by Vi Carter
“He’s not coming to meet Siobhan. She fucking hates him.”
Darragh holds his hand over his heart. “She wounds me with her words.”
“Then you’re not going.” Shane gives a final note that I don’t like.
“Don’t be a dick, Shane. Darragh can take care of himself, or if you’re that worried, why don’t you stay with him?”
Everyone seems to be holding their breaths. Una stiffens beside me, but I don’t give a crap.
“Shane, I’ll stay with him.” Una’s voice carries a note of pleading.
“No, I don’t want you around him. You know that.”
“Jeez, everyone seems to really hate Darragh.” Darragh doesn’t sound hurt at all.
“Darragh, I don’t hate you.” Una rests her hand on his, and I’m waiting for Shane to flip the table. It’s almost comical, only I don’t like Shane’s attitude towards Finn.
“That’s that settled,” I tell Shane as I get up. No one speaks as I put my cup in the sink. I need a shower and fresh clothes. Leaving the kitchen, Darragh is on my heels.
“So I was wondering about the job we started but didn’t finish?” He waggles his eyebrows as he follows me into my bedroom.
“Don’t you think you’re in enough trouble?” I ask while pulling off my boots.
“Nah, that case was swallowed up into a black hole.”
“I don’t get it. They had your finger prints in the woman’s bed room. How did that disappear?”
Darragh smirks now as he takes a cigarette from behind his ear.
“Don’t light that up in my room,” I warn him, and he pushes it back behind his ear.
“So turns out Siobhan’s aunty was the town’s bike. She was doing a few young lads, mostly farmers in the area. So they didn’t just find my finger prints but others too.” He bounces down on my bed now as I remove my jumper.
“So I took one for the team. Said I was banging her.” He shivers, and I bark a quick laugh at him.
“You’re not right in the head,” I tell him, getting up and slipping my phone out of my jeans before removing them.
“So am I back in?”
“Yeah sure.” He whoops.
“Now get out of my room.” I enter the bathroom and turn on the shower.
“You’re the best, Connor,” Darragh shouts before closing my bedroom door.
***
I meet Siobhan in a small bistro in Kingscourt. I can see her and Finn through the large front windows. They look happy. I’m approaching the table when she looks up at me. Her brown eyes, sallow skin and long dark hair make her look foreign.
“Siobhan?” I ask, and she smiles, flashes me a set of white teeth. She half rises and takes my outstretched hand.
“So great to meet you.” She seems genuinely happy, and Finn is grinning as I sit down. Guilt churns in my stomach now seeing him happy with me here. He must have been so angry when I left.
“You too. Finn, here, won’t shut up about you.” A small laugh bubbles up her throat, and she smiles across at Finn.
“All good I hope?”
“Every single word was praising you.” She smiles softly again. She’s easy to chat with, and we reminisce and laugh a lot. It made me remember how much I missed Finn and how I didn’t think I could walk away again and leave him behind. Now it wasn’t just Finn I would be leaving but Ava. That was becoming less of an option as each day moved by.
When Siobhan goes to bathroom, I know what Finn will ask. “So, what do you think?” He’s looking for the approval.
“Of what?” I get a smack on the arm for that, and I grin. “She’s exactly what I thought she would be. You did good.” His smile is wide now as he plays with the sugar sachets on the table.
“I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
“That’s a big commitment.” This will be the first O’Reagan wedding, and to think Finn would be the first.
“Yeah, I want her forever.” His words are so sincere, and it makes my mind go to Ava.
“You’ve turned into quite the sap,” I tell him to lighten the mood and he shrugs.
“What can I say.” His eyes flicker up, and Siobhan sits down.
“So what about you, Connor. Have you got a girlfriend?” Her innocent question doesn’t feel so innocent to me.
“No, I can’t seem to find one that will stay.”
“I don’t believe that for a second,” she giggles, and I smile at her. She’s sweet, and I’m happy for Finn. Out of all of us, he deserves a happily ever after. We stay for a while longer before Siobhan has to get ready for work.
“It was a pleasure meeting you.” I give both her cheeks a kiss and wink at Finn. But he isn’t like Shane. He looks happy with my affection towards Siobhan. Finn goes back with Siobhan, and I drive my car back to the house.
How is your day?
I sit in the car and wait for Ava to text back, it doesn’t take her long.
Here with Nan. She’s so happy you stayed last night. So am I. x Will I see you tonight?
Ah shit. I should have checked to see if she needed to be dropped off anywhere.
How did you get there? Tell Nan I said hi. I’ll be there tonight. X
Looking up, I see Shane leaning against the garage door. He just isn’t going to give me a break today.
I read Ava’s message before getting out.
Taxi. Nan said hi back. LOL okay I will have food ready. What time?
“You can’t be interfering in how we run things here.”
I slam the car door. “I’m not one of your lackeys, Shane.” I move past him, and he pushes me back into the garage. I clench my fists.
“Don’t touch me again,” I warn him, and he raises both eyebrows.
“Darragh is a loose cannon. Finn is the only one who can keep him in line-“
“I. Don’t. Care.” I say each word clearly.
“I won’t sit there as you dictate where we can and can’t go.”
Shane nods. “Like how you crossed into the north when you shouldn’t have.” My heart stills, but I remember breathing, facial expression, move slightly but not too much.
“You’re as bad as Liam. I was in Monaghan. That’s hardly the fucking north.”
“Belfast. Father’s informant told us.”
I’m nodding now. “Well he’s not doing a very good job is he? And have you actually met him?” I fold my arms across my chest. “I didn’t think so, Shane. Are we done?”
“You seem to forget that I have eyes everywhere. So I do hope you’re sleeping with Ava to gain information for me.” His smirk has me taking a step back before I wipe it off his face.
“She knows nothing.”
“Is that why she was seen at the Gardaí station?”
Bastard has eyes everywhere.
“I don’t get you, Shane. Why put me on the job if you have others on it?”
“Because I don’t trust you.”
“Then ask one of your other brothers to do it.”
He shifts and looks away before remembering himself and relaxing, but the tell was there. He couldn’t go to them. Why? I wasn’t sure.
“I will.” His lie has me snorting at him.
“So my job here is done?” I ask hoping to catch him out, but his response I don’t like at all.
“Yeah consider your job done.” He leaves the garage, and his words unsettle me. He has someone watching Ava. I just pray it isn’t Brian.
I should be there around eight. If you need me for anything just ring. X
I return to the house feeling very unsettled. I didn’t really think Shane would dismiss me like that. That could mean I’d read this situation completely wrong, or he was going to take care of it himself. The thoughts of him putting his hands near Ava had me stiffening. Panic swirls viciously inside my stomach, and when I find him in the kitchen alone, I can’t help my next words. They are stupid and reckless, but I need to protect Ava. Right now, there seems to be only one thing that Shane cares about more than himself.
He’s alone and looks up immediately when I step into the kitchen. I don’t know what he sees in my eyes, but he’s standing now.
“If you touch Ava, I mean one hair on her head, I will hurt Una.” The lie sounds convincing with how my body coils and tightens at the idea of him hurting Ava.
His response is unexpected. He charges me. I wasn’t ready and find myself on my back. His fists hit my face hard and fast, and I flip him on one of his pauses. I don’t hesitate, but make each punch heavy and fast. He gains the upper hand again as he pushes my head into the floor his knee connecting with my back knocking the air from my lungs.
If I don’t get out of this position, he’ll win. I snap my head back, connecting with his face. I’m released and standing. Shane’s up too as blood sprays from his nose and makes a path way down his top. Liquid drips from my ears, and when I brush my fingertips to my ear, my fingers come away slick with blood.
“That one’s for free,” I tell him, and he charges again only this time I’m ready. The uppercut connects with his chin, and Shane’s head snaps back as he stumbles and hits the floor. That punch had taken many men down, but Shane is getting back up.
“You want some more?” I’m egging him on when Liam arrives.
“That’s enough,” he warns us, and Shane seems to loosen, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off me. I drop my fists.
“Yeah, I’ll let you walk away this time,” I tell Shane, and his temper snaps again as he moves towards me. I’m ready, but Liam wraps an arm around Shane’s chest.
“Some battles you just can’t win,” he tells Shane, and I smirk.
“You hear that. Liam even thinks you’re weak.” A vein bulges along his neck.
“No, Connor you’re wrong. Shane will out maneuver you any day. He just won’t use his fists. While fists is all you have, that will fade with time, and then so will you.”
“Fuck you,” I tell Liam and leave the room. I want to hurt someone. His words shadowing my thoughts now and I know he will out maneuver me when it comes to Ava. Because this is what Shane is good at.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
AVA
Nan looks so much brighter today, and she’s been a ray of sunshine since I told her about Connor spending the night and coming over again tonight.
“You be careful, Birdy. That one has the armor to break hearts,” she warns me, and I know she’s right. I’m already falling hard for Connor. Anymore time with him, I’ll be in so deep, I won’t be able to get back out.
“But who am I kidding? That boy is here to stay. Just look at you Birdy. A heart of gold.” I squeeze Nan’s hand.
“I really like him,” I confess.
“Sure, don’t I know. It’s written all over your face. You’re in love.”
My eyes widen. “I don’t think it’s love, but….” I trail off. It’s pretty close.
“Anyway, I have to get to work. I’m on a short shift only three to seven.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Now don’t be coming back up here tomorrow. Take the day off, and I’ll see you when you have time.”
I kiss her cheek and ignore her. “I’ll see you again in the morning,” I tell her, and she purses her lips together trying to appear all annoyed.
“See you, Birdy, and love you.”
“Love you, too,” I tell her as I leave the hospital ward and make my way down to the taxi rank.
I get to work twenty minutes later. I’m early, but I head on in and am surprised to find the bar and lounge empty. Normally, Paul and his friends would be here, but the place is deserted.
“Hello?” I call out as I stuff my bag and jacket under the desk.
I scream as Patrick seems to materialize at the other side of the bar. “Jesus, Patrick I didn’t see you.” I’m half laughing as I clutch my heart.
“Ah sorry Ava, I didn’t mean to scare you.” I’m waving off his apology.
“Hope everything was alright the other day, I was worried.” Patrick looks away with guilt shadowing his eyes. I try to think and remember now how I left work, running out the door like the hounds of hell where on my heels.
“I forgot. Yeah, everything was fine. Don’t be worrying.” Now I understand his guilt. He had after all stood there and didn’t intervene. Patrick scratches his jaw, dark circles under his eyes, makes me want to take away his guilt. He has enough on his plate, and going up against Brian wasn’t exactly an option.
“Everything is fine, Patrick,” I reassure him again, and this time when he glances up he nods, desperate to believe me. “I better get to work before the boss catches me slacking him,” I tell him, and he smiles a little.
All through my shift, I can only think of one thing: Connor. He is consuming my every thought. He is keeping a smile on my face. Paul and his friends arrive and even ask me what I’m smiling about.
“Mind your own business,” I answer, but I can’t stop the stupid smile that keeps creeping across my face.
I start to polish all the glasses that are never used but are mostly decoration above the bar. The dust has me sneezing and I make a mental note not to let it get into this kind of state again.
“Ava.” It’s Paul’s voice that has me looking down, but my eyes snap to Brian who stands beside him.
My heart immediately starts to slam against my chest. I drop the cloth and get down off the bar. “I went to your place last night, but you weren’t there. Where were you?” His blue eyes are ablaze with anger.
“You’re barred!” My voice carries across the bar, but the anger I feel right now isn’t containable. He might have put his hands on me. But not my nan. She raised me, loved me, protected me, and I brought him to her door.
“Get out!” My shouts make him flinch, and it gives me a sense of power. I can feel Patrick standing behind me.
“You heard her, you’re barred.” At first Patrick’s words give me confidence, I haven’t heard in a while until Brian starts to laugh.
“Patrick, get your dumb ass in the back and close your little door.” And like that, I am reminded of the power that Brian holds over people. Patrick doesn’t move, and Brian’s eyes flash with violence. I don’t want to see Patrick hurt, and I bow my head ready to give in.
“I think you should leave.” I’m looking at Paul and his friends all holding cue sticks from the pool table all ready for action. If you ignored the slight tremble in Paul’s voice, or how his friends hands shake, you would think they would win this.
“What are you serving today, Ava? Hmmm? Courage? Because if everyone doesn’t take a step back from me, I’m really going to lose it. You want that, Ava? You want more people hurt because of you?”
Brian grips the bar like it might be my neck. This was all going to end badly.
“Paul, please, it’s fine. I’m fine.” They move away, and they all wear a look of relief. My eyes dim, but Brian’s seem to shine with victory. Patrick doesn’t leave, and I don’t ask him too. Yet.
“What do you want?” I grit my teeth.
“I want you to tell me where you were last night?”
“At home.”
His fist slams into the bar counter. “Stop lying. I checked.”
“What you can see through my door?”
“No, Ava. I got a key off Sean. Some of your clothes were gone.”
I want to throw up on the counter. He was in my apartment, with my stuff and as for Sean giving out my key without permission. He really was the worst landlord ever. .
“I stayed at a hotel.”
“Which one?”
“Jesus, Brian, can’t you just leave me alone.” The whine in my voice comes through.
“You lied to me, Ava. You’re still lying to me.”
“Brian, maybe you should go,” Patrick speaks behind me. The sound is odd.
“Maybe you should shut your mouth before I close it permanently.” His threat has Patrick tutting, but silence falls. Now I pray for customers, but no one arrives.
“Patrick, can I take a break?” I ask, still loo
king at Brian.
“Yeah take whatever time you need.” I don’t turn to Patrick as I move up the bar and watch Brian follow me. I grab my bag and coat and try to make my way outside; it will be safer if I’m surrounded by lots of people. But Brian blocks the door.
“You’re testing my patience, Ava.” He takes a step towards me, and I take one back.
“I just want to be left alone,” I tell him and soften my voice.
“Please, Brian, just let me go.” My words were meant to make him remember what we had, but they don’t. Instead, he throws his head back and starts laughing.
“That’s not going to happen, sweetheart.”
“What do you want from me?” I am shouting again, but I can’t keep doing this.
“You. I want you.” He’s gripping my arms and bile rises up my throat.
“I don’t want you,” I whisper to him, knowing my words will bring out his anger.
“You’re such a dumb tramp.” His words are as effective as a slap to the face. I step away from him and don’t respond. “I’m the only fucking reason you’re alive.” He runs his hands through his hair.
I have no idea what that means, but Brian has a vision of himself as a God. “I want to leave. Move.” My throat burns, but I need to get away from him now. His hands grip my shoulders again his fingers digging in.
“Where the fuck were you last night?” His anger is vibrating up my arms.
“With Connor.” I know I shouldn’t have said it, but I want to see the hurt on his face, and the moment I do, I regret it.
His slap knocks me to the floor. “You’re such a fucking slut, Ava.” I’m staring at grey tiles, telling my lungs to take in oxygen, telling myself that this can’t happen again. I’m picturing my nan. So small in the hospital, to think he put his hands on her. I’m up, and when my hand connects with his face, the sound is so satisfying, I get two slaps in before he gets over the shock that I hit him. Gripping my wrists, the pain runs up my arms, and I try to knee him in the balls, but he moves his leg.
