by Natavia
Gary rubs Raja hand and I can see it was bothering him that Raja is in that condition. He gets on my nerves and I really don’t like the nigga but he’s cool people.
Tee-Tee sits on the opposite side rubbing her eyes, as she kisses Raja’s cheek.
“She will be good! She just has to stay in here for a few days. She had a seizure so she is going to be out for a bit!” I say.
“Oh my Roland, is she okay?” A white midget comes barging into the room.
“I had enough of this foolery! What the fuck is this? Why are y’all walking up in here?” Gary asks. Then another one comes in and she is mixed so I know that has to be Raja’s little sister.
Gary pushes the button on the wall for the nurses. They come rushing in. Corey shakes his head and Tee-Tee has a surprised look on her face. It’s not every day that you see a midget family.
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” They ask checking her vitals.
“Yes, it is but I’m filing a complaint! This hospital is filthy and I want her to be moved to a cleaner room. I saw three fucking roaches and one white one! White roaches are a sign of filth,” Gary says to them.
“Sir,” she starts saying.
“No it’s your highness! Thank you very much! Now, you either get an exterminator on the phone or else I will raise hell! I’m done talking to you, carry on,” he says to her and she just looks at him.
“Hunnnttyyyyyyyy, I’m not in a good mood today! A diva is down and I’m not too happy about that! Do not test me!” Gary says fussing with them and the two nurses practically run out of the room.
“I don’t see any roaches dear? Do you?” Roland’s wife asked him.
“Where the fuck is Joe? Can someone get that nasty fucker on the phone and tell him that his roaches are out of his apartment!” Gary says.
“Oh yeah! I like that movie Joe’s apartment!” Raja’s sister says.
“Ewwww! And it talks!” Gary says shivering.
“Corey and I are leaving! Please let me know when she wakes up. We are going to the mall so we will still be in the area!” Tee-Tee says walking out.
“Yo, Raja’s little sister got a big ass! Look at her eyeing me! I swear if I wasn’t engaged I would fuck the shit out of her little sexy ass! She looks like a midget version of Alicia Keys my nigga!” he says. Raja’s sister was looking at Corey blushing.
“Nigga you wild! I will hit you up later!” I tell him then he walks out.
This is going to be a long day!
Raja
I wake up to Cam’s voice and a few others. My head is pounding and I look around the room.
“Rico! Rico!” I say panicking.
“I’m right here!” he says to me. The sound of his voice calms me.
“I love you, Rico!” I say still out of it as I dosed in and out.
“Where is Zy?” I ask him.
“He right here! Zy, mama awake! You see!” Rico says putting Zy over my bed rails as I squeezed his small fingers.
“I want to sit up! Can someone put the head of my bed up!” I say.
Rico presses the button and now I’m facing everyone. I have a room full of people with balloons, flowers and cards everywhere.
Someone catches my eye. “Daddy!” I say not believing he is here.
“Yes, sweet pea, daddy is here!” he says. He scoots a chair up then Royal picks him up standing him up in it so he can talk to me.
“Thank you young man!” my daddy says to him. I’m sure he and Cam are the only ones that were kind to him. Oh God, where is Tataliscious? I will cry if he met my daddy! That’s one person I would never want to meet my father.
“Oh, yessssss hunty, I’m here!” Tataliscious says from across the room and all of a sudden I get nervous as he watches me like a hawk. He read my mind.
“How are you feeling? Did your boyfriend beat you up? He seems a little thuggish!” he whispers and I giggle.
“No, someone hit me a few times with a big can of string beans!” I say.
“Where is my mama?” I ask.
“She is coming back; she just went home to change. You’ve been sleep since yesterday,” he says.
“Cam, can you pass me that cup of water that’s on my table please?” I ask her.
“Cam, be careful with that water! They multiply remember!” Tataliscious says.
“What is he talking about?” I ask Cam.
“Nothing girl!” she says and everyone starts snickering.
“I met my grandson. He is a very handsome little boy! He takes after his grand pop!” he says.
“Bullshit!” Tataliscious sneezes then clears his throat. “I’m sorry I’m allergic to roaches and I just saw one run across the floor! Please don’t mind me!” he says crossing his legs, slinging his hair.
“We are going to let them talk,” Rico says then everybody leaves out the room. Tataliscious puts a can of roach spray on my table. “You will need this! It’s some big ass roaches in here! They have white ones too! You know the white ones fly!” he says switching out the room, slinging his hair. I hope like hell I don’t see any roaches!
My daddy grabs my hand with his short, stubby crooked fingers. “I’m so sorry honey bee! I didn’t mean to leave you! It’s just that your mama and I are so different and I wasn’t happy!” he says sadly.
“So are you and Diane!” I tell him.
“Different in color but not in condition! I’m not enough man for your mama! I had to find a woman that I didn’t have to look up to or worry about her tripping over me! I’ve been trying to reach out to you all of these years and you shut me out,” he says.
“I blamed you for Kamara’s death! If you wouldn’t have left, mama wouldn’t have been struggling! If you was there mama wouldn’t had let that nigga into our house! She wouldn’t have had to depend on him!” I say then my mama walks into the room.
“Raja, what are you talking about?” she asks me.
“You letting Greg beat my sister ass and not doing anything!” I say with tears in my eyes.
“Who is Greg?” she asked me.
“The guy that killed my sister!” I cry. This is what I hated about my mama! She is in denial.
“Raja, please don’t start this again! There was never a Greg,” she says.
“No, there wasn’t! I keep telling you that! Kemira was killed in a drive by shooting! You fell and hit your head and it started bleeding! She tried getting you to the hospital and bullets came through our window. She fell on top of you and I guess you must have blacked out! You woke up and our next door neighbor Greg came in to help y’all. Bengy, your sister’s boyfriend, was the target. He was walking into our house when they started shooting at him! When you hit your head you suffered from memory loss. You don’t remember anything, Raja from the age of ten! Everything you think that happened is your imagination!” she says with tears in her eyes.
“We have even gotten you help. They said that since your daddy left you came up with an illusion that everything that happened in your life was his fault. You don’t remember what happened that day,” she says.
“You don’t remember anything from that day to the prior years! When you woke up from that concussion you became a different person! You were born again that day! Do you even know who Lace is?” she asked me.
“My cousin!”
“No, Raja she isn’t your cousin! She is your aunt! She is my little sister! She moved down to South Carolina with my parents when they moved. Lace is a menopause baby! She lets you go by her cousin because she doesn’t want to confuse you!” my mama says.
“This can’t be true!” I say to her.
“It’s true Raja! You been saying this for so long the family goes along with it! But the more we let you the worse it gets! The nightmares are just nightmares! They never happened! All you know is your daddy left. Your sister was killed and Bengy was killed that day! That’s all!” she says.
“I’m confused!” I tell her.
“I know Raja, I know. But just stop blaming
your father,” she says.
Rico comes in. “Is everything okay?” he asks.
“Yes, but Raja needs to talk to you,” my mama tells him.
“Raja, I want you to tell him everything I told you,” she says kissing my forehead getting up. She picks my daddy up from the chair putting him down on the floor. He openly stares at her ass and I’m somewhat disgusted. Throw-up is really about to come and that’s what I do. I throw up everywhere.
Rico rubs my back and he is gagging too. I swear niggas have the weakest stomach. He almost passed out when Zy was born.
“Damn Raja! That’s some nasty shit!” he says with his shirt over his nose. He grabs a basin with soap and water. He took my hospital gown off then trashed it. He washes me up then dries me off. He goes into a bag he must have packed for me.
“Awww, you packed my bag?” I ask.
“Yeah, I did! I knew you were going to have a fit if I didn’t!” he says putting an oversized night shirt over my head.
“Thanks, baby! I’m going to be like Chrissy and Joseline and propose to you one day! Will you marry me if I asked you?” I ask him giggling.
“Yeah I would! But I hope you dump my ass before you do some shit like that! That’s some sucker ass shit right there,” he says.
“Give me a kiss!” I say.
“Hell no! Brush your teeth!” he says to me.
“What happened to you though?” he asks me.
“Fashion attacked me from the back! That bitch whipped my ass, I’m not going to even lie! She tore my head up with that can! I give her that but I already got the prize!” I tell him.
“Y’all even that’s all! You whipped her ass when she came to my hospital room! I mean tore that ass up,” he boosted making me feel better.
“But I’m mad as fuck though! That was some sucker shit she did though!” he says rubbing lotion into my skin.
“I’m going to let karma handle that! I’m tired of fighting! I just want to be happy,” I tell him.
“Me too shorty! I put in an application for a job! I mean a real one!” he says laughing. Rico think I didn’t know he was doing illegal shit.
“Really? Where?” I ask him.
“With this home improvement company! They said my resume was good and they are just waiting on my criminal background. My record clean though! I’m lucky for that shit! I was going to surprise you with it though,” he says smiling.
“Awwww shit, Rico! I’m so happy! I’m going to buy you a new tool-box and one of those leather pouches the guys wear around their waists with their tools in it!” I say excitedly.
He kisses my forehead. “What your mama want you to tell me?” he asked me.
“Who cares? Nothing important! I’m just happy that my pops came to see me, my man getting a real job and I’m alive!” I say.
Fashion
I have a court date coming up for hitting that bitch with that can. That’s what her ass gets! I’m sick of her mouth. I want to know if she actually goes through with pressing charges. I go into my room and pull my mattress up. When I get overwhelmed and stressed I write in my journal. I haven’t written in weeks though. I feel under and it my journal is gone.
“What the fuck!” I scream flipping my mattress over.
“Looking for this?” the voice says behind me.
“How did you get in?” I ask Rico and he laughs.
“Don’t worry about all that Fashion! Question is, are you looking for this?” he asks me.
“How did you get it?” I ask.
“Don’t worry about that! Have a seat!” he says to me.
“HAVE A FUCKING SEAT!” he says to me. I sit down on my box spring and he leans against the door frame. He sparks a blunt then smokes it.
“You know I loved you right? I wasn’t in love with you but a nigga was feeling a little soft for you and shit!” he says blowing smoke out.
“You know what I love more though? I love my seeds and I love my shorty to DEATH! So, can you imagine how I feel when someone fucks with both?” he asks me. I was speechless. He walks over to me grabbing my face smashing his blunt in my cheek and I scream.
“That shit hurt doesn’t it? You killed my son!” he says back handing me in the mouth. I taste blood on my tongue.
“For weeks I thought of ways on how I was going to kill you! But for some reason I can’t! Believe it or not your life is more valuable than my own fucking mama’s! Why couldn’t you just give him to me? It would’ve complicated my life a little more but he would be alive!” he says.
“You didn’t fucking love him! It was always about Raja and Zy!” I scream.
“I did love him! You knew it too! That’s why you really did it! You wanted to hurt me! You did hurt me! You really fucking did!” he says as his eyes turn red.
“Then you pregnant with my seed now! I know all about it! You were always a dumb bitch though! You incriminated yourself writing in this bullshit!” he says throwing it at me. It hits me in the face.
“I’m not going to hurt you! I’m trying to turn my life over! All I want you to do is give me my seed when you have it. Either that or mysteriously, copies of that shit admitting to how you killed our son will end up at the police station. Then you will be forced to give me the baby! Everyone will know what you did and those bitches in county don’t play with baby killers! So, what we doing?” he ask me.
“You want that bitch to raise my child? She knows all about it too! I thought maybe it’s because of my stomach she told me to take care of her stepchild. But she is plotting with you to take my damn baby?” I asked.
“It is her step child! I’m marrying her one day! But fuck all that! Do we have a deal or not?” he asks me.
“What if I just get an abortion?” I asked him.
“You can do that too!” he says nonchalantly.
“Do you even care about us?” I asked him and he laughs.
“Truthfully, I don’t care about you period! You see the shit you have done? I honestly don’t care about that baby neither until he or she is born!” he says looking at me. His hazel eyes pierce through me and I can see the hate he has for me.
“Get the fuck out!” I tell him.
“Just remember whatever choice you make doesn’t matter to me! Either way you still going to be lonely and childless!” he says walking out of the door. I throw my vase at the door and it misses him as he leaves out. I dropped down to the floor rocking back and forth sobbing because I know I lost him for good! Lannie walks through the door.
“I just saw Rico leave! Are you okay! Why is your lip bleeding?” she asked me.
“How did Rico get my book?” I asked her.
“I don’t know!” she lies.
“You are my flesh and blood and you snitched on me! You turned him against me! He is the only one I’m supposed to be with! He is the only one who is supposed to have my body! How could you do this to me?” I asked getting up. She starts crying.
“I’m soo sorry! I just didn’t want you to kill another baby!” she screams at me. I go in the kitchen grabbing a butcher knife. She tries making a run for it but I catch her jabbing the knife in her back repeatedly.
“Now, you know what getting stabbed in the back feels like!” I say and she just falls on the floor. I go into the medicine cabinet in the bathroom grabbing my razor. I strips down naked then run my bath water. I let it fill to the top then climbed in. Ciara’s song “I bet” plays in my head and tears fall down my eyes. Memories filled in my head of Rico and me. From the first time he approached to time he took my virginity. The day I held my son after he was first born and I loved him so much. But that love turned sour. I loved Rico so much and all he did was hurt me! I was there for him! I was the shoulder he leaned on and he runs to another bitch. Tears falls out of my eyes as I took the razor digging dip into my wrist slitting it. I did the same with the other one as I watched the water turn red with my blood. The more I bled the more the pain eased away from me. My life was slipping away. I slide all the way down in th
e tub, until I was under the water and hummed the last part at the very end of Ciara’s song, “All I wanted was you!” as my life slipped away…
Tarae
I haven’t talked to Lace in a week. A whole damn week! When I went to go see Raja at the hospital she didn’t say shit to me. She didn’t even look at me. I’m not going to lie, I was mad as fuck. Monae’s Mr. Clean shiny head ass didn’t even suck my dick right! Tessa paid for my car to get fixed and she finally left me alone. I pull up to Lace's job. She should be walking out in a few minutes.
I waited until she finally came out the door. I get out the car, “What do you want?” she asks me.
“Let’s go and get some dinner so we can talk!” I tell her and she rolls her eyes.
“From Secures! That’s your favorite spot!” I tell her.
“Umpphhh, that sounds good right about now and a nice cup of Sake,” she says opening up my door, getting in. She puts her head phones in her ears from her iPod.
