by Donald Wells
“How are Jason and Lindsay doing? I haven’t been up to see them yet.”
“They have a haunted look about them, but they’re better than Simone and I expected them to be. I think they did a lot of healing during their world travels.”
“That July Fourth was one of the worst days of my life.” Rollins says. “I cannot even imagine their pain.”
Paul shakes his head sadly. “I know. I get a lump in my throat every time I see Simona’s face in Jason’s mural.”
“I hope you didn’t say anything to them about the Senator, about the investigation?”
“Bob, you know me better than that. As far as everyone knows Charlotte Stern’s murder is closed, although officially we’re still hoping to find Harry’s ‘accomplice.”
“So Jason doesn’t know we suspect Stern committed the murders?”
“No, he’s never given it a thought, not after what happened to Simona.”
Rollins absently stirs his coffee while looking off to a corner of the room.
“I think Jason would kill Stern if he believed he had anything to do with Simona’s death.”
“The last thing Jason and Lindsay need is more trouble.”
“If Stern did plan this like we suspect, he picked the right pawn. Harry Johnson was like a sheep led to the slaughter.”
“But are we ever going to prove it? The D.A. won’t touch Derek without a solid case and most of our evidence against him is easily refuted.”
“He’ll slip up someday, and when he does I’ll be there.”
“Count me in on that too,” Paul says.
36
Jenny’s birthday arrives, and banners and balloons hang from the cabin’s wood-beamed ceilings. She spends Thanksgiving Day with the Reynolds, and by Christmas it feels as if she’s been with them forever.
Jenny lies on the floor near the Christmas tree, peeking at all the colorful boxes. “I don’t see any nametags, which one’s mine?”
“They’re all yours sweetie.” Lindsay says.
Jenny squeaks with excitement and tears into one of the boxes, where she finds a beautiful porcelain doll.
The doll has black hair and dark eyes. Jenny stares at it longingly, thinking back.
“Thank you guys, she’s beautiful. She reminds me of a boy doll my mom gave me, Jo Jo.”
Next, she opens the other five boxes. These contain cookbooks, cooking equipment, and small appliances. She squeals with greater delight as she opens each one.
“Wow, you got me everything I wanted, thank you.”
Jenny goes to the sofa and plops down between them; she then swings around so that her head rests on Lindsay’s lap while her legs rest atop of Jason’s.
She looks up at them. “I love you guys so much.”
Lindsay bends over and kisses Jenny. “Oh honey, we love you too.”
* * *
That night, Lindsay removes her birth control pills from the medicine cabinet and stares at them.
She walks down the hall and enters her old bedroom, and then unlocks the connecting door to Simona’s room.
She wanders among the toys and memories, feeling much pain and immense longing. As she strokes Boomer the Bear, she turns and finds Jason standing behind her, on his face is a bittersweet smile. She takes him by the hand and leads him into their old bedroom. Lindsay pulls back the covers, and after revealing the pills, she drops them into the wastebasket.
Jason kisses her. “Yes, it’s time.”
Lights are extinguished, passion ignited, and they embrace each other in nakedness, while with courage, they embrace the future.
* * *
Winter 1991 finds the fireplaces roaring at the cabin. It’s Sunday morning and Jason and Lindsay are reading the newspaper in the living room. Jenny has been busy in the kitchen and emerges carrying a tray of pastries so light, that they look as if they’ll soon float away.
“Little Girl these are wonderful. Can I have another please?”
“Sure Lindsay, but they’re full of butter, so don’t eat too many or you’ll get fat.” Jenny says.
While looking at Jason, Lindsay says. “That’s okay, I’m eating for two now.”
Jason stares at her. “Are you saying what I hope you’re saying?”
Lindsay places a hand atop her stomach. “Boomer I took a home pregnancy test, and I passed.”
Jason scoops Lindsay up in his arms and twirls her about the room.
“You guys are gonna have a baby? Wow that’s so cool.”
“You’re going to have a little brother or sister running around here soon.” Lindsay says.
Jenny frowns. “I won’t really be their sister, just pretend.”
“The love won’t be pretend honey, they’ll love you like a sister.” Jason says.
Jenny brightens. “You’re right. I’m gonna be a sister, wow!”
“When’s your due date honey?”
“I think about the end of October Boomer, uh, papa Boomer.”
Jason wipes at his eyes. “I didn’t think I could ever be this happy again.”
Lindsay caresses his cheek. “I know, me too.”
“Let’s invite Paul and Simone over for dinner; I can’t wait to see their faces.” Jason says.
“We’re having company? Let me cook dinner.” Jenny says.
“I was going to cook a roast.”
“Lindsay please let me cook it; I got a new recipe I want to try.”
“Oh, but honey you do too much around here.”
“No I don’t, I love you; that makes it easy.”
They hug Jenny together while basking in their newly found bliss.
This time, baby makes four.
37
“Ow, you stuck me with the pin.” Jenny says.
“I’m sorry Little Girl, it’s just that these wings are difficult to attach.”
Jenny stands atop the oak coffee table in the cabin’s living room, while Lindsay puts the finishing touches on her costume for an Easter play. Jenny wears a white ankle-length gown with ballooning sleeves. Her “wings” are made from cardboard and covered in real goose feathers, while her “halo”, gold tinsel wrapped around wire, sparkles above her.
Lindsay and Jenny have spent days sewing stitches and gluing feathers to make the costume.
“I think Marcy likes Jason. I caught her making goo-goo eyes at dinner last night.”
Lindsay smiles at Jenny’s perceptiveness. “Marcy was just being friendly honey.”
“Oh, okay, but she better not try to be his girlfriend, I’m his girlfriend.”
“Yes you are sweetie, ah, there, that’s it. You are now officially an angel.”
Jenny hops off the table and runs to the full-length mirror by the front door. “Ooohhh, I’ll be the best looking angel in the Easter play.”
“It does look pretty good if I say so myself.” Lindsay says.
Jenny hugs Lindsay.
“It’s beautiful, thank you. My teacher might not believe it’s homemade.”
“I made all my own costumes when I acted in high school. It was fun to make one again; in fact, it’s made me realize how much I miss acting.”
From outside, comes the sound of a car horn blaring incessantly. Lindsay and Jenny go out onto the porch and see a car at the gates, a green sports coupe.
“That’s Emily’s car,” Jenny says.
Lindsay reaches inside and pushes the button that activates the gates. Emily speeds in and parks on the cobblestone walkway in front of the cabin’s steps, she shouts as she exits the car, her face, a mask of fury.
“Jenny take off that rag and get in the car!”
“It’s not a rag Emily, it’s my costume, Lindsay made it for me.”
“Go get your clothes, now!”
Jenny looks as if she’s about to cry.
Lindsay tells her, “Do as she says sweetie.” Jenny goes inside to change and Lindsay turns to Emily. “Why are you doing this?”
“That’s my child Lindsay, not yours. If she
needs a costume I’ll buy her one.”
“Mrs. Collins told the kids to make their own costumes, it’s part of the fun of being in a play at her age Emily.”
“Who the hell is Mrs. Collins?”
“She’s Jenny’s teacher.”
“My God, you even know her teacher’s name. Get a life of your own, Jenny’s mine and I’ll—” Emily stops talking and gawks at Lindsay.
“What is it? Why are you staring at me?”
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but I didn’t think I was showing yet.”
“I can tell.” Emily says. “I can always tell when someone’s pregnant.”
“I’m glad, now maybe you’ll realize I’m not trying to steal Jenny away. Spend time with her Emily, she really needs a mother, you two could become—”
Emily hisses. “It’s Derek’s, isn’t it?”
“What?”
“You two are having an affair, aren’t you? How did it start? Were you commiserating over Simona and decided to make another one?”
Lindsay looks Emily up and down with disgust. “Why you sick bitch.”
“You want Derek back, don’t you? That’s why you’re spending so much time with Jenny, isn’t it?”
Before Lindsay can respond, Jenny comes back onto the porch holding her costume.
“Leave that here.”
“But Emily, the play is tomorrow, I need it.”
Emily snatches the costume from Jenny and throws it at Lindsay.
“Say goodbye Jenny, you won’t be coming here anymore.”
Jenny gives Lindsay a stricken look.
Before she next speaks to Emily, Lindsay takes a slow, deep breath.
“Please don’t do this, please let Jenny visit us.”
“No! Stay away from her or I’ll call the police.”
“Lindsay?” Jenny says.
“I’m sorry baby, she’s your parent, you… we, have to do as she says.”
Emily speaks through gritted teeth. “Get in the fucking car Jenny.”
Jenny gets in, with tears falling. “I love you Lindsay, and tell Jason I love him too.”
Emily slams the car door and rockets away like a madwoman, leaving Lindsay to go inside and fall onto the sofa, crying.
* * *
Not long thereafter, Jason returns carrying a pizza and two film rentals.
“Lindsay what’s wrong?”
Lindsay tells him what’s happened. Jason has his left arm around her while with his right hand, he unconsciously caresses her belly, soothing their unborn child.
“Maybe in time she’ll let Jennifer visit again.” Jason says.
“God I hope so, oh that poor little girl.”
They hear the gate bell ring and look out to see the Stern limo, Jason opens the gates and the limo enters. Jenny hops out of the front passenger seat and runs to them in the open doorway.
“What happened? Did Emily change her mind?” Lindsay asks.
“Mr. McGee called father and told him what Emily did. Then he gave Emily the phone and father made her change her mind.”
“McGee called your father? Did you ask him to?” Jason says.
“No, I was too busy crying, he did it himself.”
“I’ll be right back; I want to talk to McGee.”
Jason walks over to the driver’s window, the very sight of the limousine eliciting painful memories, that he pushes aside.
The window lowers, revealing McGee. Jason sticks his hand out and McGee just stares at it; Jason takes it back.
“Jennifer told us what you did, thank you.”
“I did it for the kid, Emily’s a drunk and Derek’s never home.”
“How did Derek change her mind?”
“He threatened to take away her allowance, that includes her booze budget, pissing off you two isn’t worth losing that to her, but you know Reynolds, if I was you I’d be wondering why Derek took your side, he’s not exactly your biggest fan.”
“From everything Jennifer tells us, he actually cares about her, maybe he thinks we’re good for her. I know she’s good for us.”
“Oh, he’s got one condition, no overnights. He said Jenny can spend all day here but she sleeps in her own bed, understand?”
“It’s a deal, tell Derek I said… thank you.”
“That actually hurt, didn’t it?”
“Anything for Jennifer, and thanks again McGee.”
McGee says, “Don’t thank me.” and disappears in a rise of mirrored glass.
Jason watches him drive off, wondering what makes him tick.
“Jason come see my angel costume.” Jenny calls.
Jason breaks free of his conjecture about McGee and goes inside to be with Jenny.
* * *
Jenny returns home that evening and notices a light on in the office. Derek is home. He’s slouched on the black leather couch, watching TV, on an end table is a vial of cocaine and a bottle of Scotch.
Jenny runs over and hugs him. “Father!” She looks at the table. “What’s that powder?”
“Just something for grown-ups dear,”
“Thanks for talking to Emily; I’d miss Lindsay and Jason so much if I couldn’t see them.”
Derek looks back at Jenny with dilated pupils and smiles. “Jenny, go lock the door.” Jenny does as he says, when she returns Derek pats his knee. “Give father a grown-up kiss.”
Jenny climbs onto his lap and Derek kisses her on the mouth deeply.
“What’s that you have there, is that your costume?”
“Yes father.”
“Let me see you in it dear.”
“Okay,” Jenny heads toward the bathroom to change and Derek calls her back.
“Jenny, change here where father can see you,”
“Here?”
“Yes dear, father loves you and wants to see his pretty girl.”
Jenny uses the costume to hide behind and undresses with the skill of a fan dancer. When she’s only wearing her underwear, Derek calls her over.
He takes the costume from her and lays it on the couch; he then places Jenny on his lap.
“Father wants another grown-up kiss.”
“I feel funny not being dressed.”
Derek runs a hand over her legs slowly. “Never feel bad about letting me see you naked Jenny, fathers and daughters should be very close. Does Jason kiss you like I do?”
“No.”
“Of course not, because he knows that only your father should kiss you that way and only your father should see you naked. Jenny take off the rest of your clothes.”
“Do I have to?”
“No, you never have to do anything you don’t want to. Father only wanted to see his pretty little girl. Maybe Emily was right; maybe you do need to spend more time at home.”
“Why?”
“A good girl does what her father asks her to do. Maybe Jason and Lindsay are a bad influence on you.”
Jenny glances about the room the way a captive bird might glance about its cage, she then slides off Derek’s lap.
“No, they aren’t bad for me. I’ll be a good girl.” She slowly removes her underwear and stands before him naked.
“Come give Father a kiss.” Derek says. Jenny sits on his lap and he kisses her, holding her naked form. “That’s a good girl, now get dressed.”
“I can still see Lindsay and Jason?” Jenny asks, while dressing.
“Of course, as long as you’re a good girl, and obey your father.”
“I’ll be a good girl.”
Derek watches her while she dresses. “Yes Jenny, you’re going to be a very good girl.”
“Father did you know that Lindsay’s going to have a baby? Isn’t that great?”
“She’s pregnant?” Derek whispers.
“Yes and they’re so happy, they used to be so sad after losing their other baby, Simona.”
Derek suddenly takes her by the wrist. “If something happened to this one Jenny, I think that would kill them.
”
Jenny stares at him, startled by the comment. “Nothing will happen.”
Derek takes a hundred-dollar bill from his wallet. “I didn’t get a chance to buy you a gift, but a big girl like yourself can buy her own gifts, this is for you.”
Jenny hugs him. “Wow, thanks.”
“Remember Jenny, father loves you more than anyone. Now go to bed, it’s getting late.”
“Are you coming to see the play tomorrow?”
“I’m afraid not dear, father’s busy.”
“Oh, well Lindsay’s taking pictures; I’ll show them to you.”
“That would be nice, goodnight, and remember, what we do in this room is only for us, father and daughter.”
“Okay, goodnight.” Jenny gathers her costume, and then unlocks the door and leaves, closing it behind her.
Moments later, Derek picks up the bottle of Scotch and fills a tumbler. He mutters, “Fucking pregnant,” and hurls the bottle through the TV screen.
* * *
The summer of 1991 finds Lindsay entering her third trimester and finishing her latest novel. Jason is also doing well in his career as his popularity and acclaim as a representational artist grows. All of Jason’s lithographs sold and he’s about to release a second series.
Jenny is out of school until fall and basically living at the Reynolds. Today, she’s gone off to New York City to see a Broadway play with her “grandparents,” Adam and Marjorie.
Lindsay and Simone walk barefoot at the shoreline of the cabin’s beach. Lindsay strolls slowly, enjoying the feel of the cool, wet sand beneath her feet. They walk along in silence and look off into the distance at some brave soul parasailing against the backdrop of a bright, seemingly endless, blue sky.
“Kathy Rollins had her baby last night, a girl. They named her Emma, after Bob’s mother.” Simone says.
“Bob must be in heaven.” Lindsay says.
“He is, Paul says he’s never seen him smile so much.”
Again they’re quiet. Lindsay walks with her head down, lost in thought.
“Lindsay, what’s bothering you?”
“You know me too well.” Lindsay tells her friend.
“What is it honey?”
“Simone, all during this pregnancy I’ve felt the same as when I was carrying Simona, I feel Jason all around me, all the time. Maybe, maybe Simona’s paternity test was wrong, maybe the lab made a mistake—or worse. I asked Marcy to do some checking and she discovered that until recently Derek owned the building where the lab is located.”
