by T. A. Grey
Darien’s hands curled into fists, his eyes clouded over with anger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. None of you do. You didn’t lose your mate that day. You don’t have to live knowing that if you’d just been there, you could have done something, could have saved them.”
Rome shook his head, clenched his jaw. “How do you know that? How do you know you could have saved her? The doctor said that it was a severe complication with the baby, that even if she’d been in an emergency they would have been hard pressed to save her. He said she died in minutes from a clot or something. She wasn’t your mate, Darien,” he said the last gently.
Darien exploded to his feet and marched up to Rome. Rome narrowed his eyes and stood.
“I love you, Darien. We all love you. But somewhere in your heart you know that she wasn’t it. Maybe you wanted it to be, and it’s obvious you loved her and the baby, but there’s a time when it’s right to let go. It’s been years. She was leaving you to go back to Greg.”
Darien shoved Rome in the chest, sent him stumbling back. “How would you know that? How the fuck do you know that?”
Rome cocked a brow. “I talked to Greg. I saw him in town a while ago. He was guilt-ridden about everything. About leaving her to begin with. He said he was just scared. The man loved her, really. I think she saw that and that’s why she was going back to him, because he really loved her.”
Darien’s fist flew before he could even think to stop it. He caught Rome’s jaw and sent him down to the ground. Rome stood in a rush and plowed his own into Darien’s stomach. Suddenly Vane was roaring, stepping between them and pushing them both apart.
“Enough!”
“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve had enough. I’m out of here,” Darien said.
“Stop,” Vane ordered. Darien stiffened and slowly turned around to face him.
“What?” The lykaen inside him garbled his words.
Vane got in his face, unflinching at the sight of Darien’s anger. “If you don’t smarten up, then you’re going to lose something great. I’ve seen the way you look at her. You care. And she cares about you.”
“That’s where you’ve got it wrong, Vane. The only thing I care about with Cassie is making sure she stays safe from the man who’s trying to hurt her. That’s all.”
“Looks to me like you’re the one who’s trying to hurt her,” Jacks said.
Darien flinched and backed away. They didn’t get it; they didn’t fucking understand. He didn’t care about Cassie. His heart panged, and he looked away from them all. He couldn’t care for her, there was no more love left in him. He‘d buried it years ago.
“You’re wrong, Darien. I just hope you see it in time.” Vane shook his head and left the room.
Darien didn’t meet the other’s eyes; he turned and stormed out the front door. He came to a stop fast his heart skipped a beat trying to catch up.
“What are you doing here?” Cassie looked up at him with raw pain glittering in her eyes. He swore he could feel his own eyes mimicking hers.
She wobbled on her feet, leaning to the side. He reached out to catch her, but she swiped his arm away and took an unsteady step back.
“You are so mean.” She looked like she was bravely trying to hold back tears. The sight of it was killing him slowly and surely like poison.
“What are you doing here?” A sickening feeling was filling his gut heavy as a bowling ball.
She hiccupped. “I came to tell you that I love you, but obviously I’m just a stupid, hiccup , girl.” A tear slid down one cheek and she rocked unsteadily on her feet.
“Are you drunk, Cassie?” She glared at him and pointed a finger at him.
“This isn’t about that. Yes, I totally drank enough to get a boatload of sailors drunk, but that’s besides the p-point. You are mean. ” She lifted her chin bravely as more tears started rolling down her cheeks. The sight was tearing open his gut. He reached for her, but she stumbled back so fast she nearly fell.
“Dammit, Cassie, let me take you home. You shouldn’t be out here like this. Those girls never should have let you drink.”
She threw out her arms. “I came here to tell you that I love you and I get to here is that you still love her. I would be so good to you, Darien.” Her arms fell loosely to her side. When she spoke her voice held all the misery in the world, “I’ve never been in love before. It sucks. Big time.” She wobbled, trying to turn around but stumbling around instead.
Darien’s heart wouldn’t stop panicking in his chest. He went after her, tried to pull her to a stop. “Let me take you home.”
“I have no home!”
He flinched because she was right and because he was an ass. “I’m sorry, Cassie. I am.”
“Sorry about what?” she said rounding on him. He backed away from her and her pointing finger followed. “Sorry for making love to me. Because that’s what you did. You didn’t screw me; you were sweet, tender, caring. You...you are a tease! ”
He jolted back. “You’re just drunk, Cassie. Let me take you to my place and put you to bed.”
“Aaaargh! I am not a child. I am not just drunk. Do not patriotize me. No, I mean patronize. Yeah, that one. Don’t do that because I’m not going to be here forever.”
He stilled. “What do you mean, Cassie?” She looked away from him with a sad, rueful smile that built the pain in his chest near to a breaking point.
“Nothing. I’m going to go now. I just came because I finally had the courage to say something I’ve been wanting to for awhile now.” She wiped her tears with her sleeve and stood a little straighter as she looked him hard in the eye. “I love you, Darien Kategan. I think we met that day by something far greater than chance. Obviously we’ve had our run, and it wasn’t meant to be forever. Thank you for the memories and ado.” She bowed, had to brace her hands on her knees to keep from toppling forward then slowly teetered around and walked away.
The woman had no idea what she was talking about. She was drunk, and when she sobered up she’d apologize that she’d embarrassed herself so badly.
“Where are you going?” Silence met him, except for the scratch of her shoes on the road. “Answer me, Cassie.”
She lifted a small shoulder and let it fall. He growled, grabbed her by the shoulders, and pulled her into his chest. Her eyes flared with need and heat. If her eyes could pack a punch, he’d be on the ground right now. He cupped her cheek in a hand and ran his thumb over her bottom lip. It was so soft, just like everything about her.
He was a rotten, miserable bastard, but he couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and kissing her. Her lips clung to his softly, bittersweet. Her hands clutched his arms like she was afraid to let go. Darien pressed her closer, kissed her harder, trying to express something that he didn’t know how to say.
She pulled away first and something in him wanted to stop her, bring her close again and just hold her. When she looked at him, her eyes were shut off. He had no idea what she was feeling, but no matter how badly he wanted to know, he couldn’t make himself ask.
He walked her back to Sarina’s. The girls flung open the door when they arrived. All of them wore wide grins and glossy eyes, except for Sarina who held a big glass of milk in her hand.
“You’re back! Yay!”
“How did it go? Did you tell you totally love him?” Alison gushed loudly. Sarina shushed her with an elbow to the stomach.
“He’s right there, Ali!”
“Oh, right.”
Cassie turned so suddenly, she wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest. He saw a tear fall down her cheek. He did the only thing he could think to and wrapped his arms around her. She sniffled against him, making him feel even more like an ass. She didn’t’ deserve someone like him, someone with enough baggage to fill an airport. She deserved someone clean and simple.
She squeezed him tight, then let go and walked into the cabin. He hoped she’d look back, but she didn’t.
Frowning,
he looked at the girls. “Tell her I’ll be by to pick her up tonight.” The girls looked between Cassie and him then leveled him with hard glares.
“You fucked up,” Vera said simply. “You know, brother, I used to think you were smart. Obviously I overestimated your intelligence by mucho .”
“Totally,” Alison said, nodding quickly.
Sarina stepped forward and glared feminine daggers at him. Damn these women were like a pack of lionesses. “You better get your shit together before you lose something that not everyone gets a second chance to have.”
“Mind your own business, Sarina.”
She arched a dainty eyebrow then shut the door in his face.
What a night. Darien headed back to his cabin. His gut felt sick like he’d eaten something bad, and his damn chest hurt. He wished he were back in his single cabin in the middle of nowhere.
He looked back at the cabin where the feisty little vampire was and wished things were different. He wished he could give her what she wanted.
Chapter 13
“Tell us everything that happened,” Sarina said.
Cassie took a deep breath that did nothing to steady her or her wobbly head, and told them everything.
Alison was biting off her fingernails by time she finished and Sarina had grumpily chugged her glass of milk. Vera frowned though, shaking her head.
“My brother’s always been stubborn. I don’t know what it’ll take to make him realize that he does care for you.”
Cassie scoffed. “He doesn’t care. The only thing he cares about with me is that his ‘seed is in my belly’. I never should have had sex with him. Then at least he couldn’t use that as some kind of lame excuse.”
“He’d probably just find some other excuse to use as a crutch,” Sarina said.
“Maybe I should go talk to him,” Vera said thoughtfully. Her words were slurred from the amount of hard lemonades she’d drunk.
“Don’t.” Cassie shook her head and the room spun a few extra times with the motion. “I heard your brothers going at him before I got there. Looks like they already had the convo with him. Didn’t make a lick of difference. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want me. But I love him.” She said that last with such ferocity that the girls all quieted.
“He’ll come around,” Sarina said stoutly. The others didn’t look so hopeful.
“Hey guys, what does ‘lumara’ mean?”
Everyone looked turned to look at her with openmouthed astonishment?
“Did he call you that?” Vera asked with a big grin.
“Well yes, today when we were in the shower. He was still pretty tired. He’d just woken up, but I’ve never heard that word before.”
The Kategan women turned to grin at each other before turning back to Cassie. “It means truemate or bondmate. That’s a special term we use with some we really love, usually our mate,” Alison explained.
Wow. Cassie’s heart leapt at the news. The fact that he called her this didn’t make her feel better though, it made her feel worse. This only gave her more questions. Did he only say it because he was half-asleep? Did he actually mean it? Maybe some part of him did recognize the connection between them like she did.
Cassie wanted to curl up and cry herself to sleep. Her heart was breaking in her chest and the alcohol was only making the pain more depressing. He didn’t love her. He didn’t even want her. He only cared about making sure she wasn’t pregnant. He’d protect her long enough for that, and then go back to brooding in his stupid little cabin.
Cassie perked up at the thought of burning it down. But he’d built it with his own two hands, he’d just build another. If her declaration of love wasn’t enough to turn him around, then nothing she could do work. The thought was like a blow to the heart.
“I’m gonna go use the bathroom,” Cassie mumbled and came to a shaky stand. The room teetered around her and she grabbed onto the back of a chair to steady herself.
“Careful now. When you get back, we’ll trash the male species and make a list of better, hotter guys we can totally set you up with,” Alison chimed.
The girl’s applauded the idea while she escaped to the bathroom. She tossed the lock on the door and went to the sink to toss some cold water on her face. The water felt frigid against her hot cheeks. She blotted her face dry with a hand towel but couldn’t do anything to staunch the flow of fresh tears running down her cheeks.
She glanced out the bathroom window. The drop to the ground was probably about twenty feet. The distance to the forest was about fifty yards. Even now she could see a sentry guard walking along that area.
Her gut clenched with fear and anxiety. She grabbed her stomach. Or maybe she was just going to hurl?
No, she hadn’t drank that much. Okay, maybe she did. She sniffled and went back to the faucet, turning on the water. She checked to make sure it was clear out the window, then she unlocked it and slowly lifted it.
The window made an awful squeak and she winced, pausing. When no one came banging on the door, she lifted it all the way. She glanced down at the drop and swallowed hard. Tossing first one leg out the window, then the other, she took a seat in the window, then jumped down.
The fall went by quickly. Now her heart was pounding hard and fast and loud in her ears. She looked left and right, then focused on the sentry. Using her vampiric speed, she raced across the field to the sentry and tackled him straight to the ground. He moved to attack her, and she stifled her surprise. Well of course he was going to fight her back!
She had no clue how to actually fight a trained warrior like this. Quickly, locking her arms and legs around his big body she looked into his eyes and quickly said, “Please don’t tell anyone. I just want to go. Darien can’t know. Please.” The sentry stopped what was probably going to be a painful attack and relaxed against her.
He looked from her, back to the window that was still open. What seemed like forever later, he finally shook his head and said, “Go but I make no promise. My loyalty is to the Kategans. The first thing I will do is tell Vane. If you want to leave then I suggest you hurry.”
Instead of feeling a burst of happiness at her freedom, she felt overwhelming sadness. She nodded her thanks to the guard and sprinted into the forest.
It was dark and her vision wasn’t the greatest at night. That coupled with the amount of alcohol she’d drank, and she’d pounded them back, had her tripping over tree limbs and her own damned feet.
She kept looking back over her shoulder, panic making her think that at any second she’d see the big lykaen barreling after her. Her heart was tightened with pain, and tears fell faster the further she got from the cabin, from Darien. Soon the tears were cascading down her face.
She tripped over a fallen tree and went flying through the air. Her stomach bottomed out from her like she was falling on a roller coaster. She skidded against the dirt with her landing, scraping her cheek, hands, and legs against the wet dirt floor.
She started to lift herself back up, but collapsed back down with bone-numbing exhaustion. She was pathetic, a miserable weak woman that couldn’t even run.
She smelled him first. Her heart stuttered in her chest and the tears flowed faster.
A big hand grabbed her shoulder and turned her over. His smile was cruel and very happy.
“I told you, I’d get you back, Cassandra.” She saw the fist flying at her but didn’t move. For once in her life, the fresh pain was welcoming. She saw blurry trees before her eyes, and then another hit rocked the other side of her face and she was out.
Chapter 14
Darien slammed the cabin door behind him. It croaked in protest and shuddered at the treatment.
What’s wrong with her? What did she expect from him? That she’d spout her love for him and he was supposed to forget about the past and mate with her right there. God dammit, she’d be a good mate too. He couldn’t deny that, even his beast agreed.
His mind flashed with the image of her holding a small baby with a ful
l head of dark, Kategan hair. He held his breath, the image seemed so real. He could easily see her kissing the baby with that big beautiful smile of hers. He roared, turning and slammed his fist into the wall. The wood crack and splintered, bloodied his hand.
He’d protect her from Daniel and see to it that she got her happy life with a good male. He just couldn’t be that man for her.
A rapid knock at the front door had him flinging it open. It wasn’t the face he was hoping to see though. He recognized the hard look on Vane’s face.
“We got a problem.” His gut tightened so hard that his heart restricted in his chest, it was a wonder he could still breathe.
“What happened to her?” A part of him already knew. Could feel the wrongness of the situation. His beast was whipping its tail back and forth in agitation and crying out in pain.
“She left.”
“What do you mean she left?” he growled, his beast garbling his words.
“She climbed out the bathroom window, tackled Mike at his post, and ran off into the woods.”
Darien was already walking past him. He’d get her back if it were the last thing he did. Vane grabbed his arm.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going after her.”
“She doesn’t seem to want to be around you.”
“Fuck off, Vane. She’s drunk and hurting.” Because of me, he thought. “She doesn’t need to be alone right now.”
Vane shook his head and softly said, “And can you give her what she needs.” Darien’s chest expanded and slowly he exhaled.
“Yeah, I could at one point in my life. But now, Vane? I’m not so sure.” It was the truth, which was startled the hell out of him.
Darien started on a run back to Vane’s house. He knew her scent as good as his own. He’d track her down, kiss her for scaring the shit out of him, and then carry her back to his cabin. Vane’s feet pounded next to his.
