“This is the real Annabelle. I like to fish. Some women would say that’s not proper. So I only fish when I’m with my father.”
A wistful tone filled her voice, and he wondered when she’d last gone fishing with her pa.
“You can fish with me.”
Annabelle shook her head. “That really wouldn’t be proper now, would it? I’m already going to have to be careful to avoid a scandal for being here, so the more we can avoid the appearance of impropriety, the better.”
Annabelle was right. He hadn’t thought of the consequences of them spending the night unchaperoned. They shouldn’t have come at all. But he hadn’t thought twice about it when her father had suggested the idea. Still...Annabelle was a lady, and...
If word got out about them spending the night alone in the cabin together, Annabelle would be unfit for decent company. She’d done nothing other than offer him and his sister her kindness—at the expense of her own grief. And now, because she’d agreed to bring them here, she’d suffer once more.
“I should marry you. To avoid scandal.”
He’d never imagined himself saying those words, least of all to someone like Annabelle, but they slipped out. A man of honor, he’d spare Annabelle’s reputation.
“But I won’t marry you.” Annabelle stalked the rest of the way to the water, fishing rod clenched in her hand, stating clearly that the conversation was over.
Nugget tugged at his hand. “That wasn’t very romantical.”
“Romantical?” He stared down at her. “What do you know of romantical?”
The little girl’s face brightened. “When Papa got romantical for Mama, he went to the bathhouse and took a bath. Then he picked some pretty flowers and gave them to her. Mama said it was the most romantical thing ever, and she couldn’t wait until he was free to marry her.”
She stared at him with a knowing look. “If you’re not romantical to Annabelle, she’s never going to marry you.”
Words from a child shouldn’t sting. The comparison to his snake father was the lowest insult he could think of. Especially as they related to marrying a woman he had no business thinking he could marry. The honorable thing was to propose marriage. He had, and she’d said no. End of discussion.
Right?
* * *
Annabelle fought with the line that had somehow been tangled. Imagine! Telling her that he’d marry her, as if it were some kind of chore, like gutting a fish. Was she so unlovable that he wouldn’t want to marry her?
Not that she wanted to marry him, of course.
But oh...the nerve of the man. Her finger slid along the line, and the string cut into her skin. Blood oozed out, and she stuck her finger in her mouth.
She glanced over her shoulder. Joseph had squatted by Nugget and together, they were gutting the fish. Her heart wasn’t supposed to melt at the sight. She should have been completely unaffected by the way he smiled at the little girl. So tender. Gentle. And Nugget’s giggle...
There was so much to like about them. Annabelle recast her line, this time being careful of her injured finger. If only things were different. If she hadn’t been abandoned by another miner whose lust for riches outweighed his feelings for her. Mining fever blinded people to what was right. Though Joseph was beginning his quest with what sounded like good intentions, they’d fade once he held that first glimmer of metal in his hand.
But even if Joseph were a blacksmith or a barber, or anything else, Annabelle’s heart was too irrevocably damaged that she had nothing left to give anyone. And why should she? She’d lost too much to risk it again.
Another giggle rent the air. Another pang in Annabelle’s heart. For all her attempts not to care for the little girl, she couldn’t help but wish...
If Susannah had lived, she and Nugget could have been friends.
A tug at her line brought Annabelle’s attention back to where it should have been. This fish wasn’t as big as the other one, but it still took a good deal of strength to bring it in herself. But she wasn’t afraid of the work. Work had never scared her. The strength required to perform such tasks was nothing in comparison to the strength of will it took to handle everything else in her life. If only the rest of her life was so simple as physical labor.
“I’m impressed,” Joseph said over her shoulder as she finished bringing it in. “You should have asked for help.”
“And spoil the fun?” Annabelle grabbed the fish and pulled it off the hook. “I told you that I love to fish.”
The fish wiggled in her hands, and she tossed it in Joseph’s direction. “Want to take care of this one?”
“I’d be happy to. It’s the least I can do, since you’ve been so good as to provide dinner.”
She watched as he brought the fish to Nugget for them to clean. One more thing she had to appreciate about him. He didn’t coddle Nugget or treat her as less than capable because she was a girl.
“I’ll head back to the cabin and get the stove ready so we can cook the fish.”
Before she could turn back up the trail, Joseph stopped her. “We need to stick together, remember?”
Annabelle sighed. “You’re right.”
The look he gave her made her feel only marginally better. How, in all of this, had she forgotten that there was a man out there who wanted to harm Nugget? For a moment, she’d gotten lost in the joy of fishing and forgotten that they were all in very real danger.
A bird cried out, and Annabelle watched as it turned circles in the sky. As high up as they were, sheer cliffs still surrounded them from all directions. Trapped. And with night closing in, the only option they had was to remain united.
She gave another deep inhale before opening her eyes and looking back up at the cliffs.
Along the top of the ridge, something flashed. Like a light, only not so bright. Like a reflection. Was it the man who’d tried to take Nugget?
“Joseph?” She tried to keep her voice modulated, not betraying the worry and fear that would frighten a little girl.
He must’ve sensed the edge in her voice, because he murmured something to Nugget, then stepped right beside Annabelle before quietly saying, “Is something the matter?”
“Look up at the cliff to the north. Just past my right shoulder. There’s a flash of...something.” She gazed at him, watching his face as he searched the spot.
“Is it silver?”
If he had been her brother, she’d have slugged him in the arm. Hard. Silver. Because that’s all the people around here wanted to see. Joseph’s sister was in danger, and all his mind could conjure was silver.
“If it were silver, dozens of miners would have found it by now. I’m worried that it might be someone watching us. Like the man who tried taking Nugget.”
At her words, he stilled. Hopefully realizing that chasing after silver was foolishness in comparison to Nugget’s life.
“I’m going to take a closer look. We’ll return to the cabin. Once you two are safely inside, I’ll see what I can find.”
Annabelle’s heart thudded against her chest. “I thought we were supposed to stay together. I can’t protect Nugget by myself.”
He stared at her. Long and hard. Like he thought her words were more foolish than the thought of an inexperienced man going after a child-stealing bandit.
“Don’t go acting soft and feminine on me now. I know better. You are way more capable than you let on. I have no doubt that if someone came to the cabin, you could absolutely handle it on your own.”
Annabelle swallowed. His stare bore into her as if once again he saw deeper into her soul than even God. He was right. No one would harm Nugget. She’d already lost a precious child on her watch. Disease was something she couldn’t see coming, and she couldn’t stop once it came. But a man... Annabelle straightened her back.
“
I could,” she finally told him. “But I don’t like it.”
Then, because she couldn’t let his foolishness pass without a remark, she looked him up and down. “You, on the other hand, I have serious doubts about. You don’t know this land. And the type of men you’re liable to come across...”
“You think I’m weak.” The word came out as a slap in the face. No, no one could accuse this man of being weak.
“I think you’re green, which is different from being weak. Out here, being green gets a man killed.”
A sly smile slid across his face. “Does this mean Miss Annabelle Lassiter is worried about me?”
Oh! He was insufferable! “Fine, then. Take your chances.” She spun and strode over to where Nugget was finishing with the fish.
Annabelle smiled at the little girl and pretended to inspect Nugget’s handiwork while ignoring Joseph’s soft chuckle. Had she said he was insufferable?
“You did a nice job, Nugget. We’ll have a wonderful supper tonight.” Annabelle picked up the fish. “Let’s go back to the cabin and see what kind of feast we can prepare.”
The little girl giggled. “My papa used to say that when we finally got our mine in production, we’d have a feast every night. I didn’t know he was talking about fish.”
More false silver dreams. Annabelle swallowed the bitterness that rose up and smiled. “I’m sure he was talking about a different kind of feast, but I think this’ll do just as good.”
Nugget rewarded her with a heartbreakingly sweet smile. “You sound like my mama. Mama said we didn’t need no feast, just each other.”
Scary to be compared to a woman of ill-repute. Only, the more Nugget talked about her, the more Annabelle had to question that judgment, as well. Nugget’s mother sounded almost nice, like the sort of person she might be friends with. Except, of course, for the sinful life she led. Which only made Annabelle wonder more. She’d always lumped sinners into a pile, where their badness made them almost intolerable. She’d never taken the time to consider that they might have good qualities, as well.
Her father would have probably given her a sermon on the topic—that all are sinners and fall short of the glory of God. But the ladies at church said that some sinners were worse than others. Only now she had to begin to wonder which sin truly was the worst—the way they treated a sweet girl like Nugget and her mother, who seemed like she was a nice person—or the life Nugget’s mother led.
Annabelle tripped over a rock, stumbling, but managed to catch herself and save the fish.
“Are you all right?” Joseph grabbed her to steady her, then looked into her eyes.
How could he have known where her thoughts were going? “I’m fine,” she said, then continued on the path.
If she wanted to condemn those who condemned Nugget’s mother for being what she was, then she also had to look at her own judgments of people. Like Joseph. Like being upset at miners for vainly pursuing silver at the expense of all else.
Her father had once told her that he wanted to share real treasure with the miners, and that it was his duty to love them where they were at. That there was nothing wrong with pursuing a dream as long as you didn’t forget the highest prize.
Annabelle sighed. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Joseph or even miners. But it was the only defense she had against the pain of what would be the inevitable loss.
Nugget giggled at something Joseph said to her. The little girl, and yes, even her brother, had already wormed their way into her heart. But if she could leave soon, surely the pain would be bearable. It would certainly be more tolerable than prolonging the acquaintance. The longer she was with them, the more the parting would tear at her.
Chapter Nine
Joseph stuffed the paper-wrapped fish in his pocket. True to her word, Annabelle had made their dinner a feast. He hated leaving so late, but Annabelle had refused to let him leave without food in his belly.
Annabelle handed him the shotgun they’d found buried under one of the floorboards. “I think you should take this.”
“I’ve never been much of a shot.” He stared at the gun, knowing that if he had to come up against the kidnapper, he wouldn’t stand a chance.
Joseph closed his eyes and offered a silent prayer. He had to keep Annabelle and Nugget safe.
“What are you going to do when you meet up with whoever’s out there? Invite them to church? Even my father doesn’t venture out of town unarmed. When I agreed to the plan of you investigating, I assumed you at least knew how to protect yourself.”
Which was the nice way of her saying he was the biggest fool ever. “What do we do about what we saw on the cliff?”
She inclined her head over to Nugget, who was bent over one of Pa’s books. “We can’t do much of anything. We have Nugget to keep safe. At least, with the way the cabin is positioned, we’ll know they’re coming before they get here.”
Annabelle held up the gun and said, “I’m pretty good with targets, but it’s not as though I’ve ever shot a person before.”
If only Mary could see him now. She’d probably love the fact that he had a whole list of things a girl could do better than he. No, not a girl. Annabelle.
“We do have the strength of the Lord. Why don’t you pray for us?”
Except Annabelle didn’t rise up to his challenge. Instead, her face fell, and she started to turn away. “Sorry, I can’t.”
He reached for her shoulder. “Please. Annabelle. Stop turning away from me, and just face it.”
Her shoulders fell, and she slowly turned back to face him. A single tear ran down her cheek.
This Annabelle, this Annabelle he knew. It was the sad girl he’d seen try to hide at her father’s house.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” she whispered.
“Tell anyone what?”
Another tear trickled down her cheek. He wanted to reach out to wipe it away, but feared that if he did, it would give her reason to run away again.
“I can’t pray, Joseph. God doesn’t hear my prayers.” She closed her eyes, then her shoulders rose and fell again before she opened them and looked at him. “I’m a preacher’s daughter, and God doesn’t listen to my prayers. If anyone knew...”
The expression skittering across her face reminded him of one of the rabbits they caught in traps. She truly believed that people learning of her lack of faith would be the end of everything.
“Have you talked to your father about this?”
“No!” Annabelle took a step back. “And you can’t tell him, either. It would kill him to know that after all he’s done to save others, his own daughter doesn’t believe.”
His heart broke at the way her face twisted in pain. From his own faith journey, and how his family battled against Christian do-gooders, even if he did tell her father, it wouldn’t make a difference in what Annabelle believed. She had to learn to believe on her own.
“Then I’ll pray for us,” he said quietly. “And I’ll pray for you.”
“Please don’t waste your words on my account,” she said, then turned to clean up the remains of dinner.
This time, he gave her the space she required. He’d seen farther into Annabelle’s heart than she’d even allowed her father to see. With that, he had to believe that there was hope for Annabelle. Maybe even for him and Annabelle to be friends.
If there was silver, and the threat against them seemed to indicate there must be, then maybe he’d move his family out here. It would be good for Mary to have a woman friend her own age.
He smiled at the thought of Annabelle and Mary becoming friends. They both shared the same deep convictions and inner strength he so admired.
He glanced over at Nugget, engrossed in one of their pa’s books. “What are you reading?”
“Papa’s words.” A sad look crossed Nugget’s face.
“I miss Papa. He would’ve made the bad men on the cliff go away.”
So much for trying to keep Nugget out of this. “What do you know about the bad men on the cliff?”
Nugget shrugged, then hugged the book closer to her.
“They want Papa’s silver.”
He wished the little girl was old enough to tell him about more than just that their father had silver.
“Can you tell me anything about Papa’s silver?” Joseph sat next to her on the bed, but she scooted away.
“No.” Nugget hugged the book closer to her. “It’s a secret.”
Joseph sighed. She was just a child. She probably didn’t know much anyway.
“It’s all right. You don’t have to tell your secret. Come here, and I’ll read to you.”
This time, Nugget rewarded him with a grin and fell into his arms. He breathed in her soft little-girl scent, cuddling her.
Since he wasn’t going to be able to marry and have children himself, he had to enjoy these moments with his sister and cherish them as his own. Mary would call him daft, but she could someday have a family of her own. He would do that much for the sister he’d left behind to care for the others while he hunted for their pa. After the abuse she’d suffered at Aunt Ina’s hands while protecting their siblings, well, he owed her. If only he’d known before he’d left just how bad it would be for them. One more reason to be angry at his father.
He caught Annabelle’s soft humming as she cleaned up the remainder of their dinner. It was almost enough for him to be able to lose himself in the fantasy of having a real family. It’d be nice to have a woman who loved him to take care of them, and a sweet child of their own to love. But Annabelle wasn’t his wife, and Nugget wasn’t his daughter.
Margaret had been right about why he’d make a terrible husband. He was too busy with the family he already had to start one of his own. It was a good thing Annabelle had refused his proposal. He could rest with a clear conscience knowing he’d done the honorable thing, but also with the relief that he wasn’t forcing a good woman like Annabelle to give up whatever it was she dreamed of.
Rocky Mountain Dreams (Leadville, Co. Book 1) Page 8
