by J. A. Saare
I opened the cage—smearing blood along the stainless steel bars—and retrieved the hissing feline. It struggled in my arms and clawed at my face until I held my mangled hand to its mouth.
“You now do my bidding, bound to obey me by blood.”
The cat went at my wound like it would have to cream in its former life. I let it enjoy several licks, waiting until it stopped hissing and calmed before I took my palm away. It was difficult, but I managed to keep the cat under my arm and wrap a towel around my hand, stanching the blood flow. I walked back to Goose and hellish thing possessing him. He had his eyes screwed shut, which told me the fucking thing inside him wasn’t stupid. It knew what I planned to do.
I placed the cat in front of me, grabbed Goose by the hair, and ordered, “Open your eyes.”
The moment the entity complied, it met the stare of the reanimated feline. I released Goose, grasped the furball by the scruff of the neck, and removed the blade at my side. The hilt vibrated in my palm, eager and hungry. Sucker wanted blood but would have to wait. I needed the power it contained for something else at the moment. The instant Goose collapsed, the cat went crazy. In situations like these, you had to trap an entity inside something that was already dead to truly finish it off. The moment it entered the cat, it became trapped in death, not the life it loved to travel to and from.
“See you in Hell,” I whispered and forced the struggling cat to its side. The blood inside the decaying body didn’t appease the blade, so it was cake to remove the cat’s head. The moment it was done, the dark presence I’d felt the moment I entered the house vanished.
It was over.
Thank you God.
I swayed as lightheadedness overcame me and black speckles marred my vision. How long had it been since I was this weak? I knew the answer, even if I wanted to deny it. This afternoon was the first time I’d done anything dangerous without the amulet. At the present moment I was just a necromancer with her normal abilities. Blackness rose to claim me, but I fought it. I shook my head, trying to ward off the danger of slumber.
I toppled forward and landed beside my partner in crime—Ethan McDaniel, AKA Goose: paranormal investigator and the one person I needed to learn to tell no. Blinking rapidly, I tried to stop the world from spinning. This was the thanks I got for agreeing to work part-time with a friend. He’d said it would be a great learning experience, but so far it had been nothing more than a pain in my ass.
I heard the front door open and tried to make it to my feet. Before I could accomplish that, a large set of hands grasped my shoulders and flipped me over. Paine gazed down at me with concern. I would have said something cocky to remove the worry in his expression, but my tongue was too heavy. After he checked Goose’s neck for a pulse, he looked me over, stopped at my haphazardly bandaged hand, and frowned.
“Damn it. I knew you and Ethan should have waited for me. Why don’t you ever listen?”
He sighed, cradled me against his chest, and brought his wrist to his mouth. I wanted to tell him I’d be fine as soon as I got home and used the amulet, but it was useless. After he scored his skin and his blood started to flow, he placed the twin punctures to my lips.
“Don’t make this harder than it has to be. You’ll drink willingly or I’ll force my blood down your throat.”
It had been weeks since I’d taken vampire blood; I didn’t need it when I wore the amulet. The powerful token was enough to heal my wounds and keep me out of harm’s way. Now I didn’t have any other option but to take what Paine offered.
His blood splashed against my tongue, slightly citrusy and sweet. I swallowed until the cuts in my hands started to tingle, signaling his blood was hard at work mending my wounds. He didn’t fuss when I pulled away, which was an added bonus. Paine and I had developed a friendship—perhaps something more—which was amplified by the bond we shared. Since we’d taken each other’s blood, I was able to perceive his anger and worry.
“We’re fine.” I swiped at the remaining blood on my lips. “Goose took a beating, but he’ll be okay.”
“Yeah, you both look fine to me.” His onyx eyes saw far more than I wanted them to, so I quickly looked away. Yes, he was a friend. But the things that had transpired between us complicated matters.
“The entity was tied to the building, so a normal binding circle didn’t work.” I accepted the hand he offered. Once he helped me to my feet, he placed his hands on my hips. “I had to use holy sand.”
When I stumbled, Paine snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest. His face was so close I could feel his cool breath against my nose. We stood together, so temptingly aware of each other. I’d tried to maintain a relationship that didn’t go beyond friendship, and Paine tried to do the same. He knew I was still in love with his best friend—Disco, my former lover, the vampire I was marked by and beholden to, and the man I wanted to forgive despite my inability to do so. However, Paine also knew that he and I had done something together that couldn’t be taken back. Something he couldn’t recall. His future self was nothing like his present one, even if both versions wanted me in the same way.
As if it was preordained, the very vampire I had managed to avoid for weeks stepped into the house and caught Paine and me in a very compromising position. It was the first time I’d seen Disco since he’d invaded my mind without consent, broken my heart and trust in the process, and placed an enormous wall between us. I would have released Paine if the bond with Disco didn’t swamp me, surrounding me in waves of love, fury, and jealousy. It was something I wasn’t accustomed to. Disco usually kept the mark between us closed.
“Get away from her,” Disco growled and strode into the room. He was clothed in his usual black ensemble, making his honey blonde hair all the brighter, his aquamarine eyes more prominent in the dim lighting of the room.
Paine didn’t budge. “She was hurt. I’m waiting for my blood to heal her.”
Disco advanced, using long, catlike strides. It wasn’t fair. A part of me wanted to run into his arms, hold him close, and never let go. Self preservation and terrifying memories made me want to kick him in the nuts and get as far away as possible. When he was within range, he forced Paine aside and reached for me. I couldn’t help my instinctive reaction. I jerked from his touch and took several steps back.
“You have nothing to fear from me. You know that.” I felt Disco’s guilt and realized he’d opened the mark between us so I could sense if he lied. He wanted me to know everything he was feeling, so I was aware his emotions were genuine.
“No, I used to think that. I’m not the stupid woman I once was, and I’m not big on second chances. They usually result in a person being fucked over.” I met his infuriated gaze and didn’t flinch. “I don’t like being fucked over any more than you. We both know the outcome.”
Goose groaned and Disco turned from me. He kneeled beside my fallen partner and rolled him over. Goose was Disco’s familiar too, bound to him by blood. Disco took one look at Goose’s face and his jaw clenched. He didn’t say a word as he mirrored what Paine had done for me—opening a vein at his wrist and pressing it to Goose’s mouth. As soon as Goose started to drink, Disco lifted his head and stared at me again. There was so much pain in his eyes, so much hurt. I was the cause of his misery, but he was the facilitator.
“Tell me what happened.”
It wasn’t a request, so I sighed and explained the entire ordeal to Disco and Paine. When I finished, they exchanged a brief look.
“The next time you decide to take on a job like this,” Disco said, watching me closely, “you will wait for me to accompany you.”
“I already told her that,” Paine muttered.
I folded my arms across my chest. “What do you think you could’ve done? The thing wasn’t a ghost, and it was only vulnerable when it resided in a zombie host. Did you just want to stand around and look pretty?”
Disco moved from Goose and would have stopped directly in front of me if Paine didn’t counter his act
ion and block his path. “Calm down,” Paine said, lowering his voice to a whisper I was sure he didn’t want me to hear. “You’ve waited weeks to see her. Don’t fuck this up because you can’t control your emotions.”
“If you want me to keep my emotions under control, stay away from her.” Disco didn’t bother being discreet. As he spoke to Paine, he looked directly at me.
Talk about a reunion I’d never expected. I understood Disco’s jealousy. When I’d made a trip into the future to sever Disco’s debt with a demon, I never expected to return to my own time. Too many things prevented it—including the fact that Disco was dead in the futuristic version of hell. In the grip of grief, I’d sought to comfort Paine, never believing that I’d see the man I loved again. To my relief and horror, I had learned I could return...only it was too late to turn back the clock and erase the night Paine and I had taken comfort in each other’s arms. Although Paine was aware of what had transpired, technically he was innocent of any wrong doing. Hell, he didn’t even know the specifics of what had occurred between us. Despite his prodding, I’d given him just enough information to get the point across.
Unfortunately, Disco didn’t care about any of that. Unlike his friend, Disco knew everything Paine and I had done together. When he’d taken my memories by force, he’d gotten a ringside seat. He was hurt and infuriated, so much so he’d destroyed the trust between us that he’d taken so much time to nurture. I knew he regretted his actions, because I’d shared his grief and shame after the fact. Still, I was now terrified of the man I loved. It was the strangest thing to hate someone you also cared for so deeply.
“You know I can’t do that.” Paine didn’t look at me when he said it, but I felt how torn he was. We were friends, but Paine wouldn’t be adverse to us taking our friendship beyond a platonic level. “I won’t let you hurt her again.”
I tried to keep my own emotions in check, aware they could sense them. I knew there was tension between Disco and Paine, but I didn’t realize just how much. Suddenly the time I’d spent developing a friendship with Paine while shunning Disco didn’t seem like a very good idea. Disco obviously considered us a couple despite our recent separation. Transgressions of the past were nothing more than a bump in the road, something he felt we would overcome.
“Take Ethan home.” Disco’s voice was softer now. “I won’t hurt her.”
Paine didn’t move or speak for several seconds. Then he moved closer to Disco, until they were chest to chest. “Don’t push her any more than you already have. She saved your life and will eventually suffer for it. She deserves better.”
I considered informing them that I was standing right there until Paine’s words reminded me of my action’s consequences. He’d warned me something awful would happen since I’d fucked with fate. Disco was supposed to die, and I’d prevented it. To keep a balance, I’d have to endure something to teach me the error of my ways. For Paine, it was the loss of a beloved pet that gave him the only companionship he’d known in years. As for me, well, I was still waiting to find out.
Disco nodded and Paine pivoted to me. “I’m only a phone call away. If you need me, don’t hesitate.”
I smiled, but it was forced. “You got it.”
Paine took a step back, bent down, and scooped Goose into his arms. I wanted to shift my feet, move away, or find some reason to leave. Avoiding Disco had been easy when he’d attempted to call me or visited the club. All I had to do was let his calls go to voicemail or duck into the storage room behind the bar. Now there was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Disco remained where he was until Paine exited the house with Goose. It took every bit of my willpower to keep my feet planted as he came closer.
“Forgive me.” I knew Disco would never beg, but those two words came pretty damned close. “I never should have done what I did. I’ve regretted it every single day since you left.”
My heart skipped a beat and I closed my eyes. “I know.”
“Then why haven’t you returned my calls?” He was so close I could smell the tantalizing fragrance of cinnamon and cloves. “Why haven’t you allowed me to make amends?”
I opened my eyes and met his gaze. He’d stopped mere inches away, close enough for me to touch him. There was no chance in hell that I’d tell him I’d listened to every single one of the messages he’d left because I couldn’t deny my need for him. Like a lovesick girl, I’d replayed each voicemail on nights when the loneliness was too much to bear. When I woke from dreams of the times spent in his arms before everything turned to shit, it was his voice I wanted to hear.
I miss you.
I’m sorry.
All I want is another chance.
I’m asking for forgiveness, even if I don’t deserve it.
Call me, Rhiannon. Please.
At times, even if I couldn’t stop myself from picking up the phone and listening to his soft, alluring baritone, I hated myself for it.
“Because I don’t know if I want to,” I said, tearing myself from the memory of his voice and the words I wanted to believe. “I don’t know if I can trust you.”
He started to reach out to me. Then, as if he remembered my previous reaction, he yanked his hand away. “You still think I’m no better than him, don’t you?”
Him being my former foster father. The pedophile had ruined my childhood and destroyed my foster sister. I’d never thought another man could come close to inflicting the harm that Ray had upon me, until Disco used his ability to break every barrier in my mind and force me to relieve every moment I’d endured while living under Ray Shaw’s roof.
“I don’t know what I think.” I stepped past him to start collecting the items Goose had brought into the house.
I’d just grabbed the head and body of the dead cat when Disco asked, “Do you still love me?”
Due to our connection, he already knew the answer. I was aware on some level that he wanted to hear it aloud, to know how I felt with absolute certainty.
“You know I do, but it’s not that simple.” I stood and walked to the cage to place the cat inside.
“Then make it that simple. All you have to do is give me a chance. I’ll never break your trust or hurt you again.”
“That’s the problem. I did give you that chance.” I closed the cage and picked up the bag beside it. Facing him, I hiked the satchel over my shoulder. “You went through all my memories by force. You know everything there is to know about me. I don’t have any secrets anymore. There is nothing that has happened in the past twenty-five years of my life you aren’t aware of. Did you honestly believe it would be as easy as saying you’re sorry? Or did you think because you’re the first man I’ve ever loved it would give you some kind of an advantage?”
“I don’t expect forgiveness to be easy. I’m ready to do whatever it takes. I want you back in my life.” He moved with the speed of his kind and stopped in front of me. “You can’t imagine how much I’ve missed you.”
Probably as much as I’ve missed you. “I need more time.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m afraid circumstances beyond my control have made that impossible.” He exhaled and lowered his hand. “Marius is coming home.”
I blinked at that, caught off guard. Fuckedy, fuck, fuck.
“Marius? As in your sire, Marius?”
“He knows what happened with Graham Tavish. He’s traveling here to get both sides of the story.”
“Both sides of the story? Is he aware that Graham tried to have you killed?”
“He is, and he’s also aware that you killed Graham because of it.” There was no anger or animosity in Disco’s eyes when he looked at me, only love and concern. “You destroyed a half-demon and controlled all of the vampires under his power while you did it. That’s caused quite a stir, Rhiannon. I could only keep it under wraps for so long.”
I tried not to panic. After all, what was done was done. Besides, I wasn’t finished as far as half-demon killing was concerned. “How much does Marius know?
”
“He knows everything, apart from what transpired between us.” When I narrowed my eyes he said, “He’s my maker. I can only keep so many secrets from him.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means we have to come to an understanding. Marius knows how I feel about you, and since you killed a half-demon to save my life, he knows the feeling is mutual.” Disco reached out again and, though I flinched, I allowed him to envelop my elbows with his hands. “He can’t know that a chasm exists between us.”
“Why is that?” My voice betrayed me, my words coming out shaken as a result of his touch.
“The half-demons who exist in the mortal realm want you dead. Marius’s maker is a half-demon, and Marius has convinced him that you acted to defend your master. If Revenald has any reason to believe our relationship is false or your feelings have changed, he’ll view you as a threat.”
I am a threat.
As soon as I came face to face with Victoria Delcroix—Graham Tavish’s half-sister—I planned on sending her to Hell with her brother. If I didn’t, she would try and take over the world and create a future in which humans were nearly extinct.
“What do you need me to do?” It was difficult not to move closer to Disco, to allow his scent and presence to surround me like a comforting child’s blanket.
“Put your trust in me, even if it isn’t there yet. You need to move into my home and show Marius the love we feel for each other isn’t something I created to keep you safe.”
The thought of going anywhere near Disco’s home terrified me. Once I was prepared to throw away my isolated existence and explore something more with him, ready to pack my bags and give our relationship a chance at permanency. All it took was one night in his bed, under his total control, to discover it wasn’t a place I felt safe. I shuddered as I recalled the violation of him forcing himself into my memories.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“You have to.” His breath caressed my mouth, swamping me with a need I had long denied myself.
