The words seemed to settle her and the bruise on his soul eased, but the fear that had torn him open refused to heal. He’d made a hell of a lot of mistakes in his life—beginning with trusting Stanley—and it had nearly cost him the best thing to ever happen to him.
“Later,” Sam said in answer to Jimmy’s question. “Let’s go home.”
They said little on the ride back, but Cody came to ride side by side with Jason and glanced down at the woman in his arms. “She’s strong. She’ll be all right.”
“I hope so.” Because in failing to protect her, he’d let her be hurt and Jason would never forgive himself for it.
“I offered to turn her.” The comment jerked Jason’s attention upward and he stared at the wolf. Cody didn’t flinch. “The shift might have been an answer to her blindness, might yet answer it. Either way, she would be stronger.”
Beneath the cool offer was a depth of generosity Jason hadn’t expected, but he read between the lines of the wolf’s statement. “She wouldn’t want to do it. Her heart is far too gentle.”
“No,” Cody agreed. “She didn’t want to do it. I told her then and I’ll tell you now—the offer remains open. We have few gifts we know we can give to others. I can do this for her. For both of you.”
A part of him rebelled at the entire idea. She was his to protect, no one else’s. Another part, a more rational section of his mind, acknowledged the sanity in the idea. “It has to be her decision.” It was all he could afford to give on the matter. There was something else he could do. “Mariska came to me. She asked me about the other Fevered I’d met. She’s worried about something, about being a female shifter. She didn’t say that exactly, but I caught the gist of her questions.”
“What did you tell her?” The wolf glanced at his mate where she ranged ahead of them.
“That I didn’t know any and that was true then.” Stanley had known of many other Fevered, though. When Jason had time to sort through all he’d learned, maybe he would have an answer. “I might have a lead on some now.”
“Tell me first.” It wasn’t a request.
“Don’t offer to change Olivia again without me there.”
Man to wolf, they reached an accord.
“Done.” Cody nodded once. “And understand I say all of this with the full knowledge that you’re nearly as scary as Wyatt.”
Tacit admiration underscored that statement and Jason felt the beginnings of a faint smile. It hadn’t been a compliment, but a sign of respect. He could live with that choice. As long as he had Olivia, he could live with anything.
Chapter 14
Olivia, The Flying K
Noah tucked the blanket in around her and rose. “She’ll be fine. Her hands sustained only minor injuries, but I healed them anyway.” Patient kindness decorated the healer’s voice. “She needs rest, food, and plenty of water.”
“You’re certain?” Jason hadn’t given her a moment’s peace since she’d woken to discover she was back in his room. He’d bathed her, tended her hands, and sent for Noah, but Jason hadn’t left her side. His clipped tone and chilliness had warmed a fraction, but beneath it all was an anguish that broke Olivia’s heart.
Was he even aware of the sound? “Jason, leave Noah alone.” She patted the bed next to her. “Come here and entertain me.”
Noah snorted with laughter, but quickly swallowed the sound. “Go spend time with your wife. I will be back in the morning to check on her.” Olivia imagined he’d told Jason that just to quiet his worry.
Bless the healer. He was a kind man, but she wanted to be alone with her husband. “Thank you, Noah,” she repeated. “My hands feel so much better.”
The last brought Jason to the bed and she felt the mattress depress just before Jason caught her fingers. He inspected them with a careful touch and she waited until the door closed and the sound of Noah’s fading footsteps indicated he moved away.
“They do look better…” But his doubts and sadness lingered.
“Tell me,” she ordered.
“You need to sleep—” He silenced when she sat forward and pressed her fingers to his lips.
“Tell. Me.” Something terrible had happened and it coated everything he said.
“You were taken.” The emptiness in his voice was a physical thing. “I didn’t know until after, but I heard you. You called me and I wasn’t here.”
The self-loathing crawling through those last seven words tore her apart. “But you found me and I knew you would.”
It had never been a doubt. Even when she woken up and attempted to escape the room they’d put her in, she’d known Jason was coming. Something in the cloth they’d put over her made her sick and she’d been ill more than once, it was why she’d passed out. Or at least, she thought so. She wouldn’t discuss those details.
“It was my fault…”
“No it wasn’t.” She would accept many truths from Jason, but not this one.
“Olivia, he came after you because of me.”
“No, he came after me because he was hungry for control over you. That isn’t your fault. He used you. He abused your trust. He twisted your innocence. He’s made you question whether your family ever cared about you and he used everything you loved to make you into a weapon.” She’d paid very close attention to every detail Jason had given her—and those he’d fought to keep back. “He came after me because I was a threat to his control.” She let a certain amount of smugness bleed into her tone and smiled. “Because you belong to me. Not him.”
Jason shuddered once and his hand flexed around hers. “Possessive little thing, aren’t you?” The emptiness fractured.
“You’re my husband. I listened to the list of vows for their specificity.” When he chuckled at her teasing, she settled back against the pillows. “Tell me what happened.”
“You’re exhausted,” he argued.
“Then you should indulge me so I can comfort and support you, then I can go to sleep.”
A long silence met her pronouncement, then Jason chuckled once more. “Possessive and demanding.”
“And you’re delaying the inevitable. Tell. Me.” With Jason, and only with him, she had to never give an inch. He needed someone who would not be put off by his need to protect others or let him drift too long. He needed to remember he was not alone and he never would be again.
After another protracted silence, he relented and told her what had happened with Stanley, his father, Sam, and the fort. She didn’t interrupt him once, nor did she let him go. In every syllable, she heard the quiet certainty he held that she would repudiate him for his choices. When he was finished, she beckoned him closer and melted into his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. His grip almost tentative as if he worried about her hurting her.
“I’m not,” she told him firmly. “I’m glad that man can never hurt you again. If I could have, I would have killed him myself.”
“Olivia…”
“No.” She pulled away and caught his face in her hands. “I mean it. I wanted to kill him the moment he came into the salon to speak to me. I heard it in his voice, a coldness of purpose, an anger he didn’t want anyone else to see. I knew he was dangerous. I said nothing to him because I didn’t dare incite him. He wanted to hurt you and he used me to do it. I hate him and I am glad he is dead. The last thing I ever wanted to be was a weakness for you.”
“Too late.” Softness, not reprimand, gentled his tone. “You have always been my weakness and my strength. Nothing broke me until I thought I’d lost you.”
Maybe it was time… “Cody offered…”
“…to change you. He told me.” Jason sighed and kissed her palm. “He also said you told him no.”
Olivia bowed her head, she’d steeled herself to tell him that truth because it had haunted her when she woke up in that strange room. The question of it all. What if she had allowed Cody to change her? What if—what if she couldn’t survive? What if it didn’t work? “I would never make such a
decision without talking to you.”
“I know.” He stroked a hand through her hair and then tucked a curl behind her ear.
Swallowing hard, she fought against the tiredness aching in her very bones. “Jason, I want to be strong enough to help you. Maybe if we allowed him to bite me, I would be.”
“Would be what?” The lack of inflection threw her. She expected anger or perhaps an immediate refusal.
“Better.” She hated the word, the very idea of it. Yes, she was blind, but she could do things no sighted person could do. She heard things they couldn’t and possessed an understanding of the world unique to herself. Hadn’t she traveled across the country twice? And been taken from her own home because she’d been so focused on one set of sounds, she’d never heard the other man.
“Impossible.” This time she heard his smile. “You are already perfect.”
“You know what I meant.” She frowned. “I’m a vulnerability. Too vulnerable. Maybe I shouldn’t—” She couldn’t say the next words, loathed even thinking them.
“Be careful, Olivia. You’re my wife. Nothing will change that. Whether you decide you wish to attempt Cody’s bite,” and dislike bottomed out the words. “Or not. You are mine.”
The cool snarl weaving through his tone made her feel better. “I never want you to be disappointed or to regret choosing me.”
“How can I regret the keeper of my heart?” He stroked her cheek. “Do you not yet realize that without you, I’m not truly alive? I exist, yes. But you’ve had my heart since the day I met you.”
Suitably chastised, she settled back against the pillows. “I had to ask.”
“Never ask it again.” It was an order she would willingly obey. “You need to sleep. I will be here when you wake.”
“You need to talk to your father.” It was a matter he needed to settle, for himself and for his family.
“I will,” he promised. “When someone is here who can watch over you.”
Sleep wanted to claim her, but she fended it off. “You’re going to be even more protective now, aren’t you?” Before he’d always supported her independence.
“For a little while, yes.” He stroked her hair. “You will indulge me.”
Olivia laughed. “Kiss me?”
He brushed his mouth across hers, a whisper of a touch. “Go to sleep.”
“Hmm. I will give you two weeks.” She decided with a half-smile and closed her eyes.
“Until?” Wry amusement chased the word.
“I assert my independence again. You’ve earned the peace and quiet.”
“Gracious.” He laughed and banished the lingering shadows.
“I love you.” She yawned and stopped fighting the exhaustion. Jason kept stroking her hair. He’d more than earned it. Maybe she would give him a month.
She didn’t tell him that, though. It was better if he thought he only had a couple of weeks. They’d both have more fun with it then.
Jason, The Flying K
Sam closed the doors to the library after Jason entered. “How is she?”
“Sleeping. Mariska and Scarlett are both up there.” It had taken both women to bully him into leaving. Between the two of them, no one would get anywhere near Olivia. Still, he glanced at the closed doors and scanned the house. Recognizing every mind present, he shifted his focus to beyond the walls. Tension corded through every muscle.
“Have a drink.” Micah put a tumbler in his hand. “And a seat. You look like you’re about to fall over.”
He hadn’t slept in the two days. Couldn’t. Each time his eyes closed, he saw everything that could have happened to her. “I don’t think drinking would be a good idea.”
“Sit down, Jason.” Jed didn’t bark the order, but sighed it instead. The weariness in his tone wore at Jason’s resistance. He took a spot on the corner of one sofa with Sam and Micah taking the sofa opposite him. Odd to have all of them in one place and yet familiar. Still, they were missing Kid and he should have been there, too.
“I’m sitting, Pa.” Jason studied his father. He’d aged ten years in the last two days, from the hard lines around his eyes to the deep grooves carved into the corners of his mouth. “Are you all right?”
“No, I’m not.” Jed sat forward and he looked from one son to the next. “I’ve done wrong by all of you.”
“Pa,” Sam shook his head. “You didn’t know about Stanley.”
“That’s the point, Samuel. I should have known. I brought that man into this house. I’ve known him for decades, considered him an ally and a friend.” Their father couldn’t quite look at Jason. “I let all of you down.”
Micah tossed back his drink and set the glass on the table. “We all considered him an ally. We trusted him. He made a muck of it, Pa. Not you.”
None of them were comfortable with Jed’s depression or his self-flagellation. He was the strongest man they knew and he’d made a mistake. Jason could hardly fault him for it. Not when Jason had trusted the army colonel. “The man was skilled in seeing the world the way he wanted to, he cultivated our trust and knew how to use our weaknesses against us.” What was family, but their greatest weakness?
“No, the bastard used my family. Our family is not weak.” Renewed vigor filled him and Jed finally met Jason’s gaze. “But I kept the truth from you boys and I shouldn’t have.”
That part Jason understood better than anyone. “You tried to protect us the best way you knew how. The world has monsters in it and you kept the monsters at bay—”
“No, I didn’t. I brought one of them in this house. If you’d known…dammit.” Jed swore and surged to his feet. “I set the tone. I raised you boys to be better than this and then I lied to you.”
Their father rarely used colorful language in the house. It was an old rule.
Molly’s rule.
“You didn’t lie, Pa. You just didn’t tell us the whole of the truth.” He’d had time to work through that part of it and recognized it for exactly what it was. A lie of omission may still be a lie, but it had been done to protect his children.
“That doesn’t make it forgivable.” Jed stared at him. “You and Kid, you were both in danger and I didn’t see it.”
“Because neither of us said anything to you. We also lied.” Keen understanding came with hindsight. “You tried to keep the monsters at bay, you didn’t want us to know what truly scary things occupied our world. Sometimes—” And it cost him to say this. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t know.”
“Maybe it’s time for some hard truths from all of us,” Sam entertained out loud. “We can’t pretend the world hasn’t changed. Two and a half years ago, we didn’t know the Fevered existed. Well, some of us didn’t know.” He glanced from their father to Jason. “Some of us have been living in the shadows too long. We have enemies and, if nothing else has been made clearer by all of this, not all of our enemies are Fevered.”
“The Army. MacPherson. Who knows who else is out there?” Micah scrubbed a hand over his face. “We’re talking about a potential war.”
“No, not a potential one.” Jed braced his hands on the back of his chair. “It is war and we’ve fought skirmishes and battles. The greater fight is still to come.”
“MacPherson.” Jason put down the drink. “He isn’t finished with any of us. He knows of my existence. We know he knows about the Morning Stars. They’ll come for them again.” It was only a matter of when, but he no longer had the luxury of independent action. “My plan was to deal with that as soon as the town was secure.”
“Your plan?” Sam raised his brows, but Jason had the attention of all three.
“Yes, my plan. I know the structure of his organization. I know what contacts to tap into and I can find him. I know where he keeps his homes.” The man moved, constantly. A moving target was far more difficult to pin down. The ranch was a good example of a stationary target.
Micah’s gaze bored into him. “Alone?”
“Yes. Alone.” The need to protect them weigh
ed heavily on his shoulders, but holding back protected less than he’d once believed. With a sigh, Jason looked from his brothers to his father and back. “Killing MacPherson will likely be a suicide mission. I believe I have the ability to do it—” He held up his hand when the explosion of oaths came from his family. “—and when I believed it would only be me that would die, I was more than willing to undertake the task to protect us.”
“You dying doesn’t protect us. It’s a sacrifice.” Flint was softer than Sam’s expression.
“Yes,” Jason agreed, not bothering to soften the information. “One I would gladly make to protect our family. It’s what I’m good at, the only thing I’m good at.”
“You did not marry Olivia with the intention to kill yourself.” Micah scowled at him.
One corner of Jason’s mouth quirked upward. “No, but I accepted the idea I would only have a short time with her and I knew you would all look after her.”
“Jason Kane, I will horsewhip you, personally, if you ever make such a cockamamie dumb suggestion again.” Jed’s implacable voice jerked their attention to him. “You are not sacrificing yourself.”
“Pa, MacPherson is dangerous and, worse, he will not stop. Losing only angers him further, drives him to find a wedge or a key.”
“I am well aware of MacPherson.” Jed’s fierce expression didn’t ease. “You forget, I have met the man. He is the reason you and your brother are Fevered.”
He’d forgotten nothing, but before he could respond Sam stood. “Stop. We’re all on one side in this—our side. Our family’s side. It doesn’t matter what happened when other than we need to pool this information. We need to know what you know Jason and what you know Pa. I’ll start. What I know—a war is coming. A war between freedom, power, and control. No matter our differences, the next generation of Kanes will be Fevered. I know Molly and Cobb show no signs yet, but Scarlett introduced the babies to Cate.”
Silence filled the hollow between them. Jason didn’t need to read his brother’s mind to know what they’d found. “They sparkle.”
Wanted: Fevered or Alive Page 27
