by Donald Wells
When he’s thirty feet away, the morning glare filtering through the foliage is diffused by a different angle and he can see that the child possesses a mane of red hair.
She has not heard his approach over the sound of the crashing sea, and so is greatly startled when Jason softly says, “Hello,”
The little girl turns and looks up at him with frightened eyes, and now it is Jason’s turn to be startled.
He has always believed it to be a physical impossibility for anyone to possess eyes as blue, or bluer, than those of one Lindsay Parker Reynolds. Lindsay’s eyes are by far the most astonishingly blue eyes he has ever beheld on anyone, until now. This girl’s eyes are the very essence of blue.
The little girl is sidling off the bench and away from Jason when he speaks again.
“It’s okay honey. I just came over to say hello. My name is Jason, what’s yours?”
The little girl stops moving away and sits on the edge of the bench. She’s dressed in jeans, red sneakers and a thick, white turtleneck sweater.
She stares up at Jason and for a moment says nothing, then, evidently coming to a judgment about him, she answers.
“My name’s Jenny.”
“It’s nice to meet you Jenny, I’m Jason. I live here.”
“I was just looking at the water; I wasn’t going to hurt anything.”
“Of course you weren’t honey, I’m sure you’re a good little girl.”
Jenny smiles, and it is so much like the innocent smile of Simona that it breaks his heart.
She moves over and takes his right hand. “What’s wrong Jason?”
Such a tiny hand, so like Simona’s. “I’m fine honey. I had a sad thought, that’s all.”
“Sit here.” Jenny commands him, patting the spot next to her on the bench. Jason sits to her left, and Jenny, still holding his hand, looks out at the water.
“You can see plenty of boats from up here.”
“I know Jenny. I used to sit here a lot.”
Jenny stares at him, then, after suddenly stretching up, she gives Jason a quick kiss on the lips.
Jason is surprised by her affection. “Why thank you,”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“I have a wife, her name is Lindsay.”
“Oh, then I can be your girlfriend.”
“That would make me a very lucky man Jenny.”
“I want you to call me Jennifer, Jason, only you.”
Jason smiles, “I’d be honored Jennifer.”
“I thought nobody lived here, but all of a sudden everything got new.”
“Lindsay and I were away for a time, now we’re back to stay.”
Jenny turns and straddles the bench, her little legs, too short to touch the ground, swing happily back and forth, then, something catches her eye, and she points, while crying out.
“Look Jason, an angel!”
Coming toward them in the dabbled sunlight filtering through the trees, is a white shape with a golden halo.
As the shape draws closer, Jason realizes it’s Lindsay, wearing a pure white linen nightgown, her blond hair flowing around her in the soft morning breeze.
“Is she an angel Jason?”
“I have always thought so honey.”
Lindsay walks over. “Here you are Boomer and I see you’ve got a friend.”
“Who’s Boomer?” Jenny asks.
“Jason is Boomer. It’s my pet name for him. I’m Lindsay, and what’s your name sweetie?”
“I’m Jenny. You’re so pretty, I thought you were an angel.”
“Thank you honey but you’re the little angel. Jason have you ever seen such blue eyes?”
“Not since you,” Jason says.
“Oh she’s got mine beat, they’re startling, and she reminds me of, of…”
And here, Lindsay breaks down.
Jenny is taken aback by Lindsay’s crying and gets off the bench and goes to her, pulling gently on Lindsay’s nightgown. “Please don’t cry, it’s okay.”
Lindsay gains control and looks over at Jason.
“I know.” He tells her. “I nearly broke down too.”
Lindsay sits on the bench, with her back to the ocean, and looks at Jenny’s frightened face.
“I’m okay honey, our little girl died last year and I still miss her so much. I didn’t mean to scare you; you’re just so pretty that I started thinking of her.”
“I’ll be your little girl Lindsay.” Jenny says. “You call me Little Girl and Jason can call me Jennifer.”
Lindsay smiles at Jenny and gives her a hug. “I think I’d like that Little Girl.”
“Jenny, oh excuse me, Jennifer, where do you live honey?” Jason asks.
Jenny points at the pine trees. “Right down there through the woods.”
“Your mommy is probably wondering where you are sweetie.” Lindsay says.
Jenny simply shakes her head no.
“Well, Jason and I are going into the house now. I want you to come back and visit anytime you want, okay?”
Jenny says, “Okay Lindsay, bye bye Jason.” and ambles off toward the trees, while singing a little song to herself.
“Goodbye Jennifer.” Jason waves.
Lindsay calls to her. “Little Girl!”
“Yes?”
“What’s your name, your last name honey?”
“Stern, I’m Jenny Stern, bye.”
Jenny then turns and disappears among the pines.
33
“How the hell did Derek get custody of that little girl?”
“Jason, she’s his.” Paul answers. “His name is on the birth certificate as the father.”
They’re sitting in the living room of the cabin after dinner. Jason and Lindsay are on the new sofa, a large white oasis of comfort that faces the fireplace, while Paul and Simone sit to their right on one of the matching love seats. Paul Jr. is with Simone’s parents.
“What about her mother? Who is she?” Lindsay asks.
“Jenny’s mother was a Cindy Banks; she died last year of a drug overdose, heroin I think. After that, Jenny was sent to a foster home until the State of Pennsylvania contacted Derek.” As Paul talks, he strokes his mustache, whiskers grown while Jason and Lindsay were away.
“She’s been living here for almost a year now.” Simone says. “My guess is that Jenny’s basically raising herself. Paul and I feel sorry for her also guys, but what can you do? She’s his. You know, it might be a good idea if you guys stayed away from Jenny as much as possible, it might be… healthier.”
“What are you saying? You think we would try and replace Simona with Jenny?”
“Not intentionally Lindsay, but yes, almost as an emotional reflex, it would be natural.”
Jason straightens in his seat. “I just realized something. Jennifer is Simona’s half-sister.”
“You’re right, I hadn’t thought of that.” Lindsay says.
“This is why I say you should keep your distance. I think in the end, a relationship with her would only cause you pain. I don’t think Paul or I could bear to see you guys in any more pain.”
“Thank you Dr. Martinez.” Lindsay says. “I think we should take your advice, which is now your professional advice. Simone, have we congratulated you? Congratulations Dr. Martinez.”
“Thanks.” Simone says. “But I still have my residency to get through.” She then shakes her head and smiles. “God, I’ve missed you two so much, and I love you both.”
“I missed you too Simone, you’re my best friend and I love you.” Lindsay says.
The two women rise and hug each other fiercely, making little sounds and giving each other small pecks on the cheek.
Jason and Paul look at each other and smile. Both men knowing that in their case, physical expression is neither needed nor shunned to convey how each feels about the other. They have been brothers more than friends and each man knows the other would readily risk life or limb if needed, and the knowing is enough.
Lindsay and
Simone separate, while wiping tears from their eyes. Simone sits next to Jason and tells him that she loves him.
Jason hugs her. “I love you too Simone.”
He watches Paul and Lindsay sharing a similar embrace as he realizes he’s crying, when Paul and Lindsay separate, he sees that his tough cop friend is also shedding tears.
“I promised myself that if you ever returned I would make sure you knew how much I love you two. I thank God you survived.”
“Simone, Jason and I are going to do more than survive; we’re going to build a new life.”
“You two love each other enough to get through anything Lind, God knows you’ve been tested now.”
“Amen.” Paul says.
“Speaking of new starts, tomorrow Lindsay and I are going to tackle the cottage; it’s time we got back to work.” Jason says.
“Sometimes work is the best medicine.” Paul says.
Jason nods. “If that’s true, we’re about to get a booster shot.”
* * *
They spend the following day in the cottage, getting it cleaned and organized for work. At three-thirty the door opens and in walks Jenny.
She looks around at the paintings and sketches, “oohing” and “aahing” at everything. Jason and Lindsay smile when they see her.
“Hi guys.” Jenny runs over and hugs Lindsay. “Jason come here,” She calls.
Jason grins and walks over. When he’s a few feet away, Jenny jumps up into his arms. Jason instinctively catches the little girl, who now smothers him with big wet kisses.
“Whoa Jennifer, you’re going to make Lindsay jealous.”
“You’re not jealous are you Lindsay? Jason’s my boyfriend.”
“Well honey, Jason’s already married to me so he can’t have a girlfriend.”
“But father’s got lots of girlfriends and he’s married to Emily.”
Lindsay doesn’t know what to say. She looks at the little girl in Jason’s arms and kisses her on the cheek.
“Jenny, Jason and I have a different kind of marriage than your father and Emily do. He can’t have any girlfriends and I can’t have any boyfriends. That’s how we do it.”
Jenny looks as if she’s about to cry, as she releases Jason and slides to the floor. She stands there with her bottom lip poked out, dejected.
Lindsay is unable to bear the fact that she’s made the little girl sad and winks at Jason.
“Boomer, I was thinking of letting you have one special girlfriend, can you think of anyone?”
Jenny smiles up at him. “Pick me Jason. I want to be your girlfriend.”
Jason looks thoughtful for a moment as he rubs his chin. “Well, there is that girl at the bank, but okay, Jennifer’s my girlfriend.”
Jenny lights up and gives Lindsay a big hug. “Thanks for sharing Jason, Lindsay.”
Lindsay laughs. “You’re welcome Little Girl.”
Jenny releases Lindsay and continues her exploration of the cottage.
“That was sweet of you Lindsay.”
“What girl at the bank?”
“What?”
“You said you were considering some girl at the bank.”
“I was kidding. I was playing along.”
“Then why the bank?”
“It just popped into my head, that’s all.”
“Jason, I’ll do all the banking from now on, all right?”
“Oh Lindsay stop.”
“Got ya!”
“So you’re not jealous?”
“Of course not, you know I trust you.”
Jason looks over at Jenny. “I don’t know, my new girlfriend’s very cute.”
“Boomer, you do understand this arrangement has a time limitation attached?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that when she turns eighteen you’re no longer her boyfriend.”
Jason grins. “Damn, things would just be getting interesting about then.”
“I know.” Lindsay says, as they both laugh.
“Where did you guys get all of these pictures? I like all of them.” Jenny says.
“Jason drew and painted them honey, he’s an artist.”
Jenny’s eyes boggle and her mouth hangs open. “Jason you did all of these, wow.”
“I’ll paint you someday if you want Jennifer. I only hope I can blend the right shade of blue for those eyes of yours.”
“Boomer I’m hungry, let’s take a break.” Lindsay says.
“Okay honey, Jenny are you hungry? We’ve got fried chicken and corn on the cob.”
“Jason, call me Jennifer.”
“Oh I forgot. Jennifer, let’s go get something to eat.”
Jenny takes their hands and skips along between them, as they head to the house.
Jason whispers to Lindsay. “I’m glad we took Simone’s advice about not getting close to Jennifer.”
Lindsay smiles at this and looks down at the happy little girl skipping between them.
“I’ll take love wherever I find it and worry about the pain later.”
Jason smiles back and into the house the three go.
* * *
Soon, they sit at the kitchen table, talking and eating.
“How old are you Little Girl?” Lindsay asks.
“I’m almost eight.” Jenny says.
“Almost? When is your birthday?”
“Next month,” Jenny says.
They look at each other; Simona would have been eight-years-old next month.
“What day honey, what day is your birthday on?” Jason asks.
“The twentieth, November twentieth,” Jenny says.
“Only one day apart,” Lindsay says to Jason.
“Strange,” Jason says.
“What’s strange Jason?” Jenny asks.
“Our little girl would be eight on the twenty-first, if, if she had lived.”
“You guys miss her a lot, don’t you?”
Lindsay says, “Excuse me.” and rushes from the table.
Jason pardons himself to Jenny and then follows Lindsay to the living room, where she sits on the sofa.
“I’m okay, I thought I was going to cry and I didn’t want to do it in front of Jenny.”
Jason strokes Lindsay’s cheek. “Maybe we should send her home now. Maybe we shouldn’t see her again.”
“No! I’m so tired of being sad and that little girl in there makes me happy. She’s a joy to have around; I only wish she had different parents.”
“I wonder what Derek’s going to do when he finds out she’s spending time here, he’ll probably make her stop coming over.”
Lindsay sighs. “You’re right he will, and there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“Well, there is one thing.”
“What?”
“The tape,”
“The tape?” Lindsay makes a face. “You mean blackmail him into letting Jenny see us?”
“I know; it leaves a bad taste in my mouth too.”
They sit quietly until Lindsay suddenly stands.
“Let’s not worry about tomorrow, let’s just spend time with her now, she’s such a great little girl.”
They return to the kitchen and find Jenny looking through the pantry.
“You guys have everything. Some of these spices I never heard of.”
“Do you like to cook honey?” Lindsay says.
“I used to cook for my mom all the time, she was always too sick to do it.”
“What do you know how to make?” Lindsay asks.
Jenny shrugs. “Everything,”
“Everything?” Jason asks.
“I can read good, so I just follow recipes, then it’s cooked. I’ll make you breakfast sometime.”
“Oh honey, you don’t have to cook for us.” Lindsay says.
“But I love to cook and Marta never lets me, she thinks I’m too little.”
“Do you like Marta honey?” Lindsay asks.
“She’s okay. I like her better than Emily, Emily sleeps a
lot.” Jenny says, followed by. “Do you know my father?”
“Too well,” Jason answers, and then wishes he hadn’t, after all, Derek is her father.
“Jason, don’t you like my father?”
“Well Jennifer, let’s just say your father and I will never be friends.”
“He’s nice to me, he buys me things.”
“Really honey? Derek buys you things? Like what?” Lindsay asks, incredulous.
“All kinds of things, games and dolls, cookbooks, a bike, and he got me out of the foster home; they were mean to me there.” Jenny says, suddenly sad.
“I’m glad you’re here now too.” Lindsay says.
“Marta said father was coming home today, I better go see if he’s here yet.”
Lindsay glances at Jason and, after taking a deep breath, she turns to Jenny.
“Sweetie, we hope to see you again, but Little Girl if your daddy says you can’t visit us we’d have to respect that, and we won’t be able to see you anymore, we’re sorry.”
“You think father won’t let me come over here again, why?”
“Your father doesn’t like us Jennifer.” Jason says.
“Then I won’t tell him I come over here, that’s all.”
“No honey, when you see him tonight, tell him that you visit us and that we don’t mind. If we don’t see you again, we’ll understand.”
“But Lindsay I have to see you and Jason. I love you guys.”
Lindsay gives Jason a soulful look as she fights back tears. “We love you too honey, but you have to listen to your daddy.”
Jenny hugs them both together around the waist. “If father says no, I’ll miss you.”
Jason leans down and kisses Jenny on the forehead. “Goodbye Jennifer.”
Jenny releases them and slowly walks out through the backdoor.
Lindsay looks at Jason and begins to cry, as tears run down her cheeks, her face grows angry.
“Damn Simone for always being right,”
Afterward, she starts laughing and falls into Jason’s waiting arms.
34
Marta is peeling potatoes at the kitchen table in the Stern estate, deftly paring each one while leaving only a long, coiled skin behind. McGee watches her, impressed.
“He’s out there moping around again.” Marta says. “You know, at times I believed he hated Charlotte, but he hasn’t been the same since she died, it’s like he’s lost his spark.”
