Seeing his friends set off another wave of unrest that skittered just under his skin. Why did they still hang around him? Was it only a matter of time until he did something to push them away too? He rubbed his hands over his face, and then looked at them, helpless to admit what he needed.
Dom's heavy hand settled on his shoulder. "Slade. What's going on?"
Slade looked from Dom, to Adam, to Liam. How to explain all that had transpired? "First off, Tiffany let on that she had the chance to get me back after Jeannette died, and but the challenges she encountered outweighed how much she wanted me."
"Shit, Slade." Liam let out a low whistle.
Dom patted him once more before moving his hand away. "I'm sorry."
"Did she actually say that?" Arms crossed, Adam raised a brow.
"No, but it sure as hell feels that way. There were challenges there, but come on, man. I was her son. You know how I grew up."
Slade looked out the window. The city pulsed with its own energy and he felt an answering beat in his blood. "Savanna dumped me. I'd been waiting for the thing that would push her away, and asking her to come do this with me was apparently it. Doesn't matter that I fucking needed her. Needed to know that I wasn't alone. That she loved—" His throat thickened. He rubbed his hand over his face again and focused on pushing those feelings down and locking them away. When he had a handle on his control, he looked up. "Time to jump."
"Slade, no. That's too big a risk." Dom's hands covered his shoulders and he turned Slade toward the door. "I'm pulling the big brother card. Let's go home."
"We're not brothers. I don't have any family. I don't have anyone." Drawing away from Dom, he closed in on himself. Sooner or later, everyone would leave.
"Bullshit." Dom glared at him. "You'll always have me. And these guys. You know that. We love you, even when you're being an idiot."
Slade met his gaze, swallowing hard. Gratitude, disbelief, love, and hope tumbled through him.
Dom slung his arm over Slade's shoulder and pulled him into a hug. "You're family to me. Don't forget that. I know I won't."
Slade clung tight. Tears burned his eyes. He hadn't cried in years, not since he'd been a kid, afraid and alone. But here he was, close to losing it in the middle of a bar in the middle of the city on display for anyone to see.
Adam's hand covered his other shoulder. "You'll always have us."
Liam rested his hand on Slade's head and then he threw his arms around the group. "Slade, you know you're the brother I never had. I won't let anyone break up the act. No matter what, that bond won't break."
Slade raised his head. "Were you really going to jump with me, Li?"
Liam nodded. "A little dangerous for me, but I'd do it because you needed me."
"But your ankle. You could re-injure it. It's not fully healed." The depth of Liam's friendship was as deep as the ocean. As far as he'd go for Slade, Slade needed to go just as far to protect him. "We're not jumping. Dom's right, let's go home."
"Thank you." Dom's labored sigh felt like a load off his shoulders, too. His bud steered them toward the door.
Home meant the bar section of the restaurant on the first floor of their apartment building. They took up one side of the bar, with Slade sitting between Dom and Liam, and Adam on Dom's other side.
Dom ordered the first round of shots. "To Slade, for common sense prevailing."
"It wasn't common sense. It was you guys." He knocked back his drink, feeling the love for his buddies. "My crew."
Liam toasted him. "Now that Claire and I are over, you guys are all that I have."
Slade whipped around so fast his chair spun. "You're over, too? What the fuck happened?"
"Ray wants a fully mobile, stunt-ready Fin by mid-August. He and Claire are searching for a replacement for me now, just in case, so the new guy can slip in right away if I'm not ready to go then."
Torn between offering comfort and getting angry on his friend’s behalf, Slade patted Liam's shoulder. "That sucks."
"She wouldn't say no to Ray. She's picking my replacement and training the bastard. This all took place behind my back."
Adam motioned to the bartender. "I think we'll need another round."
Liam rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "If I lose the job..."
"You won't." Dom's firm voice ordered him to believe it.
"But if I do..." Rounded, wounded, desolate eyes met theirs.
Adam passed around the fresh drinks. "Then, we'll just give you a shit ton of money for watching the dogs."
Liam's laughter followed Adam's calm, matter of fact solution. "Dude, be serious."
"I am. You know we'll help you out."
Slade slung his arm around Liam's shoulder. "I always have your back. You know you can count on us."
"I know. I'm lucky."
"Me too." They clinked glasses and downed the next round. Warm fuzziness spread through his joints.
A while later, Dom stood. "You guys are going upstairs after this, right? No going out and doing anything stupid?"
"Upstairs," Slade agreed. He one-arm hugged Dom and lost his balance, catching himself before he fell off the stool.
"All right. We'll check in with you tomorrow." Adam hugged Slade and then Liam.
Arm in arm with Liam, Slade watched Adam and Dom walk out of the bar. "Ready to head up?"
Liam laughed. "You're weaving from side to side. I'll help you walk."
"You're the one weaving. I'll help you." Grinning at Liam, Slade bumped his shoulder and knocked them both into the bar.
"Don't fall on me, man."
They made it to their apartment without incident. Slade unlocked the door. "Another drink?"
"Let's do it." Liam held on to the wall on his way to the kitchen.
Slade grabbed the scotch and glasses. They sat side by side with the bottle between them. "I'm sorry about Claire."
"And I'm sorry about Savanna." Liam swallowed his shot.
Slade studied the amber liquid swirling in his glass. "I love her. And I messed it up."
"It takes two to mess things up." Liam poured them another round.
He pondered that wisdom for a moment. "That true for you and Claire too?"
His friend pushed the glass aside and sat, elbows on the counter and hands in his hair. "I guess I didn't really give her a chance to explain why she did what she did."
"So, talk to her."
"I don't know that she'll talk to me now."
He hated seeing his friend so upset. Even if he’d wrecked his own relationship, maybe he could somehow save Liam and Claire’s. "Maybe I can help."
Liam raised his head. "How?"
"I don't know. But we have the whole night and half a bottle of scotch. We'll think of something."
CHAPTER TWENTY
CLAIRE
CLAIRE OPENED THE DOOR and waved Savanna into her apartment. They could wallow in their misery together or spend a few hours trashing love and watching sappy, romantic comedies, whichever her friend wanted. "I'm glad you're here."
Savanna looked just as drained as she felt. "How are you feeling?"
"Pretty bad. My doctor recommended a different pre-natal vitamin and a vitamin B-6 supplement. I haven’t gotten sick in a few hours, but I’m not feeling much better yet."
"Did you tell your dad about the baby? Maybe he can ask some of the OB’s at the hospital about morning sickness cures if the new remedies don’t work."
"No one knows about the baby. I'll probably tell my dad soon though." She hadn't talked to him or her sisters in over a week. Not since the fight.
Savanna held out the bag she'd brought. "If you're feeling daring, we can have ginger ale and crackers for dinner."
"I can't feed you that. You'll want real food." But she gratefully accepted the soda and crackers and set them in the kitchen.
"I didn't want to risk cooking and you getting sick from the smell. I'll be fine with a sandwich or something."
“Help yourself to anything in
the fridge. Or, there’s a deli and a few restaurants close by.”
The knock on the door startled her. She wasn’t expecting anyone else. Would Liam come back to fight again? Maybe she could try to explain this time. She shrugged at Savanna and checked through the security lens. "It's my dad."
Surprise shifted to worry. If something bad had happened and no one had called her... She tugged the door open. "Dad? Is everything okay?"
He bent to hug her. "I was on my way home from work and thought I'd drop in. Is now a bad time? I want to talk to you about your sisters."
Savanna introduced herself and then walked to the front door. "I'll run down to that specialty Italian market and find us something for dinner."
Dad waited until Savanna was gone. “I heard about what happened last week. Your sisters had a big fight about it today.”
Unsure of what to say, Claire gestured to the kitchen. “Can I get you a drink?”
“I can’t stay long. Lauren is at a friend’s house and needs a ride home soon. With you not at home anymore, I can really see everything you handled. I’m here to apologize, for myself and for them. And believe me, they’re sending a huge apology.”
"For what?"
"For their behavior last week and for all the years that you stepped up and fulfilled extra roles."
"Dad, I didn't mind. I wanted to help."
Dad shook his head and leaned against the counter. "Your mother wanted a houseful of kids because she was lonely. Then, after we had all of you, she was overwhelmed. We didn't communicate well back then. When she left, I didn't see it coming. But I still don't see how she could leave you guys without a backwards glance. I thought the best thing I could do was provide for you. Having Grandma there for the first few years helped, but by then, you were so responsible. I didn't let you be a kid. I didn't insist on it, and I'm sorry. You had too much responsibility from too young an age and for too many years."
"It's all right."
Placing his hand on her shoulder, he shook his head again. "It was too much. You were Lauren's age when Grandma died, and from then on, you held down chores and babysitting, basically being the mom from then until you moved out a few months ago."
"In the beginning, I was scared you'd feel like Mom did, that we were all a burden, and want to leave us too or worse, somehow send us to live with her."
"Never. I'm sorry you overheard her say that. You girls are my joy. I know I missed out on a lot. That's my fault. I really thought that working so much and being able to give you all the lessons and sports camps and classes and cars would make up for Mom leaving. I wish I could go back in time. I'd do a lot differently. But the only thing I can do is go forward and be more present for you all now. I want to come to one of your games and watch you entertain the crowd."
Her sensitive stomach shrunk and knotted. Maybe she'd finally feel better if she shared her news. "I'm not sure how much longer I'll be doing that... Dad, I'm pregnant. And I can't stop throwing up. I can't do the job they need me to do if I'm too exhausted and weak to perform."
"I can't believe my baby is having a baby." He hugged her, and then guided her to a chair. "How far along are you?"
"Still early in the first trimester."
"Have you talked to you obstetrician about the nausea?"
"She started me on a different pre-natal vitamin today."
"If it doesn't work, there are lots of treatment options. Your mother had bad nausea with every pregnancy."
"I don't want to be anything like her." She recoiled at the thought. "Dad, I'm scared. What if I resent this baby the way Mom resented me? I don't want to, but what if it's somehow ingrained?"
He sat beside her. "I'll tell you something. Every single one of you is a blessing to me. I really believe that your mother thought so too. There's six years between you and Amanda, and then the rest of the pack came very close together—four more kids within a five-year span. It was a lot to handle. If I'd done a better job, your mother might not have left. Deep down, she resented me, not you. I'm the reason she left."
She may have been relieved to share the burden, but felt worse for her dad. He'd been all alone since Mom left, too. She wasn't sure what to say to ease the guilt and regret in his voice and on his face. She patted his hand. "I think we all would have been a handful, regardless."
"I didn't realize you were seeing anyone. Is the father someone I know?"
She shook her head. "His name is Liam. He's the other mascot. I screwed up things there. It's a mess. He's pretty upset with me right now. And he doesn't know about the baby yet."
"So, you'll work it out. If you love each other and want to work at your relationship, you can fix anything. And if things don't work out, you won't be alone. You'll always have your sisters and me. You know you can always come back home. You took care of all of us for a long time. It's time we take care of you."
"Thanks, Dad." She hugged him, happy to cling to the promise that she could count on him. For the first time in a week she didn't feel like she was in this all alone.
Knowing she would have support from her family, she wasn't as scared about facing the future.
But, she still needed to talk to Liam and somehow fix the mess she'd created.
SAVANNA
SAVANNA CURLED UP ON one end of Claire's couch, mug of tea in hand. "I haven't seen any news alerts about a man falling to his death while BASE jumping, so I guess Slade's fine."
Claire sat on the opposite end, cross-legged, sipping her ginger ale. "You could text him. Make sure he's okay."
"No. I lost that right when I ended things." She picked at the fringe hanging off the throw blanket on the back of the couch. "I..."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Sighing, she dropped the blanket. "I didn't think I had a choice. All I could see was him rushing off to do this crazy, dangerous stunt without taking my fears, my feelings for him into account. I know I worry a lot, but I've made a conscious effort to be better. I even pause to consider the positive aspects instead of immediately imaging the worst possible what-ifs. But things like this... with him... I love him and I don't want to lose him to a horrible accident from an adventure gone wrong. But then I ended up losing him anyway."
It hurt. An ache in her stomach that reached into her soul.
She sipped her tea. How would she handle seeing him at the next Wishes Granted event? Her chest tightened at the thought. Desperate for a distraction, she gestured to Claire. "Let's talk about something else. Your coloring looks better. And you're keeping down that chicken and pasta."
"Yay for me." Smiling, Claire lifted her soda in mock toast. "I'm feeling better. Not back to normal, but not like I'm going to fall over anymore."
"So what happened with Liam? When I called, you said you guys had a fight about the job?"
"He's so angry. And I don't know how to fix it."
Savanna's phone, resting on the arm of the couch, lit up, ringing. Seeing Liam's name on the screen, panic gripped her heart. "Oh my god. What if something happened to Slade at the jump?"
Claire's phone started ringing. She reached for it. "Calm down. Slade's calling me."
"What?" Beyond confused, Savanna answered the call. "Liam?"
"Savanna." His voice boomed in her ear. She pulled the phone a few inches away. "Slade's a good guy. Maybe a little crazy. But he loves you. Please take him back. He's miserable without you. He needs you."
Stunned, she met Claire's gaze. Wide eyed, her friend pointed to her own phone. Slade's voice, a little slurred, came through loud and clear out of the speaker. "Please talk to Liam. He made a mistake today. You guys belong together."
Liam's voice continued to flow out of Savanna's phone. Speech as slurred as Slade's, he reminded her of all of Slade's good points and positive traits. In the background, she could hear Slade's voice as he did the same to Claire. They were obviously sitting together, maybe positioned just as close as she and Claire, clearly drunk, and very sweet for trying to fix each other's relations
hips.
"He didn't jump," Liam continued. "Realized it was stupid."
"I'm glad." So glad.
"Will you see him?"
Swallowing hard as tears clouded her vision and thickened her throat, she sucked in a breath. "Yes."
"Good." His voice softened. "Have you seen Claire? Is she okay? She shouldn't still be getting so sick. Don't want her ending up in the hospital. Make her see the doctor. Okay?"
"She got a new medicine today and it seems to be keeping the morning sickness at bay."
"Morning sickness?" His voice rose, sharp and loud. "She's pregnant?"
"Um, yeah. You must be pretty drunk if you forgot about the baby." Amused, she rolled her eyes at Claire.
But Claire's face paled. "Wait—"
"Savanna?" Liam's volume increased. "I'm having a baby?"
Savanna's mouth dropped open. Uh oh. "Maybe I'd better put Claire on the phone."
She passed the phone to her stricken friend. "I'm so sorry. But it's been over a week. I thought you told him already."
"No." Taking a deep breath, Claire pulled the phone to her ear. "Liam, I'm here... We're having a baby. I'm... We... We need to talk."
Something banged on his end, followed by a crash as he stumbled around, yelling to Slade, "I need to go, to find Claire."
Slade's voice echoed from both Claire's phone and Savanna's. "We can't drive, Li. I'm seeing two of you. Let's call a car service. Or Dom. He'll take us. Where is she?"
Savanna glanced at the clock and then grabbed her phone. "Liam. It's one-thirty in the morning. Too late to bother Dom. And you guys are too drunk to be roaming around. Claire is with me. She's fine. Go to sleep and sober up. We'll come by and see you tomorrow, okay?"
"What if she needs something tonight?"
"I'll stay with her."
"Okay. Thank you."
"Goodnight." She ended the call and rubbed her hands over her face, torn between laughing and crying.
Beside her, Claire picked up her phone. "Slade? I'm hanging up now. I'll see you—"
"Wait. Make sure Savanna comes tomorrow too." His voice was enough to start Savanna's tears.
"I will." She set her phone aside. "Wow."
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