Moving fast, Amanda grabbed the phone out of her friend's hand and slammed it down. "No, Jessie, my dad will find out. It was my stupidity. I shouldn't have let him tie me up."
Jessie’s mouth fell open as the implications of what Amanda was saying hit home. "He beat you?" The bruise on her face was bad enough, but obviously it had gone even further.
"I just don't want to be alone. Could you please just sit with me? I'm afraid he'll come back." Forcing her legs to move her back to the couch, she sat down, her face skewed with agony.
"If you won't let me call the police, at least let me call Carolyn." It wasn't the solution she wanted, but maybe she would be able to talk some sense into Amanda.
Amanda’s defeated nod was all the encouragement she needed, and she picked up the phone again. After giving Carolyn a brief description of what was happening and asking her to come over, she rejoined her friend on the couch.
"How badly are you hurt?" Jessie asked If the injuries were serious, she was calling an ambulance, whether Amanda liked it or not.
With a grimace, Amanda lifted her shirt, showing off the red whelps across her abdomen, thighs, and breasts.
Jessie covered her mouth in horror. She couldn't believe someone could do something like this. The wounds didn't seem life-threatening, but she could imagine how painful they were. "Oh my God, what kind of monster would do that?" Her own eyes filled with tears, and she hugged her friend gingerly, mindful of her pain.
"He seemed like such a nice guy, but he went crazy the minute he tied me to the bed." Sobbing, she recounted to Jessie how he'd taken a cane he claimed he'd just bought, and while telling her what a dirty whore she was, he’d beaten her body without remorse.
Jessie was disgusted, and felt bile rising up in her throat. The doorbell rang, and watching her friend tense in fear, she wished the man was here so she could tie up his ass and torture him. "I'm sure it's just Carolyn." Forcing a smile to her face, she walked over and looked through the peephole before letting her in.
Amanda told the story again, and Carolyn was just as angry as Jessie had been. She continued to encourage her to call the police, and not let the man get away with what he'd done. Frustrated that Amanda wouldn't budge, she got Jessie to help her change her clothes and settle her in bed. Giving her a pain pill from her own stash, they sat with her for the rest of the afternoon.
Amanda finally agreed to go stay at Carolyn's house for a few days until they were sure the jerk-off lawyer wouldn't come around again. His name would be blacklisted at the club, and Carolyn said she'd give his name to every group she knew in the area to make sure the man never abused anyone like this again.
Jessie drove back to her own apartment as they headed to Carolyn's, feeling nauseated at the thought of someone hurting her friend that badly. She hadn't mentioned it to either of them, but she couldn't stop the thought that none of this would have happened if they hadn't got mixed up in Carolyn's crazy lifestyle.
The next morning she received flowers from Chase, but she tossed them in the trash can. She knew he was probably just thanking her for sleeping with him, so it made her feel a little dirty, not to mention she wasn't in the best frame of mind to think about the things he enjoyed at the moment.
Another day went by and her self-confidence was in the toilet. On the one hand, she was glad Chase hadn't called because she wasn't sure she'd ever feel safe around people like him again. On the other hand, it drove home the fact that he'd only been using her for comfort. Neither thought said much about him. The only positive news was that Amanda had finally broken down and called the police.
The prick of a lawyer was charged with assault and Amanda moved in with Carolyn until his court date. She needed to get out of this place, Jessie told Sebastian as he curled up in her lap. A good long break away from everything here might help her get her head on straight again. Working like crazy hadn't stopped the thoughts pounding through her mind, so maybe a change of scenery would. It had been a week, but felt like months since Amanda's attack.
Making the decision, she called work, explaining she'd be out of town for a week. Jessie told them she wouldn't be available if something came up that required her being there in person.
She called Amanda and let her know she was taking a trip down to Florida. Amanda had asked if she wanted company, but she told her she needed some time to regroup. She gave her the hotel information, but asked her to keep it to herself. She had no doubt the company would drive her crazy with technical help questions if she didn't, even though this was her first vacation since she had started working there. Working vacation, she reminded herself, but still, it was a chance to get away.
After packing up her car and Sebastian, she set out. Soon enough, the greenery turned into white sandy beaches and palm trees. She rolled down the windows and inhaled the salty air. Finally pulling up to her hotel, she checked in at the front desk, and then unloaded her bags. The beach was calling her name, but she wanted to get all her things arranged first. Half an hour later, Sebastian was curled up sleeping, and she finally made it down to the sugary sand and took a deep breath.
Tossing out her beach towel, she sat down and pulled out a book. Getting lost in the pages of someone else's romance for a few hours, she found relief. That relief was short lived when she realized she'd forgotten sunscreen. She knew she'd be suffering the effects of her forgetfulness the rest of the night. At least the characters in her books had their acts together, she thought. Chuckling wryly she packed up and bypassed the hotel in favor of the local drugstore.
Picking up a bottle of ibuprofen and aloe-vera, she decided to walk around before heading back to the room. May was already tourist season, and everywhere she looked there were couples or college kids enjoying their surroundings. A couple of whistles from younger men who'd enjoyed a little too much alcohol didn't faze her. Ignoring them, she stopped in at several shops and picked up a few little items to remind her of the trip, and a few new toys for her pet. She was enjoying acting like a tourist.
For the rest of the week, she refused to let her mind settle on Chase. She did her work at night, and kept herself busy during the day shopping, or just enjoying the beach. She didn't forget sunscreen again, since the first two days of her trip were almost miserable because of her forgetfulness. The only time she couldn't escape him was in her dreams, and in those, he was the most beautiful lover a woman could imagine. She awoke several nights with tears in her eyes.
Checking out of her hotel after packing up, she felt the vacation had definitely been something she needed. Even though she missed him, there was a part of her that knew she could handle going back to the city again. She even managed to smile as the long road stretched out before her and she listened to some of her favorite songs on the radio. Then that song came on the radio. It reminded her so much of Chase, that she almost had to stop the car. The song discussed a woman who was always failing in love, and it really hit home. A few deep breaths later, she relaxed again, continuing to drive.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Wrath of Lovers
Chase was beyond frustrated after a week of trying to contact Jessie and being thwarted at every turn. He had called to ask her out the day after his father’s funeral, even if it seemed a little wrong to do something like that. Reaching her voice mail time and time again, he finally badgered Carolyn to find out where she'd gone. He felt a little like a stalker as he discovered she'd went on vacation.
The thoughts going through his mind had not been pleasant. He imagined her on the beach with some new lover, and he almost gave into the temptation to drive down and drag her back home. Some part of him had already decided she was his. Forcing himself not to act like the alpha male he was, he decided to wait until she returned before demanding she tell him to his face she wasn't interested.
Carolyn had called to inform him she'd be returning today and he was on edge as he picked up the phone again for the fifth time to call her. He knew he was being irrational, but he felt almost used and
discarded and it hurt his ego. When she picked up the phone, it took everything he had not to tell her just how aggravated he was. "Hello, Jessie." He spoke the words calmly, and wished he felt that way.
Hearing his voice on the other end of the line made her heart race until she remembered he was the reason she'd left in the first place. "Hello, Chase. How are you?" She didn't want him to know how hard it had been to forget his face, and could only assume he was calling out of courtesy.
"Did you enjoy your trip?" He asked, ignoring her question. He wanted to demand to know if she was sleeping with someone else, but doubted that conversation would come out any way but possessive-sounding on his end.
"Um, yeah, I enjoyed the break." How did he even know she'd been gone, she wondered? Then considered Carolyn must have talked to Amanda. "How are things going with you?" This conversation needed to end. It almost sounded like he cared, and she couldn't let herself believe that.
"I'm okay but I didn't call to talk about me. Would you like to have dinner tonight?" He wanted to see her face. He wasn't a saint by any means, but after learning what her friend had gone through at the hands of a brute, he was really worried she was putting him in the same category.
"I don't think that's such a good idea, Chase." She wanted to say yes, but dinner with him would only end in two ways, and both would hurt eventually. She couldn't imagine just having a polite conversation with him, and if they ended up in bed, she knew it wouldn't mean the same thing to him as it did to her. A week wasn't long enough to forget how Amanda's experience with a man in the lifestyle had ended up.
"And why not, Jessie girl? Did you not enjoy our nights together?" If she wasn't going to meet him, then he at least wanted to hear the truth from her lips.
Flushing, she felt her heart race even more. "I think you know I did, Chase, but we just seem to want different things." She wasn't going to say he'd just been using her to not deal with his pain, even though it really felt that way. He'd been dealing with a tough situation, and maybe if the roles were reversed she'd have done the same. She doubted it, though. Sex obviously meant a lot more to her.
"Maybe you should come over and discuss the things you want, Jessie. I can't please you if I don't know what you want." He was more than a little disappointed, and frustrated that just when he’d initiated her into the world of lovemaking, Amanda's situation had turned her completely off his lifestyle.
The thought of being with him again that way made her libido skyrocket, but how could she give herself to a man who would never see her as more than a object of sexual gratification? At least you'd enjoy yourself, her subconscious argued. Right up until the moment he decided to turn into psycho man, her mind answered back. "Is that what you really want Chase, someone to enjoy passionate games with?"
"I guess the real question here is what do you really want? We obviously have good chemistry, Jessie. Why shouldn't we enjoy each other?" He didn't want her to walk away. There were so many things he wanted to share with her. But all of them involved her trusting him.
"I'm sure Carolyn explained what happened to Amanda. I'm not sure I'll ever feel comfortable playing in your world again," she admitted finally. That was only part of the problem. Even if she could trust him in that capacity, he would never want the type of relationship she craved with him.
Running a weary hand through his thick hair, he sighed. "That man wasn't a master. He was barely a human being. Surely you don't put me on that same level?"
"I don't think you're that type of person, but I admit I'm a little leery of the thought of being hurt that way." A little was an understatement. She wasn't sure she'd ever recover from abuse like that.
"Any woman would be, but that's not really the question. Do you think I would hurt you like that?" If she thought he could be that sadistic, then there was no hope for them at all.
She thought about his question deeply and shook her head. "No, I know you wouldn't do something like that." She meant it. No matter how insensitive he was to her feelings for him, he wasn't the type of man to abuse another woman. That much she knew for certain.
Releasing the breath he'd been holding waiting for her answer, he relaxed somewhat. "Come see me tonight then. I really would like to talk to you."
She knew talking would turn into something else if she visited him. But would it be so horrible to enjoy him as a lover, knowing it would never go any further? Could she be that woman who just enjoyed the sensual side of her nature? Maybe that was the only way she'd get over the urge to want more than just pleasure with him. "We both know it would end in more than talking." At least that was honest, even if she hated saying the words out loud.
He wasn't going to deny that. "The choice is yours, Jessie. It always has been. If you're still interested, stop by my house tonight at eight." He hung up, not giving her time to answer; afraid he would beg her to give him a chance. If she came tonight, he would introduce her into the real world of domination, and if she didn't, he had to accept that she just didn't want him.
Listening to the dial tone for several seconds, she finally hung up. It hurt to know she'd been right and he'd only wanted to be with her to fulfill his needs. He didn't really want to talk, she decided. He wanted to enjoy her. It hurt knowing that was what he really cared about.
The hurt finally blended into anger. Two could play at his game, she decided, even knowing she would be the one that would pay the price when it all ended. She'd fought against her sexuality for years, and he was the first man to awaken her to desire. Why shouldn't she enjoy herself, if only for short time? It went against everything she believed about herself, but for once she just didn't care.
Unpacking her suitcases, she arranged everything meticulously as she thought over her options. It was obvious that she still wanted the man, even if these weren't exactly the terms she wanted him on. At least she would hopefully have a few months of memories to take away with her when this was over. Her decision already made, she took a long, hot bath, and soaked to clear her head.
She dressed to please him. Knowing that at least he found her sexually appealing did more than she'd thought possible for her self-confidence. Pulling a never-worn, slinky red dress from her closet, she slid it over her head, pleased it still fit after years of hanging abandoned. The silky little garment had been one she bought when her ex had planned to take her out dancing, before he'd broken the news about his new relationship. It somehow seemed fitting to wear this for Chase tonight.
A shrink would have a field day with her thoughts at the moment, she thought as she prepared herself to give her body to a man who obviously couldn't love her. Knowing the types of things he enjoyed, she hoped her heart was the only thing that came out of this broken. She instantly berated herself for that thought. She knew Chase would never physically hurt her.
Driving to his house, she attempted to talk herself out of this madness. She almost turned around several times, but minutes later she found herself in his driveway. “This has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever done, Jess,” she said out loud as she climbed out of the car. Walking up to his door, her knees trembled in anticipation of facing him. Louise's smiling face met her instead.
"It's good to see you, young lady. You've been missed around here." Patting Jessie’s hand affectionately, Louise opened the door so she could enter.
"It's nice to see you, Louise." The other woman’s smile was infectious and she returned it while squeezing her hand gently.
"Chase is waiting for you in his study. You go on up and I'll bring some drinks." Pointing to the stairs, she walked off.
Forcing her legs to move, Jessie walked upstairs and followed the hall until she saw the open door of the study. Giving Chase a timid smile, she gazed over him as he sat behind the large mahogany desk. "Evening," she whispered softly.
"I'm glad you came, Jessie." He gave a forced smile and encouraged her to sit down in the oversized chair in front of the desk with a hand motion.
He didn't seem as warm and affectio
nate as she remembered, and an uncomfortable feeling moved through her. For a reason she couldn't explain, he seemed almost angry. "Did you change your mind?" That was the only explanation that made sense to her.
"Why on earth would I do that? We enjoy each other. There's no reason that we shouldn't continue to do so." Sensing that she didn't truly believe him, he sighed deeply. He needed to get his emotions under control. He wanted more than just some sexual rendezvous, he realized. "I just want to discuss some details before we decide where we want to go here, Jessie. I'm sorry if I seem a little tense."
This was how he normally treated the submissive's interested in training with him. He'd done things wrong with her from the beginning, but tonight he was determined to show her how he acted when he kept his emotions out of the equation. What he really wanted to do was pull her into his arms and demand that she want more from him that just the sexual pleasure he gave, but that wasn't going to happen. He felt like the woman in a relationship needing emotional depth, and it pissed him off.
They were interrupted by Louise bringing in a tray with a bottle of wine and long-stemmed glasses. They both thanked her and the silence when she left again was a little daunting to Jessie.
"I guess the best way to begin is to explain what I'm looking for in a submissive." That was who he was; he didn't see any reason to sugarcoat what his needs were. If he could have her as something more, he would have worked into this as their relationship progressed, but that wasn't the case now.
Who is this man? She thought to herself as she nodded for him to continue. He seemed almost business-like at the moment, and she wasn't sure that a relationship like this was something she could do.
"You've already been introduced to my dungeon, so you know the toys and such I like to play with. I explained before if you belonged to me, when you enter it should always be undressed and ready to please me." This felt so cold and calculated, but the thought of playing with her there still excited him, so if this is what she wanted, he had no problem giving it to her.
Romance Book Club Page 10
