by Abigail Agar
“N-no! Nothing improper. She is a very pure and chaste woman and I am just—”
“Enough! Who are you? What sort of man does these things? Why would you do this? How dare you meet with her? And you! Eleanor, you foolish, waste of a girl! I cannot believe you would risk the arrangements I have made to marry you off all for some random man you have stumbled upon in your attempts to feel important,” her aunt seethed.
“Aunt Glenda, please! It is not what you think! I promise you, it is not what you think. There is nothing going on which is improper. We have simply been trying to fix up Mother and Father’s home. That is all!” Ellie shouted.
“You expect me to believe that? You are worse than your mother. She sunk to marrying that urchin of a father of yours and now you have done even worse. I cannot imagine what nonsense goes on in your head. Get out of here! Go home!” her aunt shouted.
“Please, allow me to explain to all of you who I am,” Mr. Potts said, holding up a hand to bring peace.
Her aunt would have none of it.
“I know who you are! You are the sort of man who takes advantage of a girl foolhardy enough to be alone with a man in an old, falling apart house. Her father could not provide for her and you will not either. You think I would ever listen to a word you say? Never! Get out of here! You shall never see Eleanor again,” her aunt shouted.
“Please—”
“Out!” she raged.
Before Ellie could say anything more in her defense, her uncle grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her up over his shoulder.
“No! Uncle Abel, put me down! Put me down!” she yelled.
He silently carried her regardless. Her uncle hardly ever spoke to her, hardly ever made his presence known around her. Now, in this moment, he was more than willing to drag her away from the man who meant everything to her. He was more than willing to bring an end of her joy and to push her beyond what she thought she could bear. He did not care, nor did her aunt. Ellie tried as hard as she could to understand them, to be good for them. She had tried to change, but she could not.
And now, without a care, they had pulled her away from the man who meant more to her than anyone else in all the world.
“Mr. Potts!” she cried.
“I shall come for you!” he promised, calling back to her.
“You shall never see her again!” her aunt shouted in reply.
Ellie’s uncle pulled her into a coach and she could not escape. Her aunt climbed in as well and closed the door before tapping the roof to alert the coachman that they should go.
“Shame on you, girl. We even had to get a coach to be sure that the neighbors do not see us arriving home with you in this state. What do you think Mrs. Carruthers is going to think of this? Do you think she will ever forgive you for betraying Wendell this way?” her aunt asked.
“Wendell Carruthers does not love me any more than I love him,” she hissed.
“And why do you think that is? You, girl, are not lovable. That is why. You are awful. You are a waste. We have had to fight so hard to care for you when we truly dislike everything about you,” her aunt said, finally releasing every bit of anger she had always tried to refrain from sharing. Ellie always knew these things were in her aunt’s heart, however. It was no surprise to her to finally hear them stated aloud.
“Why did you come and get me? You could have let me stay and you could have simply forbidden me from returning home. You know I do not want to live with you and you do not want me there either. I would be fine living on my own in Mother and Father’s home,” she said, trying to reason with them.
“Your mother and father’s home? That belongs to us, Ellie. We took you in and now everything that was theirs, everything that would have passed to you if you had been a boy, it is ours. Do not pretend to be so naive. We would never let you just live there on your own. If people found out? It would make us look worse,” she said.
“How? How is it worse than dragging me, screaming, from the home?” Ellie asked in fury.
“Because we have to look after you since you are an orphan. That is our obligation. And if people found out that we did not, they would think poorly of us. Beyond that, if you were on your own, heaven knows what mess you would get yourself into. Walking around barefoot, playing with the animals, being alone with a man. What do you expect? Do you think those things are acceptable in society? Do you think anyone would allow for that?” her aunt asked.
“But why? Why, why, why did you come for me? You hardly care what happens to me so does it really matter at all?” she asked.
“You are supposed to be marrying Wendell Carruthers because I have arranged for it. So, yes, it makes us all look bad if you do anything different,” her aunt said.
At last, Ellie gave up. Her aunt did not understand and Ellie was broken beyond repair. How could she explain to these people who did not know anything about her? They knew nothing about how her mother and father had raised her and they could not possibly care about her. She could fight with her last breath, but they would not care.
“How did you know?” she asked, fearing that Katherine had told her mother about Ellie being in love with someone else. Katherine did not know about the meetings at the old house.
“I overheard you speaking with my daughter about loving another man. You pitiful fool, how could you be such a terrible example to her? You encouraged her to disregard us through your own sneaking around,” her aunt hissed.
“Katherine is capable of her own thoughts,” Ellie said.
“And you gave her the idea that she should follow love as opposed to security. It was the same foolish notion which persuaded your mother to marrying your father. I want better for my daughter,” her aunt said.
“Well, that is fine for you, but I want Katherine to be happy,” Ellie said.
“Happy enough to secretly meet with a man like you did? We pretended to leave, even left Katherine with another friend. And then, Abel and I had to waste our own day, following you to the house and listening to figure out exactly what was going on. When we heard that you and this man were speaking in such intimate terms, we could not allow it to go on any longer. You should have known that you would eventually get caught,” her aunt said.
“I did not care. I believe that there are better things in this world than caring about getting caught being happy. I want to be happy. I want to be loved. Why do you have such a problem with that?” Ellie asked.
“Because you are not being respectful of us. We have fought so hard to give you everything you have and you disregarded it all, Eleanor. We want nothing more to do with you. You are a foolish girl and I would be rid of you entirely if I could. Enough, now. No more, Eleanor. I do not wish to speak with you. Simply stay silent and you are to go to your room as soon as we return home,” her aunt said.
Ellie was fine with that. She had nothing more to say anyway. All she wanted was to be alone and to weep and mourn the fact that she would never have the life she truly wanted.
It was all lost now, gone, pulled from her fingertips. Her aunt and uncle could have whatever they wanted, whatever life they dreamt of. They could even try to convince Katherine to go along with it, but Ellie was her own person and she was not going to abide by these things.
She would find a way. She had to. Maybe, for a while, she would still be forced to do as they wished. But eventually, she would be happy and would find her own freedom. Whether that was before or after marrying Wendell Carruthers was the real question.
For that, she would truly have to put up a fight.
Chapter 27
Everything was falling apart. Miss Windsor was gone, pulled from his presence. Jonathan had been so close to being able to tell her everything, but now, she was gone entirely.
What could he do? How could he get her back when her aunt and uncle had taken her away? And what had her aunt been talking about when she said something about arranging a marriage for Miss Windsor? Was she supposed to be marrying someone? Was she engaged? Perha
ps he was not the only one keeping secrets.
Jonathan couldn’t imagine that she had really lied to him about all these things. It didn’t make any sense for her to not tell him that she was engaged. Indeed, they were hiding things, but she was not the sort who would be entirely disloyal. Surely there was more to the story than that. Maybe her aunt wanted her to get married but it had not yet been finalized?
He could not be sure, but Jonathan was determined that he and Miss Windsor would have to find their way back to one another and he would do whatever it took to make that happen. He could not bear the separation and how traumatic it had been just now for her to be taken away from him. All he really wanted was to make things right and for himself and Miss Windsor to have what they always should have had.
He loved her and he was not going to risk losing her for good.
All this required making some firm decisions. He had planned to be honest with her that day, to tell her everything. If only he had not taken so long, trying to convince her of his care for her! If he had not been so slow in telling her who he was, if he had not tried to shield it all behind how much he cared for her, they would have been able to get through this much sooner.
There was so much at stake that he had not anticipated. No longer was his mother his only obstacle.
And yet, she was still his greatest one. He could do nothing in the face of Miss Windsor’s aunt and uncle until he convinced his mother to let go of her anger and fury. She was the one who was really the problem he could control. Once he handled her, he could worry about the rest of it.
Jonathan returned to his mother, but this time, he was not patient in his approach. He arrived in the drawing room in the same mood he had been in when he left it two days prior.
“Mother,” he began. “I know that you think ill of me for loving a woman outside of nobility, but I no longer care. I have had enough of this. I am telling you now, once and for all, that the woman I love is the woman I am going to spend my life with. I have all manner of problems now that I must handle with her family and you need to know that I am no longer going to do battle with you as well.”
His mother looked at him with eyes full of an eerie calm.
“Is that so?” she asked.
“Yes, it is so. I have made my decision, Mother. I have had enough of this. All of it. I am going to marry her. That is all there is to it and you need to know that I shall not continue to be bullied by you. I understand that you have your own hopes and desires for me, but I am not going to pretend that it matters when the truth is that I care nothing for your anger,” he said.
“You care nothing for my anger?” she repeated, laughing. “Is that what you think this is? Anger? Oh, my son, if only you know what really lies beneath this. It is so far beyond simply being anger, you are going to be astonished when you learn what I really hold inside.”
Jonathan swallowed. He had never seen his mother like this. She was nearly drunk with the authority of her words and her ability to hold things over him.
“So, tell me, Mother. What do you hold inside?” he asked.
“I hold every bit of authority you may ever have, Jonathan. You think that because you are a duke, you get to have a say in your life? You think you have some sort of power because of your title? You believe that people will listen to you because you can walk up to them and your station is above theirs?” she asked.
“I never cared about those things,” he said.
“You say that, but only because it has never been tested. You have only what I allow you to have. Soon enough, if you continue on this path, you will be stripped of all that. Your title will still be yours, but it will mean nothing. Your friends will be ashamed to be seen with you. You will have nothing at all,” she said.
“How can you make these threats against me? I shall still have my own identity. And, Mother, whether it means something to me or not, I shall still have my wealth and status. You cannot take those things from me just by being angry. What do you expect to do?” he asked.
“Your reputation is in my hands. I have so much more authority in society than you realize, Jonathan. I am your mother. Do you know what that means? Do you know how we women gossip? Why do you think Lord Albright was not invited to the ball for Lord and Lady Hiddleston? It is because Lord Hiddleston’s mother learned that Lord Albright had stolen a piece of jewelry from his mother to settle a gambling debt. It happened fifteen years ago! Fifteen years ago, and he is now being punished for it all because one mother spoke to another mother,” she said.
“And you think I care about not being invited to a ball if anyone learns that the woman I love is not of noble birth?” he asked.
“It is not only about you, Jonathan. Yes, I have the power to see to it that you are not invited to anything anymore, but you have made clear that such a fate does not concern you. What must concern you is less what I have to say about you and more what I have to say about her,” she said.
At this, his skin prickled. Now, his mother was making threats against Miss Windsor. She did not yet even know this young woman, but had already come up with ways of preventing her from being accepted in society.
“Mother, what do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean that this is a young lady with whom you have been spending time. A young girl, an orphan. She does some sort of work which you still have not really shared with me—”
“She helps her aunt and uncle. There is nothing immoral in that,” he argued.
“But you can see where I am going with this? You can see where society will go with this? You try to introduce them to your girl who has no preceding reputation aside from that which I assign her and there is no hope whatsoever for her in this world, Jonathan,” she said.
He stood there for a moment, unable to respond. He had never known his mother could truly be this cruel. Her words were so far beyond anything he had expected from her that he was simply stunned into silence.
“It is your choice, my boy. How would you like me to handle this? Are you willing to let go of her on your own? Or do I have to ensure that there is nothing at all for her in society when you attempt to bring her some sort of status?” she asked. She took another sip of her tea and gave him the faintest hint of a bitter smile, a smirk fit for only the worst of enemies.
Was that was had become of them? Were he and his mother now enemies? That was certainly what it felt like. Nothing more could explain it. Jonathan was sure that he and his mother would never again have the sort of relationship they had long in the past.
Her determination to be accepted by a shallow society was more important to her than her own son. He ought to have known that sooner, and yet, he had ignored it for all this time. His mother was making a mockery of him.
“How could you possibly be this cruel?”
“It is easy, my boy. You are the one being cruel. I am trying to preserve everything your father struggled to gain for us. You are the one willing to waste it all on some little thing who means nothing to me at all. I have no desire to pretend otherwise. You should simply accept that you are not in control of this at all,” she said.
“I never claimed to be in control of it, but I did trust that you wanted me to be happy and you wanted what is best for me,” he said.
“I do want what is best for you. As for happiness, I do not know where you got the idea that I care anything at all about that. I am far more concerned about ensuring that you are able to take care of yourself and myself than you being happy with some woman you found in the streets,” she said.
“Not in the streets, Mother,” he insisted, angry that she would once again insinuate that Miss Windsor was anything but respectable.
“Well, Jonathan, the choice really is up to you. I shall publicly separate myself from you and ensure that she is viewed in the most dreadful way possible if you should do anything but cast her aside,” she said.
