I played it cool. “You know you guys are always welcome, D. Tell her she can drop by anytime and to grab a key from security at the gate. I’ll add her to the entry list today.”
“Cool, cool.” He looked me over twice, and for a moment I wondered if he could sense that I was hiding something. “You’re a great friend, man. You know that?” Relief. “Ever since I met you, we instantly connected. You remember that? The click was impossible to miss. Not sure what the hell I would do without you, Cane.”
He clapped my shoulder, and I gave him a slight smile before he took off. Though I was glad he hadn’t sensed my deception and lies, his words still slayed me.
Derek trusted me. Deep down to his core, I knew if anything were to ever happen to him, he would want me to take on the role of being Kandy’s father figure. He’d said it once, a long, long time ago.
Taking on that role could never happen now. He’d have to find another candidate—a man who didn’t want to bend his daughter over and fuck her senseless.
28
KANDY
“I’m so glad Mr. Cane is letting us use his pool!” Frankie was excited, but I think I beat that excitement by a million.
I had begged Dad over and over again to get in touch with Cane to see if he’d let us swim in his pool. I mean, Cane had bragged about it over dinners at the beach so much that I wanted to experience myself. He wasn’t lying about the built in waterfall. It was beautiful.
I knew if I had asked, Cane would have made an excuse, just so he wouldn’t have to be around me without them, but if Dad asked, he wouldn’t say no. Sure enough, it worked.
Frankie picked me up from my house the morning after Dad told me, and drove us to his place first thing.
“I’m glad too. You still volunteering at the camp this weekend?” I asked, rubbing sunscreen on my thighs.
“Yeah. It’s like a big brother thing. The kids are all in foster care, and I kind of know how it is to feel abandoned, you know? It’ll be great to connect with them and let them know there’s hope.”
“Aw, Frank. I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said!”
“Yeah, maybe it is. But if you ever tell anyone about it I’ll cut you in half.”
I laughed, placing the bottle of sunscreen down and turning over to lay on my belly. I placed one hand on top of the other, then rested my chin on top of my hands.
“Are you and Mr. Cane still messing around?”
“Meh. Not really. Not since the beach. He also hasn’t really been coming around much. Haven’t heard much of Kelly either. I saw them arguing the night we got back from Destin. I think she was mad at him about something.”
“They probably broke up. Don’t get me wrong—Kelly is so pretty, but she is not a good match for him.”
“That’s what I said!”
“She’s way too nice for him, and it’s pretty obvious that he’s not that interested in her. Maybe he was in the beginning, but now it kind of seems like he’s just with her so other people won’t assume he’s gay.”
“Oh my gosh, Frank. Shut up,” I laughed. “Trust me, he’s far from gay.”
“After the way I saw his tongue going down your throat, yeah, I’d bet a million bucks that he isn’t.”
My friend was a straight-up goof.
We sunbathed and swam for about two hours before leaving. There was no sign of Cane.
The next day, after doing some dorm room shopping with Mom, I figured another swim wouldn’t hurt, so I had her drop me off after we unloaded the car. She didn’t think anything of it. She also had to go into work for a meeting and was running late, so I told her I’d be okay waiting until she could pick me up again.
I loved his pool. It was never too cold or too warm. The temperature was soothing, and I spent the day floating in the water, basking in the sun. The sun had drained me by the time I was ready to get out, so I started to collect my things, but when I stood up, someone was standing in front of the glass door.
Cane.
He stood there with his hands in his pockets, and it seemed he’d been standing there for a quite some time.
I waved, and he took a hand out of his pocket to wave back. I slid my bag over my shoulder and walked to the door. He opened it for me, and ushered me inside the cool house.
“Had a good swim?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “It was just what I needed.”
“Didn’t get enough in Destin, huh?”
“Not by a long shot. If I could live there, I would. I loved that beach.”
He smirked and took a step back. “Well, if you want to shower, I have a guest bathroom with everything in it. I’m assuming you’re hungry after being out there all day?”
“Ugh. Yeah, I’m starving.”
“Good. I ordered some Chinese.” He shrugged. “I feel like being a pig tonight. Go shower. Food should be here by the time you’re done.”
I nodded, walking past him to get to the stairs. I looked over my shoulder, but he wasn’t watching like I’d expected him to be. Instead, he had turned and was making his way to the kitchen.
I don’t know why I was expecting dinner to be at his fancy dinner table in the dining room. Instead, Cane had taken out two folding trays, placed them in front of the couch in one of the dens, and then set his plate down on top of one of the trays, along with a glass of what I assumed was scotch.
He was acting weird today, but I said nothing of it. Instead, I topped my plate with lo mein and chicken fried rice, grabbed two fortune cookies, and joined him in the den.
He had the TV on and was watching a sports channel. This was definitely unlike him. The only time I saw Cane watch TV was if he was visiting my dad, who loved TV. He’d even told me once that he was too busy to sit around and watch a lot of shows, though he did try to catch a few games here and there if my dad told him it was a big one.
“Is everything okay?” I asked. I couldn’t help remembering this was the den where everything between us started. Maybe he was thinking about that.
“Yeah. I’m good.” He took a bite of his food.
“What makes you want to watch TV?”
He shrugged and placed his fork down, replacing it with his water. “I don’t know. Had a shitty day. One of my deals didn’t go through, and I can only blame myself. My head wasn’t in the game.” He huffed. “I just wanted to come home and forget about work for a while. Feel a little more human, and not so driven. You know?”
I bobbed my head. “I get it.” I was quiet for a second, using the prongs of my fork to shift my food around. “Why wasn’t your head in the game?”
“Just a lot of shit with my mom. Some stuff about Kelly, too.” He said his last sentence softer than the first. But to me, it rang the loudest.
“What happened with Kelly? I haven’t seen her in a while.”
He looked at me through the corner of his eye before focusing on the TV again. “We aren’t talking anymore.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged for, like, the tenth time that night. Cane really sucked at pretending to be careless. “She got to know the real me in Destin, I guess.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked through a small laugh.
He took a brief pause, squeezing the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes. He swallowed hard after several seconds and then continued. “It started when we were at the beach. I’d had a little too much to drink and so did she.” He sighed. “We were in our room there. You guys were downstairs with music on, playing UNO. She was kissing me, trying to get me in the mood, but I was so damn drunk—” He stopped talking abruptly, staring me in the eyes. “I called her by your name, Kandy.”
When he said that, my heart sped up a notch. I wasn’t expecting that at all. “W-What?”
“Yeah.” A small smirk swept over his sculpted lips as he focused on the amber liquid in his glass. His eyes then flashed up to mine, and he took a long swallow before pulling his gaze away. “That’s how I know you’re fucking with my head,
Bits.”
What was I supposed to say to that? Oh, I apologize that the woman who was in the way of us, left you? If that was the case, I wasn’t sorry. Though I liked Kelly now, I was glad she was out of the picture—happier than I should have been about it, honestly. I was selfish with Cane. So very, very selfish, and he knew that. We both did.
“She was drunk enough that she didn’t remember the name I’d called her the next day. I think all she remembers is that it was another woman’s…which is a good thing.”
“A very good thing.” If Kelly would have heard him say my name, I was certain she would have gotten suspicious and figured things out. She had developed a bond with my mom, so I knew she would tell her first thing.
Kelly was a Goody-Two-shoes kind of woman. Mom was all about justice. They liked honesty, which made them the perfect duo. Two good, honest, kind-hearted women.
“Well, if I can be honest for a second, I’m glad you two split up.”
His smile was faint. “Of course you are, Bits.” He drew in a breath. “Shit like this usually doesn’t bother me, but I guess since she’d been around for so long that it feels weird when she doesn’t call, text, or visit.”
“Yeah, I guess I can understand that.” It sucked to hear, but I was glad he was telling me.
He placed a hand on my knee. “But I have you. I’ll always have you, right?”
“Aren’t you usually trying to get rid of me?” I laughed.
He ignored my joke. “I mean it, Bits. If all else fails, I know you’ll be there. It feels good to know there are people out here who care about me.” He held my gaze, and I felt a swirl in the pit of my belly. A clench between my thighs. He had no idea how badly I wanted to climb on top of him and kiss him, show him how much I really cared about him.
I more than cared about Cane. I was in fucking love with the crazy man, and he was too blinded by lust and confusion to realize it.
A knock sounded at the door, and I gasped while Cane jerked back. I had been leaning into him, ready to press my lips to his. I believe he was about to give in and let me. He stood from the sofa and glanced back at me once before stepping around the corner and going for the door.
“Hi, Cane! I didn’t realize you’d be home so early!” It was Mom.
I straightened up and busied myself with my food.
They stepped around the corner and into the den. Mom smiled at me. “Did you get enough sun? You’re going to be burnt to a crisp if you keep it up,” she joked.
Cane chuckled.
I forced a laugh to keep the mood light.
“Yeah, we can go. Let me just take my plate to the kitchen.”
“Oh, Kandy. Don’t worry about that. I got it.” Cane took a step forward and grabbed my plate. “I’m sure your mother is tired. Maybe you should drive her home.”
“Yeah, maybe you should,” she agreed. “I’m tired of being your chauffeur.”
“Then get me a car.” I stuck my tongue out at her.
She laughed, but nothing more. I was still waiting on the day they’d give me a car. Mom and Dad had well-paying jobs, Mom in particular, but I was still carless at eighteen. It didn’t make any sense to me why they weren’t spoiling me with a Maserati or a Tesla. Okay…that was a bit much, but still.
I grabbed my bag and met up with Mom, who wrapped her arm around my shoulders and walked with me to the door. Cane followed us out, and when we got into the car, he told us goodnight.
His eyes lingered on mine more than they should have. He backed away and stood on the cement walkway that led to his front door, while I pulled out of the driveway and away from the house. I glanced at him one more time before pulling off.
“Cane is so good to us,” Mom exhaled. “Letting you use his pool and feeding you. He’s a busy man, and I’m sure he just wants to come to a quiet home and escape the madness. Have you thanked him for letting you use the pool and for being in his home while he’s away?”
No, in fact, I hadn’t thanked him. But I would eventually. I lied anyway, just so she wouldn’t scold me. “Of course I thanked him. He is a nice person.”
“Yes, he is. You know, your dad has had a lot of weird, dumb, selfish friends, but Cane is none of those things. He’s probably the only friend of your dad’s that I actually approve of and like being around. He’s very supportive and uplifting of everyone and always gives me a good vibe when he’s around. There’s never any negativity from Cane. He’s also great with your Dad when it comes to that crazy temper of his.”
Great, Mom. Just great. Keep making me feel like shit for wanting him.
She sighed. “To be honest, I still wonder why he sticks around so much. We don’t have much to offer him, other than our friendship. During the times he visits for dinners, he could be eating in a fancy restaurant or going on a date. I don’t know.” She shrugged and let out a short breath. “I guess it’s just nice to know his time spent with us is real and genuine. You know?”
“Okay, Mom. You should probably stop. You’re being super sentimental right now.”
Her laughter was a soft chime, filling the car. “God, I know, baby. I know. It’s just…me and your dad’s anniversary is coming up, and you’ll be in college soon. It’s all happening so fast, you know?”
I reached over to rub her shoulder. “It’s okay, Mom. Seriously, I’ll visit all the time…especially if you give me a car.”
In that moment, it seemed an imaginary sponge had soaked up all her tears. She gave me a dull look with a slight smile and said, “Nice try, little girl, but I’m a lawyer. I see right through that little sympathy card you just tried to pull on me.”
“You can’t say it wasn’t a good one, though!”
She stared at me, trying to fight a grin.
It was useless.
We both broke into laughter, the sounds nearly identical.
29
KANDY
Something unexpected happened three and a half weeks before I was supposed to be going to college: Dad asked me to go out on a father-daughter date with him.
How was this unexpected? Well, it had caught me off guard because Dad and I never really spent time together outside of the house. Yes, we had the vacation, and yes, he’d come home every day, happy to see his family, but outside of home, we never really hung out one-on-one.
If I could recall the last time we did go on one of our father-daughter dates, I was sixteen, and the only reason we hung out that day was because I needed a new dress for the homecoming dance. Mom couldn’t take me, so I had to drag Dad along with me. We bought a dress, and then he teased me about how he was going to feed me so much ice cream that I would feel sick and couldn’t go to the dance to be ogled by teenage boys. He was a goof that way.
There was a knock on my door, and I instantly knew it was him by the knock. He double-tapped three times. I was in the middle of reading a magazine article about a new matte nail polish.
“Come in,” I called.
Dad opened the door with a small smile. I expected to see him in his uniform, but he was dressed in casual clothing. He ran a hand over the top of his dark, wavy head of hair, stepping inside and looking around, like he hadn’t seen my room in a while.
Now that I thought about it, maybe it had been a while since he last stepped foot in here. Dad was very much like Mom in the sense that they didn’t like to invade my privacy. They felt everyone deserved their own place of solitude. Outside of my room, though, there was no such thing as privacy. I’d lost count of how many times Dad asked me teasingly who I was texting whenever we were around each other.
“What’s up, kid?” he asked. I gave him a suspicious look.
“Um…nothing.” I closed my magazine, sitting up higher in my recliner. “Why are you being weird?” I laughed.
“I’m being weird? Really?” His eyes stretched wide, and then he shook his head. “I just wanted to pop in. Say hello. It’s also my day off. Wasn’t sure if you had any plans with Frankie or anything…”
“I
don’t. She volunteers at a summer camp on the weekends,” I told him.
“Oh, okay.” His eyes lit up then, like he’d had an idea but wasn’t sure it would work out. “Well, since we’re both free, I thought we could have one of our father-daughter dates again. You know, like how we used to have, with a movie, some popcorn, and those peanut M&M’s you like? You still like those, right?”
I laughed. “Yeah, Dad. I still like them.”
“Well, good. Let’s catch a movie then. Figured we should try and hang out since me and your mom will be going to Paris soon. What do you say?”
“That sounds great, actually.” I climbed off the bed. “I’ll meet you downstairs in ten.”
“Cool, cool.” He stepped back and grabbed the doorknob. He was about to turn back and say something, but he stopped himself, deciding to close the door behind him instead.
If there was one thing I knew about my dad, it’s that he was never really sure how to handle my teenage self. When I was younger, he said I couldn’t get enough of being around him, but as I developed, he realized that I wanted to be alone more. I became closed-off, feisty, and talked less.
Dad said he didn’t have any siblings and also that his parents weren’t very good role models, so he was still learning. For that, I cut him some slack. He wasn’t doing a terrible job. Not by a long shot.
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