The man slurped down the rest of his soup. “We’ll see.”
He turned to leave, but as his hand was on the door, Emma Jane spoke up again.
“I realize that I’m imposing on you... However, might I trouble you for the baby’s name? I appreciate knowing that I’m caring for Daisy, and I’d sure like to know who this little guy is.”
The man didn’t turn around. “We all just refer to him as Ben’s brat.” Then he slammed the door behind him as he exited.
At least she’d tried. Obviously, she couldn’t expect the bandits to warm up to her and have a friendly little chat over tea. But she was making progress, and soon enough, their ordeal would be over.
“What were you thinking, challenging a dangerous criminal like that?”
Jasper’s scolding came as completely unexpected and, in Emma Jane’s mind, completely inappropriate. Didn’t he see that she was trying to keep them both alive?
“Me? You were the one who looked like you were trying to crucify him with your eyes. I was just trying to be sure he knew that we are not a threat.”
“By telling him all about Daisy?”
“At least he confirmed her identity, which is more than any of the others have.”
The baby started fussing again, so Emma Jane began rocking him slowly. Then she spoke in a soft voice.
“We can’t quarrel. It upsets the baby. But you have to know that I am doing my very best to keep the peace to avoid any conflict with the bandits that would make them want to kill us. Is it so hard to try to be agreeable?”
The dark scowl on Jasper’s face said that it was, indeed, a difficult task. In fact, he looked like he wanted to kill her almost as much as the bandits seemed to want to kill him.
“These men can’t be reasoned with. They are cold-blooded murderers.”
“So you keep saying.” Emma Jane sat down in the rocking chair with the baby. “What proof do you have of this?”
“The man who was just in here? His name is Rex McGee. There are a number of wanted posters from several places with his name and face on it. Rumor has it that he’s killed many a man just for giving him a cross look.”
“I thought you didn’t pay attention to rumors.” Emma Jane couldn’t help but glower at him. For all his talk about hating people saying bad things about him, he was awful quick to believe stories about the bandits.
“Wanted posters are not rumors.” Jasper groaned and rubbed the sides of his head. “But you’re right, I have no factual basis for the rest. I’m sorry.”
And now Emma Jane was sorry. Clearly, Jasper’s head was paining him, and here she was getting him all upset.
“You should rest. The men gave me some pain relieving powder to use on Daisy, but since I can’t get her to take any of the broth, I could give it to you. I found it most helpful when my own head was hurting.”
For a moment, she thought he’d refuse out of pure stubbornness.
But then he sighed. “Do you think it’s safe?”
Emma Jane got up and showed him the packet. “It looks identical to the one I had when I was injured. I think you should try it.”
Jasper nodded slowly and closed his eyes. “I suppose you’re right.”
She put the baby back in the crate, then mixed the powder. Part of her felt bad for using medicine intended for Daisy, but if the poor woman couldn’t take it, then at least it was being put to good use.
Sitting next to Jasper, she handed him the concoction. “I would tell you to drink it slowly, but it tastes terrible, so you should drink quickly and get it over with.”
He took the cup and did as she instructed. The lines around his eyes seemed deeper as he released a ragged breath.
“Why don’t you lie down and rest? I’m sure your head pains you more than you’re letting on, and the rest will do you good.”
Jasper examined her face, like he was seeing her for the first time. “I don’t understand you.”
“What’s there to understand? You’re in pain, and I’m trying to help you.”
“And Daisy, a stranger.”
He sounded so incredulous. Even after seeing her helping out with the pastor’s mission, he seemed oblivious to the fact that helping others is what Emma Jane did.
“Why would I do any less?”
And then he looked at her with such intensity in his eyes. “But why haven’t you ever helped yourself?”
His words thundered against her chest as she stood. How was she supposed to answer that question? Help herself? What did that even mean?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She started to walk toward where she’d laid the baby down.
“Don’t pick up that baby as an excuse to avoid the conversation.”
Emma Jane turned to him. “What would you have me do instead?”
“I’m trying to figure you out. I have seen you take all kinds of abuse from others, but when it comes to taking care of someone else, you are like a tiger. No one gets in your way, and you stand up admirably to anyone who does. So why haven’t you ever stood up for yourself?”
For a moment, it felt like Emma Jane couldn’t breathe. And then she did. She took a breath, and another.
“Because standing up for myself seemed like an exercise in futility. It never did any good.”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes as she remembered all the times she’d tried standing up for herself against people like Flora Montgomery.
“Who do you think you are?” Flora and her friends would taunt her and laugh.
But laughter wasn’t the only thing Emma Jane remembered. Those darker memories, though, those she shoved down. No use in remembering when she could prevent them from happening again.
“If you’re so brave in your defense of others, you should do the same for yourself.”
Easy for him to say.
“I’ll try.” She started to go back to the baby, but once again, Jasper stopped her.
“Why are you so nice to the bandits?”
“Why shouldn’t I be?”
“You don’t owe them anything.”
Emma Jane closed her eyes. Tried to shut down the thoughts of the past that had been threatening her ever since she was kidnapped.
“You’re right. I don’t. But I also know that the more cooperative I am, the less likely they are to harm me.”
“Look at me.”
She opened her eyes.
“You keep saying that, as if you know what it’s like to be kidnapped. Have you been kidnapped before?”
Gentleness filled his voice, and compassion was in his brown eyes. They’d been at odds so much since his arrival at the cabin, and here was the reminder that underneath was a Jasper that she found she liked, quite a lot.
The truth was so far from his suspicions, and she found she couldn’t give it voice. Yet how was she supposed to let him believe a lie?
“I’ve never been kidnapped.”
Emma Jane swallowed, unable to tear her gaze from his. “But I know what it’s like to live among people who make you afraid. Who will hurt you if you don’t do as they ask.”
“Who were you afraid of?”
She sighed, knowing that the only path out of this troubling conversation was the truth. Ignoring his previous request to not pick up the baby, she went to the baby and took him in her arms. Not as an excuse to avoid, but as comfort against the pain.
“My father got angry a lot. But I learned that if I just took care of things to make our household run smoothly, then he’d not be so angry.”
Emma Jane sat in the rocking chair with the baby, snuggling him to her, and looking at him rather than Jasper’s questioning eyes.
“Did he hurt you?”
The words pained her too much to c
ome out. It somehow seemed disloyal to say such things about her father. He wasn’t a bad man, not like these men.
Emma Jane didn’t look up. “Everything was fine as long as I took care of everyone.”
Then she brought her gaze to Jasper. “And that’s what I’m doing here. Taking care of everyone so no one gets hurt.”
“Your father...” A muscle pulsed in his jaw, and he rubbed his head again.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Sometimes he drank too much. But everyone knows that. I learned to keep myself, and my sister, safe. And that’s what I’m trying to do here. That’s all that matters.”
Standing, Emma Jane shifted the baby to another position as she grabbed a blanket from a nearby chair. “Now I must insist that you rest.”
He looked at her, his eyes full of a fight, but his head clearly so weary that it was obvious what he needed. Fortunately, he lay down, and Emma Jane did her best to tuck the blanket around him.
“Thank you, Emma Jane,” he said huskily, putting his hand over hers as she patted the blanket. “I appreciate what you’ve done, and I hope you get some rest, too.”
“I will.” She gave his hand a squeeze, noting the warmth that passed between them.
As cross as he’d been with her, he still had room in his heart for kind feelings toward her. For warmth. Perhaps even for friendship.
Then she got up and walked over to where Daisy lay. Her fever had gone down, and she seemed to be less restless than she’d been when Emma Jane had first arrived.
“Everything’s going to be all right, Daisy,” she told the sleeping woman. “Your baby is just fine, and I’m taking good care of him.”
As if to confirm Emma Jane’s words, the baby gurgled softly, a contented sound, giving her hope that things really were going to be okay.
Though she’d been firm in telling Jasper that being kind to the bandits was the best way to keep them alive, part of her feared that it wouldn’t be enough. Because what she hadn’t told Jasper was while her tactics worked to placate her father, nothing had ever seemed good enough for her mother. The only difference was that while her father used his hand, her mother always wounded Emma Jane with her words. And sometimes, Emma Jane thought she’d much rather have the bruises.
Marriage to Jasper hadn’t been what she’d wanted. But in all her days as his wife, she hadn’t once been afraid he was going to hurt her. His mother might not be the warmest woman in the world, and yes, her insults did sting, but Jasper and his father had shown her more kindness and consideration than her own family had.
Which again felt disloyal, since she was supposed to honor her father and mother. They did the best they could, she supposed, considering her father’s battle with the drink and gambling. And her mother, being forced to live in a rough place like Leadville, when she’d been the belle of society before the war. Of course, Emma Jane had just been a baby during the war, and she didn’t remember any of it.
All she knew was that her mother said the war had changed her father, changed their family, and nothing had been the same since. But at least with Emma Jane’s marriage to Jasper, her family could have their finances restored. Maybe then they would find the happiness that had eluded them all these years.
As for Emma Jane, she’d learned not to pursue happiness for herself. But in taking care of others, she at least found a place where she could have contentment of sorts.
* * *
The smell of sizzling bacon woke Jasper. He tried to lift his head, but it felt heavy, like it was full of lead. When he opened his eyes, he could see Emma Jane, serving the bandits breakfast. He watched her, noting the same polite demeanor she’d had the previous day. But now, knowing what she’d said about her father, he noticed something more.
While Emma Jane appeared pleasant enough, the light didn’t reach her eyes. How had he missed it before? She played the role of the servant beautifully, but her heart wasn’t there.
He’d been wrong to chastise her. He still didn’t like her being friendly with the bandits, but he could see where she was coming from. His heart weighed heavy in his chest as he realized how hard her life had been, and how he’d never noticed before.
“I fixed you some eggs,” Emma Jane said softly as she knelt beside him. “If you’re up to it, that is.”
He tried reading her. Was the kindness because she cared for him, or because she feared him? The answer shouldn’t matter, but he found it did—very much.
“Thank you.” He struggled to sit up. “You don’t have to wait on me, you know. You’re not my servant.”
She smiled, and her blue eyes warmed. “I know. But you’re hurt, and it’s important for you to get your strength up. So eat.”
Emma Jane set a plate in front of him, then went to pick the baby up.
Efficient as always, and focused on the child. He thought again about their discussion last night regarding children. Rather, his avoidance of the discussion. As he watched her sing softly to the baby, he realized that she, too, had given up all dreams of having children.
Could they find a compromise? No, not a compromise. One didn’t have a baby out of compromise. But could they find enough common ground that would allow them to have the sort of feelings a man and woman needed to bring a child into the world?
Emma Jane would make an excellent mother.
And the more he watched her, with the sun streaming into the room through cracks in the window, the more he had to admit that she was quite lovely. Even now, with her hair falling out of its bun, her dress dirty and a smudge of something on her cheek, he couldn’t help but think everyone had been mistaken in mocking her for being unattractive.
“Is something amiss?” Emma Jane looked directly at him. She’d caught him staring.
“No.” Swallowing hard, he had to remind himself that there was still a lot unsettled between them. Any admiration or attempts at expressing such admiration was best left for later.
One of the men entered the room, carrying Jasper’s saddlebag. “Thought you might find something useful in here, miss.”
A genuine smile lit up Emma Jane’s face. “Oh, thank you, Mack. You’ve been so helpful.”
“It was nothing, miss. You’ve sure brightened this place up, and while I do regret that we can’t let you go, the least I can do is make sure you’re comfortable.”
Jasper tried not to groan. Unfortunately, he wasn’t successful, because Emma Jane looked right at him. “Is your head paining you again? I could make you some more headache powder.”
He sighed, then nodded. As much as he’d like to say he was completely recovered, he’d be a liar. And he’d need all his strength to plan their next move. Emma Jane might have faith that the gang would let them live after it was all over, but he knew better.
They might be under heavy guard, yet there had to be a way to escape.
She prepared the powder, then gave it to him. He drank it quickly, then, to ease the taste, ate some of the eggs Emma Jane had given him.
While he ate, she opened his saddlebags. He hadn’t kept anything valuable in them, especially since he hadn’t been preparing for a trip, but hopefully she’d happen upon something useful.
“Oh, my!” Emma Jane’s eyes lit up. “You found my Bible!” Then she stopped and looked at him apologetically. “That is, our Bible. I was hoping you’d see it and realize I’d left you a clue.”
Jasper couldn’t help but grin back at her. “No, it’s your Bible. I know it was a wedding gift to both of us, but it brings you such joy that I wouldn’t dream of it being anything but yours.”
He didn’t have the heart to tell her that while the Bible was important to her, it was just a book to him. But it seemed to mean a lot to Emma Jane, and if it made her happy, then he was all for it.
“As for finding your Bible.” He gave a shrug. “I may not know mu
ch about you, but I have noticed the way you always seem to have it with you.”
Then he looked around—some of the bandits appeared to be huddled over some papers. Jasper could identify Rex, and he knew that several others remained outside. As he observed their interactions, it was becoming clearer how the gang’s leadership had evolved with the arrest of Ben Perry and other key members of the gang. Of course, this meant that there was no way they were getting out alive.
No matter how optimistic Emma Jane sounded, the gang wasn’t going to be willing to risk being so exposed. Ultimately, if Jasper didn’t find means of escape, they had but days to live. The only question was why the bandits were keeping them alive in the first place. Jasper didn’t buy for a minute that they were afraid that killing him would bring about more attention. Surely they had to know, that even with Jasper having been kidnapped, there would be more people looking for them.
So what was their game?
As if he could sense the direction of Jasper’s thoughts, Rex turned toward Jasper. “I need you to write me a letter.”
“For...?” Even without looking at Emma Jane, he could tell she was glaring at him over his sullen tone.
“To your father. Letting him know you’re alive, and where he can bring the ransom.”
“I believe I mentioned that my father doesn’t pay ransom.”
Rex gave him a long, calculated look. “Doesn’t matter. The sheriff will still send men to the drop-off point, giving us the perfect distraction to take care of stuff. We just need you to oblige us with a letter proving you’re alive and that we mean business.”
Jasper shook his head. At least he got the answer to his unspoken question. They wanted to keep him alive long enough to use him as bait.
Which meant as soon as the bandits had their plan in motion, Jasper and Emma Jane were dead. Well, he wasn’t going to make it that easy for them.
“And what if I don’t write that letter?”
Rex turned his attention to Emma Jane, who clutched her Bible to her chest and was observing their interactions with wide eyes.
“It’d be a shame if anything happened to that pretty little wife of yours.”
Shotgun Marriage (Leadville, Co. Book 3) Page 11
