—2—
Although taking care of her mother was hard, Leona received great satisfaction from helping her and learned as much as she could from her. One of the first things she asked Margaret was something she had wondered about for a long time, but until now was too embarrassed to ask.
“How do I find true love, Mama, the way you and Papa did?”
“You don’t find love, Leona. It finds you.”
“What do you mean?” Leona asked.
“Well, sweetheart, every girl hopes she’ll find a handsome prince to sweep her off her feet, but it just doesn’t work that way. If you go looking for the perfect man you’ll be looking for a long, long time, unless, of course, you’re extremely lucky. Now don’t take this the wrong way, but I had a chance to marry someone as handsome and with a much brighter future than your father. But even though he was a good man and I knew I would not have to worry about anything if I married him, I didn’t love him.”
“Who was he, Mama?”
“He was an old high school boyfriend. I thought I loved him when I was dating him, but when he asked me to marry him I realized that I really didn’t love him as much as I thought. And I realized that I didn’t want to spend my life with him. He’s working as a banker now, in Bangor, so life would have been much easier for me if I had married him. But I wouldn’t have been as happy as I am now. After I got to know your father I knew I was really in love this time.”
“How did you know?” Leona asked.
“I can’t explain it; you just know. When I was around him I felt so strange; when he came near me my breathing changed, my stomach tightened up, and my heart almost stopped beating. And when he wasn’t around I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I had this empty feeling inside me that wouldn’t go away.”
“Wow, that sounds awful,” Leona said. “Almost like being sick.”
“It is a kind of sickness, I guess,” Margaret agreed. “You might call it being lovesick. But, believe you me, it’s the kind of sickness that you’d like to have every day of your life; and after I fell in love with your father I’ve felt that way to this day.”
“Does Papa feel that way too?”
“I know he does,” Margaret answered.
“But how can you be so sure?”
“A woman knows. I know by the things he says and by his body language.”
“What do you mean, body language? What’s that?”
“It’s a very mysterious thing, but I’m sure you know what it is,” Margaret answered. “Everyone has body language and I guarantee you that it is more powerful than the English language.”
“Huh? How can that be?” Leona asked.
“I’ll tell you,” Margaret continued. “It’s very easy to lie with words, but it’s near impossible to lie with your body. And so, you can learn a lot more from a person’s body language than you can from their words. Most people can’t easily hide what their body is saying.”
“I still don’t understand,” Leona said.
“For instance, remember the time Mrs. Murphy was visiting me and you took one of my hot molasses cookies, after I had told you not to?”
“Yes, I remember. But how did you know it was me that took it?” Leona asked sheepishly.
“Your body language gave you away. When I asked you about taking the cookie, you were all fidgety and there was stress in your voice when you said no. It was so obvious that you were not being truthful. Even though there was nothing in your words that gave you away, there was a lot in the way you said those words that did. And even if you had said nothing at all, I could see the truth in your face, especially in your eyes. It’s hard to look someone straight in the eyes and lie to them. But I didn’t let on that I knew you were lying to me.”
“Why not?” Leona asked in amazement.
“Because you were only 6 years old at the time and you had always been a good girl, so I saw no need to punish you for such a simple little thing. Besides, I could tell that you would never do it again and I didn’t think there was any need to embarrass you any more than you already were.”
“You were right, Mama. I was so ashamed when I lied to you that I never did it again. Except, of course, for little white lies.”
“And what were those little white lies, young lady?” Margaret asked while feigning anger.
“Nothing important, Mama. You really don’t need to fret. Besides your body language is telling me that you’re not as angry about my white lies as you’re letting on.”
“I guess you’ve learned your lesson well today,” Margaret said. “You see, dear, it’s very difficult to fool someone. Body language will give away the truth almost every time, especially between a mother and a child. And body language is even more powerful between a man and a wife. That’s how I know your father still loves me as much as ever, even after all these years. I’m so tuned into Murdock, and he into me, that it’s impossible for us to keep the really important things hidden from each other, no matter how hard we try.”
“But what about the times Papa hid the fact that he was making Christmas gifts for us?”
“Well, that’s different, dear, because he wasn’t trying to hide anything bad from us,” Margaret answered, happy that Leona was thinking very carefully about what she was being told. “Your father was hiding those gifts out of love. He only wanted to surprise us, to make us happy. It’s much easier to mask your body language when you’re doing something good than it is when you’re doing something hurtful.”
“Why is that?”
“I guess because there is no stress involved when you’re doing something good. You are more content with yourself and you really have nothing to hide. But when you do have something bad to hide, stress takes over and causes your body, or the tone of your voice, to give you away. And sometimes it does it in very subtle ways that only a person close to you would perceive. Sometimes it is not so subtle; it just depends upon how bad the lie is, I guess.”
“So, will I be able to tell when someone really loves me?” Leona questioned.
“Yes, dear. But it’s not easy at first, because infatuation can seem like love. But infatuation will only make you feel good, whereas love will make you feel great. I guarantee that when you really are in love you’ll be able to tell. And you’ll be able to tell if the guy loves you too. But be careful, Leona. Some men will say they love you, when all they want is for you to love them. Do you understand what I mean?”
“Yes, Mama. I’ve met plenty of boys like that,” Leona confessed. “And, until now, I didn’t understand how I knew what their intentions were, but now I do. It was their body language.”
“That’s right, sweetheart. It even works when you’re not aware of it. I told you that it was powerful, and thank God it is.”
Leona was about to ask her mother another question when Margaret winced in pain.
“Are you okay, Mama?” she asked.
“Oh, I’m okay, dear,” Margaret struggled to say. “The pain comes and goes. I’ll be better in a few minutes. Could you get me a glass of water and fetch the pain medicine from my nightstand?”
After Leona did as her mother asked, Margaret turned to her and said: “Thank you for helping me, Leona. I know it’s hard on you, especially having to miss school and all. I’m not sure why fate has burdened you and me this way, but there has to be a reason.”
—3—
By Christmas time Margaret’s condition had worsened. Still, she put on a good face for her children so their Christmas wouldn’t be totally ruined. Just the same, when it came time for Margaret to bring out her angel, she didn’t have the strength to get it.
“Leona, would you get the Christmas angel for me?” Margaret asked while sitting in her rocking chair in front of the newly decorated tree.
“Sure, Mama.”
Leona removed the angel from the shelf in her mother’s bed
room, glass case and all.
“Here, Mama. You can take it out.”
“Thanks, dear.”
Margaret carefully removed the angel from its case and handed it to Murdock who placed it atop the tree. When Christmas Eve came he read The Night Before Christmas and Wally left cookies and milk on the table near the tree. Everyone except the 10-year-old realized that this could be Margaret’s last Christmas, so they tried to make it special for her, as best they could. But as hard as they tried, they couldn’t enjoy the Christmas of ’25 as much as they had past ones; knowing that their mother was in pain made that an impossible task.
Leona spent so much time with her mother that the 15-year-old was almost oblivious to what was happening to her. But, down deep, she long ago became resigned to her mother’s fate. Margaret’s health continued to worsen throughout the winter until she no longer tried to keep up the charade in front of Leona. Where early on her mother was good one day and bad the next, now she was only getting worse and worse, and having more pain each day. Leona watched her mother’s health quickly deteriorate to the point where she became almost skin-and-bones within a couple of weeks, and seeing her mother now suffering in pain nearly every day was almost too hard for Leona to bear.
—4—
On the 1st day of March 1926, Margaret was so sick and weak that Murdock and the kids stayed home and Dr. Gifford was summoned. After the doctor arrived, he examined her and gave them the bad news.
“It’s her time,” he said. “Maggie will be leaving you today, this evening at the latest. She knows. Just make her as comfortable as possible.”
Murdock could barely speak, but somehow he managed to.
“Arlene, you’d better run down to Aunt Mae’s and call Lillian. She should be here.”
By the time Lillian arrived, just before noon, Dr. Gifford had left in his buggy, with tears flowing from his eyes. Everyone gathered in Margaret’s bedroom trying to comfort her. Murdock noticed his wife straining to look out the window.
“Lillian, why don’t you and the other kids move the small bed from the guest room to the living room for your mother, so she can enjoy the new blanket of snow out the picture window.”
“Don’t you think she’d prefer to be in her own bed, Papa?” Lillian asked.
“No, I think she’d like it much better if she were in the living room. She’ll have a much better view in there. Besides, the guest bed was your grandma Eunice’s; and I remember your mother telling me that when she was little she slept in it more than she did her own bed. It meant an awful lot to her. That’s why she wanted it after your grandmother died.”
When Murdock finished speaking, Margaret turned her head toward him and smiled. With that, the children moved the guest bed to the living room and sat it in front of the large picture window overlooking the Haleys’ back field. The girls made the bed using Margaret’s favorite pillow and bedding, and Murdock carried her now feather-light body to the living room, placing her gently on the bed. Everyone gathered around and after a moment of prayer Murdock noticed that his wife still had trouble seeing out the window.
“Leona, would you go to your bedroom and get some of your books for me?” he asked.
“Sure, Papa,” she answered, “which ones do you want?”
“It doesn’t matter, dear. Just bring as many as you can carry.”
Leona ran to her bedroom and picked out all of her most favorite books. When she walked back into the living room she saw her father kneeling at the front of the bed.
“Papa! What’s wrong?” she cried.
“Nothing, dear. When I lift the bed, just put four or five books under these legs to elevate it a little so your mother can see out the window better.”
When that was done and he had finished puffing up her pillow, Murdock asked his wife:
“Is that better, darling?”
“Yes, that’s perfect, Murdy,” she said in a barely audible voice. “Isn’t it beautiful outside. The snow is so pretty on the trees. See how the Sun’s rays are making it sparkle.”
“Yes, it sure is beautiful all right. How is your pain now, sweetheart?”
“It seems to be gone,” Margaret said, wanting to ease everyone’s pain. “I feel a little weak, but I guess that’s to be expected. You’re all making me feel so comfortable I no longer fear what is about to come. I have my wonderful family around me, and God has given me such a lovely day to enjoy with you and to make my final journey easier. Look at that beautiful blue sky and those fluffy white clouds. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
When Leona heard the apparent calmness in her mother’s voice she felt more at ease, especially when she heard her next words.
“Thank you for letting me use your books, Leona. It makes it a lot easier for me to see outside with my bed propped up like this.”
Hearing her mother sent a chill through Leona, a chill of satisfaction. A smile crept onto her face as she fondly remembered the times her mother once read to her from many of those same books. It pleased the somber teenager to know that now her sickly mother was receiving pleasure from her most cherished possessions: the books that at that moment meant much more to Leona than at anytime in the past, and they had meant an awful lot to her before. With Margaret now comfortable, everyone pulled their chairs closer to her bed and began telling funny stories to her, keeping a constant smile on Margaret’s face. Occasionally, when the story was particularly funny, her weak voice was even able to muster a tiny chuckle. After all the stories were told, Murdock asked Leona to sing Beautiful Dreamer to her mother, and she did the best she could under the circumstances. As she sang, tears welled in her father’s eyes. When she finished, Margaret spoke, albeit very softly.
“That was so beautiful, dear.”
In late afternoon, with the end near, Margaret was barely able to talk, so she motioned for her family to come over, one by one, and whispered something to each one. After his turn, Murdock’s eyes filled with tears as he held onto her hand and said:
“I love you too, sweetheart. I always will.”
Still holding his wife’s hand, he turned to Leona.
“Your mother wants to say something to you now, Leona.”
Everyone else had already spoken with Margaret and Leona felt blessed to be the last one to hear her words. She walked to the left side of the bed and bent over her mother.
Margaret whispered: “Thank you, dear, for taking care of me so well. I knew when you were born that you were going to be special. And you proved that to me over and over when you were growing up; especially in these last few months. I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter than you. I love you, Leona, and I always will. Don’t you ever forget that.”
Tears came to Leona’s eyes.
“Promise me something, Leona.”
“Anything, Mama.”
“Take good care of my flowers for me. Make sure that when the garden sprouts this spring it is as beautiful as it’s ever been. And when you look at it, think of me.”
“I will, Mama. I’ll always think of you.”
Now Leona’s face was covered with tears and she could no longer hide the emotion in her voice.
“And one more thing, dear. Take good care of Wally and your father.”
“I will, Mama. You can count on me.”
As Margaret finished speaking to her daughter, the Sun was setting and the most beautiful sky Leona had ever seen was visible. The closer it got to sunset the more beautiful the sky became, exhibiting a mixture of red, orange, purple and blue colors that looked like a surreal painting.
“Look at the beautiful sunset,” Leona said to her mother. Margaret turned her head to the right, looking past Leona. She turned back to look at her daughter, took her hand, and smiled. In a loud voice so everyone could hear, she said:
“I love you all, more than anything on Earth.”
T
hen she slowly closed her eyes.
Leona and Murdock were still holding Margaret’s hands and they felt her grip tighten to give them a farewell squeeze. Then her hands went limp.
Fighting back tears, Murdock turned to the children and said:
“Kids, your mother is gone.”
Everyone was choking back tears when Murdock uttered the words that brought an end to the Haley family. Margaret had been such an integral part of the Haleys that each one knew that life could never be the same without her. She was the glue that held them together. It took a while before anyone could or wanted to speak. Little Wally was the first.
“Papa, you said that Mama is gone, but she’s right there on the bed. Why did you say that she’s gone?” the teary-eyed little boy asked, not really wanting to hear the truth.
Seeing that her father could not talk, Lillian took a deep breath and managed to answer her young brother.
“Mama has gone to Heaven, Wally; to be with the angels and Grandma Eunice. And now she’ll have no more pain.”
Wally walked to his mother’s side and laid his head on her chest. Then, with a tear running down his cheek, he raised his head, kissed his mother’s cheek, and said:
“Goodbye, Mama.”
—5—
When her mother died on March 1st, 1926, at the age of 47, Leona was so devastated that she also wanted to die, just to rid herself of the loneliness and the emptiness she now felt inside. But the innocent teenager realized that she had to be strong for her family’s sake. She now had to concentrate on caring for her father and 10-year-old Wally, because they were just as depressed and as lonely as she, and they needed her now more than ever. Besides, she promised her mother and she intended to keep that promise, even though she knew keeping it meant giving up any thoughts of returning to high school.
Journey With the Comet Page 51
