“We’ll be in the garden if you need us,” she said as she shut the door behind her.
I exhaled in the peaceful silence. Within these walls, the forest chirps and buzzing I’d grown accustomed to were so far away. I stood with a groan and peeled off my layers, then huddled in the warm water, moaning. The wounds from the wolves stung, then settled. My eyes fell closed, and the heat soaked deep into my bones, unknotting my muscles.
My hair, on the other hand, took three washings to get the grime of the Wild out. And my ring had darkened a few shades with all the dirt embedded in the etchings and around the gem. My thumb traced the blue stone, and I flipped the ring around to hide the gem, though Irena and her family had probably already noticed it.
The water had cooled and turned an awful shade of brown by the time I got out, dried off, and put on some of the clothes Irena had given me. She’d left both a nightgown, and a skirt and blouse. I bit my lip as I tucked the blouse into the high-waisted faded-red skirt, trying to mimic Irena’s style. The top was much too big on me, and because I was taller than her, the skirt was much, much too short, barely reaching midcalf. She’d left no stockings, and my cold feet were still bare. But it was better than sitting in a nightgown all day.
A quick knock sounded.
“Enter,” I called after an awkward moment, wondering what I was supposed to say.
My practiced fingers braided my wet hair as Irena bustled in, little Gia toddling behind her. “It smells better in here already,” she said with a laugh. She gathered my filthy clothes and dumped them into the tub. “Sit,” she commanded. “Rest.”
“I can help,” I said, though I knew very well I had no idea how to wash clothes.
Gia came and took my hand, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Mama washes the best. We can’t help yet.”
Her tiny fingers wrapped around mine. How long had it been since anyone besides my brother had touched me? She kicked her legs, banging her feet against the wood frame. The side of my mouth quirked up. “Are we too little?”
Gia nodded solemnly. “But Carlo can help Papa in the fields. And I help Mama pick berries.”
I squeezed her chubby hand and smiled. A sharp ache started in the back of my head to match the constant ache in my chest. My lips pressed together, and Irena, eyes trained on us, paused. “Lie back now, Jen. Gia, bring Jen some bread and the carrots we picked this morning.”
“Okay, Mama.”
Gia’s shoulders raised proudly when she brought me the food.
“Thank you,” I told her, mouth already watering. I tucked my feet under the blanket. “Your mama is lucky to have such a good helper.” I stuffed the herbed bread in my mouth and bit off the end of a carrot, munching it all together.
Gia beamed at the praise, then addressed her mother. “May I play now?”
Irena chuckled, squeezing the last of the water from my trousers. “Yes, carina. But stay close.”
Gia tore out of the house, her black curls flying behind her. How many times had Ren and I sprinted from the castle just like that? I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“She is perfect,” I said to Irena.
She laughed. “A perfect handful, yes.” Irena sobered, her finger poking through one of the tears in my tunic, from the wolves. “Let’s get you patched up, then we’ll worry about the clothes.”
Irena started with the scratches over my ribs. They weren’t deep, but she took a little jar from her cupboard and mixed the crushed herbs with water, then smeared them over the wounds, wrapping them with a clean cloth. I’d never seen anyone treat injuries this way, but Turians had always known more about healing than Hálendians.
“Where are you headed?” she asked as she applied a clear, thick cream to my nose and cheeks, where my skin had peeled from my time in the sun. She didn’t ask where I was from. If I couldn’t hide my origins—and I really doubted I could—I’d need a reason to be here. A new story, like the stories in the library back home.
I cleared my throat and leaned back a bit so Irena wasn’t so close. The pungent smells of herbs I only vaguely recognized drenched the air. “Turiana. I’m looking for information.”
Irena’s head bobbed once, accepting my vague reply. She took rags that had been soaking in a purple liquid and wrapped them tight around my tender ankle, then placed my leg atop a rolled-up blanket on the bed. “The palace library is the most extensive on the Plateau. You can find near anything there.”
I hoped she was right. Hoped that I’d find out if Marko had sent the mage after my family. Or how to kill a mage. Or what I should do next.
I lay propped up in the bed the rest of the morning, the ache from the tethers pressing against me, keeping the peace I could almost feel in this home just out of reach. I watched, numb, as Irena moved around, singing or humming with her velvet voice, using care-worn yet gentle hands to prepare a meal for her family.
Carlo came back at midday with warm milk that filled my belly enough to let my eyes finally close. The shaking in my hands had almost disappeared.
The nap wasn’t long enough. I jerked awake, wincing at the boulder sitting on my chest after yet another dream about the shining lake in the Wild. I checked that my sword still rested nearby, that the knife still hid in my boots, my staff and cloak bundled next to them on the floor. That Ren’s book was still under my pillow.
I needed to leave. Find out if Marko had ordered my family’s death. Find the mage and the traitor who’d betrayed us. Hálendi’s people, its history, sat on my shoulders, pressing me into the soft bed.
Clouds I couldn’t see from my spot in bed opened, dumping enough rain to bring Lorenz and Carlo in early. The family settled into the tiny cabin, creating a togetherness I’d never experienced in my life. Irena smiled at the rain as Lorenz kissed her cheek and helped her with dinner, standing close enough to always be touching. Carlo stirred the contents of the blackened pot over the fire, and Gia played with her doll at the base of my bed.
Survive, or that gray monstrosity wins.
I’d survived. But he still won.
I’d leave when it stopped raining.
“Is everything all right, carina?” Irena’s quiet voice caught my attention. Carlo eyed me from next to the fire.
I loosened my grip on my sword—my fingers had wrapped themselves around it—and forced a smile. “Yes.”
“Do you fight?” Carlo asked as he stirred the stew. Irena’s steady rhythm of chopping missed a beat.
I debated, but the sword had given that away already. “Yes.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, so I stayed quiet.
Carlo’s long wooden spoon stopped stirring. “I’ve heard of girls joining up, but all the girls I know just want to raise orchards instead.” He wrinkled his nose. “Will you show me?”
I tilted my head. “Show you what?”
He gestured to my staff and my sword. “How to fight.”
“Well…” My insides twisted, remembering muddy paths and sightless eyes.
Irena cut in. “She’s still healing, Car.”
He slumped back and stirred dinner again. When everything was ready, Lorenz pulled the long table away from the wall, and we gathered the mismatched chairs and sat around it together. Gia kept up a constant stream of chatter. Lorenz’s gaze kept darting to me when he thought I wasn’t looking. The feeling of being watched followed me into my dreams.
* * *
The next morning—another nightmare had woken me long before the others—I explored outside the cabin until I found a quiet stand of trees next to their barn. The rain had stopped sometime during the night, though dark clouds hung low, nearly brushing the treetops. The wet ground sank with every step, resisting me every time I lifted my foot. I’d meant to do the stretches and exercises Master Hafa taught to build strength before setting out again. Instead, I stared at the trees to the north. Toward the Wi
ld. Toward home.
Word of the mage’s attack should have reached Hálenborg by now if anyone had survived. And if not…
A pair of black crows landed in a tree, shaking the branch with their weight. Did everyone believe me dead?
Soft footsteps approached from the house. I settled into a relaxed stance and tried to hide evidence of my heavy thoughts.
“Is it time for breakfast already?” I asked, infusing my voice with a lightness I didn’t feel.
Irena leaned against a tree and eyed me without responding. My shoulders slumped under her gaze, but I couldn’t seem to lift them again. The Wild pulled at me, even from afar. Beckoning.
“I don’t know what’s happened to you, and I’m not asking for details,” Irena said, drawing my attention from the trees. “But you’ve a long life ahead of you, Jen. Don’t dwell on your past—it’s not where you’re going.” She wiped her hands on her apron and turned back to the cabin without waiting for a response.
Rain pinged against the roof again as we finished breakfast. I’d wait for this next storm to pass, then leave. Instead of working outside, Lorenz and Carlo sat around the fire. The boy whittled a figurine from wood, but Lorenz’s concentration bounced between the fire and me.
“You could just ask her,” Irena finally said.
My cheeks heated, and my fingers twisted in the coarse fabric of my skirt. Waiting.
“The man who owns the field closest to ours said he heard a rumor something was brewing between Turia and Hálendi.”
The wind shifted outside, and rain splashed against the windows. Something was definitely brewing. But who had started it?
“He said the Hálendian princess never arrived.”
I bowed my head, hoping they wouldn’t see the truth. I still couldn’t believe Marko would toss away centuries of peace between our lands. Couldn’t believe he’d fabricate a marriage alliance just to kill us.
“Do you know anything about that?” he asked, a direct question I couldn’t avoid.
My thumb rubbed against the gem of my ring, still palm-down. “I know a little.” The rasp of Carlo’s knife against his wood block stopped. Even little Gia perked up. “I don’t know everything, but…” I swallowed. “I don’t want to endanger you.”
A sliver of guilt wormed its way under my skin. This harmless family wouldn’t stand a chance against a mage, and I might be endangering them just by being here.
Irena reached for Lorenz’s hand, and they shared a worried glance. Lorenz pressed his lips together. “Do you know if there will be a betrothal?”
My teeth clenched together hard, and I rubbed my forehead to erase the memory of Aleinn dressed in my cloak. “No, there will not.” Not as long as everyone thought me dead. And I’d let them think that as long as a mage roamed the Plateau and a traitor hid in Hálendi.
Lightning flashed, briefly casting the room in sharp contrast. Carlo’s wooden toy lay forgotten in his lap. Gia hugged her doll and watched her parents with wide eyes.
My brow furrowed. “Why does this disappoint you? You want a foreigner on the throne with your prince heir?”
Lorenz swiped his hand through the air. “Foreigner or not, we needed the alliance. Riiga has been threatening us from the south. Raising prices to import our crops. There’s even rumors of mercenaries arriving there from the Continent.”
“Glaciers,” I muttered, mind spinning. With those circumstances, Marko would be a fool to break our agreement, to destroy my family. Hálendi might have been short on troops, but our soldiers’ ability was unmatched. Riiga wouldn’t dare instigate a confrontation if Turia were linked through marriage to Hálendi. “I…” My mind raced, flicking through possibilities. “I want to help, if I can.”
The lines around Irena’s eyes and mouth softened, but Lorenz’s eyebrows dipped until they almost met in the middle.
I hurried on before he could dismiss me. “I need to go to Turiana anyway, so maybe I could…find a way to work for the king. Train soldiers.” The words came out as I thought them, tumbling one over the other. “Or find out what happened with the princess, why she didn’t come.”
Lorenz shook his head. “No, carina, it’s too—”
“I can do it,” I said.
“I know you can,” he said, his words startling me into silence. He did? With a glance toward the Wild and a small grin, he said, “I do not doubt your abilities. I only think you are so young to carry such a burden.”
My thumb rubbed the gem in my ring, my braid falling over my shoulder as I lowered my head. I thought it would feel heavier, this responsibility, but my spirits lifted with a sense of direction. A path to take.
“I may be young, but it’s a burden I’ll gladly bear,” I said quietly. The rain still pounded on the windows, wind still thrashed the trees, but their gloom couldn’t reach me anymore.
Irena huffed. “It’s a burden you can bear after you’ve healed a bit more. Your ribs stick out too far to carry much of anything.”
Irena saw through my placating smile—I know she did. I’d need to leave much sooner than that.
* * *
The idea came in the night, mirroring the crash of thunder that woke me. The servants in the palace in Turiana. Like Irena and Lorenz’s gossipy neighbor, servants were always the first to know anything, had access to parts of the palace I’d never be welcomed in as a princess. I could find out if Marko had sent the mage, and if so, figure out how to defeat them both. Then I’d move on to the Hálendian traitor.
Knowing Lorenz and Irena’s opinion on the prince heir marrying a foreigner wasn’t enough to absolve Marko’s involvement in the attack. Maybe other opinions held sway elsewhere.
My hand had wrapped around my staff when Irena’s voice broke the morning quiet.
“Are you leaving us now, Jen?” I had pulled my pile of folded Hálendian clothing from the corner of my bed to change into, but Irena shook her head. “A girl in a gray uniform will stick out.”
Lorenz emerged from the other room shaking his head. “You don’t want to stick out.”
Irena handed me a small leather bag—the same leather as in Hálendi, but instead of a drawstring and loops to attach it to a belt, it was square, with a flap to cover the opening and a long strap that fit over my shoulder and across my body. “For the clothes you came with,” she said.
I took the satchel and held it to my chest. It already had a bit of wrapped food at the bottom. “Thank you,” I whispered. The clothes, battered though they were, reminded me of home.
I tucked everything into the bag, then gathered Irena’s castoff skirt and blouse and changed in their room, belting her skirt at my waist. I’d have to get used to all that fabric swishing around my calves. At least the storm last night had finally brought in warmer weather. I slipped Ren’s book into the pocket of the skirt. My braid stayed tucked in my shirt, my knife in my boot. The boots didn’t match my Turian apparel, but Irena’s would never fit and I didn’t have money for a new pair.
I debated how odd it would look to walk around in a skirt with a sword at my hip. In the end, I belted it on but tied a sweater Irena gave me around my waist to hide the weapon from view.
The whole family waited outside the cabin. Lorenz gave me a few precious coins and general directions to the village of Teano, where I’d hire a cart to Turiana. When he’d finished, I took one of his hands and one of Irena’s in mine.
“I’ll never be able to thank you both enough for everything that you have done for me and given me.” Irena pulled me into a hug. Lorenz put his arms around both of us. We stood like that long enough to heal some of my brokenness, to ease a bit of the pain from the tethers.
To Carlo, whose hair still stuck up in the back and on the side, I handed my staff, complete with claw marks and the strips I’d used to protect my hands. His eyes went huge as he took the gift. “Thank you,” h
e whispered.
I squeezed his shoulder. “I first learned to fight with a staff. Practice hard, and you’ll do great things one day, Carlo.”
Gia hugged my legs. I squatted down and hugged her tight, breathing in her fresh-from-sleep scent. “Goodbye, little one.” She leaned into her father as I stood, resting her head against his leg and waving to me.
Irena pulled the yellow scarf from her hair and wrapped it around mine, then plopped a wide-brimmed hat on top. “Stay safe,” she whispered. “If you are ever near here again, please come see us, Jen. You’ve a light inside that brightens everything around you.”
My feet didn’t move when I ordered them to. I didn’t want to leave this place. If I walked away from this clearing, from this family, I could never leave the path I was choosing. I had to be all in, or all out. A shiver trickled down my neck, but I shook it off. This wasn’t like the Wild. I wanted to stay, but I wouldn’t. I remembered.
Ren’s smiling face flashed in my memory. The quiet moment I’d shared with my father the day before I left for Turia. My mother’s soft smile and warm arms. Aleinn’s loyalty and friendship. They resonated deep inside me.
I would find a way to avenge the death of my family, the attack on my kingdom. But I would do more than that. I would protect Irena and her family, and all families like hers. I knew a little of what the mage was capable of. I would not let him destroy our land, our people—regardless of which side of the border they lived on.
“I promise I will be careful. Thank you.” I hugged Irena one last time, tousled Gia’s hair, and stepped into the sunshine filtering through the trees.
I’d find a way into the palace, and I’d find the mage. I just had to make it to Turiana without incident. It couldn’t be worse than the Wild. At least, I hoped.
In the King’s Study
The king strolled toward the study after breakfast, Blaire trailing behind. He tapped yet another letter in his hands.
I am already moving the men in place. Riiga will have an intimate connection to Turia before the storm season sets in. There is no guarantee with the other factors, the other situation. I care only for the welfare of Riiga and its people.
Shielded Page 14
