Jesse walks. Jesse runs. And Jesse flies in my dreams, a fire blazing behind him. Back to me, swoops me up, and we sail away together. Through the clouds of yesterday. Today. And tomorrow. I count the clouds as they roll by the shelter windows, wondering when I will see my little brother’s face again. Clear blue skies make waiting especially hard.
I hear the voices of the other women around me fade as I walk through the motions on this first night at the shelter. When the last light dims, I lay down to sleep, and my mind takes flight to visit Lagan, returning to that time that happened and didn’t happen. All that was and could have been and might never be. Somewhere between my memories and my dreams.
I close my eyes as my mouth spills out details in an attempt to tie up another story. He gently slows my words with two fingertips running down my forehead, over the bridge of my nose, down to my soft, perfectly curled, lower lip. There he rests them. Until my lips come together. I like his fingers on my lips. He leans forward till our foreheads kiss and whispers, “To be continued,” and we part ways.
I open my eyes. Now offers me three door prizes for showing up. One I can’t let go of and the other two I keep tucked under my pillow: cold wrists, peppermint-flavored Trident, and Lagan’s last yellow Post-it note:
me + you = us three
He always did love math.
I once asked him, “Why Sticky Notes?”
“Because they’re compact, square, and...sticky.”
I think he hoped his words would stick with me. They do. I have a slideshow of every last one in my head, reminding me of those first days. When words were few, opportunity scarce, and we lived out our fairy tale under a waterfall willow.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Excuse me while I pull out my speech.
First of all, I’d like to thank God. Without God, I would have no dreams. And without those dreams, there’d be no stories.
To my parents, thank you Mom for teaching me that it is sweeter to give than to receive. I love you for laughing at my stories and generously supporting my dreams to be a writer. You’re my Super-Mom, and I’m so blessed to be your first princess.
And Dad, you’re my inspiration. You taught me the very art of story-telling with all your anecdotes you told me as I was growing up. Thank you for reading my stories and challenging me to never stop learning. Daddy’s girl, yes, I am.
To Amma, my second Mom and story-telling friend. I love that we became friends when I fell in love with your son. Thank you for your daily help and your love for reading and writing. You inspire me! And to Appa, my second dad, I know you always dreamed of writing a book. Your stories will always stay with me.
To my baby sis and best friend, Sandi, my sounding board on so many days—thank you for laughing with me and crying with me. I cannot imagine going through this life without you. Love you so much and thank God for every day of good health he continues to give you. Like my morning cup of coffee, yes, you are!
To my princesses—Hannah, Nitha, Lydia and Sarah—thank you for letting Mommy write, giving me so much material, and cheering me on. Mommy knows no other place I’d rather be than with you four in my arms. You’re my jewels, my treasures, my most precious gifts from God. Don’t ever forget: You is smart. You is kind. You is important.
To Roopa, my BFE and first official reader. Where do I begin? Even if you didn’t like chocolate or laugh loud or love to read, I’d still love you. Because you tell me the truth. And you love me. And I don’t know that many people discover this kind of friendship in their lifetime. Just so thankful I found you. And we got through the awkward, high school, she’s so different from me, roadblock. You are the green in my life! :)
To my Literary Agent, Chip MacGregor: Chip, thanks for that first email, when I freaked out after sending you a message with a typo, and your response was, “Reelly? I didn’t notic. :o)” Seriously, thanks for taking a chance on me. For looking past that fumbling introduction and believing in my writing. For reminding me to be patient and making time to answer my one hundred and one questions about all things writing.
To the late Miss Trosko, my high school English teacher, for giving me an F in English but telling me I had potential. And for giving me the courage to pursue my passion.
To my late grandmother. For making me laugh and telling others, “Kamali kuri nae kamali kiana lickna.” Translated, “Of course a crazy girl like you would write crazy stories!” Biji, I miss you so much.
To Stancy, Roy, and Anna—for the countless hours of babysitting. Thank you for loving the girls and freeing up time for me to pump out the pages. You all are family. Love you so much!
To my family, Uncles, Aunts, Siblings, Cousins, Nieces and Nephews—all of you contribute to some of the best chapters of my life.
To Pat Matuzek, my first editor. For all the work you put into making this story cleaner and stronger. And Kyle Waalan, my second editor, for the finishing touches before I sent my first baby out into the world.
To my crit group, Renee, Liz, Emily, Selene and Lisa. You ladies Rock! You’ve helped me to develop thicker skin and made me a better writer. Thank you for challenging me to answer the hard questions and inspiring me with your stories too.
And to the Playlist Fiction crew: Jennifer Murgia, Laura Anderson Kurk, Laura Smith, Stephanie Morrill, Amanda Luedeke and Sandra Bishop. You took a chance on this newbie writer, and I am so grateful. And the Playlist Fiction Street Team! Thanks for investing in our team and enthusiastically introducing us to the world! Bonus for me—I discovered some pretty cool authors and made some new, fun reader friends.
Finally, to Peter and Liz at the GLY cafe. Thank you for taking care of me while I camp out and type away for hours. I’ll never forget the day I had my Goldilocks moment, finding the perfect table and chair to write at in your coffee house. And the quinoa brownies...yum to the yum!
This Thank You Note is also to You. Really, It is!
You know that moment when they call your name at the Oscars, and all you can think is, I hope I don’t trip on the red carpet as I strut up in my floor length evening gown. And I really hope I don’t forget to mention my mom. Because then she might move and leave no forwarding address. And that would be bad. Really bad.
Yeah, me neither. (Love you, Mom!)
Truth be told, I’ve been dreaming about this “thank you” list for years. Decades, really. I think I rewrote the list several hundred times before I wrote my first book. Because I am huge on saying, “Thank You!” Simply, because you don’t journey the madness of this life alone. You weren’t made to. We were meant to walk—together.
So, at the risk of sounding cheesy and We Are the World-ish, I sincerely want to thank anyone and everyone who made my little dream a big reality. If you’re holding this book because you heard from a friend of friend that its a must-read, or you just clicked the download button by accident, and it was too late to hit cancel, this book is dedicated to you too. Because, I’m not all about karma, but I do believe that things happen for a reason. And you’re here now, and I’m so glad you came.
So dive in. Hang out. Linger when a line makes you think. And share if you feel compelled. Happy swimming, all. Because as surely as the sun rises each and every day, we all have our clouds. But we can swim through them. Together.
Sincerely aware that great stories change lives,
Rajdeep
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rajdeep decided to be a writer during her junior year in high school after her English teacher gave her an “F” but told her she had potential. She studied English Literature at Northwestern University, and she writes masala-marinated, Young Adult Fiction, blogging weekly at InSearchOfWaterfalls.com.
When Paulus is not tapping on her Mac, you can find her dancing with her four princesses, kayaking with her hubs, coaching basketball or eating dark chocolate while sipping a frothy, sugar-free latte. She secretly hopes to one day own a laptop that functions under water! Oops. The secret’s out.
ABOUT PLAYLIST FICTION
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