I nod. Feel a little cold inside. I don’t like thinking he’s keeping something from me. Almost as much as I don’t like thinking I could have lost him. That we may never have met. That I would have died in that cave when his family found me.
And then there’s the fact that he could still die. That he will. Sure, not now, but someday. Long before me. A dull throbbing gnaws at my temples. I dig my fingertips into the pain.
But this is our first real date. I don’t want to ruin it, so I change the subject. “So. Where are we going?”
“You like Greek food? It’s a bit of a drive, but it’s worth it. Great hummus. Our first date should be special.” He grins, slides me a glance. “Finally, huh?”
I smile, but my lips feel brittle, trembly. I manage to hold it in place. For a little while at least, I can pretend everything’s okay. That Cassian’s not somewhere out there…and farther away, beyond this desert, the pride isn’t waiting for me.
Lights tattoo our rearview mirror. I twist in the seat and squint against the glare. The vehicle sticks close. Directly behind us. This time it’s no car eager to pass us.
My heart thuds, the sound fast in my ears. I can’t help it—I think of Cassian. Or worse, the pride. Severin. I don’t imagine Cassian would be so obvious. He already confronted me. He might be following me, watching from the shadows, but he wouldn’t reveal himself like this. He promised.
I twist my fingers in my lap and glance at Will. He lifts one of my hands from my lap, laces our fingers together and squeezes. The touch makes me feel strong. Safe.
Strange that I should feel so safe with a draki hunter. But there it is. I can’t deny it. Don’t even try anymore. Nor can I deny the hopeful stirrings in me that make me believe I can stay here. Forever. In this desert. If maybe I couldn’t survive and flourish with him at my side.
The vehicle behind us honks its horn. My skin contracts, snaps sharply.
“Are they tailgating us?” I ask, hoping I’m overreacting, that I’m just paranoid because of Cassian’s visit, still so fresh.
Will sets his mouth grimly. “Yeah.”
“Who are they? What do they want?”
“It’s Xander.”
My heart chills above my surging lungs. “Oh.” Cassian would have been better in my mind. At least I know what to expect with him.
He glances at me. “We don’t have to pull over. He’ll go away. I don’t want you around him anymore. It’s too risky.”
“No.” I shake my head. “We should pull over. Why wouldn’t we? It will make him more suspicious if you make a big deal about keeping me away from him—”
“It’s our date—”
“Let’s just get it over with. Then, we can have our night.” I flutter a hand. “Give him what he wants—”
Will’s harsh laughter fills the car. It’s an uneasy sound.
“What’s so funny?”
“You don’t get it at all, do you?”
I stare at him, at his strong profile. “I guess I don’t. Why don’t you explain?”
He drives, glaring straight ahead. Finally, he says in a growl, “He wants you.”
I jerk. “Me?” Feel his words like I’ve been slapped. “Why?”
“Well, there’s that he thinks there’s more to you. He still suspects you know too much. That I’ve told you everything. And then there’s the constant competition between us.” His long fingers flex over the steering wheel. “We were born three months apart, you know.”
I didn’t.
Will continues, “He’s a grade behind because he hunts. Whenever he can. He’s so messed up that he even goes out alone, even leaves Angus.”
I arch a brow at that.
“Crazy, I know. But he hasn’t been all that balanced since…” He stops.
“Since?”
“Since I got so good at tracking and became important to the family. More important than Xander.”
I stiffen at the reminder that he’s a tracker, the best in his family. How many draki have been killed or captured because of him? Yet I also feel empathy. Because I know what it feels like to be used, valued only for what you can do…not who you are, not who you want to be.
“Since birth, we’ve been pitted against each other. Our fathers did it to us. Their father to them.” He nods. “Natural, I guess. To make us stronger. Back when hunting draki was more dangerous, we didn’t have technology on our side. A lot who left on the hunt never returned.”
This, I know. At least I know that the draki have never been more vulnerable than now. Hunters have become wiser, deadlier adversaries against our dwindling numbers. In this day and age of net launchers and all-terrain vehicles and communication devices that make surrounding and capturing us easier. In a time when draki are losing the dragon traits that have defended them through the generations. All except me.
Now Will and his people hold the advantage—
I shudder, hating this. This thinking of us as separate. Me versus him. A part of me turns cold with dread that it will always be this way.
“Xander hates me.” He shrugs like it’s natural.
This is beyond my understanding. Despite everything Mom has done, despite the tension between me and Tamra, my family would never deliberately hurt me. Our bond runs too deep.
Will looks at me as he eases his foot off the gas. “Sure you want me to pull over? He’ll steal you away at the first chance if for no reason than to bug me.”
I cross my arms. Lift my chin. “He can’t steal me. I’m not a toy for two boys to fight over. Pull over.”
And yet unease slides into the pit of my belly, rests there like a coiled snake.
Because the creepy feeling I get around Xander is now justified. Has become more than a vague feeling. Sick dread curls around my heart as we slow down. If Xander ever finds out, he’ll do his best to destroy me, not just because of what I am but also to hurt Will. This certainty sinks slowly, deeply into my chest.
We pull over into a diner parking lot. The smell of greasy bacon hangs in the air. We idle at the back of the lot, far from the few cars parked near the doors.
A big four-by-four truck pulls up alongside us. Windows roll down and I look across Will. Xander and Angus sit in the front, smiling artificially. Easy and friendly in a way that makes my flesh shiver.
“Hey, we went by your house,” Xander calls out. “Your dad said you left for the night.”
“Yeah.” Will’s hand squeezes mine. “I have plans.”
“I see that.” Xander nods, his gaze fixed on me. “We’re headed up to Big Rock. Want to come?”
“We have other plans.”
Angus’s fleshy lips curl. “Ah, whipped already, I see.”
I really hate him.
“Shut up,” Will tosses out, already moving to put the gear in drive, but then I catch a motion behind Will’s cousins. A hand emerges from the backseat and closes over the headrest behind Xander.
“Wait—stop,” I hiss.
Tamra’s head pops up from the backseat.
“Tamra?” I call, practically in Will’s lap now.
She’s hanging out with Xander? This is the guy she was talking about…the new guy she likes? No wonder she didn’t want me going out with Will tonight. She must have known there was a chance she’d run into us. My stomach churns with the knowledge that I might have put a stop to this development if I had been around and not suspended—if I had demanded more information about her life. Maybe if I had paid closer attention to my sister. If I had just told her the truth, she’d understand the danger. My fingers clench around Will’s hand.
Tamra grins at me, an impish light glinting her eyes. She’s enjoying this. Knows that I won’t like her hanging out with these guys. “Hey, Jacinda. See you made it out tonight after all.”
I slide my gaze to Will, hoping he can read the message in my eyes: I can’t leave Tamra with them.
“You sure?” he whispers, leaning his head close.
I nod, mouth the word, “Yes.”<
br />
He sighs in understanding. “All right,” Will calls grimly, turning back to his cousins again. “We’ll come for a little while.”
Xander smiles smugly, and I know this isn’t by accident. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He set my sister up as bait. For whatever reason, he wants me and Will on Big Rock.
30
Several other vehicles converge at the bottom of Big Rock at the same time we do.
Bodies climb out of cars. Shadowy figures against a smoky night. Doors slam. I search for Tamra as we start out, hoping to pull her aside and tell her everything. Anything to get her to leave with Will and me.
Electric lanterns swing from hands, lighting the way as we ascend Big Rock. I spot her flaming hair. Even in the darkness, it holds light. She avoids me, moving neatly amid the group as we climb, never looking at me.
“Hey, you okay?” Will says close to my ear.
“What is this place?” I mumble.
“Just a place people like to party.”
I shake my head, glance into the pressing blackness, where the light does not reach. “What’s she doing here?” I mutter.
“Looking for some fun. Same as everyone else here.”
Yes, being a normal kid, I think. Stirring up trouble. Except she couldn’t have chosen worse company.
Again, I wonder what she’s been up to this week. Has she been studying with Xander those nights she went out? I feel sick at the thought of her in his house, no doubt near a room of horrors like the one in Will’s house.
I glance around the group of people climbing to the top with us, recognizing a few as older cousins of Will. Others I don’t know. Their faces are hard-edged. The eyes dissolute, flat, and dark in the night. Dark and motionless as black space. When we reach the top, Will nods and greets several of them in a quiet, muted way, keeping me close to his side, almost behind him.
My skin crawls, muscles tense, and my back tingles prickly hot and itchy, readying for flight. Escape.
Will’s gaze darts. Uneasy, watchful—full predator mode.
I tug my hand free to face him. My heart slows, stills in my too-tight chest as I search his face. “Is this a…” I glance around, notice a few of the guys look in their twenties or early thirties. Xander, one arm draped around Tamra, greets them jovially, slapping their backs. I drop my voice and lean in to Will. “Is this some kind of gathering for hunters?”
His gaze is overly bright, apologetic. He nods only once, but I have my answer.
So many wolves. And I’ve walked right into their den.
We mill around the top of Big Rock, a smooth stretch of hilltop that crouches above one end of Chaparral. I stare down at the town sitting deep inside the desert basin. The view is beautiful.
An hour passes, but it feels like forever. I’m supposed to be on a date right now, in a restaurant somewhere down in that glowing city. Instead, I’m here with a crowd consisting of mostly hunters. The lanterns form a small jagged circle. A stereo sits in the middle, throbbing music into the night.
I’m glad for the dark. Glad that no one can see my skin glimmer, flash and dim with amber light, my body’s warning for me to flee. And I would if I could…but not without Tamra.
“We can leave whenever you want,” Will says beside me. He holds my arm, his thumb tracing over my erratic skin, and I know he’s aware of its constant shifting.
I follow the smooth fall of Tamra’s red hair as she steps up to the keg. In the back of my mind, I wonder how they lugged a keg all the way up here. “Just give me a minute.”
Walking away from Will, I approach her, determination tightening my shoulders. Closing my hand around her arm, I drag her away from the rowdy group and out of the circle of light.
Xander starts to follow, but Will stops him. The two loom nearby, exchanging heated words as I pull her deeper into shadow.
Tamra clutches an empty cup. I glare from the cup to her. “You don’t even like the taste of beer.”
In the near dark, I make out her smile. Her eyes gleam brightly in the night. “Just assimilating. One of us has to.”
I ignore the jibe and shake my head. “This isn’t you.”
“Careful, Jacinda,” she warns in mocking tones. “You’re glowing a bit. But then, I guess you could just tell your date you’re into body glitter.”
“What are you doing here?” I demand.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m here because of you. Xander Rutledge? C’mon, Tamra. You have to know his reputation. The girls who go out with him—”
“Ah, big sister. Really making those eleven minutes count, huh?” She leans in. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. I already have a mother. Hey,” she says with a laugh, “same mother as yours actually.”
Is she drunk? “I know you’re mad at me, but you shouldn’t be here with these—”
“And you should?” Tamra flings a hand toward the group, toward Will standing at the edge, waiting for me. “You’re supposed to be home. Mom said you couldn’t go out with him. What are you doing here?”
I glance pointedly at the empty plastic cup in her hand. “It’s safe to say Mom wouldn’t be happy with either one of us right now.”
Tamra shrugs, scuffs her shoe. Pebbles pop, roll down the slope into the black night. “Yeah, well. What are you going to do about it, Jace? Call her?”
“Tamra, please. Come with me—”
“And what? Crash your date?” She laughs shortly. “I don’t think so.”
“Will won’t mind.”
“No.” She cocks her head and makes an ugly sound in her throat. “But I mind. I’ve lived in your shadow long enough. Xander’s into me. And I’m into him.” Her voice cracks here a bit, and I don’t believe it. Not for one moment. She’s not into Xander. She’s into doing whatever it takes to fit in, and if it happens to piss me off in the process that’s just an added bonus. “Just go away and leave me alone.” Turning, she walks back to the party.
“Jacinda?” Will approaches me in the dark.
Shaking, I turn into his arms. He smooths a hand over the side of my face, brushes the hair behind my ear, holds me close. “Are you all right? Do you want to go?”
Leave? Yes. Leave Tamra? A chill chases over my skin.
I suck in a breath, say against his chest, “I hate to leave her with…”
“Xander,” he supplies grimly.
I nod. After everything Will’s told me of his cousin, I’m convinced he’ll use Tamra. Hurt her. He can’t get to me or Will, but he can get to her. If he thinks there’s more to me, that I might be an enkros, he must assume Tamra’s hiding something, too. In her state, she’ll make an easy target for him. Because she’s that mad at me—that fed up with the life forced on her.
“You can’t get her to come with us?” he asks.
“She’s so mad at me,” I whisper, choke a little.
“Ah, Jacinda.” He pulls my face from his chest and rests his forehead to mine, kisses me with dry, cool lips. “You can’t beat yourself up about this. You can’t help what you are.”
I nod, but I’m not too sure about that.
I haven’t exactly tried to be what Mom and Tamra want. I’ve fought it—them—every step of the way. I’ve clung to my draki when it would have been safer for all of us if I just let it go. Even stayed here when Cassian tracked me down. Maybe that does make me selfish.
And now, no matter what I try to tell myself, the only reason I’ve decided to stay, the only reason I’m even here, is because of Will. He’s an addictive drug to me that I can’t quit. Again, selfish.
He kisses me a second time and I let it distract me. Let the kiss grow hotter between us. Happy to forget where I am.
Crazy as it sounds, Will’s my refuge. Someone who knows everything about me. And likes me anyway. Loves me. Understands me. Isn’t out to change me. He’s the only one I can say that about.
I pull back to gaze at him, sliding my hands over his hard shoulders, palms down. Our breaths merge, mi
ngle. Grow fast and hard. His eyes glitter, tiny gold torches in the dark. My fingers tighten. Clutch his shirt. Our mouths brush again. Once. Twice. Savoring the taste of each other.
Abruptly, his lips change. Feel cold. Icy. With dull dread, I know it’s me. He’s not cold. My temperature has changed. My skin snaps. Too hot, it hisses like the drop of water on a hot stove.
The pounding beat of music fades. Voices and laughter disappear as the burn builds, twists up through my center in a writhing lick of flame.
I sigh. Feel the release of steam from my lips. It escapes before I can catch it.
He winces against my lips, pulls back sharply. “Jacinda…”
Before I can lean away and force coldness back in so that I don’t singe my boyfriend—a voice rings out and does it for me. The smolder dies in my lungs. Dropping my hands from Will, I slowly turn.
“So this is why you want to stay here.”
My gaze finds Cassian immediately, a large, dark shape rising out of the night. His hair swings, brushing his broad shoulders as he walks. “So much for your promise,” I spit out.
Will tenses, pulls me close to his side, the stance protective.
Cassian. My every pore vibrates with fury, pulses wide.
He doesn’t even look my way. It’s like he’s not even aware of me. He glares at Will, lips pulled back in a snarl. “Don’t touch her.”
“Cassian, don’t.” I stop, cringing, blinking tight, wishing I had not just spoken his name.
Now Will knows.
His gaze swerves to me. The flesh ticks near his eye. “Cassian?” he demands.
I don’t answer. Don’t breathe. Don’t risk freeing the steam that’s risen to my throat. The steam that I want to release full blast on Cassian. I turn and stare unblinking at him. Warning him with my eyes to behave himself.
“This is Cassian?” Will repeats, really hung up on that point, and how can I blame him?
“Will, let me handle this.”
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