“A doughnut?”
He patted his stomach and grinned. “What can I say? There’s always a little truth in every stereotype. And, really, who doesn’t love a doughnut now and then? My car is here. Why don’t you follow me in your vehicle?”
“I know I do.” As Angelina followed Nate to the little bakery, she berated herself for accepting his invitation. What had she been thinking? What would they even talk about? But he had taken a bullet for her. Saved her life. And if that wasn’t enough, he’d be kind enough to find Dr. Markley and her clinic. She really did owe him. The least she could do was have a cup of coffee with the man.
As Cooper said, start sowing seeds of kindness.
In the parking lot, Nate rushed around and opened her car door before she could. He smiled down at her. “I really can’t believe how good you look. That hair style is perfect for the new you. And I love the glasses.”
She touched her hair, feeling pleased that he liked it. “Thanks. The glasses are fake.”
“Fake? Why are you wearing them?”
“I thought they’d keep people from recognizing me.”
His smile was compassionate. “They work, because I almost walked right past you.”
She went through the door he opened.
They walked up to the counter, ordered their doughnuts and coffee, and then found a booth by a window. Once they had their order, Nate looked at her. “I wanted to check on you after you went to the clinic but I figured I’d give you some time. So how are you? Really?”
She stared at him, wondering if she should speak from her heart or just say the right words everyone wanted to hear. “It’s not really been that bad. I was being a bit of a dram—”
“Don’t even go there, Angelina. I didn’t invite you here so you could tell me what I want to hear. I want to know about you. What’s really going on?”
“PTSD.” She forced herself to look up from the doughnut. “At least that’s what the doctors called it.”
“That can be really tough.”
“You were right. I’d let Keren’s bedroom become another prison. But I’m working really hard to not let that happen again. I’m living back here, but Keren and Peter came along for some support.”
“Good for you. Sounds as if you’re taking the right steps.”
She was pleased that he was pleased. “That’s why I was at the school. Volunteering. Trying to think about someone other than myself.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“What about you? Why were you at the school?”
“Same reason. I go read to a different class every week.” He touched the shoulders of his uniform. “Always in my uniform. I want the kids to learn to trust policemen, not to be afraid of us.”
“That’s so nice.”
He winked. “Not all that nice. It really is fun for me. I enjoy the kids.”
“Yeah, I have to admit I had a good time today, too. The kids were so excited to have me there. I can’t remember the last time somebody was that happy to see me.”
“The Bible says unless you become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. So spending some time with kids seems like a good idea. Keeps me grounded. I can learn from them.”
“I don’t know many people like you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re always talking about God and the Bible. It must be a big part of your life.”
“It is. And I’m proud of it. How about you? Are you a Christian?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I mean I’m not really sure. It’s been a long time since I went to church or anything.”
He set his coffee cup down. “We should do something about that. How about church with me this Sunday?”
Church? She wasn’t quite ready for that yet, but maybe one day. “I…uh…I don’t think so.”
“No problem. If you change your mind, let me know.” He looked over at the counter. “I think I need one more of those chocolate doughnuts. How about you?”
She shook her head. “I better pass.”
He seemed so nice. So real. Genuine. Not like Zarlengo or any of her celebrity friends. Still she probably should call Zarlengo to let him know she was OK, and that she didn’t harbor any hard feelings. While she was at it, she should call back some of her other friends who’d called to check on her after…after Luther Marks.
When he was back with the doughnut, he sat down. “I’ll need to run an extra mile today.”
“Do you run?”
“Gotta stay fit in this job so I run a few times a week and go to the gym a couple of times as well.” He looked at her thoughtfully. “That might be a good idea for you.”
“You think I’m fat?”
“Not in the least, and you know it. If you’re fishing for a compliment, I’ll give it to you. You look terrific. He laughed. “But physical exercise is good for the soul as well as for the body.”
“I wasn’t fishing for anything.”
He winked. “Sure you weren’t.”
~*~
When she pulled into the drive, Keren rushed out to her car.
Angelina pulled into the six-car garage and stepped out.
“Where have you been?” Keren was breathless. “I was about to call out the National Guard to look for you. I’ve been worried to death.”
“I’m so sorry, Keren. I didn’t mean to worry you. I told you I might take a drive.”
“But I didn’t know it would be for that long. You’ve been gone for hours and hours. Where’d you go?” Keren demanded. Her voice had a note of fear.
It suddenly occurred to Angelina that her initial disappearance had affected Keren more strongly than she’d thought. Her cousin did love her, and the trauma of possibly losing someone was evident in her tone, despite the aggressiveness. Angelina tucked that thought away to examine later. “Certainly not where I expected. I ended up going to the elementary school and reading to some first graders.”
“You did what?”
Angelina explained her visit with Cooper and then the school.
Keren visibly relaxed and smiled as she listened. “Well, that sounds wonderful. It really does. Just make sure you don’t try to do too much too soon. You don’t want to get…umm…relive terrible things again.”
“And then I went out for coffee.”
“By yourself?”
“With a friend actually.” Angelina smiled. It felt good to say that.
“And who was that?”
Keren’s mother-hen attitude was a bit surprising to Angelina, who’d not really answered to anyone since her parents passed away. She’d need to talk with Keren about that sooner or later. Later was better. “I ran into Nate Goodman at the school. We went out for coffee and doughnuts.”
“Nate Goodman? He keeps popping up. Are you sure he’s not stalking you?”
Angelina’s heart rate jumped. “What an awful thing to say. He’s been so kind to me.”
“You’re right. I’m so sorry.” Keren looked ready to cry. “Blame it on me being worried. But why would you want to go anywhere with him? He’s just a cop.”
“Why not? And he asked me to go to church with him on Sunday.”
“Church?” Keren squeaked. “Are you going?”
“I might one of these days. He really is cute. And Nice. And so easy to talk to. But no, I told him I wasn’t ready to go to such a public place yet.”
“Can’t blame you for that. Besides how many people even go to church these days?”
“I have no idea. But I might check it out.”
Keren’s eyes widened. “Really? What could church possibly do for you?”
That was a good question. One Angelina hoped to find an answer to—soon.
14
“I went out on a date this week,” Rosie announced to the group as she set two containers of cookies in front of them. “Chocolate chip. And this other one is raisins and white chocolate.”
“I can’t tell you how happy I am that you find baking t
herapeutic, Rosie dear.” With one hand Max reached for a chocolate chip and with the other, reached for the raisin cookie.
Angelina had come for this third meeting, and she was feeling slightly more comfortable. Everyone was so kind. So understanding. No one tried to tell her what she should or shouldn’t feel.
Stephen picked up a cookie. “Wow. That’s real progress, Rosie. I remember when you said you’d never marry, let alone date again. So how’d it go?”
“Oh, not well. Not well at all, I’m afraid.” She frowned. “But I went out on the date, so that’s a victory in itself, right? Even if I didn’t have fun.”
Curiosity got the better of Angelina. “Why didn’t you have fun? What happened?”
“Well, everything was fine at first. He took me to a nice restaurant in Canton and then…” Rosie sat down as she gave a dramatic pause. “Then the waitress brought over the menus. And that’s when things started to go downhill.”
“Why?”
“When she handed me a menu, my date snatched it out of my hand and gave it back to her. He told her that he would order for me.” She grabbed a chocolate chip cookie. “Now, keep in mind we barely know each other and he has no idea what I like or don’t like.”
“What did you do?” Fred asked as he picked up a few cookies.
“I very politely told him that I was a picky eater and wanted to look at the menu. He gave me a look and said that was a surprise, and then went on to say that he assumed I liked to eat most anything.”
“Oh, no. How awful,” Angelina said. She’d had a few dates like that.
“What’s wrong with that?” Fred asked before he stuffed the whole cookie in his mouth.
“Men.” Rosie rolled her eyes and looked at Angelina. “You get it, don’t you?”
Angelina nodded. “Oh, I get it. So what did you do?”
“Well…I looked at him for a moment. Then I said, ‘you’re right.’ I do like to eat most anything, but I’m very picky about who I eat it with. Then I got up and marched out of the restaurant.”
“Way to go, Rosie. Don’t you let that man put you down like that. We love you just the way you are. Wouldn’t change a thing about you,” Max said between bites. “How’d you get home if you were in Canton?”
“Called a taxi.”
Angelina thought about that moment when she’d chosen to walk over to Luther’s limo instead of waiting for a taxi. She shuddered. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to take a limo or a taxi again. Heat washed over her, and the air turned close, stuffy. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to find her next breath.
Rosie pointed at Angelina. “Do you think I was being too sensitive?”
Don’t think about it. Angelina struggled to take a deep breath without anyone noticing and shook her head so they’d not notice her distress. “Not at all, Rosie.” Luther can’t hurt me anymore.
Fred looked over at Rosie. “I still don’t get what was so bad.”
Stephen shook his head. “Fred, he was telling her she was fat. That she ate too much.”
“Ohhh…that wasn’t nice. At all.” Fred smiled. “I don’t think you’re fat. I think you’re just right.”
“Thanks, Fred. But you’re way too young for me.” Rosie’s laugh tinkled through the room.
“My wife wouldn’t like that anyway. But Max is a bachelor. What about you, Stephen? Are you married?”
“Divorced.”
“You weren’t being too sensitive, Rosie. He was just downright rude.” Angelina took a nibble of the chocolate chip. “You should start a bakery.”
“That’s good to know. I wasn’t sure. Not about the bakery. About my date. But maybe a bakery is a good idea, too.”
The door opened.
Nate Goodman walked in.
What was he doing here?
He looked at her, seeming to be as surprised as she was. But then he looked away. “Sorry I’m late. What did I miss?”
“Oh, not much. Just Rosie telling us how she put her date in his place,” Fred said. “I don’t know exactly why, but everyone else seems to think it was the right thing to do.”
Max laughed. “You are clueless, buddy. Clueless. How did you ever get a woman to date you, let alone marry you?”
Nate smiled, but his eyes were still focused on her. “I see we have some newcomers since the last time I was here. I’m Nate. Cooper and I take turns with the meetings.”
Nate was the leader of the meeting? No wonder he kept saying the same things. Now it made sense. Nate turned to Rosie. “So you went on a date. That’s awesome.”
“But it didn’t go well.”
“Why?”
“Angelina says it was his fault,” Fred said as he reached for another cookie.
“That’s good enough for me. Who’s Angelina?” He gave her a questioning glance.
Angelina hid her smile, thankful Nate hadn’t outed her in front of the group. On the other hand, Dr. Markley had told her she had nothing to be ashamed of.
And Nate was the hero of her story. He shouldn’t have to hide that fact from the group. It seemed dishonest. She took a deep breath. “It’s OK, Nate. They might as well know the truth.”
Nate’s expression went from surprise to proud.
She’d done the right thing. That made her feel good as if she’d accomplished something important.
“What truth?” Fred asked.
She stared, not ready to tell them the whole story yet.
Nate stepped in. “Angelina and I have had a few dealings with each other before.”
“Oooh,” Fred said. “I know what that means. I’ve been on the wrong side of the law way too many times myself. But no more.”
“It wasn’t like that, Fred,” Nate replied. “So Angelina says it wasn’t your fault, Rosie.”
“That’s what she says. And I believe her.” Rosie explained the situation to Nate.
“So that wasn’t just a baby step, Rosie. That was a huge step. And even more huge that you recognized he wasn’t right for you, and that you didn’t let him get away with being rude. I’m very proud of you.”
“That’s true. I did that.”
“Anybody else take any baby steps they’d like to share?”
“I started volunteering at a school.” Angelina smiled at the group. “Cooper told us we should start thinking about other people, not just our problems.”
Nate smiled. “Wonderful idea.”
“Well, I’m not doing all that much. I just read them a book and talk to them a little bit.”
After a prayer, he passed out the index cards to write the verse of the week. “Isaiah 28:10: ‘For it is precept upon precept, line upon line, here a little, there a little’. Anybody want to tell me what they think this means?”
Stephen spoke up. “I guess it’s saying nothing happens instantly. We learn a little, then a little more, and then a little more. One step at a time. Or as you’ll say, baby steps.”
Cooper nodded. “Exactly. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and we won’t get healthy in a day. One day at a time. Just like Rosie going out on her first date and Angelina volunteering. One step forward can get that clock unstuck and moving in the right direction again. And as Rosie proved, it doesn’t have to be perfect to be progress.”
“Good to know,” Fred said. “My wife’s talking about letting me move back in. But only in the guest room. She’s says she’s proud that I’ve kept this job for two months. But it’s such a nowhere job.”
“Moving back in is an amazing step. One step at a time. She probably wants to see if she can trust you or not.”
“Oh, she can. I’m done with drinking and get-rich schemes. All I want is a good job that lets me take care of my family the way they deserve.”
Before she even realized what she was doing, Angelina spoke up. “Speaking of jobs, I heard that they’re hiring at Diamond. You should put in an application, Fred. That’s a good place to work, isn’t it?”
“Sure I’d love to work there, but chances are t
hey won’t hire a guy with my record.”
She made a mental note to call the plant manager first thing in the morning. “You never know. They might. At least put in an application. It’s worth a shot.”
“Fine, I will.”
She smiled, pleased that she could really help someone and make a difference. It was a good feeling.
The discussion continued.
As the group was about to break up, Angelina found her courage. “I… I…uh…thought it was time to tell the group what happened. To me.”
“Only if you’re ready, Angelina. We don’t want you to tell us until you’re ready. There’s no pressure here. Ever.”
“I’m ready.”
“OK, take your time.”
Fred pointed at the container. “And a cookie. They help.”
With a forced smile, she picked up a cookie. A sigh escaped. “I…I don’t even know how to begin. I told myself I’d tell the group what happened tonight. But I didn’t actually think about what I’d say.” She snapped the cookie in two. “I guess I should have thought about that.”
“You don’t have to tell us, Angelina.” Rosie put a protective arm around her. “It’s OK.”
Tears filled Angelina’s eyes. “No, I want to tell.” But after she did, they wouldn’t look at her the same. Keren and Peter still handled her differently. Still, she wanted to get better, and this was part of the process. “I need to tell you. I…I…” Her voice dropped off.
This was harder than she’d expected. She crammed the cookie in her mouth to buy time. After she ate it and before she could change her mind, she blurted out the story. “I guess maybe the easiest way to tell you is to tell you the name I used to go by. Until a few months ago, I used the name Ange Matthews.”
Nobody said anything for a moment.
“You mean that Ange Matthews.” Stephen broke the silence. “The woman who was kidnapped?”
She dared to look up.
They all stared at her with a mixture of expressions. Shock, surprise, compassion, and even sadness, painted their faces.
Rosie looked at her, then at Nate. “Oh, my,” Rosie said as she made the connection between the two of them. Then she pushed the chocolate chip cookie plate toward her. “Have another cookie, dear.”
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