by Ines Johnson
The words wouldn’t leave her lips. And then she heard Yehfe say the healing prayer in her mind.
“I turn to you in my moment of weakness. I am your servant. Turn this weakness into strength, suffering into compassion, sorrow into joy, and pain into comfort for others.”
Yehfe’s hands left her heart and settled at her solar plexus.
“You are all that is goodness and hope and faith in the middle of this suffering. Your presence fills me with joy as I partake of your healing touch. Please restore my half to whole, dear friend.”
Then his hands came to rest over her most intimate area. Beulah gasped and opened her eyes. Yehfe’s eyes were trained on hers. His jaw was tight. His hands rested on the fabric of her underwear, but she felt as though they reached into her soul.
Heat pooled at her core. An ache bloomed. It throbbed with a need she had never known before.
“Remove all fear and doubt from our hearts by your power and renew our lives. I bless you, I praise you. Amen.”
The throbbing ache grew and grew until she could no longer contain it. Beulah’s instinct was to press her legs closed. But she didn’t. She held perfectly still.
Yehfe closed his eyes. He took a deep inhale, and then he let out a long, low chant. It rang like a gong through Beulah. Her body felt like a string on her violin resonating. She felt herself moving closer and closer to a crescendo.
And then her entire body vibrated. The reverberation started from somewhere deep inside. It must have been the seat of the soul because it felt like a tidal wave of energy rushed through her in wave after wave.
She felt as though she were being thrashed about. The assault felt good. It felt amazing. She wanted to cry out from the joy of it as her body clenched and released, and then clenched and released some more.
She was shaking, trembling, aching for more. Yehfe didn’t hold back. He gave her what she craved.
She couldn’t tell how long the sensation lasted, only that it held her captive in its resonating grasp. She never wanted to be let go.
“I think it is working.”
Yehfe’s voice sounded distant in her ears. His tone was frail as though he had trouble forming the words. Beulah opened her eyes halfway. Fully opening them seemed like too much of a chore with her body pulsating from the heat of Yehfe’s touch.
A ragged sound brought her attention to the bed. Pakua opened his mouth and took a deep breath. His fingers clenched as though he was trying to grab onto something. His eyes didn’t open, but his face relaxed, releasing some of the tension it had been holding since the attack.
Looking at the uncovered wound on his torso, Beulah saw that the angry marks on the gash looked paler than before.
“It worked?” she asked.
Yehfe brought his gaze back to her. His eyes roamed her body. She felt the heat return to each place his irises touched.
“Do you think we should do it again?” she asked.
Her sister would shudder at the wantonness in her voice, but Beulah didn’t care. She wanted Yehfe’s touch on her body, his voice in her head.
Yehfe opened his mouth. Swallowed. Then closed his mouth. He bowed his head and folded his hands behind his back. “It looks as though that took a lot out of you. You should rest.”
He stood on wobbly legs. He reached out his hand. Then he took it back and took a step away from her.
“Can you make it back to your room?” he asked.
Beulah sat up. She folded her legs under herself. Her limbs felt heavy. Her core still throbbed with heat. It took her a moment to stand.
Yehfe waited patiently, not offering her any assistance. Not looking directly at her. They stood there awkwardly, like two teenagers who’d just necked in the back seat of the car.
He corralled her to the door without touching her. The door opened. Beulah stepped across the threshold. She turned to face him. She caught his gaze for a fleeting second and then he looked just beyond her. The smile he plastered on his face was serene, and fake.
“I cannot thank you enough, Beulah. You are a true friend. Sleep well.”
The door closed between them. Suddenly, her limbs felt weary, as though she’d been running for so very long. But standing on the other side of the door, Beulah felt like she finally had arrived.
Chapter Fourteen
“The wound was healing,” said Yehfe. “Now progress has slowed.”
He stood in the control center with Chen and Hsing. On the ship’s monitor he spied the luminous tail of the comet they were using for cover to sneak back into the galaxy and return the human women to Earth.
It had been nearly two cycles since Beulah had left Pakua’s rooms. Nearly two cycles since Yehfe had felt her flesh under his fingertips. Since he’d felt her energy pulse through his body, his mind, and his spirit and pierce straight into both of his hearts.
Even now, he sensed her presence on the ship. Her presence pulsed bright like a beacon calling him home. Yehfe resisted the pull to go to her.
For the first full cycle, she’d lain in repose in her rooms. It was difficult to tear his attention away from her and focus on his brother. The energy that coursed through him from Beulah was heady. He had to keep reminding himself that she was not meant for him. She could not be his. But his body was not listening.
Yehfe had watched as Beulah’s energy weakened the corrosive energy at the edges of his brother’s wounds. But after the first cycle, the healing energy form Beulah waned and the marred energy pulsed with a new life.
Yehfe’s first thought was to return to Beulah, to seek her warm heat again. Perhaps this was the madness already forming; the thought that he might bond with a woman who belonged to another. It was insanity.
Beulah had come to him as a friend. She had offered him a small part of her spirit out of the kindness of her heart. She had not offered her entire being to be bound to a man who could never offer his whole person because the other half of him, his brother, would reject her. Still, Yehfe felt his very essence reaching out for hers.
“The young woman came to you then?”
Yehfe shook himself and focused on Hsing. “She did. But she can not come again. We agreed it would only be the one time.”
“If she came to you once,” Hsing said, “then she will come again.” The corners of his mouth hitched up like Shanti’s did whenever she told the tribe a joke.
If there was one, Yehfe did not get this joke.
“I know that Pakua has resistance to the idea of bonding,” said Chen. “But he will come around to Esther, especially when he realizes that he owes his life to her.”
Esther?
Hsing and Chen believed that Esther had come to Pakua’s aide. Yehfe hadn’t seen the young woman since the time she ran from him screaming of devils. If they believed that Esther had offered her energy then the joke was on them.
“I can already see the bond forming.” Hsing peered into Yehfe’s eyes.
Yehfe turned his attention to the ground. But even on the floors, he saw Beulah’s face when he’d shut the door on her. It was clear that she hadn’t wanted him to part from her. But it was immoral to covet another male’s mate. Even across the species.
He knew that the touch of an Eloheem could be something akin to an aphrodisiac. Beulah was likely under the heavy weight of her emotions. When she woke from her slumber, she would be back to her normal senses. Back to eagerly awaiting the reunion with her bondmate on Earth.
“Why do you frown? This is a joyous occasion,” said Chen. “Finally, you will have the family you always wanted.”
“She does not wish to stay.” Yehfe was unsure why he didn’t correct the two brothers as to which sister he meant. But he did voice the truth that mattered. “She wishes to return to her homeworld, to her family there.”
“When Shanti came on board,” said Hsing, “she claimed the same desire. But she had no family, no ties back to that world. Neither does your intended, other than her sister.”
“We will return Beulah to her mate,” sai
d Chen. “But Hsing does have a point; a few more visits and you could change Esther’s mind to stay with you. We do not practice the old ways anymore. Coercion is far more effective.”
Chen was referring to the old ways when the Eloheem would abduct females from their homeworlds. Yehfe’s mother had been abducted by his father’s, but like all women, she had come to adore her bondmates when she realized the truth. Eloheem were beings of service. That service was to dote on their female bondmates and their children more than anything or anyone else.
Yehfe couldn’t deny that his brother needed more of a woman’s healing touch if he was going to survive. Yehfe felt like he’d just cracked the door open with that first touch of Beulah. He knew there was a wellspring at the core of her.
Perhaps if he could get one more strong hit? Then he would not have to touch her again. Because he wanted to touch her again. More than was proper. More than as a friend.
“Here,” said Hsing. “This will help.”
Hsing handed Yehfe a black tablet. Yehfe knew the device belonged to Shanti. On it were the writings and depictions of a manual that Hsing and Chen’s fathers had created. The sutra came from the knowledge and advice of Eloheem before them about how to please the females that they would take from planets.
Yehfe thumbed through the device to see depictions of women and ways to touch them for maximum effort to bring about kama, or pleasure. He allowed his mind to imagine Beulah in these contortions of ecstasy. She’d seemed surprised by his touch and the pleasure that came from it. Had her mate never brought her to bliss?
Yehfe shook himself. He couldn’t have thoughts like this about her. She was leaving soon, going back to her rightful mate. But hopefully before she did, she would grant him access to her body one last time. And with the help of the sutra, this time he would give her even more pleasure.
Enough pleasure to cure his brother, of course.
Chapter Fifteen
Beulah floated on a stream of musical notes. The vibration of the strings resonated in a rainbow of colors. The colors danced around her, rising to a high pitch. In her mind’s eye, Yehfe knelt before her. His eyes were closed, his head bowed in prayer, his face relaxed. She hesitated to breathe lest she disturb him.
She wanted to preserve this moment forever. To sketch it into her mind and never let it go. She would never forget this man who had brought her such pleasure with his tender touch.
In the dream, she told herself to look away. It would be awkward to face him after what he’d done to her. She’d moaned out loud while his hands were on her body. She’d quivered and shook.
It had been frightening at first. She imagined it was what a heart attack must feel like. Only it was her most intimate parts that had raced faster than was natural, and then shattered her from the inside out in a million tiny little pieces.
God, she wanted to die again.
A knock at the door brought her awake. Then a shove from Esther had her sitting up bolt straight. It was the thought of who was on the other side of the door that had Beulah’s feet hitting the floor.
Yehfe. It was Yehfe. He’d come back for her.
But as she approached the door, her heartbeat slowed. It wasn’t him. She didn’t know how she knew. But she did.
Beulah willed the door open and smiled as brightly as she could for Shanti. Shanti beamed back at her. She brought Beulah into her arms.
“How did you do it?” Shanti asked.
“Do what?”
“Pakua, he’s improving. He’s going to make it.”
Beulah’s cheeks warmed at the news that Pakua would live. They also colored red that Shanti knew what had passed between her and Yehfe. Shanti stepped across the threshold and willed the door shut behind her.
“He just needs a little more healing,” Shanti continued.
Beulah’s ears perked up at that. She looked over Shanti’s shoulder down the empty hall. She knew Yehfe was near. She felt his presence, strong, and warm. She felt it calling to her.
“She’ll come again, won’t she?”
Beulah blinked, tearing her eyes from the long passageway to focus on Shanti. “Who? Eva?”
“No,” laughed Shanti. “Eva is with Nse, of course. Those two are inseparable. Which might prove problematic when you leave.”
Leave?
“We’ll be back to Earth very soon,” said Shanti. “Probably in two more cycles. That’s days in space speak. We’re all going to miss you.”
Shanti brought Beulah in for another hug. Beulah had known the woman for such a short time, but she felt like she was a kid going back home at the end of a life-altering summer camp. Only she would never come back to this camp ever again in her life. She would never see Shanti again. Or Yehfe. The thought of leaving hurt Beulah’s soul.
“Please thank your sister for me,” said Shanti. “For all of us.”
“You want me to thank Essie?”
Shanti nodded. “And listen, if Esther chooses to stay, I want you to know that I’ll be here for her.”
“Why would Esther stay?”
“Well…” Shanti’s brows furrowed. “Because of her and Yehfe.”
Beulah stepped out of Shanti’s loose embrace. “Esther? And Yehfe?”
“Yes.” Shanti’s arms fell to her sides. “She… and Yehfe…”
Shanti didn’t complete the sentence. It must have been the look on Beulah’s face that set her straight. “Oh,” she breathed long and low. “Esther didn’t… You did it.”
Beulah looked away. Shanti took hold of Beulah’s left hand. Her gaze settled on her bare fourth finger. The tan line had all but faded.
“Divorced?” Shanti asked.
Beulah gulped and then nodded. Relief flooded her that the truth was finally out. She’d hated lying. But she hadn’t had a choice.
“Eva has to get back,” Beulah said. “It’s part of the temporary custody agreement. She’s not mine. My husband -ex husband- had an affair. Eva is the product of that affair. Her mother didn’t want her. Josiah has physical custody of her, but he leaves her with me and rarely shows up for visitations. I filed paperwork to legally adopt her, but if I don’t get back soon and he realizes we’re gone, I’ll never get to keep her. I’ll be charged with kidnapping.”
Shanti sighed, and then her right eyebrow quirked. “On the bright side, the police will never find you out here.”
Beulah blinked, looking around the warm, beige walls of the Mothership. Even though this strange place felt like home, Beulah shook her head. “I can’t stay here. I can’t raise a child that isn’t my blood, a child that isn’t legally mine, on a spaceship.”
“Why not? You said so yourself that her biological parents aren’t for shit. And we all adore her. And if you and Yehfe…”
God, Beulah liked the sound of that; her and Yehfe.
But no. She couldn’t think like that. She couldn’t stay. She had to go back. But for the life of her, Beulah couldn’t name a single reason why. Until she heard something on the other side of the door.
“Esther,” she said. “We have to get Esther home. And then I can’t leave her on her own. I’m all she has.”
“If you’re all that Eva has,” Shanti ticked off one finger at a time, “and you’re all that Esther has, and we want you all to be apart of our family, then why not stay? Is there anything else that you have to go back for?”
Beulah couldn’t think of a single thing.
Shanti tucked the three fingers she’d held up as evidence into her palm and brought her balled fist down. She reached out and rubbed at Beulah’s shoulders. Then her head tilted, like a dog that heard a dog whistle.
“Listen, I have to go. Hsing is calling me.” Shanti pointed to her head, as though to indicate that her husband was calling her inside her head. Before she turned she rested her palms on Beulah's shoulders. “Choosing to stay on this ship was the best decision of my life. It got off to a shaky start, but now-”
Shanti stopped abruptly. Her eyes went unfocused as th
ough she were seeing a vision in her head. Her brown cheeks warmed. Her lips curled into a carnal smile.
“Okay, okay, I’m coming.” Shanti’s cheeks warmed even more. Then she focused back on Beulah. “Listen, if I don’t get a move on he’ll come down this hall and… well, you know.”
Beulah could only assume she meant Hsing. He was likely calling out to her in her head. Beulah had felt Yehfe in her head. She felt him now.
“I know this,” said Shanti, “Yehfe wants a family and he likes you a lot. Go talk to him. Tell him the truth and see where it takes you.”
Beulah watched Shanti take off down the hall, heeding her mate’s call. Beulah felt the same tug in the opposite direction. Although Yehfe didn’t call out any ultimatums to her, she still felt the undeniable urge to go to him.
What if Yehfe did want her? What if she could stay with him? Would Josiah really miss his ex-wife and the daughter he neglected on a regular basis? And if he wanted to go after Beulah, there was no way he could reach her. What did she have to go back for?
She turned down the hall to Pakua’s room and was there in no time flat. The door opened upon her command. But Yehfe was nowhere to be found inside. Disappointment swarmed her veins.
She looked to Pakua who lay on the bed. Sweat marred his brow. Beulah approached him and put her hand to his head. He was feverish. But when her hand settled on his head, he calmed.
“Do not touch him.”
Beulah yanked her hand back. She turned into the stern face of Yehfe.
Chapter Sixteen
“I am sorry,” Yehfe said. “I did not mean to startle you.”
“No, no.” Her voice stammered. “I came in without permission, I’m sorry.”
Yehfe hated the tremor in her voice. He hated that she looked away from him. He ached in his soul to watch her shoulders hunch in rejection.
“It’s just…” Beulah stopped and then started again. “It’s crazy, but I felt like you needed me. I felt like you wanted me here. That’s why I came.”
