anywhere.”
“What did you want to be Daddy?” she asked him curiously feeling sorry for him and wishing that she could help him.
“I always wanted to be a police officer but I never got around to doing it and when you came along, I abandoned the idea because I thought it was too dangerous a career and I had you and your mother to think about.”
“I wished you had followed your dreams Daddy and then everything would have been perfect.” She had said plaintively. “Don’t you love us anymore?”
“I will always love you my daughter, you will always be my girl but I have to go and find myself and to rethink my life. I am so sorry.”
She woke up crying.
*****
She had used make-up to hide the telltale marks but she was not sure it had worked. She felt drawn and weary and her head throbbed like an open sore. She could barely get her bleary eyes to focus on the computer monitor.
He was coming back tomorrow! And he had not even called her from Japan so what was that telling her? She had almost called his mother to casually ask her if she had a number for him but she had not done so. She would just have to wait until he got back.
“We have a client list as long as my arm and we are adding more to it and we cannot seem to find a match for the delightful Mrs. Addams who calls us every single day to find out what is happening with her.” Simoniel came into the room with a file in her hands. She was wearing a bulky red sweater and a long floral skirt and had twisted her natural hair into fine braids. It was September and the weather had taken a turn for the worse with the wind picking up and the rain coming down every other day.
“Why don’t we go over that list again?” Leonie suggested. “There must be someone there we can match her up with.”
They pulled the list and went down it carefully. There was a fifty-six year old veterinarian who had his own practice in town. He was a widower with a son who had died in a car accident ten years ago so he was quite alone. “How awful for him.” Simoniel said sympathetically.
Next they looked at a fifty-two year old bank manager who had been divorced two times and had four children still living at home. “Definitely not.” Leonie said with a grimace. “What a nightmare.”
“I think Bob the vet is the best shot.” Simoniel said with a shake of her head. “What do you think? Should we set them up?”
“I think so and it says here that she loves animals and she never had children. Her husband died when they were on their way home from the beach five years ago. This is so sad.” Leonie said.
“That is why you should grab at happiness with both hands when it reaches you.” Simoniel told her pointedly before leaving the office.
*****
She went home late that night not wanting to face her apartment which had suddenly become too lonely for her. It was a little past eight when she let herself inside with the intention of drinking some tea to ward off the chill of outside and going straight to bed.
“I thought you would never get home.” His soft deep voice came from the living room sof
a, the same sofa where she had not bothered to remove the pillows and the sheets. He was here in her apartment and she felt her body trembling from the knowledge that he had come home.
“John,” she forced her voice to remain steady and to stand her ground when he came over towards her. She had taken off her coat and hung it on the coat hanger. He stood in front of her just within touching distance. She realized that he had taken off his jacket and was in a steel gray shirt that he had unbuttoned at the neck. “You were supposed to be back tomorrow.”
“I cut the meeting short.” He murmured.
He was right here, standing in front of her and she was having a ridiculous conversation with him. She went mad! With a deep moan she jumped into his arms, her mouth moving over his with a desperation that could not be equaled. He had to hold her to keep them from tumbling to the floor and he returned her kiss with the same desperation he received.
She was wearing a wine red silk blouse and he used his hands to tear it off her, scattering the buttons on the floor and buried his head in her bosom, his mouth searching for her breasts like a suckling baby seeking food.
She cried out as he pulled a nipple inside his mouth and she grabbed onto his hair for leverage. They did not make it to the bedroom and as near as the sofa was, they were unable to make it there too. He fell with her to the floor, his body cushioning hers as they desperately got rid of the rest of their clothes.
He placed her on his aching erection and she leaned forward and looked at him, not believing that he was here and was inside her. He held her hips as she started moving over him. His thrusts were rapid and turbulent and they fought with each other as their bodies ground together. He switched position and was on top of her, lifting her legs to his shoulders as he pounded inside her with a force that was almost punishing. She wanted it, she needed to feel him and she did not want to stop.
