"They do?"
"Of course, they didn't name you back then, so they refer to you as the baby. Considering you're, what, six-foot-three? That's a pretty big baby."
"He is a big baby," Liam taunted from the neighboring table, obviously unashamed to be listening.
Laughing, she reached for her cup again. "James is built like you, long and lean with blond hair and blue eyes. Mom is on the shorter side, but still taller than me. She has hazel eyes and brown hair."
"I always wondered who I looked like, if I looked like either of them." He stroked his hand over his close-cropped hair. Savanna had said she liked the way it felt against her palms. Two days had passed since their date. He wondered what she was doing, how she would react if she'd seen him so on edge. He'd told her that he didn't experience fear.
He'd lied.
Melanie pulled out her phone. "I can show you some pictures."
"Please." He scooted closer.
The screen lit with a smiling woman. She had kind eyes, polished hair, and her arms around two kids. Melanie pointed, "That's Mom with Chloe and Caden."
Stomach tight, Slade curled his fingers into his hand to stop from reaching out and grabbing the phone. He scoured the photo. This wasn't a stranger. This was his mother. And she was hugging the kids with more affection than he'd ever experienced with Liz. Twin blades of resentment and longing stabbed his gut.
The next picture showed a tall man wearing a tattered baseball cap. "That's James when he coached Caden's baseball team last summer."
Slade's heart jerked. James had his height and build, and similar facial features. He definitely looked like his dad. Comfort softened some of the resentment.
Dom leaned forward and snagged a coffee. "I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
"Tree?" Melanie glanced between them. "What do you mean?"
"Baseball."
She twisted toward Slade. "You play baseball too?"
"First baseman for the Riptide. Actually, we all play for them."
"Wait, like the real major league baseball Riptide?"
Slade nodded. "Yeah."
"Holy shi—I mean, I don't follow baseball, but James does. I know he's taken Chloe and Caden to Riptide games. I think Mom may have even gone with them once or twice. This is too weird. It's like they saw you without knowing who you really are."
Slade's skin tingled. His biological parents had been in the ballpark, watching him play, and he hadn't known. Shouldn't the universe have sent him some kind of sign? Jealousy throbbed that James would've been the type of dad that Slade had always wanted—someone to come to his ball games, to discuss statistics and averages, someone who just cared. Maybe the love of the game had been ingrained in his genes.
Melanie tucked her phone away and stood. "The shop's going to close soon, so we should go. Mom and James are really nervous about meeting you. They're leaving tomorrow for Haiti. James is spending a few weeks working in a clinic there, while Mom volunteers at an orphanage. When they get back, we'll do another get-together. Maybe you can come to our house."
His mind whirling, Slade stood and motioned for the guys to do the same. "Sure. Sounds good. I’ll see what works out with my game schedule."
"I'm so glad I got to meet you. Before I knew about you, I'd always dreamed that I had a big brother. And now I do." She blushed and then rushed on, "I mean, if you want to. I don't want to interrupt your life if you don't want that, but can I maybe text you sometimes?"
Warmth washed into his chest, easing the nerves trampling his stomach. "I'd like it if you did."
"Me too." She hugged him and then stepped back. "Thanks for coming to meet me."
"Hey, do you need a ride anywhere?" He wasn't going to leave her to walk home amid darkened streets.
"Nah. The barista is my boyfriend. He'll give me a ride home after he closes and cleans up."
"All right. But be careful." The words sounded foreign to his ears. Who was he to tell her anything?
"That's very brotherly of you." She grinned again and practically skipped up to the counter.
Dom's hand fell heavy on his shoulder. "You all right, bud?"
"I don't know yet."
Liam joined them. "That's fair. This was a lot to take in."
Adam flanked Slade's other side. "Let's go home."
Slade followed his friends out into the night. He felt both less and more unsettled than he'd anticipated. He hadn't learned why his parents had given him up, or anything about what his father’s life had been like before he’d reconnected with his mother. After a lifetime of wondering, not having answers when the sources were so close was driving him crazy.
His parents were back together, and their lives seemed happy and perfect. What if he didn’t fit in with them? Old feelings of worry and worthlessness, the ones he’d lived with on a daily basis from age six to eighteen surged forward and simmered under the surface.
Dom drove them back to Slade and Liam's apartment. They settled in the living room with beers and baseball highlights playing on the huge TV. Slade tipped back his bottle, draining half. "Tonight was..."
"Frustrating," Dom supplied.
"Yeah. Surreal in that I met my sister. For twenty-six years I've been wondering about my family and now I've met one member. But the rest? The thing with my birth parents getting back together, going to our games, and yeah, frustrating sums it up. I feel like I have more questions than answers." He shook his head and contemplated the contents of his bottle.
Liam sat next to him with his foot propped onto an ottoman. Dom sat in the recliner to Slade's right and Adam sat on the floor. Slade couldn't imagine going through the evening without having them there. For years, they'd been his family, there for him through injuries and hangovers and playoff celebrations and the everyday stuff that everyone took for granted. "Guys, thanks for being there."
Adam reached over and tapped his beer bottle against Slade's. "We'll be at the next one if you need it too."
Slade nodded his thanks. He was keyed up. Thoughts spinning out of control without knowing which way to go. Was this what Savanna experienced when she'd mentioned the countless scenarios that ran through her brain? If so, he understood and she was right: it sucked.
Focusing on her helped calm him. He couldn't wait to see how she'd respond to what he had planned for their next date.
But for now, he'd enjoy an hour with his makeshift family and pretend for a little while that his life wasn't as complicated and everything was as simple as drinking a beer with his boys and watching some baseball.
SAVANNA
LARGE GRAY PLASTIC rock formations jutted out of the walls at different angles. Colorful holds in different sizes dotted the space from floor to the thirty-foot high ceiling. Savanna stood on the spongy rubber floor, watching as Slade scaled the entire wall in under a minute. He didn't wear a harness, didn't worry about falling. When he reached the top, he twisted and waved at her.
Her stomach tightened. "What are you doing? Don't let go!"
Beside her, one of the employees laughed. "Slade's fine. He's holding on. But coming down is always harder than going up."
He really wasn't helping her feel better. She held her breath as Slade reached for foot holds that were a stretch for his long frame, bit her lip as he missed one and slipped, saving himself by grabbing onto a hand hold at his side, and then sighed in relief when he finally touched the ground.
Nearly two weeks had passed since their time in the hot air balloon, thanks to his team's road trip and then the evening ball games at the Riptide's park. He'd mentioned not having much free time during the season and the fact that he wanted to spend his day off with her made her feel special.
She turned to Slade with her hands on her hips. "Something tells me that you've done this before."
His lips twitched and he patted the wall. "Once or twice. If you've never gone rock climbing before, a gym is a great place to start. Liam and I come here sometimes to get some practice in before we hit an
outdoor climb. They have a good selection of routes."
He ran his finger over the harness at her waist. They’d already gone over how the rope attached to the harness worked to anchor her and how the rope also attached to a person on the ground. That person would secure the climber, keeping a close eye on the climber's progress and letting out slack to the line by releasing the belay, a special device that locked the rope, a little at a time as the climber slowly ascended. The person on the ground, called the belayer, would prevent her from falling to the ground if she lost her footing and slipped off the wall. Slade was qualified to be her belayer, holding her rope as she climbed, but if he did, then they couldn’t climb at the same time. "You ready to give it a try?"
Her palms were sweating. "Uh, sure."
Slade laced their fingers together. "I told you I'm all about safety. This place hasn't ever had an accident. They check their equipment all the time and their employees are trained. I wouldn't bring you someplace if it wasn't safe."
"They made us sign a waiver when we arrived."
"People sign waivers all the time. There are even waivers on the back of baseball tickets."
"I know. You're right." She squared her shoulders and smiled at him, and then at the employee, Elias, who would act as her belayer.
Elias went through the safety checks and let her see how he'd secured the rope to his own harness. "We're good."
She dipped her hands into the chalk pouch and studied the colored rocks, seeking out the largest ones. The rock climbing shoes she'd rented were tight but she hadn't wanted much wiggle room. She stepped on a large red rock and gripped a yellow hold not far over her head.
"The purple one on your left would be a good foot hold." Slade's voice came from her left, but she didn't dare turn her head and thank him. Total concentration was paramount.
She reached it and then grabbed an orange hold with her hand. The rope loosened and then tightened as she climbed. Some of the holds were so small, she didn't see how anyone could use them for more than a fingertip grip.
Every step took her higher and higher off the ground. A glance down for her next foothold showed she was halfway up the thirty-foot wall. Her stomach dropped. The ground looked so far away. What if the lock holding the rope broke, or the anchor fell out of the ceiling? There would be nothing stopping her fifteen-foot drop.
Her hands shook and sweaty palms slipped in their grips.
She couldn't move.
Slade moved into her field of vision, climbing the wall with ease. "I'd go for the blue rock by your knee next. Then grab the pink one with your right hand."
"Um, I don't think I can."
"Sure, it looks hard, but if you push up onto your toes and stretch to grab the pink rock first, your left foot will be able to reach the blue hold."
But doing that could end with her slipping off and swinging in mid-air. And she was trusting her safety to someone else. And if the equipment broke, fifteen feet down was a long way to fall, even with the safety mats on the floor. Her heartbeat raced and a wave of dizziness swept over her. "Slade, I can't move."
He switched his hand grips and footing until he rested on the rocks closest to her. "Tell me what's wrong."
"When I told you earlier that I’m not too good with heights, I should have been more honest. I’m terrified. This is scarier than I thought it would be." She swallowed hard, not wanting to disappoint him or herself. "My arms and legs are shaking. I really don't know if I can keep going, or even move at all."
He pressed his right jaw against the wall so she could see most of his face. Sober eyes filled with understanding latched onto her gaze. "Even if you stop here, you did great for your first climb. You're more than halfway up the wall and this isn't even the easiest route. If you want to go back down now, it's fine."
"I hate failing."
"Hey, this isn't failing. Let's go down. Take a break, give your muscles a chance to rest, and if you want, try it again." He turned his head and shouted down to Elias and then smiled at her. "Just let go of the holds. Elias will do all the work of lowering you."
The thought of letting go sent an icy roll of fear through her stomach. But she couldn’t stay on the wall forever. Holding her breath, she lifted her fingers off the holds one by one.
"Good job. You're doing great," Slade crooned beside her. "And you're fine. I promise. You can hold onto the rope if you want. Now, just push off the wall, or lift your feet from the holds."
Keeping her gaze locked on his, she complied while her heartbeat thundered in her ears.
For a moment, she was suspended in the air. Then, the wall started to move. The holds slowly rose higher and higher. Her stomach dropped like she was on a carnival ride, but Elias lowered her steady and smooth. She reached the ground before Slade and let Elias unhook her from the rope.
Slade joined her a minute later, hopping to the ground with athletic grace. He slipped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. "You really did a good job. Do you want to try again or should we call it a day?"
The gym had grown more crowded. She watched kids climb the wall like it was the easiest thing in the world. She'd bet the kids involved with the Wishes Foundation wouldn't wimp out. All around her, people were having fun. No one was cowering in fear. Annoyance at herself, at her weakness, burned hot. Leaving with a failed attempt wasn't an option. "I want to do it again."
Grinning, he rubbed her shoulder. "All right. Just pick a route."
"Maybe I should try the easiest one."
He led her to another wall. "Follow the white tags sticking out of the rocks. It's pretty much a straight shot up and all the holds will be the same size."
She stopped him before he could turn to find Elias. "Could you belay me this time?"
He brushed his fingers over her cheek. "Absolutely."
They went through the rope hook up and all the safety checks and then Slade bent and kissed her. "You've got this. I won't let you fall."
Savanna versus the mountain. She moved into position. The holds were larger and closer together, reminding her almost of a ladder. Her stomach still dropped when she glanced down for a foothold, but Slade on the ground, watching her, holding the rope and removing the slack as soon as she moved, restored her resolve to keep going.
The top grew closer and closer, until she'd finally grasped the last hold.
"You did it!" Slade's cheer made the accomplishment even sweeter. His grin matched her own as she surveyed the gym from her bird's eye view. "You ready to come down?"
"Please." Excitement didn't fully mask her unease at being up so high. She breathed easier as he lowered her to the ground.
He unhooked their harnesses from the rope and then hugged her. "I'm so proud of you."
"Yeah but it was only the beginner route."
"So what? You are a beginner."
A group of kids came over, calling Slade's name, asking to take photos with him, and for him to sign their ball caps or T-shirts. He smiled and posed and shook hands and received hugs. When the crowd dwindled, he reached for her, his fingers closing around hers in a secure clutch.
"Ready to get out of here?"
Leaving the gym on a high note worked for her. Three more people stopped him in the parking lot. He chatted with them and took a photo, then wrapped his arm around her and bid them goodbye.
She studied his profile as he maneuvered the sleek car out of the parking lot. "That happens to you a lot, doesn't it?"
"More so now, thanks to my performance the past few seasons and the endorsement deals I have. I love meeting the fans but yeah, privacy goes out the window. I don't mind as much as some of the guys, but it can be hard to relax if you're worrying about whether someone is snapping a photo of you every second. The team doesn't want any negative publicity, and there's a code of conduct we're supposed to follow. We're judged on things both on and off the field."
"That's hard."
"It can be, but I don't worry too much. Worrying is a waste of time." He shot
her a grin. "How about dinner at my place?"
"Can you cook or is that going to be another adventure?"
Laughing, he switched lanes and sped onto the freeway. "I can do basic things but tonight we're ordering from the restaurant on the first floor of the building."
He drove fast, telling her about the time that he and Liam had gone rock climbing at El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. She'd noticed that most of his stories included Liam, Dom, Adam, or all three. He never mentioned his own family. Curiosity ate at her but she wasn't sure how to bring it up in case she'd hit a sore subject.
When they entered the elevator in his building, he hit the button for the seventeenth floor. He'd neglected to mention that he lived in the penthouse.
The apartment had wide, open rooms, large windows, a huge balcony, and luxury kitchen. She peeked at the view then backed away from the window. "It's private up here."
"Liam and I like it. We picked up Dom's lease when he moved out. Our old place was like a shoe box, way too small and cramped. This is better."
"Better is an understatement. This is gorgeous, and big enough to fit your whole team."
"It has, on occasion." He shrugged. "I spent enough time being lonely while I was growing up, so yeah, I like having people around."
"Did your parents work a lot?"
"Do you want a drink?" He strode to the bar and took out a bottle of scotch and two glasses.
Savanna slowly approached him. She didn't care for scotch, but his tight movements and uneasy expression suggested she'd struck a nerve with her question. "We don't have to talk about something if you don't want to. It isn't easy for me to talk about losing my sister or how my parents handled it at the time, so I understand. I really do."
He set the bottle aside. The sympathy in his gaze caused a lump to rise in her throat. "I didn't know you'd lost your sister."
There was a hollowness in her heart, a space that swelled and ached whenever she thought of Molly. "My sister was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer when she was seven years old and I was eleven. She battled it for three stressful and sad and chaotic years. After she died, my parents were like ghosts of their former selves. I was dealing with losing my best friend and so angry that we hadn't been able to save her or to at least take her to see a Broadway show in New York like she always wanted to do. But the medical bills were piling up and she died before my parents were able to make that wish come true."
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