by Bible, Jake
She jumps away and I listen closely, not sure I can uncurl from my heroic fetal position. I hear a few whacks and...laughter? Yeah, she’s out there laughing and I’m in here whimpering in pink yoga pants. Not wet with pee. Not at all.
I finally shove the broken windshield out of the way; it just folds in on itself, and I climb out of the truck. I stand there on the asphalt, in my not wet with pee yoga pants and purple butterfly shirt, and gape at the carnage. There are dozens and dozens of Zs strewn everywhere, their heads crushed or ripped off. Many are missing limbs and I can see said missing limbs buried in the skulls of other Zs.
One girl did all of this?
“What are you doing?” I ask Elsbeth, as I watch her going through the still Zs’ pockets. Those that have pockets. “Are you robbing the undead?”
Elsbeth looks up at me, squinting against the sunlight, and cocks her head. “Robbing? What you mean by that?”
“You’re going through their pockets. Why?”
Elsbeth shrugs then holds up her hand. A few coins, a paper clip, and a Swiss Army knife.
“Never know what you might find,” she says as she stands up and lets the coins fall from her hand. She puts the paper clips in her pockets and opens the large blade on the knife. “Still sharp.”
She hands it to me and hoists The Bitch over her shoulder. I look at the knife and the size of the blade compared to the bat. “I’d rather have The Bitch.”
She looks at me and I can see her trying to figure out what I mean. I nod at the bat on her shoulder. “The Bitch. That’s what I call your bat. It’s like mine.”
“This is better,” she says and takes it from her shoulder, looking at it. “The Bitch. Good name. I never named it. Thanks.”
“Uh, sure,” I nod then look around. I can hear moaning coming from around the bend and know more Zs are on the way. “Uh, Whispering Pines is just up the road.” I point ahead. “Not far. We should get going.”
Elsbeth looks at me then at the road. She does this a few times and nods. Then starts walking away. I follow her, but can’t even come close to keeping pace as my leg feels like it’s on fire. And, well, Elsbeth is a really fast walker. She looks over her shoulder at me and smiles.
“You’re a gimp, Long Pork,” she says as she comes back and takes one of my arms and drapes it over her shoulders. “I wouldn’t have saved your gimp ass if I’d known you’d be so slow, but Pa’s gone and I just got you. Still, slow don’t deserve to live.”
“Well, I’m an exception because I’m so awesome,” I say.
“That right?” she laughs. “Don’t you mean because you’re so pretty? What with those pants on and all. Damn, Long Pork, I lived in that house for a long time and I wouldn’t be caught dead in those things. They were left upstairs for a reason. Even if Pa wanted me to wear them.”
“Not really my choice,” I say. She’s pretty talkative, a different person. I have to wonder how much of the stupid was just an act for her pa. “And don’t call me Long Pork. My name is Jace. You can just call me Jace.”
“Nope,” Elsbeth says as she helps me hobble along. “I save your pinky ass and I get to name you. Long Pork is your name now.”
“I don’t think my wife will like that,” I say. “The kids will think it’s funny, but my wife won’t be too pleased that you named me after your cannibal cuisine.”
“Cooz-een?” she asks. “What’s that mean?”
“Cuisine? Like the way you prepare food. A style of food. You know, like Mexican cuisine, Italian cuisine, stuff like that.”
“Only one way you prepare foods,” she replies. “Over a fire. That’s my cooz-een.”
“Yeah, I was made quite aware of that,” I say.
We walk for a few minutes before I notice the landmarks that tell us we’re close to Whispering Pines. “Just around the corner,” I say.
She stops and lets my arm fall away. “Good luck, Long Pork,” she says and starts to take off up the hill and into the brush.
“Hey!” I shout. “Wait!”
“Holy cripes, Long Pork,” she hisses. “You’s got to shut the hell up.”
“Where are you going?” I ask. “Whispering Pines is this way.”
She shakes her head. “They won’t let me in. We tried once. Killed Uncle Jeb with one shot and then said they’d kill us if we didn’t move on.”
“Ah, shit,” I whisper. Jesus... I shake my head back and forth. “They won’t shoot you now. You’re with me. They’ll let you in. They have to.”
She laughs loud and then closes her mouth, her eyes wide and senses alert. When she’s satisfied she hasn’t brought Zs down on us she gives me a hard look. “Nobody has to do nothing no more, Long Pork. Ain’t you got no sense in your head? Nobody has to do nothing.”
She has a point.
“Jace? Jace!” Stuart says as he and part of his defensive crew come jogging up to me. “Damn, man! How’d you get away?”
“And what the hell are you wearing?” one of the crew asks, a guy named Harlan Tobias, as the others just stare at me.
“It was hot yoga night,” I say. “I didn’t have time to change before being surrounded by Zs.” I hold up the knife. “But they were handing out knives to the first lucky dozen. So that’s a plus.”
“I think Jace has gone over the edge, man,” Harlan whispers to the man next to him.
“You,” Elsbeth snarls and the men all see her a few feet away for the first time. She had just stopped being there for a minute, almost invisible, until she wanted to be noticed. “You killed Pa.”
Stuart turns and gives her the full weight of his stare. For the record, Stuart’s stare, when it is on full blast and without any mercy or compassion, is terrifying. Other than a mob of Zs, it’s the only other thing that would make me piss my pants. Not that I pissed my pants. I’m not admitting that at all. But Elsbeth doesn’t wither under his eyes. Instead, she seems to puff up, her body filling with confidence as she slowly walks over and gets face to face with Stuart.
“Uh, boss?” Harlan asks. “Should we shoot her?”
Before anyone can do anything, Elsbeth sweeps Stuart’s legs out from under him. The others move on her and in a blink, they’re down on the ground, clutching body parts, mainly their crotches, and all writhing in pain. Elsbeth raises The Bitch over Stuart.
“Say you’re sorry,” she orders.
“For what then?” Stuart asks.
“For killing Pa,” Elsbeth says.
“No,” Stuart says.
“Uh, dude,” I say, “just say you’re sorry.”
“I’m not, though,” Stuart says as he lies on the asphalt. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat to save your pink ass, Jace.”
“Okay, I need to get home and change,” I say. “I’m really sick of everyone commenting on my pink ass.”
“You ain’t gonna say you’re sorry?” Elsbeth asks.
“No, young lady, I’m not,” Stuart says. “Are you gonna kill me with that thing?”
“Maybe,” she says.
“But maybe not then?”
“Maybe not.”
“I think you’re leaning towards the maybe not part,” Stuart says. “Because since I did kill your Pa, you don’t have anyone else. You kill me and Jace can’t take you back to Whispering Pines.”
“I’d be fine on my own,” she replies. “I can handle the Zs.”
“I can attest to that,” I say.
“For a time, I’m sure you would be,” Stuart nods. “But not against the people. There’s a lot of them and they aren’t looking to make friends.”
“I don’t make friends with food no how anyway,” Elsbeth shrugs.
Stuart suddenly kicks out at her, but she jumps his legs and comes down with one knee on his chest, the spikes of The Bitch pressed against his throat. They stare at each other and I’m pretty sure I witness the first ever successful example of nuclear fusion outside the Sun itself. What I mean to say, is that staring shit is intense.
Stuart gives h
er a slight nod. Elsbeth watches him for a split second and then nods back. She gets off his chest and he pushes up onto his elbows. He looks over at me and frowns. “Gonna need some help, Jace.”
I see the bloodstain on the asphalt and remember that he’s wounded. The motherfucker runs to get help and then hikes it back while bleeding from god knows where. Adding that to the long list of why I don’t piss off James “Don’t Call Me Jimmy” Stuart.
I get him up and Elsbeth steps past us and starts to help the others. They warily take her hand, one at a time, but don’t argue with the olive branch. I highly doubt any of them will ever argue with Elsbeth.
“Let’s get you home and fixed up,” I say to Stuart, “you look worse than I do.”
“Not possible, ma’am,” Stuart smiles.
“No, seriously, Jace,” Harlan says, “what the fuck is up with the outfit?”
“You are welcome to shut your pie hole,” I say. “No, seriously.”
“You can’t be dressed like that and not expect questions,” Stuart says.
“I didn’t dress like this!” I protest.
“Quiet down, Long Pork,” Elsbeth warns. “Still gotta watch for Zs.”
Stuart’s crew eyes Elsbeth then me, when she says Long Pork.
I let the name slide by and glance at Stuart. “Jon?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “We’re gonna get back home and then work out how to go look for him.”
“You aren’t going anywhere,” I say.
“Neither are you, limpy,” he replies.
“I don’t think Stella’s letting me out of her sight any time soon.”
“Who’s Stella?” Elsbeth asks. “That your wife that won’t like me calling you Long Pork? She a nice lady or a ball buster?”
The guys all laugh. A little too hard for my taste.
“I wouldn’t call her a ball buster,” I say. Harlan snorts.
“Hey, now,” Stuart snaps. “Show some respect for the lady. She takes care of the children and keeps their brains from turning to mush. When one of those kids is grown and fighting next to you, you’ll be thanking her up and down for making sure that kid has a brain in his or her head.”
“Didn’t mean nothing by it,” Harlan grumbles.
“So, does she bust your balls?” Elsbeth asks again.
“Why do you keep asking that?” I say. “What’s up with the ball busting?”
“Pa said women are ball busters and can’t be trusted with nothing ‘cept cleaning, cooking, and fucking.”
“Jesus,” I say. Everyone is silent for a minute before I respond. “No, she’s not a ball buster. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I’d die for her in an instant.”
“Huh,” Elsbeth replies. “Die for her? Guess she’s good at fucking, because no one is gonna die for cooking or cleaning.”
There is dead silence for a brief moment before everyone bursts out laughing.
“Oh, shit, man,” Harlan says. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time!”
“What?” Elsbeth asks, honestly perplexed. “What’s so funny?”
This gets everyone laughing even harder and I give her a big smile so she knows she’s not the butt of the joke. I really don’t want her pissed off when we are so close to home.
Speaking of, we come around the last bend in the road and it starts to dip down to the entrance to Whispering Pines. I have never been so glad to see that gate.
“Open up,” Stuart orders.
“Gotta check for bites,” a sentry replies.
“Yes, you do,” Stuart says. “So open up and let us in so we can get checked then.”
“Outside the gate,” the sentry says.
“Inside ain’t the procedure anymore,” the other sentry replies, obviously uncomfortable with how the conversation is turning.
“Like hell it’s not,” Stuart barks. “I made the damn procedure! Open the gate!”
“Gotta get checked first, James,” Brenda says, appearing at the watchtower. “New rules.”
“That makes no damn sense, Brenda!” Stuart shouts and Brenda looks like she’s been physically slapped by his voice.
“You hush now!” she warns. “Or none of you are coming inside. Just get checked and you can be done with it. All checks happen outside the gate now. New rule in the covenants. The Board just approved it.”
“Whoa,” I say, “you can’t just call a Board vote without giving the full HOA notice.”
“Emergency measures,” Brenda says. “You’ll be informed once you are inside. After you get checked.”
“Jesus,” I grumble as I start to strip off my clothes.
“And what are you wearing, Jace?” Brenda asks from above. “That outfit is ridiculous.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I say.
We all stand there naked, checking each other over. Except for Elsbeth. She refuses to undress.
“They won’t let you in otherwise,” I say. “It’s to make sure there are no bites.”
Elsbeth eyes me for a minute (luckily her eyes stay up) and then looks at the gate. She squints up at Brenda and frowns.
“If she doesn’t undress right now,” Brenda says, “then she isn’t coming in ever. I’m not keen on someone new being allowed into Whispering Pines.”
“She saved my life,” I say, “and she’s going to undress.” I look at her. “Don’t be shy. It’s all good. No one is going to act like a pervert.”
“I don’t know what a prevert is,” Elsbeth says. “But y’all have to promise not to stare at me. Sometimes Pa would stare at me when he was done with a new...”
“What?” I ask, not sure I want to. “Done with a new what?”
She doesn’t answer, just starts removing the many layers of filthy clothing from her body. When she is naked, we all try not to stare like she’d asked, but it is very hard.
“Pa called them my beauty marks,” Elsbeth says. “But I know they ain’t beautiful. Even I know that.”
I have said before that Elsbeth is a gorgeous young woman, but it isn’t her muscular body that we all try not to stare at. It’s what covers that body.
“Oh, my...” Brenda whispers from above.
Without us saying anything, the gate opens and we all wait for Elsbeth to go first. She looks at me and I nod. She avoids everyone else’s stares and slips inside the gate. I’m right behind her, followed closely by the rest, their eyes glued to what covers her skin.
Burns. Layers of burn marks. Circles, squares, triangles, s-shapes, spirals. All deliberate and covering nearly every inch of her skin, from wrist to shoulder, calf to thigh, across her back, her belly, and her breasts.
“Holy Mary, Mother of Joseph,” Mindy says as she surrounds Elsbeth with a group of her security officers. “That ain’t right.”
“Don’t stare,” Elsbeth says, and I can hear many emotions in her voice, not the least of which is anger.
I have a pretty good idea what the woman is capable of and I step in between Mindy and Elsbeth. “She’s going home with me,” I say, surprised at the words even as they come out of my mouth. “She’s going to get cleaned up and then fed. You can do your interview at my place later.”
“Dude.”
“Whoa.”
“Stella is gonna kill him.”
I hear all of these comments behind me and ignore them. I especially ignore the last comment. Stella is going to kill me.
“Can’t let you do that, Jace,” Mindy says. “Express orders from Brenda. She is to come with me and be debriefed.”
Stuart laughs and inserts himself between Mindy and me. “Debriefed? Exactly what does that mean? Please, I’d love to hear this.”
Stuart may be a guy that follows orders, but he has never been one to condone incompetence or insincerity, both traits that Mindy seems to possess in full.
“Well, she has to tell us what she knows,” Mindy says.
“And?” Stuart prompts. “Go on.”
“Well, she could have vita
l information about the people coming after us,” Mindy says. “Those people you ran into.”
Stuart looks over his shoulder and up at the watchtower. Brenda is against the rail, staring directly at him.
“Those people...” His voice trails off.
He gently takes Elsbeth by the elbow and directs her over to me. She tries to press against me, her anger having turned to confusion and fear. I keep my forearm between us, making sure certain parts don’t, well, touch.
“I think the young woman will be going home with Jace, so Stella can get her cleaned up,” Stuart states, his eyes still locked with Brenda’s. “Then Dr. McCormick will examine her. Once she gives the okay, I think a debriefing is a good idea.”
“Stuart,” I start to say, but he holds up his hand.
“With Jace and me present,” Stuart says, his face turning back to Mindy. She quickly sees he’s very serious. “That work for you?”
Mindy looks up at Brenda, as we all do. She nods slightly and Mindy steps aside.
“I’ll be by later,” Mindy says, “I want to get it done before dinner time.”
“We’ll see,” Stuart says. “I’m going to speak with Melissa. Jon’s still out there.”
“I’ll accompany you,” Brenda says. “I’d like to hear what you have to say. Then you and I can sit down with our Head of Security here and have an even bigger conversation.”
“That works,” Stuart says.
“Does it now, Mr. Stuart?” Brenda asks as she descends from the watchtower. “How kind of you to acknowledge that.”
“Um, I’m going to have to veto that,” I say, pointing to the ragged wound on Stuart’s back. “Dr. McCormick will need to look at that first. That looks deep.”
“I’m fine,” Stuart says, “I’ve had worse.”
“Bullshit,” I say. “Well, sure, you may have had worse, but you aren’t fine. I know how much blood-”
“Thank you, Jason,” Stuart says. “The doctor lives by you so I’ll let you walk me there. Then I go straight to the Billings’ house.”
“After fetching us,” Brenda says, “right, Mr. Stuart?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Stuart nods and walks off. “Coming, Jace?”
I steer Elsbeth away from the crowd, dropping our clothes in the fire bin by the watchtower, no need to decon those. I wait until we have crested the small hill and are turning towards Phase Two before I speak up.
