“Mr. Drake is right. Whatever he said to you, Mr. Lansing lied. I did not give prior consent and, in fact, I had no idea I was even pregnant for a month after you kidnapped me. Clear your mind of your experiments for a second and try to think of how I felt waking up on a cold floor, knowing I’d been violated somehow and with a night-long gap in my memory.”
“We thought that was a kindness,” Cheshire whispered.
“You thought memory loss was a kindness?”
He put up his hands, as if he could ward off her words. “We didn’t know for certain if a pregnancy would result. It seemed better to bring you back to your home, where you would be comfortable until it was confirmed. I think that was the correct thing to do, to disrupt your life as little as possible. I suggested you be kept at our facility to be cared for there, but Mr. Lansing said you must be returned because you’d be happier at home. Was he wrong on that?”
“My bar and home always make me happy,” Del said, realizing how true that was. She wanted to hear the sound of the lake water lapping at the dock, soak in the open sky and relax in the company of her regulars. Her people.
“You’re missing the point. It’s not sending me back home that was the problem. Your original decision was flawed. Whatever your intentions, you and your team raped me.”
“You weren’t—”
“Don’t tell me I wasn’t medically raped. Do not even try.” Del leaned over, glaring at him. “What else would you call it?”
“Oh.” Cheshire’s face lost all color. He shrank back in his chair. “Oh.” He stared down at the table.
“Am I an abstraction to you?” Del asked.
“No. I mean…yes, I suppose…then…I…” He took a deep breath. “You were,” he breathed out at last.
“And now?”
The doctor twitched. He stared at his hands. Del remained silent. Let him think of what to say next.
Hawk remained absolutely still, but Del knew that was when he was at his most dangerous. Alec, she guessed, wasn’t the most patient person, but all he did was glare at Cheshire. A good guy, Alec. She wondered how often Beth played peacemaker between her father and her boyfriend.
She was going to have to meet Beth soon. She blinked. Hawk’s daughter. Oh. How odd was that. Her son would have an older sister.
Cheshire shifted in his chair, gathered himself and sat up straighter. “I never…I tried never to think beyond the work. I get so excited about what might be accomplished that I can’t see what’s under my nose.” He stared down at the table. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“It’s more accurate to say that the possibility of my being hurt didn’t occur to you at all, is that right?”
Cheshire swallowed hard and nodded.
“And now?” Del said.
“I’m sorry. I really wish I’d insisted on my original plan of hiring a volunteer.”
He didn’t wish he never conducted the experiment or that he’d never been a scientist. He just wished he’d picked a willing victim. She almost laughed. Obsessed people were all similar in their obsessions. Her parents had wished she could grow up in a normal home but they’d blamed the federal government, not themselves, for their crazy life.
“Help me understand why you were so focused. Tell me why you thought my son, the carrier of your so-called Messiah gene, was worth looking at people as lab rats.”
Silence reigned for a few minutes. Finally, Cheshire took a deep breath. “Are you sure you want to hear all this? Will it upset you?”
“We’re past that point, don’t you think, Doc?”
He put his hands flat on the table. “Yes, of course.”
He took another deep breath, looking more like a scientist and less like someone expecting a beating.
“We wanted a scientific breakthrough. We wanted to create someone who could heal themselves from hurt as Mr. Drake does.” His voice gathered strength. “Wouldn’t that be a boon, Ms. Sefton? People who would heal themselves? And if we had a child who could also heal others, who could ensure survival instead of relying on imperfect doctors, well, tell me that wouldn’t benefit the human race.”
“One baby can only do so much,” Del said.
“If this worked, the Messiah gene would have been duplicated and—”
“You wanted to create a passel of Philip Drakes?” Alec said. “Doctor, I’m not so sure that’s a boon to humanity.”
Hawk snorted. “At the least, they could be counted on to have the bad temper to turn on their creator.”
Del laughed.
“I don’t understand,” Cheshire said.
“Mr. Drake is saying that psychic abilities can sometimes make people unstable,” Del said. “Did you account for that in your research?”
“That was a variable. But Mr. Lansing said that proper nurture would have a mitigating effect. I thought perhaps that’s why he picked you as the child’s mother. A normal person, from a good environment, you could be counted on to be a good mother.”
Del shook her head. “Then he didn’t know as much about me as he claimed.”
“But that’s correct, isn’t it? You’re here now because you want to be close to your child, to protect him from harm?”
He had her there.
“I wanted my research to change the world for the better. I wanted to provide hope for the next generation. I realize part of that is ego, but I had the best of intentions. Please understand that.” He focused on Del. “You didn’t have the abortion, Ms. Sefton. You must want the child, yes?”
“How the hell did you know that?” Del stood.
Cheshire shrank back in his chair. “I, well, Mr. Lansing reported that he was concerned about the child. He said he had reports that you might not be a, um, as cooperative a subject as he’d hoped. But he said he’d take care of it, that we’d bring you in and explain what was going on. That I would get what I wanted, a chance to monitor you and the child, to ensure all was going well.” Cheshire frowned.
“And yet, he didn’t bring me in.” Now, she did feel the rage building. “What happened?”
“Mr. Lansing said the next day that keeping you at the facility wouldn’t be necessary. I was disappointed and concerned.”
“Disappointed you didn’t have your research subject under your thumb?”
“No! That wasn’t it at all. I wanted to make certain the child was healthy and growing. I was worried. You have to believe that your health and the health of the child is of utmost importance to me.”
Del remembered Cheshire had been concerned about her when talking to Hawk as well. He might even be more concerned now that he saw her as a person. Or, maybe not. He could be saying what she wanted to hear.
“Why are you so worried about the baby?” she asked.
“The Mes—your son,” he corrected, “was designed to grow at a slightly accelerated rate. We hoped his brain function would be more advanced at his birth. But there was only so far we could push neural and brain development. The child still needed time to develop proper lungs and other organs. If all goes as planned, the baby will be at full growth a month early but you may still carry him the full nine months. You’re twenty weeks from conception, yes?”
“You would know.” Del sat back down. She felt faint and vaguely sick. She’d gotten used to being viewed as an experiment. But talking about her son’s neural development was another matter.
Hawk moved behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She put her hand over his. She had no doubt he was also glaring at Dr. Cheshire.
Cheshire squirmed in his chair and shook his head. “I’m truly sorry, Ms. Sefton. I should’ve thought further about the woman Mr. Lansing brought to me. I should’ve done so many things differently.”
“Yes,” Hawk said.
And, Del thought, Dr. Cheshire might have more cause to regret what he’d done to her. Hawk clearly wasn’t going to forgive him. She wondered if she could stop Hawk from hurting him. She didn’t like how his first instinct now seemed to be to kill to solv
e the problem. He’d not been like that growing up.
“Dr. Cheshire, how did Mr. Lansing know I’d planned to have an abortion and changed my mind?” she asked.
“I can answer that,” Hawk said. “I’m certain they planted bugs and perhaps hidden cameras in your home and bar when they returned you that first night. So they knew you’d made the appointment.”
“I’d have kept it too.” Maybe. “Except for the accident at the Ledgewood Circle.”
“No accident,” Hawk said. “Dr. Cheshire just said Lansing planned to grab you. I would guess that’s what the accident at the circle was about.”
“But they only stole my purse and medical forms.” She turned to look up at him.
“That wasn’t the plan, I believe. Operations are tricky and those involving variables like traffic inevitably have problems. I’d guess they wanted to cause a minor accident to stop your car in traffic and then covertly lead you into the van at gunpoint.”
Del wondered how many times Hawk had led “operations” over the years. No, no need to go down that road.
“They didn’t expect the minivan to flip over and create such a serious accident,” Hawk continued. “That caused you to rush to the aid of those in the minivan, which means they couldn’t grab you quietly. So they took your purse and medical forms as a stop-gap measure.”
Cheshire sank lower in his chair.
“Your heroism saved you from a disappearance. And you canceled your appointment after, so they canceled the operation altogether. And then Lansing died.” Hawk walked over and slapped a hand on the table in front of Cheshire. “Isn’t that right?”
“After he died, I had no further information about you or the—your son, Ms. Sefton.” Cheshire pushed his chair back.
Well, she’d at least gotten Cheshire to think of his experiment as a person. Del gestured to Hawk. “Let him finish.”
Hawk walked back to his previous place at her shoulder.
“I was worried sick about you and the child. But then Mr. Genet arrived and I started receiving reports again.”
Reports from the doctors or technicians that she’d trusted. She put her hand over her baby bump. She’d been worried about sliding into paranoia, like her parents. She hadn’t been nearly paranoid enough.
“And when I turned down an adoption, Genet came after me.”
“I wasn’t part of that as you well know from the fact Genet tried to kill me,” Cheshire said firmly. “I only wished to speak to you and to treat you and your son so you are both healthy. I know you value your son. So do I. As I said, the possibilities for a psychic healer are endless.” He sat up straight. “And all of them beneficial, with no harm to your son.”
Del rubbed the bridge of her nose, suddenly exhausted. She didn’t want to look at the situation from Dr. Cheshire’s point of view. She didn’t want to see any of his points. She didn’t want to think of the baby growing inside her as some Messiah.
She just wanted home.
Except home wasn’t safe any longer.
Sensing her shift in mood, Hawk took over.
“Dr. Cheshire, even if I choose to believe that the ends you wanted were good, the means were deplorable. I can also guarantee what Lansing wanted from your research wasn’t a world full of healers to help the unfortunate.”
“But we shared a dream!”
“He trained me to be a soldier,” Alec said quietly. “I can do a lot of things with my power, but he trained me to be a weapon instead.”
“A powerful healer can also be a powerful weapon. Alec’s power is visible and tangible. Lansing wanted a different sort of weapon. A healer could cause a heart attack with a look,” Hawk said.
“No! That’s not what I wanted!” Cheshire said. “I can’t answer for what Richard Lansing wanted. What I wanted was to make advances in treating disease. It’s not just about healing one person at a time. A healer could potentially teach cells to replicate in a laboratory. Nerve cells, especially brain cells, are lost forever when damaged. What if a healer could force them to replicate? Imagine the advances we could make in treating brain and spinal injuries. People could walk again. They could regain lost brain function.” He put his head in his hands.
“If Mr. Lansing wanted a soldier, that is news to me. You have no idea how much this research could have benefitted people peacefully.”
“Oh, I have some idea,” Hawk snapped.
“Um, yes, you would, Mr. Drake, with your abilities. I stand corrected.”
Del almost laughed. Cheshire was accepting Hawk’s words as a correction of fact, not as an insult.
Cheshire pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes. “If your child is safe and grows up healthy, Ms. Sefton, he will be a wonder of the world. Can you say you truly don’t want that?”
“A good result doesn’t excuse rape,” she snapped. “And there’s a lot to be said for normal versus world savior. My parents were big on their need to save the world from evil, Dr. Cheshire. Turns out they weren’t chasing destiny. They were the evil they feared.”
Cheshire stared down at the table again. “I was very wrong. I’m so sorry.” He looked at her. “What can I do to atone?”
Del’s hand slipped to pat the gun again. She didn’t trust Cheshire’s turnaround. He’d do anything to stay close to her son, his precious Messiah, his world savior.
“I don’t know, Doctor, you tell me, what can you do to make it up to me?”
“I would love to examine you and check on the child’s progress.”
Fuck you.
“You’re not putting a finger on her,” Hawk snapped.
Del put up a hand, and Hawk subsided. “You’re not an ob-gyn, Dr. Cheshire. What do you mean when you say ‘examine me’?”
“An ultrasound would gather the information I need for growth,” Cheshire said. “The last one I saw was over a month ago. Another look at how your son is growing is essential and it needs to be done soon.” He paused. “I would only need to see the result, not perform the test.”
“I’ll think about it,” Del muttered.
“Please, even if you won’t let me see the ultrasound results, find a qualified doctor and have it done. It’s important.”
“So was my consent to carry this child.” She stood. She was not going to sit here and listen to pleas from him, even if he was truly repentant. She might not want to kill him but she was nowhere near being ready to accept him as her son’s doctor. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to let him see her worry about whether her son was healthy.
“There is a way you can help.” Hawk grabbed a legal pad and a pencil from the cabinet on the side of the room. He slapped them in front of Cheshire. “Write down every conversation you ever had with Edward Genet. Any little detail, anything that can help us find him.”
“And the ultrasound?”
Hawk curled his hand into a fist.
“This isn’t a negotiation,” Del said. “If you want to atone, if you truly feel badly for what you’ve done, you’ll help us find these people out to take my baby from me.”
Cheshire nodded. “I understand.”
“Anything you remember might contain a clue,” Alec said. “You should want Genet too, Doctor. He blew up your lab, killed your assistant and trashed your home.”
“I will do my best.” Cheshire bent to the legal pad.
“You damn well better, because my son deserves it. I grew up with parents who dragged me all over the country to ‘protect’ me. I won’t have my son live the same life.”
Chapter Seventeen
Philip insisted to Del that she get some rest after they left the room. She agreed so readily that he knew he’d guessed right about her exhaustion. With the baby growing at an accelerated rate, that was no surprise.
Alec agreed to stay with Dr. Cheshire and get what he could about Genet from him.
“Alec, one last thing,” Del asked before he went back inside. “It’s a little thing and it’s going to sound dumb, but could you ask Cheshire if he e
ver saw Genet wear a tie with lions on it?”
“Doesn’t sound dumb, especially if the tie was distinctive,” Philip said.
“It was. The lions reminded me of those symbols you see on the shields of knights in the movies. There were three golden lions, facing outward, on a red tie.”
“I’ll ask Cheshire.”
“And we can do a Google search as well,” Philip noted. “After you get some rest.”
Alec ducked back into the conference room, and Philip was alone in the hallway with Del. He slipped an arm around her waist. Instead of objecting, as he’d feared, she leaned her head on his shoulder for support. He drew her into his arms. He closed his eyes, trying to sear the moment into his memory. How long since he had felt as human as this? He couldn’t remember. Maybe he never had.
“How close are you to finding Genet?” Her voice was muffled against his shirt.
“We’re tracking how he managed to infiltrate Orion Systems, and we have a lead on his vehicle from this morning. I’ll check on it as soon as I see you safely resting.”
She shook her head. “No. I want to go with you to check on that.”
It would be quick enough to take her to the CIC where Gabe was likely still working. “All right.”
He led her to the entrance door to the lower level, the one that looked like wood but was steel underneath the paint.
“You take no chances here,” she said as he opened the door and ushered her through.
“I’d feel better if we weren’t still working off Lansing’s security system.”
Gabe had said he planned to upload another program to run the various locks, cameras and other devices that kept the Phoenix Institute safe. But writing the program took time, and it also took finding people they could trust to do it.
Now that Del was here, Philip wondered how paranoid he should be. He’d rather take Del to one of his safe houses, havens known only to him. But Genet and his people surely knew where Del was at the Institute. They might pounce the minute she left the facility. With planning, he could work around that and find a hidden way to get her out. But not today.
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