Chapter 12
For three days, I don’t leave the apartment. I’m too afraid of running into Avery. I’m not strong at all. So far, I’ve been lying in bed or on the couch alternatively, bawling my eyes out. I’ve been ignoring my phone, and I haven’t opened the door to a single knock or ring.
I only want to be alone to wallow in self-pity. I normally don't behave like that, but ever since Avery sent me away, I feel like a wreck. The only other time I’ve cried this much is when Grandpa died.
Why didn’t Avery let me explain?
Yes, I understand that he was disappointed and hurt, but he should have given me an opportunity to explain. I’ve tried to, but he won’t answer my calls. I’ve lost count of the times I dialed his number or the text messages I sent. He didn’t react to any of it. He probably doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. It even sounds logical, considering that I lied to him and he had to hear the truth from his ex-girlfriend. I can’t stand her. The first time I met her at Trudy’s house, she behaved like a stupid bitch, and now she’s managed to destroy my relationship, just when I was about to confess the depth of my feelings to Avery. I wanted to tell him that I believe I truly love him. He was the one who was there for me during the blackest time in my life. I will never forget that, and I will always remain thankful to him for that.
“Dahlia Walker, you're opening this door right now,” someone calls, banging on my front door at the same time.
I don’t want to open it, so I don’t move.
“Dahlia, please, open up!” I hear a woman call.
Is that Camille?
The knocks are persistent. I sluggishly get up from the couch and shuffle through the apartment to open the door. “What?” I demand hoarsely.
“Oh my God,” Cami gasps. It is her, and Delsin and Thierry.
Cami steps in, approaches me, and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Come on, let’s clean you up a little,” she says softly. Then she takes my hand and leads me into the bathroom.
“I want to sleep,” I say.
“How long has it been since you last showered?”
“I have no idea,” I answer frankly. I can’t remember being in the tub or taking a shower. The memories of the preceding days are a blur of tears and despondency.
She nods slowly. “Must have been a while, because you stink like a skunk.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, feeling ashamed.
“We’ll be straightening up the place,” Delsin calls from the other room.
“Thanks, babe,” Cami calls back, and then she closes the bathroom door behind us. She tells me to sit down on the lid of the toilet and runs the bathwater. “Have you eaten anything recently?” she asks, her voice warm and concerned.
“No idea,” I say again. My blurry memory doesn’t give me any hints.
She sighs and squats in front of me. Her eyes are warm. “You step into the tub and get a good soak now, and I’ll fix you something to eat, okay?”
I nod mechanically.
“Great.” She smiles, then stands, and leaves the room.
My gaze travels the room, but then I get up and undress. I sit down in the tub and turn off the water. I simply sit there, staring at the tiles in front of me.
Only after a while do I grab a loofah and start washing the sweat off my skin.
“What have I become?” I softly ask the empty room. My eyes fill with tears again, but I don’t want to cry, so I take a deep breath and submerge myself in the water.
Only my nose is still above water, so I can breathe. My eyes are closed, and I can’t hear anything but my heartbeat, which is slow and steady.
When I open my eyes again, I see Camille standing over me and looking at me with a worried expression. I flinch and sit up straight. “I still have to wash my hair,” I murmur.
“Do you want me to help?”
I nod and hand her the shampoo bottle. It feels good to not be alone, but I still dream of Avery being with me instead of his friends. They don’t know me that well, so why are they here? Could it be that he sent them to look after me? “How is he doing?” I ask softly.
Cami shampoos my hair. “So-so. How are you doing?”
“Bad. I should have been honest with him right from the start,” I answer despondently.
“Thierry gave him a good dressing down for being so mean to you,” she tells me.
“He shouldn’t have done that.”
“He likes you, and that’s why he gave Avery a verbal kick in the ass. It’s a shame that Avery is so pigheaded.”
I give another nod, because I don’t know what else to say to that. Even talking seems exhausting.
“I got you some sweatpants and a T-shirt from your closet,” she says.
“Thank you.”
Then I tilt my head back so she can rinse out my hair. I hope the three of them aren’t going to stay for too long, because I want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.
When my hair is clean, she leaves me alone again so I can get dry and get dressed. When I’ve done that, I walk into the living room and look around. They’ve straightened everything up.
“Are you hungry, Dale?” Delsin asks, coming in from the hallway.
I shake my head. “No, not really.”
“Have you eaten anything at all the last few days?”
“I don’t remember,” I answer honestly and shuffle over to the couch.
“Thierry and Camille left to get some groceries. They also want to cook for you, make sure you eat some healthy comfort food,” he says.
“Thank you.” I sit down and stare at my hands.
“I know I’m not your number-one choice to talk about all of this, but I will listen if you need someone to listen to you,” Delsin offers.
“But you’re his best friend,” I answer, feeling confused.
“I’m also your friend. Why shouldn’t you talk to me?”
“I just don’t want you to be stuck in the middle, Delsin,” I say.
“I don’t allow anyone to put me in the middle. Either Avery accepts that you and I are friends, too, or he doesn’t. I don’t care, even if he is my best friend. At the moment, you feel awful, so as a friend, I’m there for you now,” he explains with a shrug.
“That’s very nice of you, but I don’t know what to talk about. I hurt him and he hurt me in return. I guess we both have to become levelheaded again, but I can’t do that as long as it hurts so bad.”
“I can’t promise you that the hurt will vanish, but it will recede,” he assures me, sitting down next to me. “And maybe it won’t take long for Avery to come groveling at your door and apologize.” Then Delsin puts an arm around me and pulls me into a soothing embrace.
I put my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. How could those few words trigger another burst of tears and sobs in me? “I felt as if he gave me wings,” I sniffle. “I suddenly felt so strong and invincible with him, Delsin.”
“It was the same for me and Caramel. When she left me, I felt like a shadow of my former self. But after a while the hurt fades and softens.”
“You turned it around and got your happy ending, but Avery and I won’t get back together.”
“How can you be so sure? Avery has fallen in love with you, and I can’t believe he’s going to throw that away lightly. But even if he does, then at least you’ve found some new friends. Cami and Thally are really fond of you, and I like you, too. And you’ve won over Thierry easily, being the only one willing to dance with him.” Delsin adds a smile to his final words.
“Four for one sounds like a good deal if we don’t make it,” I murmur, sounding unconvinced.
“I’m sure you’re going to make it,” Delsin asserts. “Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but soon.”
My answer is another nod, because I really don’t know what else to say. Delsin’s embrace has steadied me a little, and it really is nice to have found new friends, even if I might have lost Avery.
***
> Cami and Thierry bought so much that it won’t all fit in my fridge. They have to cook a few dishes so nothing will spoil. I don’t eat a lot, because I just don’t feel like it, but the three of them finish off the rest of the food. We have a good conversation, even if I can’t really contribute anything to their stories of college life, but that doesn’t bother me. It’s exactly the kind of distraction I need more desperately than I knew.
“Caramel and I are going to head out now,” Delsin says, after we’ve done the dishes together.
“Okay,” I answer with a smile.
“It’s good to see that’s still there.” He grins.
“That what’s still there?” I ask, confused.
“Your smile,” Delsin says.
I put my fingertips to the corners of my mouth. “Oh. You’re right.”
“And we like your smile,” Thierry chimes in.
“Do you want us to take you home?” Cami asks him.
“Should I leave as well or can I stay a little longer, Dale?”
“It’s up to you,” I answer.
“Okay, then I’ll stay a little longer and take a taxi later,” he decides.
Cami and Delsin walk to the door. I follow them and hug them both before they leave. “Thanks for coming,” I whisper to Cami.
“Always,” she answers softly.
They finally leave, and I look after them until they’re out of sight, only then closing the door and returning to Thierry, who’s sitting in Grandpa’s armchair, studying me.
“You look better than when we arrived,” he says.
“Thanks.” I sit down on the couch again.
“I talked to him on the phone a bit ago.”
Would anyone care to take the red-hot knife out of my chest? Thank you! I think. But I say, “He won’t talk to me.”
“I know, but he asked how you are,” Thierry tells me.
“What did you tell him?” I want to know. I hope he didn’t tell Avery what a mess I am.
“The truth, so he knows how much he hurt you,” Thierry growls. “I can only apologize for my brother’s words, because it was really shitty to abuse you in front of all those guests.”
“That was the best way to get rid of his fucked-up girlfriend, his ball and chain,” I muse bitterly.
“You know you were no ball and chain. Avery is in love with you!”
“If that were the case, he wouldn’t have sent me away, nor would he have called me a crack whore,” I object. “He probably never felt anything for me at all.” Sure, try to tell yourself that. You know it’s not true. A change of subject would be helpful now.
“What would you say to going on a trip together? How about Santa Monica?” Thierry suggests. “I was thinking of going there for a few days to meet some friends, and I could take you along.”
Did he just read my thoughts? “That would be awesome! When were you planning on going?”
“In a few weeks. I’ll let you know as soon as I have the details,” he replies.
“How cool. I’ve always wanted to visit Santa Monica Pier, to see the real place,” I tell him. “I’ve seen it in movies and fell in love with the special atmosphere.”
“That sounds cute.” He chuckles, and it sounds exactly the same as Avery’s chuckle.
I smile at him. “I’m not cute. Cute is for ponies and little babies!”
He laughs at that. “If you’re not cute, what are you?”
“Just dandy,” I blurt, starting to laugh as well now. The nonsensical conversation does wonders for me, distracting me from my sadness. “That was a joke.” I gasp for breath.
When we’ve both stopped laughing, he tilts his head to the side. “I’m looking forward to the trip.”
“Me too. I’m sure it’s a great place.”
“But you have to be ready for a couple days of driving. I want to take the car because I’m a bit scared of flying,” he explains.
“No problem at all, and maybe I’ll have my driver’s license by then. Then we could even take turns driving, if that’s okay with you,” I offer. I’ve been meaning to take my driving test soon, because even though I took driving lessons in high school, I wasn’t able to take the exam after we ran out of money.
“Sure. Do you want to go online and look for the nearest driving test center?” Thierry asks cheerfully.
“I don’t have a computer,” I admit.
“Then I’ll go home and fetch mine, and come back in an hour. I can drive my own car back here.”
“Okay.”
Thierry gets up, and I walk him to the door. “See you in an hour. And woe betide you if you don’t let me in.” He smirks.
I take the extra key from the hook behind the door and hand it to him. “Take this one, then you can let yourself in.” I smile.
“Great. See you in a bit.” He kisses me on the cheek and is gone.
***
We look up several driving schools, and I write down their phone numbers, planning to call them in the morning to check the cost, because I’ll certainly need a few more lessons to get back into shape.
Thierry yawns after he has closed the laptop.
“Are you tired?” I ask.
“Yes, and I shouldn’t have finished the beer I brought,” he replies.
“Do you want to stay? My bed is large enough for two,” I offer.
His eyebrows shoot up. “You know that I could misconstrue that, don’t you?”
“I mean stay overnight to sleep here, not to have sex,” I answer with a smirk. “I’ll admit that I don’t really feel comfortable here on my own now, since it’s Avery’s old apartment, after all.”
“Then I’ll gladly stay, Dale.”
“Thank you.”
We smile at each other, and I’m glad I won’t be on my own for the night. I hope I’ll be able to sleep, because the last few nights, recurring nightmares kept waking me up. The scene at the beach party unfolded in front of my eyes again and again.
I look at the clock above the door, which was already there when I moved in. It’s past ten, and I ought to go to bed now. “Do you need a T-shirt or anything?”
Thierry laughs. “I don’t think one of your girly T-shirts will fit me.”
“I also own some larger T-shirts, and I think you could fit into one … but you’d have to try ’em on—your back is as broad as Avery’s.”
He nods. “It’s a Morrison thing. We love sports.”
“What kinds of sports do you play?” I ask, curious.
“I box, but not competitively.”
“And Avery?”
“Avery plays football. He’s on the college team. The Hurricanes or something,” Thierry replies. “He’s the quarterback, and a rather tough player.”
“Wow,” I blurt. “I took for granted that he did a lot of sports, but I don’t think he ever mentioned playing football.”
“I don’t think he talks about it a lot, but now you know the reason all the ladies are after him,” Terry explains. “As team captain and quarterback, and with his looks, it’s no wonder he’s the idol of all the bleach-blondes.”
“And you’re not a fan of team sports?” I ask. “Or why do you prefer boxing?”
“Because it’s fun. I played football in high school, too, but then I had an accident and wasn’t allowed to go on. So I switched to boxing, and I really like it.”
“I see, so it was more of an involuntary switch,” I say.
“No, not involuntary. I wanted it. I mean, I could have taken up rowing or whatever, but I wanted to do something really athletic and challenging,” he says.
I don’t know much about sports, so the conversation tapers off, and I suggest, “Shall we go to sleep?”
“Sure. I’m in danger of falling asleep in this armchair.” He smirks and gets up.
We go to the bedroom, and I take one of the large T-shirts out of the closet. I sleep in clothes like that. I hand it to Thierry, who tries it on. “If they’re all the same size, I’ll have to sleep in one of these
belly tops,” he comments dryly.
I turn around and look at him, laughing out loud. He looks ridiculous. His jeans ride on his hips, there’s a wide strip of tan skin showing. The T-shirt only covers his chest, not even his belly button. “Maybe you should sleep in your shorts, after all,” I guffaw.
He makes a face. “Did you just call me fat?” he pretends to flare in anger.
I shake my head. “No, your T-shirt is just a few sizes too small.” I laugh so hard my own belly hurts, and the tears start to flow. He really looks too goofy.
“If I ever sleep here again, remind me to bring my own clothes.” He smirks and pulls the tight T-shirt over his head.
“Yes, do that. I think it might be nice if you stayed overnight from time to time, you know … when I feel alone.”
“If you're lonely, you call me, and I will come.” He smiles.
“Thanks, Thierry.”
He hands me the T-shirt, leans down, and kisses my forehead. “You are very welcome, Dale.”
Chapter 13
Three months later …
A completely new era of my life has commenced. College has started. I’m looking forward to meeting many new people, and I’ve found another job that earns me enough money to get by, so I can use Grandpa’s money solely for tuition and other college-related stuff. I’d never take the job that Trudy offered me, because I was too afraid to meet Avery. I haven’t heard anything from Avery. I visited him once, my only attempt to speak with him, but he sent me away immediately. According to Cami, he was still too hurt to talk to me, but he could have at least let me explain. The only thing I expected of him was a few minutes of simply listening to me. I could have told him why I had kept the truth from him.
But it didn’t happen.
I have my first teaching lecture today. They made an exception, allowing me to start in the middle of a term. It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t mentioned in my application that I was caring for my grandfather. It was a little white lie, and I was lucky the dean understood my situation and showed sympathy. I had to make up for the lectures I’d missed since the beginning of the semester, and the professor gave me all the material in advance to enable me to do that. Of course, I’ve walked around campus a few times already, but I’m still lost looking for the lecture hall. I run around, clutching the piece of paper with the room number, but I can’t find this particular room anywhere.
Avery: Sensual Desire: New Adult College Romance (Coral Gables Series Book 2) Page 15
