All the Reasons I Need

by Jaime Clevenger

  “You’re wet.”

  “It’s raining,” Mo said. “Please tell me you aren’t going out on a date looking that good.”

  “I was coming to track you down.” She held up her phone. Mo’s compliment bolstered her courage. This time she wasn’t going to hide behind any of the old insecurities. “I convinced Julia to give me Chantal’s address. I thought you’d be there.”

  “I thought about it. Then I went for a walk instead.”

  “In the rain?”

  “I didn’t want to go to Chantal’s. I always come to you when something goes wrong.” She looked Kate up and down again. “You got dressed up to come find me? In case you were trying, you look hot as hell.”

  “I wanted to look good when I apologized.” Every part of her body begged her to go to Mo, but she held back still. Mo’s hair glistened from the rain and her new jacket was drenched. Because of her. Her words. Her fears. “I’m sorry.”

  “Makeup and everything just to say that?” Mo’s lips curved in a half smile. “That’s an awful lot of work for two words.”

  “I got more.” Kate paused, gathering courage. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time.”

  Mo nodded. “I know.”

  “But I really don’t deserve you.”

  “You really do. But sometimes you are a pain in my ass. A sexy pain in my ass…”

  “Do you want to come in? You’ve got to be freezing.”

  “Not yet.” Mo scooted over to make room on the step where she was sitting and patted the spot.

  Kate gave up trying to hold back. She crossed the landing and sat down on the stair, leaving a few inches between her and Mo. “You sure I’m not too much of a pain in the ass?”

  “No.” Mo hesitated. “Do you remember the last time we had a conversation out here? I’ll give you a hint: I didn’t have any pockets for a key.”

  Kate immediately pictured Mo in a cowboy hat. Her cowboy hat. “That was one of those nights I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” She couldn’t believe Mo was bringing it up now.

  “My underwear made an impression?”

  “I don’t think it was that.” Kate smiled. Mo was doing it again. She could make her feel better no matter how much she’d screwed up.

  “God, that was embarrassing.” She looked over at Kate and in a terrible Texan accent said, “Howdy, pard-ner.”

  Kate couldn’t help laughing and the heaviness in her chest lifted the moment Mo joined in. “You looked so damn sexy in that hat.”

  “You should see me in chaps.” Mo grinned. “When Tanya kicked me out, I figured it would be five, maybe ten minutes before she took pity on me and let me back in. She was trying to prove a point, I guess. But I had no phone, no keys…”

  “And no pants. Or shirt.”

  “Good thing I was wearing underwear,” Mo said, laughing again. “You were supposed to be staying over at Ethan’s. I’d never been so glad to see you come home. I didn’t know how long she was going to keep me locked out. I even thought about knocking on one of the neighbors’ doors.”

  Kate remembered the surge she’d felt seeing Mo’s bare chest, her gorgeous long legs stretching down the steps, and the black bikini underwear that showed off her toned thighs. She’d tried to suppress the feelings she’d had that night for so long. “I thought you always wore boxers.”

  “Sometimes I like to mix it up.” Mo continued. “You walked past me, unlocked the door, took one look at Tanya, and then turned around and said, ‘Why didn’t you ask if you could borrow my hat?’ I can’t remember a damn thing you said after that.” Mo started laughing again. “You just kept looking up at the hat and shaking your head even though I was locked out, basically naked, and Tanya was eating a bowl of cereal in our living room like nothing was going on. But it was the hat that really bothered you.”

  “Because you’ve always asked before you borrowed anything of mine,” Kate said, unable to keep the smile from turning up her lips. The truth was, she’d had to focus on the hat because as soon as Mo stood up and walked over to the door where she’d been standing, all other thoughts left her mind.

  “Tanya was so much drama.” Mo shook her head. “Why did I stay with her for so long? She threw the hat at me after she pushed me out the door. Sorry your hat was part of that fight.”

  “I couldn’t believe she would do that to someone. Actually, I can. Tanya never treated you the way she should have. That day wasn’t even the worst of it.”

  “She kicked me out of my own apartment naked. How much worse did it get?” Mo chuckled. “I guess I should say thank you for focusing on the hat.”

  “It was hard to pretend I didn’t notice other things.”

  “Oh, really? Like what?” Mo baited her.

  “Like your eyes, Math Whiz.”

  Mo laughed again. “God, it feels good to laugh.” She wiped her eyes and sighed. “You officially know all my secrets.”

  “Only fair. You know all of mine.” Kate paused. “I love you so much that it hurts.”

  “You too?” Mo scooted over so that their legs were touching. “Hey…I got an idea.”

  “Uh-oh. I know that tone. Am I about to agree to something that requires a helmet?” Kate wanted to stroke her hand down Mo’s jeans, but she kept her arms folded.

  “I was thinking of an old-fashioned date. No helmets. Want to go out to dinner with me?”

  Kate smiled. “I’d love to.”

  “That was almost too easy. And after dinner we can—”

  “We can come home and you can make love to me,” Kate interrupted. At Mo’s raised eyebrow, she added, “Was that too forward?”

  “Well, I asked you out on an old-fashioned date. I was thinking about a movie.”

  “I don’t want old-fashioned unless that means you fuck me until I can’t think.”

  “Actually, I think that is what old-fashioned means.” Mo winked. “You know, you said ‘you fuck me,’ not the other way around.”

  “I did.” Kate felt the blush rise up her neck. Mo hadn’t misunderstood her, but she was still nervous about it.

  “I don’t want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable.”

  “I know you’ll stop if I ask you to.”

  ‘”Do you really think this is going to work? You and me and a real relationship?” Mo asked, her voice uncharacteristically tentative. “Because I really want this, but I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

  “Get your hopes up.” Kate took Mo’s hand and kissed it. She held Mo’s hand against her chest. “This is going to sound cheesy but… You’re the one for me, Mo. I know it. I’ve been in love with you for years. My heart’s been trying to say that for a long time, but my messed-up head kept getting in the way.”

  “You know you put my hand on your breast, right? I mean, I’m guessing you wanted me to feel your heart, but your blouse is really thin and I’m pretty sure that’s your nipple.”

  Kate laughed. She leaned forward and met Mo’s lips. When she pulled back, Mo’s eyes were still closed. She opened them a moment later and smiled. Kate knew it wasn’t a mistake. She could look at that smile for the rest of her life.

  “Can we eat breakfast now?” Mo asked.

  “For the rest of the day, you’re in charge.” Kate leaned against Mo’s shoulder. “I don’t want to try and control everything anymore. I’m tired. And I keep screwing up.”

  “The rest of the day, huh? Does that include the evening hours?”

  Kate nodded.

  “For real?”

  “For real. But I don’t think you should wait until tonight to try and seduce me. I’m feeling ready to let you do anything.”

  “Anything?” Mo paused, her eyes going up and down Kate’s body. “In that case, let’s eat. I’m starving. I bought yogurt and granola if you wanted to be healthy, but those cinnamon rolls smell amazing.”

  “You know me well.” Kate was hungry, but she was anxious for Mo to touch her and doubted she’d be able to eat much before than happe
ned. “You know we could have breakfast after…”

  “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Mo quipped. When Kate started to argue, Mo kissed her. “I promise the wait is going to be worth it.”

  Mo’s persuasive tone only made Kate want to skip breakfast more. They kissed again when they stood up and again in the doorway. As soon as they were inside, Kate tried to angle them toward the bedroom, but Mo turned to the kitchen instead.

  “I woke up this morning thinking of this.” Mo picked up a cinnamon roll and took a bite before she kissed Kate again. “Why is it that the best cinnamon rolls in town are at a gas station minimart?”

  Her mouth tasted so good that Kate wanted more when she pulled away. She reached for her own cinnamon roll and licked the icing. “I don’t know if I can wait for you to eat that whole cinnamon roll.”

  “Do that again and I don’t know if I’ll be able to either.”

  “Do what?” Kate asked coyly. She slid her tongue over the top of the roll nice and slow. Mo’s low groan was the perfect response. After she took a bite, savoring the sugary cinnamon, she said, “You should have kissed me a long time ago.”

  “You should have kissed me a long time ago,” Mo argued. She went over to the coffee carafe and grumbled. “The coffee’s probably cold.”

  “It’ll still taste good.” Kate held up her mug and Mo poured. She added cream and then sat down at the table despite her body’s longing to pull Mo to the bedroom. This time she wasn’t in charge, she reminded herself.

  When Mo finished pouring her own mug, she sat down opposite Kate. “I love having breakfast with you. Feels like old times.”

  Kate took a sip of the lukewarm coffee. “Still delicious. Like someone else I know.”

  Mo grinned. “Who? I might be jealous.”

  Mo was more handsome than ever. This was not like old times. It was infinitely better. She slid her foot up Mo’s calf. Because she could.

  When her toe got up to Mo’s knee, Mo choked on the sip of coffee she’d just taken. She set down the mug, chuckling, and said, “Why’d I say breakfast was important?”

  Kate pulled her foot back and smiled, crossing her legs. Mo looked over at her and the desire in her eyes made Kate’s mouth go dry. She was ready to beg.

  “So how long are you going to make me wait? Are we talking after dinner with your mom?”

  Mo took another bite of her cinnamon roll. “We can have dinner with my mom a different night. I want to take you to this place I read about a while ago—it’s up the coast a ways but there’s a view of the water and we have to get dressed up ’cause it’s fancy. You know, your sort of place.”

  “As much as I like to get dressed up, you know you don’t need to woo me. I’m already hooked.”

  “Too bad. I’m going to woo the pants off you anyway. I’ve been wanting to take you to this spot for years. It’s possible I planned out our first date more than once. But in my head it was summertime and we’d go to the beach afterward. It’s too cold for that this time of year.”

  “We’ve already been on more than one perfect date.” Kate had a list of her favorites. “Watching the stars come out over the Golden Gate…parasailing in Hawaii…scooters in Cozumel. And that gala that I took you to—God, I had the hottest date in the place that night.”

  “If only I had known we were on a date…then you really would have had the hottest date.”

  “We’ve had a few missed opportunities.” Kate loved the confidence in Mo’s voice and the way she was looking at her as if she had every intention of making up for lost time. It gave her the courage to say what she’d been thinking. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you about that gala.” Mo’s expression turned to concern, and she quickly added, “I promise it’s nothing bad. I’m just a little embarrassed to say it out loud.” She swallowed, knowing that she had to be direct or she would lose her nerve. “Were you packing?”

  Mo laughed. “Oh, man. No. Did you think I was?”

  “I wasn’t sure. I mean I thought maybe… You said that you did for special occasions and… I couldn’t see anything, but I kept thinking about it.” She felt her cheeks get warm. “After we got home, you went to your room and I had to go to mine. In my head, you were packing. It was hot.”

  Mo’s mouth dropped open. “You fantasized about that?”

  Kate covered her face with her hands as Mo whistled. When Kate peeked over at her, certain she was still blushing, Mo said, “Thank you for telling me. Now I know what to wear on our date.”

  “Would you?”

  “Hell, yes.” She laughed. “And don’t stop yourself from asking. I think it’s fucking hot.”

  “Well, while I’m asking, I’ve got one more request.” Kate paused. “I want to tell your mom. Not tonight. Tonight I only want you. But soon. The sooner the better.”

  “And here I was hoping that you were going to tell me another secret fantasy. I mean, I already know about the orgies with Wonder Woman.”

  “You are not allowed to tell anyone about that. Ever.”

  “Too late. Julia already knows.”

  “You did not tell Julia! Tell me you didn’t tell her.”

  “You said that plenty of women fantasize about orgies with superheroes. It’s no big deal, right?” Mo’s smile widened and Kate knew then she was only joking. She kicked her halfheartedly under the table and Mo pretended to wince, laughing as she did.

  “For that, I ought to tell Julia about that time with Tanya and the cowboy hat. Between that hat and those bikini underwear…I couldn’t stop staring. So damn sexy.”

  “How sexy?”

  “Let’s just say I was jealous of Tanya. It wasn’t fair. She was a wench, and it was my damn hat.”

  Mo laughed again. “I’ll make it up to you. Promise.”

  “These cinnamon rolls are delicious and your coffee is amazing even cold. But can we please say that we’ve eaten enough breakfast?”

  “You’re terrible at waiting.” Mo licked the sugar glaze off her fingers. When she went over to the sink to rinse her hands, Kate stood up too. She waited until Mo reached for a towel and then stepped between her and the counter.

  Mo eyed her, drying her hands. “This is you not being in control?”

  “I may need some practice.”

  A smile played on Mo’s lips. “I can help you out there.” She tossed the towel on the counter and stepped forward, her lips pressing against Kate’s. Mo’s kiss promised that this time would be different. Her tongue pushed and Kate felt her body give in as her lips parted.

  When Mo pulled away, Kate opened her eyes. Mo held her gaze. “You can change your mind anytime about how this goes. Just say the word.”

  Kate shook her head. She didn’t want to change her mind. Mo kissed her again. She caught her hand and stepped backward toward the bedroom.

  “You know, I’ve been teasing you about waiting, but you have no idea how hard this is making me,” Mo said.

  Kate felt a thrill race through her. “Show me.”

  They managed to get to the bedroom, Mo kissing her all the way and Kate trying not to take over. She focused on Mo’s lips and her hands moving over her clothes. God, she wanted those hands and lips on her bare skin.

  When Mo slid her hands under Kate’s shirt the room spun. Kate closed her eyes, reminding herself again that she needed to let go. She wanted this. Mo’s hands moved to her breasts, fingertips tracing over her bra and sliding under the lace. There was nothing rough about her touch, but there was no denying that she was going after what she wanted. Feeling Mo’s desire only turned her on more.

  “Can I take off my clothes? I want to be naked.”

  “You look so hot all dressed up for me,” Mo said, her voice husky. But her hands undid Kate’s bra.

  A whimper slipped out of Kate’s lips when Mo caressed her nipple. Mo’s hands moved down to her waist. Kate held still as she pushed her pants over her hips. She sucked in a breath.

  “Even your underwear
is sexy.”

  “Guilty pleasure,” Kate admitted. “I only buy sexy underwear.”

  She kicked off her boots and then Mo helped her the rest of the way out of the pants. As she straightened up, Mo’s hand stroked up the inside of Kate’s thigh.

  “Mmm,” Kate murmured. Before she had time to say how much she wanted her hands in other places, Mo was helping her out of her shirt. When she took off Kate’s bra, her response—a low moan—only turned Kate on more.

  “I keep thinking that I’m going to wake up and this whole week will have been a dream,” Mo said.

  “Good dream?”

  “This part is.” Mo traced a fingertip down Kate’s bare arm.

  As much as she wanted to stand there and let Mo touch her, she felt a rush of nerves. She turned to the bed and pushed down the covers, needing to get through the next step.

  Mo caught her hand. “Hold up. You okay?”

  Kate nodded. She didn’t want to tell Mo how nervous she suddenly felt. She wanted to be as confident receiving as she was giving.

  “I don’t mind going slow,” Mo said, guessing her thoughts. “Only makes me want you more.”

  “Let’s say that’s my goal.” She sat down on the bed facing Mo. When Mo touched her face she shivered. Her hand was hot and the room wasn’t cold. It was all nerves. Relax. Breathe.

  “You can stop me anytime,” Mo said.

  Kate let her knees gap. Mo’s gaze went right to her center and Kate felt a pulse there as if she’d already touched her. She spread her knees further.

  “Or you could do that.” Mo moved between Kate’s legs. “It’s like you know exactly how to turn me on. And then you turn me on a little more. Do you know how much I want you?”

  When Kate looked up, Mo leaned down and met her lips. Having Mo between her legs was almost too much, but the urge to push her back was overridden by wanting to pull her closer. She reached up and played with the end of Mo’s belt, tugging it but not undoing the buckle. If the tables were turned, she’d already be on top of Mo. It was hard being patient, and the buildup was only making her desire more intense. If only Mo would touch her, she’d realize how wet she was making her.