“Mine,” I answer softly. By now, I’m living in the apartment Delsin rented to me. He and Avery picked up and assembled the bed for me, while Cami and I tried to add a feminine touch to the apartment. Among other things, that meant taking down the centerfolds with the half-naked women. “Drop me off, please. I need to be on my own for a little while,” I say, looking out of the window even though I can't discern anything in the driving rain. Then I close my eyes and lean my forehead against the cool glass.
“Don’t you think I should stay with you?” Avery asks softly.
“I need a little time,” I venture, speaking in the same low tone. “Ever since it happened, we’ve been together constantly, and now I just need … rest and … privacy.”
“Let me stay with you. I don’t want to leave you on your own today. I can sit quietly in the living room or stay in Delsin’s old bedroom.”
“Avery, please give me some time by myself. I simply need that today,” I argue tiredly.
He finally sighs. “Okay.”
For the rest of the drive neither of us says anything. It feels oppressive, but I don’t know what else I could have said or done.
When he stops in front of the house he looks at me. “Will you call me, please?”
“Tomorrow,” I reply with a weak smile.
He nods slowly. Then he leans down, kisses my cheek, and then brushes it with his thumb. “I’ll be waiting for your call.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow, baby.”
I get out and run toward the door because it’s still raining buckets.
But when I reach the door I’m thoroughly wet anyway. Without turning around, I unlock the door and disappear inside. The only thing I want to do right now is take a hot bath, relax, and lie down on the couch.
The stairs seem endless when I climb them, but that’s probably only due to my exhaustion.
When I’m finally inside the apartment, I take off the wet clothes and go into the bathroom. I run a bath and get into the tub in the hope of getting warm. Not only was it raining like crazy, it was also really cold, which is rare for this season. Maybe the heavens were crying with me or it was simply a bad day for a funeral. In any case, I’m glad to be soaking in the hot water now, tuning out.
“I hope Ave isn’t hurt I didn’t want him to be here,” I say aloud to myself.
There goes my relaxation.
I can’t think of anything but Avery. My head is probably going to explode any moment. There’s simply too much going around in there, and now I’m worrying about him as well. It’s not fair! Why the hell can’t I just tune out for a while?
I close my eyes and put a damp washcloth on my face, sighing. But it’s no use. No relaxation, no calm, not even unimportant thoughts about the weather. Frustrated, I start to sing the first song that pops into my head, but even Beyoncé can’t help me out of this funk.
***
After about an hour I finally step out of the tub, towel myself dry, put on some clothes, and shuffle into the living room. I lie on the couch, staring at the ceiling with the television Avery gave me on but muted.
It simply wasn’t my day. Grandpa’s funeral and the hateful stares of my relatives have left me feeling hollow and touchy, and now I’ve probably managed to alienate Avery, too. I really hope he isn’t upset with me.
As soon as I think of him again, my cell rings, and it’s him. “Hello?”
“Hey … I just wanted to see how you’re feeling,” he says.
“I feel okay, and you?”
“I miss you, but that’s really all.”
Heat infuses my cheeks. He misses me. I think it’s cute that he already misses me after such a short while. “I miss you too, but I think it’s good for us to spend a few hours on our own.”
“You really think so?” he asks.
“Not really. I’m just trying to be strong,” I say, surprising myself by giggling.
There’s a knock on the door, and I start.
“Okay. Then let’s be weak and give in. Will you open the door for me?” Avery says, his voice sounding amused.
I try to suppress my grin, get up, and walk over to open the door.
Avery is standing there, hanging up the phone. “I just couldn’t sit around at home without you,” he confesses sheepishly.
Smiling, I grab his hand and pull him inside. “I’m glad you came.” Then I kick the door closed behind him.
“Really? Earlier you didn’t look like you wanted to see me any more today, but I thought I could take the risk. You could always send me away again.”
Together we walk over to the couch and sit down, but only after Avery has taken off his wet coat and shoes. I snuggle against him and finally find the relaxation I was struggling to achieve on my own.
“What have you been doing?” he asks me.
“I took a bath and tried to tune out, but somehow I couldn’t find peace.”
His thumb makes little circles on my temple, which makes me sleepy. “Are you able to relax now?”
I give a slight nod. “Yes, thank you. Could you just keep talking? About anything? I’d like to hear your voice.”
He whistles. “I could tell you about Delsin’s and Cami’s crooked path to happiness, or as I call it: The Disaster of Coral Gables.”
“Okay. As long as I get to hear your voice.”
“You already know that Cami and Delsin are my best friends. I used to live here with him, but it took a long time for them to meet.”
“Yeah, I know, and why was that?”
“Cami only came by if she knew Delsin wasn’t home, because he slept with her best friends and then didn’t call them. She couldn’t stand him at all, but I knew she’d be exactly his type. He was collecting panties like trophies, and she didn’t want to be a trophy for anyone. Anyway, there was a competition at the skatepark, and I finally introduced Cami to Delsin, because I thought it was stupid for her to keep avoiding him. I didn’t think she’d let him get into her pants.” He chuckles and then takes a deep breath. “But they attracted each other like magnets and also repelled each other like magnets, until they got to know each other better, which is when the real trouble started. They’d just agreed to try to be together, when one of Delsin’s former conquests showed up and tried to destroy their budding relationship. Cami escaped by going home to Austin, and then Delsin followed her at her own mother’s invitation, and luckily they got it all together in the end.”
“And that was it?”
“Well, yeah, now they’re a happy couple,” Ave says.
“Sounds like a cheap soap opera,” I say with a smile. “What’s most surprising is that it took so long for them to get to know each other.”
“I thought so too, in retrospect,” Ave laughs.
“And now they’re still very much in love,” I say, still smiling. That’s what I wish for. To be and stay happily in love like Camille and Delsin.
“They are, and that’s much more pleasant than the arguments they kept having in the beginning. That was total bullshit. First they were fighting, then they were tearing each other’s clothes off, then they went back to fighting, and so on. It felt like we were all part of this roller coaster.”
“I can imagine,” I say thoughtfully. “That suddenly makes me glad I never really had a real circle of friends. It sounds rather confusing and complicated.”
“Why didn’t you ever have one?”
“Because I was poor,” I state dryly. “The wealthy students didn’t want to mix with the poor ones, and the other kids in my class also seemed to avoid me. I had no idea why, but by now I don’t care anymore.”
“Now you have me,” Avery says, stroking my cheek. “And my friends, who will all love you. You’re going to get to know them when the girls throw that birthday party for me.”
“As long as they’re not prejudiced, I think I’ll get along with them.”
“You get along well with Delsin and Sweet Thing So don’t worry about other people’s stupid tal
k. Delsin, Cami, Thally, and I all consider you a friend.”
“And what about Hailey?” I inquire, because I remember her giving me the impression that she couldn’t stand me at all.
“She’ll be okay. Right now she’s still a little miffed that I didn’t indulge her when she was seriously underfucked.” He smirks. “She also has a boyfriend now, but he lives in Austin.”
“That still sounds a little complicated, the vibes between all of you.”
“I think we’ve become a really close group. That was different when Delsin was still … playing the field.”
I nod again. “I guess I’ll have to get used to having a bunch of acquaintances now,” I giggle.
“A group of friends, Dale. We are your friends,” he says decisively.
“Couldn’t we settle on acquaintances? I barely know them, and they don’t know me either,” I say, grinning up at him.
“All right, acquaintances,” he says, rolling his eyes. I chuckle.
“By the way, what do you want for your birthday?” I finally ask, since he still hasn’t told me.
“I have only one big wish, but I won’t tell you about that because it is, as they say, priceless,” Avery answers.
I make a face. “Is it that expensive?”
“No, but invaluable.”
I don’t probe any further because he has me confused. What could he be talking about?
“Dale, you can’t fulfill my wish easy, just like that, because it’s not something you can buy in the store,” he suddenly says.
“Then what is it?” I want to know.
“You’re going to find out soon enough.” He smiles.
I snort. “I don’t think that’s funny.” With a pout, I lean my head against his chest again and close my eyes.
“Do you want me to tell you or would you rather keep pouting?” He smirks.
“Please tell me,” I say sheepishly.
The tips of his fingers are playing on my neck, wandering up and down and around as he starts to speak: “What I want is for you to develop deeper feelings for me. I know that it’s a crazy wish, but I’ve had it for a few days now, Dale.”
I sigh. “I feel butterflies rise in my stomach whenever I see you,” I confess.
Suddenly, he pulls me up and close to him. I tuck back a strand of hair which has fallen into his face, and then I let him kiss me. My hand rises to his cheek as I return the kiss, while his fingers travel across my torso. Then he pulls me onto his lap. Sitting sideways on top of him, I pull away from his lips. “And what was that?” I ask softly.
Avery shrugs his shoulders, grinning broadly. “It just came over me.”
I nod and can’t help smiling at him. “Is it in any way related to the butterflies?”
He kisses me again. Then he slides his hand underneath my shirt and traces little circles on my belly. I don’t intercept his hand, because I know he’s going to try it again anyway, and also I don’t want him to stop kissing and caressing me.
The kiss lasts and lasts, and it makes me wonder once again why he triggers this much desire in me. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and I can’t help but think of what I’m going to lose if he ever finds out the truth about me. I suddenly desperately want to talk to Camille and ask her what she thinks I ought to do. She knows Avery well, so I hope she can give me some advice. If not, I’ll have to think of something else.
Avery breaks the kiss. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just a little pensive, I guess.” I’m definitely blushing.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks curiously.
“It’s not that important.” I smile and breathe a kiss onto his lips. “What’s next? I’ve had enough of lying around, so how about going shopping? I’m in the mood for some new clothes.”
Avery raises an eyebrow. “Why do you suddenly want to go shopping?”
I blush. “I want to go out and have fun. I know it’s not really the perfect day for that, but I need distraction or else I’ll go crazy.”
Now he grins. “I’m in, but only if we also buy some new underwear for you.”
I grab the cushion and hit him with it, laughing. “You jerk!”
“No. I’m just a guy who’d like to see you in pretty underwear … Well, maybe I’m a little bit of a jerk, but at least I’m a sexy jerk.” He chuckles. Then he all but twists his neck around to look out the window behind us. “The only problem is that the world outside is ending right now.”
He has barely finished the sentence when there’s a huge thunderclap that makes me flinch and hold on to him closely.
“Wow … Are you afraid of thunderstorms?” he asks.
“Yes,” I admit, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.
“Then I guess we have to postpone the big shopping trip.”
I nod and deeply breathe in his scent. He smells like cologne, aftershave, and his very own smell, which I’ve grown so fond of. It’s a seductive and heady combination.
“So what do you suggest we do instead?” he asks.
“I don’t know.” Then there’s another thunderclap, and I squeal in fright.
Avery slides his hands underneath my ass and gets up. “I can think of something.” He grins and carries me into the bedroom.
“What are you up to?” I ask, still wide-eyed. I assume he wants to have sex, which doesn’t bother me at all, but I’m afraid the recurring thunder will keep me from letting go.
“Wait and see.” He drops me onto the bed, lying down beside me. Then he pulls me into an embrace and strokes me. “I just want to cuddle a little bit,” he murmurs.
“We already did that on the couch,” I say softly.
“I like it better here.”
With a sigh, I snuggle closer and can’t help smiling.
“Would you spend my birthday weekend with me? I mean, spend it at my place?” he asks in a whisper.
“Sure. I was going to ask you about that anyway, because I’m supposed to prepare the Jell-O shots and the strawberry punch.”
“Aha … So they did drag you into the party preparations.”
“Yeah. Is that bad?”
“Not at all. I’m glad they didn’t ignore you,” he answers cheerfully. “I’m happy that you get along with the girls.”
“Me too. Who knows, maybe I’ll be good friends with them, after all.”
Avery nods slowly while I wiggle up higher and plant a kiss on the side of his neck, which makes him flinch. He laughs softly. “You caught me off guard there.”
I giggle and snuggle close again. “I just want to lie here and enjoy your sweet company.” Then I close my eyes and savor his scent.
Chapter 10
Avery and I have become closer and closer the last few days. Even closer than we were before. The butterflies have grown into a kind of tornado that rushes through my belly. Long live chaos theory. I don’t know how Avery feels about his emotions, but I yearn to confess that I love him, or rather that I have fallen in love with him. I’ve known him only a few weeks, so it happened really fast, but he has conquered my heart. As for the rest of my life, I haven’t heard from my relatives since the funeral. Now they’re finally rid of me, and I of them, which is a shame in principle, but doesn’t bother me at all in practice. We never were close. I am the family bastard, after all.
Now it’s midmorning the day of Avery’s party, and I’m standing in Cami’s kitchen, preparing the Jell-O shots. I prepared the strawberry punch the evening before, after Delsin bought the alcohol I needed for it.
“Do you need any help?” Cami asks as I stir the Jell-O.
I smile at her. “No, thank you.”
“Okay. Then I’ll just line up the cups.” She smiles.
“Thank you again,” I say with a giggle, but then I become serious once more. “Can I ask you something about Ave?”
“Sure. As long as it’s not about his sexual preferences, I can answer almost any question,” she says, amused.
After taking a deep breat
h, I blurt out, “I still haven’t told him how my mother really died, and I don’t know how I can do that without him being angry with me because I lied to him.”
Cami sighs. “He will be angry, but that will pass once you tell him why you weren’t honest. I mean, it’s not as if you were the one who was a drug addict, Dale.”
“No, I’m not. But I was a crack baby,” I say softly.
“What?” she asks loudly.
I repeat it, feeling very small.
“Okay. You have to talk to him about it, seriously, Dahlia. He’ll understand why you haven’t told him before, but now it’s really time to tell him the whole truth.”
“I don’t know how to do that,” I confess. “I mean, he helped me so much, and I lied to him. I have a feeling he’ll be more than disappointed.”
“Avery’s not the kind of person to bear a grudge,” Cami says. “He’s going to need a little time, but he won’t kick you out of the house.”
“Do you really think so?” I ask, barely audible.
“Yes.”
“But how do you know?”
“Because I know Avery really well, better than you might think,” she answers with a smile.
“Then I ought to talk to him right now,” I decide, feeling wobbly in the knees.
“No, no, no … You’ll talk to him tomorrow, not today. Today we're having the party, and he’s supposed to have a good time.”
I nod very slowly. “Okay, then I'll do it tomorrow.”
I can’t imagine that Avery’s going to forgive me for lying to him. Maybe he won't want to talk to me anymore, or worse, he'll want to leave me. But I have to finally tell him the truth, otherwise my conscience will kill me.
“I should pour the Jell-O into the cups now,” I say. “Do you want me to make another batch of grape flavor?”
Cami looks at the row of plastic cups I’m filling with Jell-O. “Yeah, I think we could use some more.”
“Will you pour the rest of this batch into the cups while I start mixing the next?” I ask with a smile.
“Sure.” Cami comes closer and takes the pot from me carefully. She continues pouring while I fill a second pot with the water-vodka mixture and stir in the instant powder. I wait for the liquid to get hot, but it isn’t supposed to boil, otherwise the alcohol will evaporate.
Avery: Sensual Desire: New Adult College Romance (Coral Gables Series Book 2) Page 12
