He remembered how she had looked last night when she came to supper, wearing a flannel gown, her hair still wet, combed back from her delicate face. It was the most feminine he had seen her since coming up here, and he could still smell the lingering scent of lilacs.
“Damn!” he cursed under his breath as he took another swing at some rock that was softer than that he had dug through the last few weeks. A few more chunks fell, but he saw nothing interesting. He would sift through it later. He stopped to wipe his face with a bandana, then took a drink from a jug of water sitting nearby. He had dug his way roughly four more feet into the mountain, adding to what John Sebastian had already dug. He was about eight feet in totally, and he wondered if he shouldn’t start putting in some kind of supports. He dropped the pickax and walked out of the man-made cave to go to the cabin and get a hatchet. “I’m going to cut and strip a few pines for support posts,” he yelled to Allyson.
Allyson waved to him, watching him after he turned away. The hard work was putting even more muscle on his hard, lean body, and whenever Ethan wasn’t looking she found herself staring at him, wondering if a more perfect specimen of man existed anyplace on earth. She could not help wondering how he must feel about her by now, if he really still didn’t want her, or if he was just being stubborn. He had been every bit the gentleman, making no moves toward her at all. Was it because he really had no desire for her, or was he just being proud and stubborn? Maybe he was afraid…afraid, like she was. She didn’t want to hurt that way again, and it was obvious Ethan didn’t either. Both of them had suffered great losses already.
Ethan removed his shirt as he walked away with the hatchet in his hand. She studied his narrow hips and rippling muscles, his brown skin shining in the ray of sunlight that hit his shoulders before he disappeared around a bend in the trail that led away from the cabin. He could look so dark and menacing, but when he smiled, when those eyes twinkled with humor, he was most handsome of all. Still, those moments were rare, and she knew he often thought about his relatives in the North, wondering if he should be with them. Would he leave her after all? And if she threw herself at him to get him into her bed in order to make him stay, would he think she was trying to trick him again?
Of course he would. He would think she was prostituting herself again. He would never believe she wanted him just for himself, that she feared losing Ethan Temple more than she feared losing her claim: but for now she could not give up that claim. She was sure they were close to hitting the big one, and inviting Ethan Temple to her bed just might scare him off. She couldn’t let that happen. She needed him.
For the next two hours Ethan chopped away at medium-sized pine trees, hacking off all the branches and dragging the poles to the cave, laying them in a pile. Finally, covered with sweat, he came over near her and walked into the cold creek water, then sat right down in it and lay back, splashing water over his chest and face and letting out a wild war whoop from relief.
“I’ll cut some more poles in a couple of days,” he told her. “We’re also going to need firewood, and lots of it. I won’t be able to dig every day, Ally, with all the cutting I’ve got to do.”
Allyson threw another shovel full of dirt from the creek’s bottom into the sluice and began rocking it, every day hoping that pure golden nuggets would fall through the rocker into the cleats beneath it, but the only thing she caught were tiny particles of gold that had to be put into the jars of water so they would separate from worthless gangue. “You’re on your own schedule, and you’ve worked pretty hard these last few weeks. You dig when you want, and cut wood when you want. I need both.”
I need both. Ethan wondered at the remark. She needs her big Indian buck to do the hard work. That’s all I’m here for, he told himself. He wanted to believe that. It made staying away from her easier. Didn’t she realize how hard she was making it for him when she wore her blouse half unbuttoned because of the heat? Didn’t she know he could easily see the outline of her breasts beneath that blouse? Every morning and every night she dressed and undressed while he stayed outside. Today he wondered if she had bothered to put on a camisole under her blouse. He could swear the thin blouse was the only thing she was wearing, and baggy as her pants were, it did little to hide the shape of the slender hips under them.
He splashed himself for a few more minutes, needing to keep cool more ways than one. He wasn’t sure why she seemed more tempting than ever today. Maybe it was that damn blouse. One more button and something would spill out of it. Was she really just hot, or was she deliberately enticing him? He got up and walked back toward the cave. He had to stop looking at her. “I’m going to dig a while longer, then quit for the night.”
Allyson watched him walk away. His wet denim pants clung to his firm thighs and buttocks, and he looked darker than she had known him, from working so much out of doors with no shirt on. He turned and looked back at her, caught her staring. She blushed and looked away, wondering if he was suffering as much as she. Moments later she heard the rhythmic hammering of the pick. She began picking through the particles that had fallen into the cleats of the sluice, then straightened when Ethan suddenly shouted her name. “Allyson! Come up here!”
Allyson dropped everything and ran, her heart pounding. What had he found? When she reached the small cave, she noticed water trickling right out of the back wall where he had most recently been cutting. “Look here,” he exclaimed. He walked out into the fading sunlight, his pants and skin and hair still a little wet from the creek bath. He held out his hand. “This is the biggest chunk we’ve found yet.” He held out a huge chunk of rock that glittered in several places with what looked like gold.
“Maybe it’s pyrite,” she told him, afraid to believe it could be what it looked like.
Ethan pulled a pocket knife from his pants and opened it, then pried out one of the glittering particles. He stuck it between his teeth and bit down, then smiled. “It’s gold,” he told her, holding it out to show his teeth marks. Its softness told Allyson all she needed to know. She ran back into the cave and held up a lamp to study the fresh diggings. She saw more glitter.
“Ethan, this is the biggest chunk of gold I’ve found yet! There must be a vein farther in somewhere. There has to be!” She set down the lamp and turned to hug him. “Oh, Ethan, thank you! I never could have dug in this far by myself. We’ll be rich! We’ll be rich! I just know it!”
Ethan ached at the feel of her breasts crushed against his bare chest. There was nothing between his skin and hers but a thin blouse. He moved his arms around her, laughed with her, carried her outside to whirl her around and celebrate with her. She flung her head back and their eyes met, and suddenly their smiles faded. “Maybe we’ve found more than gold,” he said.
“Ethan, I—”
He cut off her words with a hot, demanding kiss, a kiss she welcomed, relished, returned with a burning passion she could no longer suppress. This was the Ethan she had truly been searching for. She wrapped her legs around his waist, never leaving his lips for a moment as he carried her into the cabin.
25
There was no right or wrong to it, no blaming for old hurts or wondering about ulterior motives. It was simply something that had to be. Allyson had never wanted a man this way. It was different from her wedding night, for then she had only resigned herself to submitting because she was his wife. Now the desire was there without the necessity of foreplay or words of love or even commitment. Now it was simply a ravishing hunger to be woman, to satisfy this man who had always been so helpful and forgiving, and whose very presence brought out a passion that she once was sure she would never feel for any man.
Nothing was said. She only knew she could not stop kissing him, could not get enough of the feel of his strong arms embracing her. She ran her hands over the hard muscle of his shoulders and arms, returning his kisses with a frenzy as he carried her to her cot, where she simply lay back and allowed him his pleasure, taking her own delight in return as he moved on top of her,
caressing and licking her face, her neck. His kisses journeyed downward, his strong hands quickly tearing her thin blouse away from her breasts so he could take a pink nipple into his mouth and savor it with groaning satisfaction.
Allyson grasped his hair, arching up to him, feeling overwhelmed with an insatiable desire to feed him, powerful feelings of pure lust making her bolder than she thought possible. This was Ethan, the only man who had ever touched her this way, the only man who could awaken these womanly needs with such near-painful force. He was moving quickly, deliberately, ravishing her with a hint of forcefulness, yet she didn’t feel forced. She only felt limp and submissive, aching for every touch, every soft movement of his tongue, every kiss.
Now he was pulling off her too-big denim pants, pants made for a man but worn by a woman trying to hide a firm bottom and soft curves. Right along with the denim pants came her drawers. Everything came off over her boots, and she lay there in all her nakedness, not even minding that his dark eyes drank in every inch of her before he took a moment to unlace and remove her boots and stockings so she no longer wore a stitch of clothing except her blouse, which lay open, exposing her breasts. She wondered herself why she didn’t curl up and try to hide private places she should be bashful about. Instead, she only watched him, stretching her arms over her head. She bent one leg up and let it fall to the side, her whole body on fire, a terrible wantonness making her invite all that was man about him to invade her once more. She ached for it.
Ethan stood up and removed his boots, his pants, and longjohns. He stood there for a moment in naked splendor, and it was the first time Allyson had truly studied him fully. She felt a wave of mixed emotions, an odd, curious fear at the sight of how big he was, wondering how he had ever fit into her the first couple of times. Combined with that fear was a fiery desire to let him plant himself inside her again, surprised that she actually hoped it would hurt a little, for the woman in her realized now that such pain was also ecstasy.
Neither of them needed any further foreplay. He moved on top of her, and she opened herself willingly, their eyes meeting in unspoken questions and promises. She closed her eyes and drew in her breath then when he pushed himself inside of her. He leaned down and licked at her mouth, then rested his elbows on either side of her and surged into her in rhythmic thrusts that made her moan with every breath she took. She leaned up and kissed at his chest, trailing her fingers over his muscled arms, over his firm chest, toying with his nipples.
His skin was so dark next to the fair skin of her hands. His long black hair brushed at her face and shoulders. She arched up to him, surprised and delighted to realize that this time all pain was gone. It had been replaced by an aching need to have all of him, to pull him into herself and never let go. Because of the long neglect of their sexual needs, it was over with quickly. She felt a dizzying climax that made her almost scream as she pushed against him with even greater force, and at almost the same time she felt his life rush into her, yet he did not stop the glorious, rhythmic movements.
“Enjoy it, Ally,” he whispered, coming down closer to move his hands under her bottom, continuing to move until in only seconds she felt his maleness filling her again. She licked and kissed at his powerful shoulders as her own climax just seemed to go on and on. She realized he understood that once she experienced the wonderful, exotic explosion deep inside she needed to feel this ecstasy for yet a while longer.
Now she was lost in him, the room swirling with images only of Ethan Temple, his dark hair, those dangerous, exotic eyes, his handsome face, his beautiful lips that knew just the right ways to caress her, his dark skin and hard muscles. It made no difference what his heritage was. What mattered was the man himself, every perfect, handsome inch of him, his goodness, his bravery, his skill, his worth as a total man…and she knew she loved him, far more deeply than she had realized before this moment.
They slept for over an hour, both of them weary from a long day’s work topped off with lovemaking so urgent and passionate that afterward they were too spent even to get up off the bed. They simply lay there naked together, wet with perspiration from heated lovemaking combined with still-warm air, even though the sun was setting behind the mountain, throwing the little claim site into the darker shadows of dusk.
Allyson finally stirred, opening her eyes to see Ethan watching her with a look of deep concern. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, was it?” she said, more as a statement than a question.
Ethan studied her blue eyes, hating himself for being so weak when he was near her. “No.”
Allyson sighed, resting her head in his shoulder. “Now what do we do?”
Ethan kissed her hair. “If I had my way we would leave today, sell out, and go start that ranch in Wyoming, start a family.”
Allyson felt torn between two worlds, two desires. “Ethan, we’ve just found our biggest hit yet. We can’t stop now, and we can’t sell out until we know for sure what’s in our piece of that mountain.”
Ethan smiled sadly, a smile she did not see because her head was resting against his chest. “Somehow I knew that would be your answer.”
Allyson felt his disappointment. “Ethan, surely you agree with me.” She kissed his chest, leaning her head back to meet his eyes. “It doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I don’t want what you want.”
“It just means that what you want has to come first.”
“No. It means that we had a deal, remember? One year. It’s only been six weeks. Just because we’re up here mining a claim doesn’t mean we can’t love each other, can’t make love or…or remarry.” Was that too bold a remark? Maybe he wasn’t even thinking of marrying again.
Ethan studied her blue eyes, a little part of him still not trusting her. It was so hard to know if her words were true, if even her lovemaking was true. She had taken him with such lust and eagerness. Was it just her way of making him want to stay, so that she did not lose her free help? “I’d take you to Cripple Creek and marry you tomorrow,” he told her, “if I believed you would really give this up in a year and come to Wyoming with me, no matter how the claim turns out.”
“I said that I would, Ethan, if we found love again. We have, haven’t we? Please don’t tell me that what just happened was nothing more than animal need. Please tell me it meant something.”
He moved on top of her again, leaning down and gently kissing her lips. “It meant everything—to me. How about you?”
She closed her eyes against the hurtful distrust in his. “You still can’t quite trust me or believe me, can you?”
He smoothed her hair back from her face. “Can you blame me?”
She caught his hand, kissed his palm. “No. I can only pray you’ll believe me when I tell you that this time…this time was real.” She felt her cheeks grow a little hotter, and for a moment she could not look him in the eyes. She had just flagrantly given herself to him, allowed him to drink in every inch of her nakedness, to invade her deepest privacy. “I wanted you, Ethan, just for the man that you are. It was the first time I wanted you before you even touched me, wanted you just for the sheer pleasure of being in your arms.” Finally she did look at him. “I don’t doubt that I love you, Ethan, or that I want to go with you to Wyoming. The problem is, it scares me. Everyone I have ever cared about has been taken from me. I have fought this all along because I’m afraid to care that much. I don’t like thinking or saying that I need someone else. I’ve learned to get by on my own because that way there’s no hurt when someone you care about dies. I don’t like the realization that you’re all I have in the world, that I need you, need your love.”
He sighed, folding her into his arms. “Did you ever stop to think that it’s the same for me? I lost my mother, my father, my grandmother, my wife, most of my relatives. I don’t even know who I am or where I belong. At least you know that much about yourself. When you’re brought up being tossed back and forth between two worlds, two races, never fully accepted by either one, it gets pretty lonely.”
She ran a slender hand along his powerful arm. “I suppose it does. I didn’t help much by showing my disappointment that day Cy Jacobs said an Indian couldn’t own land. I did a terrible thing, marrying you just to save my property, Ethan. I know that. I just wish you would believe me when I say I did also love you. I just didn’t realize how much at first. Then after you left, it hit me full force what I had done, how much I wanted you with me; but you were so hurt and angry, I didn’t feel I had the right to come and find you and beg you to come back. I deliberately convinced myself it was for the best, making myself believe I’d be just fine without you, that we didn’t really belong together anyway.”
Ethan kept stroking her hair. “Maybe we don’t.”
She traced a finger along the indentation between two muscles on his upper arm. “All I know is I hate the thought of being without you, and when I’m near you, I turn into someone I don’t even know, a wanton woman who wants to make love and just lie here like this in your arms. When we were apart, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Every night I wished you were lying beside me. That must mean something.”
He moved his hand to lightly fondle one full breast. “It was the same for me. I hated you, but I loved you, too. Every basic instinct tells me I should never have come up here with you, yet here I am, back in your bed on top of it all.”
She kissed his arm. “So now what do we do?”
“We get married, sell the claim, and move to Wyoming.”
“Ethan.” She met his gaze with a scowl. “You know that has to wait. That chunk of rock you just dug out of the mountain contains more gold than anything I’ve seen yet. We have to be sure what’s in there.”
He sighed and sat up. “And what if we hit a vein and find out there’s a fortune in gold on this claim? How much will you need good ol’ Ethan once you’re a rich woman in your own right, just what you’ve always dreamed of? You won’t need me or a ranch in Wyoming. You’ll have your dream. Will you still be willing just to be a rancher’s wife?”
Unforgettable Page 35
