by J. A. Saare
I thought he’d go for the gun resting a few feet away, but he didn’t. Instead I found myself running at full-speed toward Victoria. Knocking Dimitri aside, I wrapped one hand around her throat and fisted her hair in the other.
“This is your doing,” I rasped, the tenor unnatural and odd as Disco used my voice to speak. “My only regret is I’m unable to present you with more than death.”
I learned then that breaking someone’s neck wasn’t difficult when you had vampire strength. The bones popped, snapped, and finally cracked. I wondered if Disco was done when I felt myself reaching for Sucker. While I might need to have a vampire on the ground to perform a beheading, Disco had no such problems. One swift arch of my arm and her head was no longer a part of her body.
Disco pivoted around, so that I was facing the vampires in the room. They were no longer wild and bloodthirsty, their hands limp and harmless at their sides. There was trepidation in their gazes, an awareness that Gabriel Trevellian was back and wasn’t taking any more shit. It was amazing, seeing how much power he wielded, how the vampires in the room cowed at his presence.
Shit. They know.
They could feel Disco just as well as I could. I’d been told the infamous Mr. Trevellian was more powerful than I knew, but I was only starting to glimpse how truly stunning my lover was.
“My name is Gabriel Trevellian.” Disco spoke through me, his voice exactly the same even though it came from my mouth. “As the Master of New York, I’m ordering you to take your servants and go. Failure to do so will result in your demise. Make your choice.”
Boy-oh-boy, did they make their choice. The room emptied so fast it made my head spin, the impressions of people rushing by me so quickly I almost swayed. I figured the only reason they walked briskly rather than running was they wanted to salvage some part of their pride. I sagged when Disco left my body, returning control to me. I felt empty without him, incomplete.
“You have to hurry,” he informed me, sounding weak. “I can’t see where I am, but I assume it’s in the basement in the slave quarters. We have to depart before word of what has transpired spreads. Come to me.”
“Jenny,” I whispered, knowing I had to find her. I couldn’t leave her behind.
“What of her?” I felt Disco accessing my memories, filling himself in on what happened. Then I felt his outrage, his fury at what had been done. His tone softened, a sympathetic caress intended to soothe me. “We’ll locate your sister. Focus on one thing at a time.”
Sound advice.
Rushing from the room, I searched for any of the slaves in the home. I found what I was looking for when I left the ballroom behind. Slaves were still on their knees, as though they were waiting for me.
“One of you take me to the basement,” I said quickly, afraid if I didn’t hurry something else would happen and Disco would remained trapped.
A male slave rose and guided me down the hall, past several rooms, and into a kitchen. My feet stopped working, my eyes trying to put some semblance into what I saw. The brain recognized it, but the heart rebelled.
I really shouldn’t have looked at the island in the center of the room.
The young woman I’d seen in the dining area was hacked to pieces. Naked and chopped to all hell, her torso was the biggest part of her left. Her head was facing my direction, her blue eyes dead and covered with a white film. It was an image I’d never get out of my head, one I’d have to live with forever. The only thing I was grateful for was her spirit had crossed over, leaving the shell that was her body behind. Come to think of it, all the spirits in this hell must have done the same, departing when they were given a chance. One blessing in a cesspool of nightmares.
“Here, mistress,” the slave said, yanking me away from the macabre sight.
I never would have seen the panel in the wall if the nude man hadn’t shown me where it was, the wood blending perfectly with the wall. He pushed a circular button disguised by a swirling knot in the surface and the door swooshed inward.
I shoved him aside and surged down the stairs, coming into an area that made me want to vomit. Slave quarters indeed. Metal cages lined the walls, each with a bare mattress and a bucket. I could see a threadbare bathing area at the far end, the tile shower like one you’d see in prison, next to a toilet and sink. I couldn’t see if anyone was in the dark area, but I did spy a shiny metal coffin next to a partially-made hole in the ground.
Disco.
It must have hurt when my knees hit the cold earth, but I was numb to the pain. I searched for a way to open the coffin, running my fingers over the surface. There was a lock on the side, one that had to be broken.
Lifting my head, I gazed around and saw the shovel resting next to the unfinished grave. I scrambled to it, got the tool properly in hand and started slamming the metal end against the silver hinges holding the lock in place. When the top one came loose, I tossed the shovel aside and flipped it around, until I could open the coffin. I grasped the lid, sinking my fingers into the metal, and threw it open.
My heart sank when I saw the silver all over my lover—the way it melted into his skin—and the dried tears of blood on his face. I started ripping the metal away from his arms and throat, tossing them over my back, before I worked on the cuffs on his wrists and ankles and slid the silver ball from his blistered lips. I couldn’t believe he’d managed to display such power earlier in this condition. Since he hadn’t opened his eyes or spoken, I knew he was weaker than he had led me to believe.
Once he was free of silver, I brought my wrist to his mouth. “Drink,” I whispered, pushing my skin against his lips. “Drink, Gabriel.”
Although he didn’t open his eyes, he parted his lips. His tongue stroked the surface of my flesh, wetting it before he struck. I bit my lip, trying not to think about how much it hurt. His first swallow was small, barely a sip, and his eyes opened. I gazed into the blue depths, so fucking grateful I was seeing them again, realizing that Paine had been right and I wouldn’t survive losing Disco a second time.
“I love you so much.” The words were actually weak when I thought about it. I didn’t just love this man, I breathed him like oxygen.
“I love you. More than anyone or anything I’ve ever held dear.”
“Sweet talker.” I couldn’t prevent a smile from spreading across my face. I caressed his hair as he fed, combing my fingers through the silken strands. He started to draw hard on my wrist when I heard a faint whisper, so light I almost didn’t catch it.
“Rhiannon?”
I whipped my head around, recognizing the voice, my smile vanishing.
“Jenny?”
Then I saw her, at the end of the room in one of the silver cells. She was standing, looking at me with a combination of curiosity and confusion. Disco needed more blood, but I still found myself pulling away.
Jennifer was alive. I’d found her.
“Don’t,” Disco murmured and tried to reach for me.
I felt his fingers brush my back before I jumped to my feet and ran toward my sister, longing to touch her, to tell myself she wasn’t a figment of my imagination. When I made it to her cell, I lifted the latch keeping her inside and opened the door. She didn’t move, remaining where she stood.
“Get away from her.” Disco’s voice was a snarl in my head. “Now.”
I didn’t understand why he wanted me to stay away from Jenny. For the first time, she appeared lucid. She was looking at me, not through me. She took a step in my direction, then another. I mirrored her actions, bringing us closer to each other. For years I’d hoped this moment would arrive, that we would be given a second chance to make amends and leave the past behind us.
“Listen to me. Walk out of that cell and close the door.” Disco sounded stronger and angry as hell. “She’s no longer your sister. I have listened to her mind and there is only madness. She has partial memories, but her thoughts are broken. She can’t piece the past and present together. The vampire within is all she knows. She’s gone,
Rhiannon. Your sister is gone.”
I didn’t want to believe him. I couldn’t. Jenny was right in front of me—she was fucking looking at me. She’d even called me by name. That had to count for something. Perhaps becoming a vampire was the reason her thoughts were scrambled, or the fact that she was in a fucking prison in the basement of a murderer’s home. Either excuse worked for me. I’d be a mental mess, too.
Slowly, I lifted my hand, reaching out to her. “Jenny, it’s me.” She blinked several times and shook her head. Working out the cobwebs, I hoped. “That’s right,” I said, wanting her to gain control. “It’s Rhiannon. You’re safe. I promise.”
My heart sank when her eyes narrowed. Her lips pulled back, and she revealed her fangs. Two beats of my heart later and she had my arms in her hands, forcing me against the wall. She was strong—unbelievably strong. More powerful than I thought a newly turned vampire would be. I cried out when she whipped me around and trapped me against the bars of the cell, my shoulder a raging ball of fire as the joint nearly came out of the socket.
“So thirsty,” Jenny hissed and took a deep breath at my throat, nostrils flaring. “Smells so good.”
She lifted her head, meeting my eyes, and I knew Disco was telling the truth. My sister was no longer there. Once hazel irises were now glowing gold, a predatory beast revealed from within. Not just insane, she was an animal now. One who would exist only to eat, sleep, and survive.
Something inside me broke, a permanent scar in my soul.
I howled at the injustice of it. I thought Jenny had been given back to me only to have her taken away. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. Yet it was the tragedy that was my life.
Anger and distress gave me strength. Even though Jenny was a vampire, she didn’t know how to fight. That gave me the advantage when I looped a foot around her ankle, put both hands against her chest and shoved. She didn’t fall but she did stagger, swaying on her feet. As she stared at me, she hissed—a deranged, awful sound I never wanted to hear again. Then she ran in my direction.
I avoided her by stepping to the side, out of her range.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t fight her. I couldn’t harm her. And I could only avoid her for so long. I considered doing as Disco instructed, trapping her inside the cell. But was that fair? Did I really want to leave her behind in this hellhole? And if I didn’t, what alternatives did I have? She was psychotic as a human and a lunatic as a vampire. There was no place for her, no hospital capable of keeping her sedated and under control.
Someone, please help me. I can’t do this alone, I screamed silently, begging once for an easy way out, admitting I wasn’t as strong as I wanted everyone to believe. In truth I was as weak, cowardly, afraid. I’d just managed to do a damn fine job of hiding it.
From the world.
From the friends I kept at a distance.
From myself.
It wasn’t a good time to rehash memories, but I found myself doing it just the same. Each time she came at me, I remembered the good times—of us laughing, sharing secrets, and pretending our lives were different. We’d brush each other’s hair, making up stories of how it would be when we were adults and could make our own choices. Jennifer had wanted to be a counselor, to help children in the same situation we were in. I thought it was a perfect idea, a way for her to reach out to others as she healed herself.
Her clenched fist made solid contact with the side of my head, knocking me off balance. I tried to veer to the side but stumbled over my feet. That gave Jenny just the opportunity she needed. Down we went—her on top and me on bottom. Now different memories arose, of the night when she’d shoved our foster father’s body off me, revealed a knife, and stabbed me repeatedly in the abdomen to end my “suffering.” Then one thing was painfully evident.
She’d had no qualms about killing me then. She had no qualms about killing me now.
As she lowered her face I planted my fist in her nose, the power of the blow limited by my range of motion but enough to keep her fangs away from my throat. Thus began a struggle—my hands at her chin to keep my jugular clear of danger, her fingers clawing at my eyes and cheeks. She snapped at me, a vicious animal determined to break through my defenses. Her irises were becoming red, showing me the beast inside. This couldn’t go on forever. Eventually I’d lose my strength. When that happened, Jenny would win because I didn’t have the heart to end her life.
I couldn’t kill my own sister.
I had no way to defend myself.
“That’s why you have me.”
How long had Disco been listening to my thoughts? In my urgency to get to Jennifer, I realized he’d never left them. He knew everything and, now that I was focusing, I could feel his own remorse and guilt at my grief. He, too, was suffering. The loss of Paine much like the loss of a brother. It hurt him in ways that only I could understand, meaning our emotions blended and blurred, so similar they were nearly identical.
“Forgive me. There’s no other way.”
His large arm looped around Jennifer’s waist, forcing her up and away from me. He fisted a handful of her hair, thrust her head to the side, and buried his fangs in her throat. He drank deeply as she screamed and thrashed, drinking her dry, taking all she had. I cried as I watched, unable to do anything else. I wanted to tell him to stop, to let her go, but there was nothing more I could do for her. Her life was lost. Perhaps it had been from the moment Ray Bradshaw entered it.
So. Unfucking. Fair.
“It’s the most merciful thing,” Disco whispered in my mind, allowing me to sense his guilt, left with no other choice but to drain her until there was no blood left. “Once she’s incapacitated, take her into the sun. She’s a fledgling who’s never fed, so she won’t waken. She’ll feel no pain. I swear it.”
“I can’t kill her.” I shook my head, sickened by the thought. “You can’t ask me to do that.”
“You won’t be killing her. You of all people know that life doesn’t end here,” he reminded me. “You’ll be setting her free, sending her off to a better place.”
I felt him hesitate, as though he was going to block his next thought, but then he shared it. “You said goodbye to Paine, didn’t you? I heard you speaking to him. I know you made him a promise of some kind before he departed this world. Send Jennifer where you guided him, so they can watch over each other. I ask that you make sure my brother-in-blood isn’t alone.”
Disco’s attempt to comfort me worked, clicking in my mind as shock and the desperate need to latch onto something resembling hope took me over. If Paine and Jennifer went to the same place, they’d be able to take care of each other. Maybe they’d even watch out for us on the other side. It was a shard of hope, shining bright in the darkness I’d found myself trapped inside.
Jennifer stopped struggling long before Disco stopped feeding. He lifted his head away, swiped the back of his hand across his lips, and lowered my sister into my arms. I wept silently, although my shoulders shook. My tears dripped onto her face, peppering my grief over her skin. She looked so peaceful like this, an angel among beasts.
“Is she suffering?” If she was, I hoped he’d lie.
“She isn’t aware of anything.” His response was a faint breeze against my ear as he pressed a kiss to the shell. “She is in what we refer to as deep sleep.”
“You’re sure she won’t feel anything? If I take her into the sun she won’t be aware?” I ran my finger over the thin arch of her brow where one of my tears had fallen, the wetness coating my skin.
Disco’s fingers wrapped into the hair at my nape, using enough pressure that I had to lift my head. He was so close to me our noses nearly brushed, his eyes an endless ocean of blue. There was so much love directed at me, the level of emotion so thick it nearly prevented me from breathing.
“I’m positive. There will be no pain.”
He sounded certain, but I needed to know for a fact. I had to make sure she wouldn’t suffer.
“How do you know t
hat?”
“She’s newly turned and vulnerable. Without blood in her body, she’ll remain in a sleep state.” He ran his thumb over my lower lip, a wretched look of torment etched on his face. “I want to stop your hurt so badly, I ache with it. If I could carry this cross for you, I would.”
“But you won’t.” He could overpower my mind and force me to do as he wanted, but he wasn’t going to.
“I’m sorry, but no.” Regret weighed his words, the gravity easy to feel. “If I did, I’d have to wipe the memory clean. You need to be aware of everything that has happened, to remember it all, even the things you’d rather forget. I refuse to have any lies between us, Rhiannon. From this moment forward, we have to share everything. Our survival depends on it.”
“Then start by telling me what you’re keeping from me.” His gaze bolted from my lips to my eyes. I’d caught him off guard. A rarity. “I’m not used to the mark being open between us, but I’m starting to understand it. I know you’re worried about something. Tell me what it is.”
He frowned and lifted his head, staring into the distance. “We can’t go back to the way things were. I refuse to go back to the way things were. My actions have damned not only me, but you as well. We will have to fight for what we want. It’s going to be more than dangerous. Do you understand?”
“Do you mean no more vampire rules to follow? No more fucked up evening dinners to attend?”
His smile was forced, but I basked in it, finding a measure of comfort in the gesture. “For starters.”
“Then I say it’s not so bad to be damned.” I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and moved his hand until my cheek rested in his palm. In turn he reached between me and Jennifer, grasped the leather wrapped around my neck, and removed the amulet.
“When you wear this, I can’t trace you. That’s why I had Paine shadowing you. If we’re going to move around freely, you’re going to have to hand this over. It’s the only way I won’t be detected.”
