by Nhys Glover
‘Galeria, how immodest of you. Remember your sister is in the room,’ Papia snapped, her cheeks growing red with mortification.
Cyra was starting to learn that Papia was in every way the typical upper-class matron, and her willingness to follow the Stoic path was only due to her unerring belief that one followed unquestioningly the dictates of one’s husband. Her daughter Galeria was a constant enigma to her. To her way of thinking, what girl wouldn’t want to marry a rich, powerful man? It was her role in the scheme of things, after all.
But Galeria was her father’s child and she had his support in all things. If she didn’t choose to marry, then Donicus wouldn’t force it on her. Cyra had to respect the man for that.
Later that evening as the sun began to set on the opposite side of the island, Cyra brushed out Galeria’s long hair. She’d been surprised to find that it was naturally curly and that when Galeria let it fall about her face, it softened the sharp angles of her features and made her look far more feminine.
‘Why won’t you wear your hair in a more flattering style? I could do it for you. You know I could. You seem to take pride in your plainness, and you aren’t plain at all.’
‘I don’t care what I look like, Cyra. I told you the body doesn’t matter and that’s the truth. The only thing I value in myself is my health, my mind and possibly my qualities. Even though most of those qualities are not ones that upper-class women should value.’
‘Such as?’ Cyra ran the brush through the long locks again, enjoying the feel of the silky threads through her fingers. She was a hedonist, she couldn’t deny it. To her the pleasures of the body were to be encouraged and enjoyed, not shunned in favour of the mind alone. She would never be a Stoic, although there were certainly aspects of the philosophy she did approve of.
‘Such as I am curious and inventive.’
‘Both of those would be useful to a wife.’ Cyra tried not to snigger.
‘How would being inventive be useful to a wife?’ Galeria turned to stare at her in wide-eyed astonishment. Cyra tried to swallow down her humour; it didn’t work.
‘Mistress, a wife who can find new ways to keep the marriage-bed ever-fresh is much appreciated.’
Galeria frowned as she considered Cyra’s words. ‘Like they taught you at that school in Amaseia? But they were the tools of the concubine, not the wife.’
‘It doesn’t matter. A man wants pleasure in his bed from whichever woman he takes there. If she just lies there like a lump of wood, he’ll go elsewhere. Of course, even if she does more than lie there like a lump of wood, he’ll probably go elsewhere. It’s the nature of men. But at least you’d keep him a little longer if you keep surprising him.’
Galeria considered this for a moment more before turning around again so Cyra could continue with her hair. ‘It’s immaterial. I’ll never marry. That’s the way I want it.’
‘You could take a lover. Sexual pleasure is not confined to the marriage bed, even for someone like you, as long as you remained discrete and took precautions.’
‘Precautions?’
‘Not to fall pregnant. We were taught many different ways. I could inform you.’
‘No… no. Thank you, Cyra, but I have no plans to take a lover or a husband.’
‘Do you prefer women?’
Galeria turned back to her with another deep frown etched into her forehead. ‘You said something like that to me the first day. Women can’t be with women that way.’
‘They can and do. Just not amongst your class. It is different but not unpleasant.’
‘You have done this? Been with a woman?’
‘Oh, yes, it was part of my training, both at home and then in the dancing school. As we couldn’t practise our arts on men at the school, we had to practise on each other.’
Galeria turned around again and was quiet for the length of time it took for Cyra to braid her hair for bed.
‘I don’t think I prefer women. I find men attractive. I just have never met one I would want to… be with in that way.’
‘Then I don’t understand. You’re a healthy young woman; you should be enjoying the pleasures of a man.’ Cyra put the brush on the table and came to sit on the dressing table in front of Galeria.
‘It’s about more than pleasure for me. It feels repugnant to even consider being with a man in that way unless I loved him. I’m sorry that you don’t understand me, Cyra, but it’s what feels right for me. And as I have yet to meet a man who I could ever love, and who would ever love me in return, I’m content to remain a virgin, enjoying the pleasures my mind provides.’
Cyra stood up and gave an exaggerated shrug. ‘I just thought I could enjoy the vicarious pleasures you might have, as I will never experience them for myself again.’
‘Why not? If you still want to after what that beast tried to do to you.’
Cyra shrugged again, throwing her single plait of jet-black hair over her shoulder. ‘How can I explain this to you in a way you would understand? Hmmm… all right. Let’s see if this analogy works. If I’ve eaten many enjoyable meals and then found myself having to live on stale bread and vomitus slop, would I stop wanting good food? Or, would I jump at the first half-decent meal that comes my way? Sex is as necessary to life as eating. You, dear Mistress, starve your body in more ways than one to maintain your Stoic mindset.’
‘I don’t starve myself. I eat well. It’s an important part of maintaining good health. Food is medicinal after all! But I don’t have to enjoy it. It’s just a momentary pleasure that often passes me by entirely when I’m thinking serious thoughts.’
‘Go to bed, Mistress. You exhaust me with your arguments. Do you want me to come to the ludus with you tomorrow or will I stay here and assist your mother with Galerianna?’
Galeria smiled sweetly. ‘Stay here. You are the best tutor my little sister could have. It didn’t work to have her in the ludus with me. She kept expecting to get preferential treatment and the other children picked on her. Here, she has you all to herself. As long as you are not educating her in matters that are unsuitable…’ her voice held a note of teasing.
‘I adore your little sister. She reminds me of my own. I would never teach her anything that was not totally appropriate for her age and station. She is becoming an excellent musician, by the way, and her voice is as sweet as a wind chime.’
‘In Galerianna, Mater has the perfect daughter. She’s beautiful and talented in all the maidenly arts. She’ll attract the best possible husband. On that day Mater will have two children she can be proud of.’
‘Your mother is proud of you and she loves you. She just doesn’t understand you. Can you blame her when she was raised so differently to you?’
‘No, I don’t blame her. I adore her. But I wish that I could please her more. When I said I wished I could love Antoninus, I meant it. It would give me so much pleasure to make the sort of marriage she wants for me. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Not with that awful man. I wish he would just go away and leave us all alone. He takes Pater from his other students, he pushes in where he isn’t wanted and he makes odd statements about things I have no knowledge of but feel I should. It’s as if he is trying to make me look stupid.’
‘He probably is. Most men are intimidated by intelligent women. Look what my last master was like.’
‘And that’s what worries me most. If I did marry him, would he turn out like that man? Would he beat me for his own pleasure?’
‘You could divorce him if he did. A Roman upper-class woman is not a slave.’
Galeria nodded as she went to climb into bed. ‘Still, I would rather not have to face such a situation. I’ll stay a virgin until I die. I’m content with that. Goodnight my dearest Cyra.’ As an afterthought she added, ‘And if you want a nice meal after all the stale bread and slop you’ve had, then why not look to Orpheus? He’s a fine figure of a man, and his height wouldn’t be an issue for you as you’re only small yourself.’
‘Go to sleep, Mistress
, and let me take care of my own love life. I’ll wake you before dawn.’
CHAPTER FOUR
April 82 CE, Davyrdanus Estate, Durnonovaria, BRITANNIA
Livianna Honoraria rested her head on her husband’s shoulder as they stood looking out over the verdant valley below. If Britannia hadn’t been so far from Rome, and if it didn’t rain so incessantly, she could be happy that Livia had made her place here with her husband, Allyn. It was a beautiful estate on productive land, and if the villa was more of a barbarian’s roundhouse than she would have liked, she could still see the sense in it. Even in April it was cold this far north. The Roman villa was designed for milder climates, not frigid drafts, snow and constant downpours.
‘What are you thinking, my love?’ asked Titus as he stroked her arm tenderly.
‘That I’m happy Livia is doing so well but that I miss her already.’
‘We’ve only just arrived!’ He laughed good-naturedly.
‘I know. But we’ll have to leave in a few months to get back home before the winter makes travelling impossible. It seems such a short time, and with Livia with child again… and with young Lucius at such a delightful age… I do so enjoy being a grandmother.’
‘You don’t look old enough to be a grandmother, but I understand. I, too, would prefer to stay away from Rome for longer, but by winter Domitian should have worked off his fears of Senatorial revolt and be ready to embrace his family again. Although I preferred Titus because we were of an age, I do believe Domitian will make a good Emperor once he stops trying to fill the oversized shoes of his father and brother and becomes his own man. I must be there when he does to act as advisor. I fear he won’t be as willing as his brother to draw on family for such a role, but I have to try.’
At that moment, the door to the huge roundhouse opened and Livia, heavy with child and with Lucius’ little hand in hers, waddled toward them.
‘Do you approve, Mater?’ Livia asked, indicating the view. She still seemed uncomfortable calling Livianna mother.
After years of separation and believing her mother to be a whore, it was difficult to build bridges. But Livianna was pleased with the progress they’d made thus far, if only they could stay together longer. The few months they’d had after Vesuvius erupted, and the few months they would have now, weren’t enough to overcome a lifetime of emotional distance between mother and daughter. Livianna cursed her ex-husband yet again for his selfishness, cruelty and madness. But no amount of cursing could change what had been. All they could do now was move on.
‘I do indeed. I was just saying to Titus that I wish we could stay here forever. I like being a grandmother.’ She leaned down and swooped the toddler into her arms. He screamed with delight.
‘And Lucius loves having a grandmother. His grandfather Darvyd is wonderful with the boy, but he needs a grandmother, too.’
‘I look forward to meeting Vespasius Darvydanus again.’ Livianna burrowed into her grandson’s belly with her nose and made chomping noises. The child squealed and squirmed in his grandmother’s arms.
‘He has his own estate on the northern coast. It’s hard for him to get away now that the Durotriges have accepted him again. The fact that he remained with the Roman army after Claudius invaded took a great deal for the people to get over. But the new governor, Agricola, is not to be trifled with the tribes are finding. So having the Romanised Darvyd as their leader puts them in good standing with him. Agricola can focus on his efforts in subduing the tribes to the north, rather than keeping too close an eye on the Durotriges activities to the south west of the island.’
‘I’m sure,’ Livianna said with little interest. To her the Britons were all barbarians, their issues not worth taking the time to consider. Darvydanus, as an ex-centurion citizen, and Allyn, his Romanised son, were exceptions. Rome had civilised them both. She tried not to think about Allyn’s life as a slave, nor the fact that her daughter consorted with the Nubian, Nexus, while he was a slave. It was like imagining her daughter rutting with an animal. That Nexus had turned out to be one of the most intelligent, loyal and capable men she had ever met didn’t take away from the fact that he had been a slave before she gave him his freedom and citizenship.
‘What happened to Nexus?’ Livianna asked as she cuddled her grandson closer. This child would someday be one of the wealthiest men in the Empire, with the power of two paterfamiliases his by birth. Livianna hoped that by the time he reached majority Livia would have encouraged Lucius to go to Rome and take up a position of power there, rather than staying in these backwaters. But there was a long time until that eventuality. She must try to focus on the present.
‘Nexus is here. Well, he is in Durnonovaria Township. He returned from Africa nine months ago and took Niobe’s death very badly. I’m worried sick about him, to be honest. He’s drinking himself to death. I can hardly believe he’s the same man who helped save me from Festus.’
‘He loved her then, obviously. It is not easy to deal with lost love.’ Titus stroked the side of his wife’s face. Livianna knew that he was thinking of the five years he’d lost her when she’d been married off to an old man. It had broken his heart. He’d told her more than once that he wouldn’t have survived if he hadn’t been able to hold onto the hope that they’d one day find a way to be together. And they had, but at the loss of her beloved daughter.
‘No, it isn’t. I’m still trying to come to terms with her death myself. It was so sudden. And when Nexus returned, it brought it all back, as if it happened yesterday. I feel his grief as well as my own. I don’t know what to do…’ Livia’s voice wobbled as tears formed in her eyes.
‘He’ll get over it. Nexus is one of the strongest men I’ve ever known.’ Livianna took the chance to place a comforting hand on her daughter’s arm. She was pleased when the young matron didn’t pull away.
‘I’m not sure he will. He’s lost his direction in life. He’s rudderless. I hoped he’d take over the management of this estate, but I can’t get him to even think about it.’
Livianna tightened her grip on her daughter’s arm as an idea struck her. ‘What if he had another mission? He needs someone to save. Someone to focus on besides himself.’
Titus looked at her in dawning realisation. ‘You mean Papia and Galeria?’
‘That’s exactly who I mean. It would be a great weight off my shoulders to know they were safe and it might be just what Nexus needs to drag him out of his doldrums.’
‘What are you talking about, Mater?’ This time she used the term with more confidence.
‘Before you were born your father had a very good friend named Galerius Donicus, a Stoic teacher. His wife Papia was expecting her first child at the same time as I was expecting you. She was a few years older than me and had been married for several years by then, but our shared bond of motherhood brought us together. She was very good to me when Cyrianus took you, even though her husband’s loyalty was to his friend. We stayed friends for some years. Then, when they left Rome for Rhodos about the time Vespasian decided to purge the city of philosophers, we stayed in contact by missive. You used to play with her daughter Galeria when you were little.’
Livia frowned and then nodded. ‘Father spoke of Donicus often. He was younger than father but they’d both trained under the same Stoic master – Attalus, if I remember rightly. Did I really play with his daughter? I have no memory of that and Father never mentioned it.’
‘No, he wouldn’t would he? That might remind you what a good life he’d taken you away from,’ Livianna said bitterly.
‘Please, Mater, I know you hold a severe grievance against Pater, but he truly thought he was doing what was right. And in his own way he loved me.’
‘He beat you and brought you up in a hovel. Then he married you to a murdering child-torturer who caused you great harm.’
‘Yes, but if he hadn’t I would never have met Allyn and you wouldn’t have recognised him as Darvyd’s son. He would have remained a slave his whole life. Any amou
nt of pain was worth that.’
Livianna grunted and kissed the cheek of the now drowsy child in her arms. His chubby cheeks were apple red in the chilly air, his cupid bow lips slightly pouted, as if unhappy that he was losing the attention of his new grandmother.
‘I’m glad you can see it that way. For me, it was thirteen years of misery not knowing if you had lived or died. Then the trauma of finding you in the clutches of that depraved villain. No, not even for you, my dear, can I let go of my hatred. I’ll carry it until the day I die because I can never get back those lost years.’
For a moment, they all stared silently out at the valley. Then Livia picked up the conversation again. ‘So what do you mean about a mission that involves Papia and Galeria?’
‘Domitian has been secretly sourcing any dissent in the Empire. Before we left Rome just under a month ago, Titus happened to see a secret list of suspect philosophers and teachers that was being compiled. Donicus was on that list. Now we don’t know if Domitian really means to follow through on executing the men on that list, or whether he will simply have them watched. But I’m worried that Papia, Galeria and little Galerianna may be in danger if something happens to Donicus.’
‘So you think we should send Nexus to warn them? Any messenger could do that.’
‘Not just warn. Take them safely into hiding until the situation improves. His skills of persuasion would be needed, as would his ability to assess the situation and the danger. I might send Cor Leonis with him. Nexus could train him and make sure the slave doesn’t bolt.’
