by Romi Hart
And I knew for a fact that I had very capable hands.
I smiled to myself as I leaned back, setting an alarm on my phone so I wouldn’t sleep too late. I could rectify this, with just a little extra effort. But first, I needed to get a little more sleep so I was fresh and on top of my game. In a couple of hours, everything would be right with the world.
The time past in the blink of an eye, with my alarm waking me violently. I had fallen asleep on the couch again, and I grumbled as I jumped to my feet, wondering why I even bothered having a bed. The couch felt more like the cot I’d slept on for eight years, and I rested easier on it. Maybe I’d sell the bed and buy another couch like this one so I could sleep in the bedroom like a normal person. I hated the institutionalized part of me, the part that needed a regimen and found any creature comfort foreign. I’d even had a hard time taking the cell phone Sam gave me, having spent very little time talking on a phone for so long.
But I had to get over it, and I forced myself to take a long, hot shower, washing slowly and thoroughly. No more three minute showers, and no more threadbare towels. I would also add some color to my wardrobe, rather than wearing all black. I’d spent enough time in uniform, between the military and jail.
I chose the only t-shirt I had that wasn’t black – a gray one – and a pair of whitewashed jeans, and I grabbed my keys and left, with dishes still in the sink. I was going to force myself to learn how to live in society if it killed me.
I sat on my bike for a few minutes, trying to decide where I was going. I needed privacy to call Mina. I didn’t want my brothers knowing what was going on with her. But I also didn’t feel like riding solo all day. So, I compromised. I headed to a diner down the street from Rick’s shop so I could grab a bite to eat and make the call. Then, I’d see if there was anything I could do to help, any projects I could work on. It was a solid enough plan, and just having a destination and an order of business made me feel better.
It took longer than usual to get down to the lower part of the Bronx, the traffic backed up near 161st because of a midday Yankee game, and by the time I arrived, I was ravenous. I ordered two burgers and a milkshake, and I ate slowly, sitting straight rather than hovering over and around my plate. It was poor posture anyway, and it was a habit you got into when you learned how easy it was for someone to swipe what food you had in prison. I didn’t have to protect the food anymore. No one was going to walk by and take my plate, except Stella, the waitress. And she would ask if I was finished or wait until my plate was clean before she did.
I was nervous when I finally got around to dialing Mina’s number, and I wasn’t surprised when I got her voicemail. I sighed, debating whether I should leave a message. In the end, I hung up, waited five minutes, and tried again. It rang five times, and I was going to hang up when the line clicked and a breathless voice said, “Hello?”
Mina
I’d spent more time at the gym than I intended, and I was shuffling my purse and the gym bag full of sweaty clothes when my phone rang. I didn’t even get a chance to look at the caller ID as I finally managed to get it out of my purse, hurrying toward my car. “Hello?” I hoped I hadn’t missed the call. I hated missing calls.
There was silence for the space of three heartbeats. “Hi, Mina.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. I might not have heard that voice very many times, but I knew it instantly. “Jasper.”
“You sound surprised. Is it good surprised, or bad surprised?” He sounded a bit contrite.
I didn’t know how to answer that. My mind went straight to how used I’d felt and how hard I’d just worked to put it all behind me. At the same time, my body remembered his kiss, his touch, and it responded immediately. “I don’t know.”
Was that laughter I heard? It was muffled and I couldn’t tell. “Well, let me start by apologizing. I acted like a complete heathen, and I’m very sorry for that.”
That was the last thing I’d expected to come out of his mouth. And the overwhelming sadness I experienced at the idea he might regret kissing me was even more shocking. I said nothing, leaning against the wall for support. I felt weak.
“I don’t want you to think I want anything from you, other than your company. And maybe your body.” The growl in his voice tingled along my spine. “Listen, if you’ll give me another chance and have dinner with me, I’ll keep my hands to myself, okay? I just want you to see who I really am. I can’t stand the idea of you thinking I’m just trying to get to your money because that’s not it at all. And if I haven’t restored your faith in me by the time we finish dinner, we’ll go our separate ways. I’ll never bother you again.”
This was my opening. I could get back in there, get under his skin, and be right there to witness whatever crime he committed next. But there were risks, and I didn’t know if I was willing to take them. Aside from risking him actually coming after the money, I was concerned for myself. I’d never used anyone before, and I didn’t need a guilt complex. Besides, I kept reminding myself that Jasper Cunningham killed my father and deserved whatever pain came his way.
But most concerning of all was that I feared I’d already made a desperate mistake. I actually liked the guy. And that could turn into something really bad. Was I so lonely I had grown attached to a criminal who had targeted my family and stolen my father from me when I was a confused teenager? That had to be some sort of sickness. And I wasn’t going to let it affect me.
I could do this. I could turn the tables on Jasper, seduce him the way he’d tried to seduce me. And in the process, I might have a little fun. I was an adult and a strong woman. I could moderate my reactions, disconnect sex from emotion. I had a purpose, and I was going to follow through and see Jasper put back behind bars.
“Are you still there?”
Oh, god, I hadn’t realized how long I’d been standing here in silence. I winced. Just how many minutes had ticked by while I thought things through? “I’m sorry, I was thinking.” At least that made sense in the context of his request. “I suppose we can have dinner. Everyone deserves a second chance.” Everyone, I thought, except a man who had proven he had no conscience.
“Thank you.” He sounded relieved, and I was suspicious again. “I doubt you want me anywhere near your house until you can find it in your heart to trust me, so meet me in front of the Pennsylvania Hotel at six tomorrow. The entrance across from Madison Square Garden.”
“Sure,” I agreed and hung up before he could say anything else. He was giving me an option to back out by not coming to pick me up. And he was right – I didn’t want him anywhere near my house. Even if I greeted him at the door or stood waiting by the gate, I’d still feel like he was casing the joint all over again.
Now I was a nervous wreck again. I’d just spent three and a half hours fighting with my trainer to keep going, burning off every calorie I’d consumed since the turn of the millennium, to get that man out of my head, just to have him front and center once again. I should have been thrilled that I had him begging me to spend time with him. What better vantage point to watch him take the fall, to hurry it along?
Instead, I was a bundle of nerves. That kiss had become a physical memory, one I could feel rather than remember, as if it was happening all over again, and I could do nothing to stop the onslaught of fantasies as I drove home. The way his mouth had owned mine, I could only imagine what he would do to more intimate parts of my body. The space between my thighs warmed, and I cleared my throat, trying to regulate my breathing. How long had it been since I’d had sex anyway?
I didn’t want to answer that. I was fairly picky about going to bed with anyone, and it had definitely been a while. I needed a distraction, a different one. The workout wouldn’t have lasted anyway. As soon as the euphoria of it wore off, I’d have been right back at square one anyway. I decided to call Becky, have her put together a little gal-pal fun for the evening. I’d have my closest friends over, and we’d chat through the night while binging on everything we could find that w
as unhealthy. I’d earned it with my workout.
But Becky didn’t answer. Neither did Chastity or Meghan. And I couldn’t really blame them. I’d been avoiding their calls for three days. This was my punishment. They’d probably call me tomorrow, ask what was going on, and we’d all be just fine as always. But that didn’t help me tonight, and I realized I was in for a long, lonely evening of bad television and boredom.
At least one thing was certain. Tomorrow evening, assuming I didn’t chicken out, would be anything but boring. Whether I was terrified, intrigued, or even sexually satisfied, I was bound to be thoroughly entertained. I could definitely handle that, if I could just make it that long without overthinking and driving myself crazy.
Chapter 5
Jasper
Maybe it was childish, but I hadn’t wanted to be standing there, waiting, when or if Mina arrived. I didn’t want to look overly eager or anything. I just wanted to seem smooth, confident, harmless. After all, this had become about more than just discovering her motives. Now, I wanted a piece of her, and I wanted her to beg me to take it.
So, I stood across the street in front of the Madison Square Garden, surrounded by onlookers and street vendors, where she couldn’t possibly see me, no matter how hard she looked. I had a perfect vantage point for the entrance of the hotel, and promptly at a minute past six, she strolled up close to the bellhop working the door.
I smiled as I flicked my cigarette to the curb. She’d dressed up for the occasion, ditching her all-black vibe for a summery blue floral dress and modest beige heels. The sides of her hair were pulled back in a clip, and it flowed down her back, shining in the sun. She wasn’t tall by any stretch of the imagination, but her legs seemed to go on for miles, showing off what was probably a booth tan on smooth skin.
I wondered what she wore underneath the dress.
I crossed the street, hands in my pockets, and approached her. I was rewarded with the first genuine smile I’d seen on her lips, brilliant white braces-straight teeth and all. “You look amazing,” I told her in greeting.
She gave me the onceover. I’d pulled out my favorite black button down and my dark wash blue jeans, topping it off with my motorcycle boots, and I’d gelled my hair but left it a bit unkempt. Mina nodded her approval. “You clean up pretty nice yourself,” she said, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of triumph. I hadn’t worked this hard to impress anyone in a long time.
“Thanks. I’m glad you came. I thought you might not show up.”
Her smile faded, and she shrugged. “I keep my word, Jasper.”
“Fair enough. Come on, I’m hungry.” I took her to Stout, which had dozens of imported beers and authentic Irish cuisine, and we chatted amicably. She asked questions, and I tried to answer them. The whole point was to show her I had nothing to hide, so I bared everything I could. I told her about high school, about the military, about my friends, about prison. I asked her a few questions, too, and she seemed honest enough.
We even laughed and joked with each other. It was almost like a real date, and that made me a bit uncomfortable. Sure, I wanted Mina, but I wasn’t trying to start a real relationship. So, when things seemed to be getting a little too personal, I leaned forward and asked bluntly, “What are you wearing under that sexy little dress?” I’d been maddeningly curious all night, and I figured it would take her by surprise.
She narrowed her eyes and gave a catty grin, which almost knocked me off balance. “You really wanna know?” she asked.
“I do.” My groin tightened, and I had trouble getting oxygen into my lungs. Was this conversation really happening without a fight?
She reached out and traced her fingers over the back of my hand. For some reason, just that one intimate gesture lit a fire in my gut the size of a forest fire, and my mouth went dry. “Then take me back to your place, and I’ll show you.”
I had this horrible feeling she was setting me up, but I was too raw with need in that moment to care. I motioned to the waitress and dropped a large enough bill to cover the food and drink with a decent tip, which seemed to surprise Mina. I knew what she thought. It’s what everyone thought. I was fresh out of prison, so I must be broke. But I had the sale of the house, in an interest-bearing account, I had my bouncer job, and I had two other sources of income I hadn’t even tapped yet that no one else knew about.
I was far from broke.
Admittedly, it was a calculated move on my part. I wanted to have one big, perfectly timed method of convincing her I didn’t need or want her money, and I think I succeeded. She was out of her seat and let me take her elbow as we left the place and headed for the train. I hadn’t brought my bike, figuring I wouldn’t convince her to ride it, and after a few drinks, I shouldn’t be driving anyway. I just hoped her precious Mercedes was safe somewhere and she wasn’t above public transportation.
I could have sprung for a cab, but I didn’t think I could have kept my hands to myself in the privacy of a backseat. I needed the public around me to control my actions. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to have a problem with it and actually had a smile on her face, a far off look in her eyes. “You know, when I was little, my father used to take me to Coney Island. We’d ride the train there and back. It was the only time we ever really took the train, but he said it was part of the adventure.”
I hadn’t known until I got out that her father died. I suppose I probably had something to do with that, since I’d added stress to his life, but Stephen Cohen was known for heart problems. He’d had two minor heart attacks already. I couldn’t be solely responsible.
Now, though, it almost broke my heart to hear the longing in her voice when she talked about her father. I knew she had to miss him. Losing someone you love…that was almost too much to bear. I knew that all too well. But I didn’t want the mood ruined. I had high hopes for the night, despite having no right for expectations.
I leaned in, with my lips brushing her ear, and muttered, “I’m not your daddy, but I promise you plenty of adventure.”
Her sharp intake of breath was deeply satisfying, and I could sense her heightened awareness of me being so close. I was getting to her, and that was perfect – almost too much to handle. I needed the train to get us back to my place faster.
Mina
I was a bundle of nerves as we entered Jasper’s apartment, but not because I was scared. Surprisingly, the alcohol I’d consumed had washed away any hesitation I had, and now, I was anxious and filled with anticipation. Apparently, I really needed this, and at this point, I had to admit to myself that not just anyone would fulfill that need. It had to be Jasper.
When he closed the door and turned to face me, I knew he intended to offer me a drink, but I wasn’t in the mood for delay. As a rule, I didn’t wear lingerie unless I intended for someone to see it because it was uncomfortable. Tonight, he’d read my mind, asking what was underneath the dress and driven my basic urges into overdrive. I’d put on one of my most expensive bra-panty combinations, and I’d literally been itching to get out of them for hours. Now, that sense of urgency was too much to bear.
He opened his mouth, and I took a step – almost a leap – toward him, pressing my body against him and claiming his lips. I twined my tongue with his, delighting in the slight satisfaction I got from the taste I remembered, the sheer sensation of his maleness surrounding me as his hands found my ass and pushed my hips forward. He was rock hard, and if I was any judge of size, there would be absolutely nothing disappointing about this man.
Even if he deserved to burn in hell.
I moaned, my stomach twisting and my silk panties probably ruined as I started to drip. I couldn’t remember getting this aroused from a kiss in all my life, and it had me lightheaded. Jasper’s kiss was more intoxicating than the liquor I’d had so far.
He tore his lips from mine and trailed them across my cheek, down the side of my neck. I moaned, my head falling back and to the side as I eagerly gave him room to work. With his cock pressed against my stomach an
d his hands cupping my ass, his mouth was the perfect addition, and I could have melted into the floor. In fact, I felt like I was going to come any second, and he hadn’t even made a real move on me yet.
His lips stopped against the cuff of my ear, and he growled in a low, breathless tone, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Mina.”
He was giving me an out clause, and I could have taken it. I could have taken the coward’s road and said I wasn’t ready. It was too soon, and I didn’t know him, didn’t trust him. I could have even told him the truth, admitted to my little game, and backed away, deciding I didn’t want to hurt him. But none of those options were tolerable as my body buzzed to life in a way I couldn’t remember feeling since before my father died.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Jasper’s penance wouldn’t be a life in prison, wasting away. Maybe it would be bringing me back from the edge and showing me what joy really was again. Physically, at least.
“Wasn’t I the one who offered for you to see what’s under the dress?” I rasped, my voice throaty and deep.
“Yes, but—”
“Then what are you waiting for?” I challenged, cutting him off before he could give a solid protest. I didn’t want him to point out a good reason why I should wait. I wanted to feel his hands on me, wanted to see his expression when he took in what the teenager he’d seen for a few minutes so long ago looked like in full maturity and clad in little more than a few strings of silk. And I wanted him buried inside me, barely able to control himself.
He responded immediately, his hands fisting in my dress and gathering until the hem was balled in his fists. He dragged the material over my head, and I was all too ready to step away from his body heat long enough to let him take a good look as he tossed the dress away. I watched his face, not caring where my clothes landed, and the way his pupils dilated, practically swallowing the crystal blue around them, told me what I needed to know. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, his gaze roaming up and down over my chest and stomach and then lower, to the juncture between my thighs, which was already soaked.
