“Liesel sent me a message, she says she’s having dinner with her family tonight, she’d like it if we came,” I say.
“Sympathy for the bastards?” he asks.
“Something like that. She says she’s got two sisters and a mum and a dad, and the all say there’s more than enough of them to go around and they want a play by play of what happened this morning,” I say, shrugging, “Logan messaged much the same thing, he’s got a mum and dad too, and he says we’re welcome to join him.” Quentin also messaged and he said he didn’t want to see ‘Titus’ face in this life or the next, so I if I saw him the least I could do was hit him for him’, but if I wanted to have dinner with him and his mum, I was more than welcome.
“Will you go?” he asks. He’s not. I already know.
“Yeah, probably, it’s not you know, my family, but it’s somebody, something real. Close to real,” I say.
“Yeah, it is,” he says.
“Will you come?” I ask.
“I am for other than for dancing measures,” he says.
“What’s that mean?” I ask, smiling I know it’s from a book.
“It means while all that’s real and good and nice. I’m not, I think I accept that now---you see if I were meant to be with a family, to be hugged, to be having a hot meal, somebody talking to me and wanting to hear what I had to say—they’d be here. but I’m not, and they’re not, and I’m alone, and I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be,” he says.
“I think that’s sad,” I say.
“I don’t know, I have my books,” he says, looking at his tablet, “And things could be worse. You could not exist, then my world would be so much more dark. So other people have homes and families and love and warmth and dreams and futures and light. I have you and my books. And I’m all right.”
“Okay,” I say. I’m going to go and join them. because as he said. he’s not real. Or good. or nice. But he is him. and I do love him for it. I lean over and kiss his cheek, “Goodbye.”
“For tonight,” he says, watching me go.
“For tonight,” I say, moving my eyes from him, where he sits, quietly, with his hand on the cheek where I kissed it.
Chapter 19
T hat was fun, wasn’t it?
Go, on you know it was. You didn’t really think we’d burn the building down but here we are. You probably didn’t think I’d murder Ebbel either, the way things were going for a while.
Yes it’s me.
Disappointed?
I don’t think so.
The universe would be a much less interesting place without me in it, wouldn’t you agree? Oh it would be more peaceful, I give you that. but much less invigorating. Who would we have doing evil deeds, lying and scheming. You can’t love the Toms and Harrises and Quentins, without hating me. I give you the lens through which you can enjoy them. You cannot have true joy without knowing pain.
And I’m the pain.
So I’ll teach you some harsh lessons, show you some wondrous things, we’ll have a fine time. because this isn’t over. This most certainly isn’t over. I’ve got far too much to do. You can’t have yin without yang, heroes without villains. And you can’t have Space without Titus Card.
Oh, you have to be going now? That is a shame. I’ve enjoyed your company over the past few days. You haven’t mine? That’s all right, you don’t have to. come back though when you have some time. when you’re angry when you’re hurting, when the world isn’t fair. Lock it up in here. and then it will disappear into space. Waste an hour with us let the never-ending darkness absorb all the misery and the sadness, and the light of my stars heal your pain. We’ll do it together. and there will be more adventures when come back again. I promise.
So do come back. We have much more magic up our sleeves.
Oh, now you don’t want to leave? Don’t. you’re making me blush. You know how I hate happy endings. Don’t say you’ll miss me. we both know that isn’t true. or isn’t it? You’re used me perhaps. No, you absolutely despise me? well, you’re still reading, aren’t you? So you be the judge of that.
You won’t miss me you’ll miss them? Well they’re here, and I’m here, and so are you. go on, it’s over for now, the tales been told, the story is at an end. we’ll be all right, save the best laughs for when you’re around.
So, goodbye. For now. We’ll be waiting here till you find your way back to the Cygnus galaxy.
Chapter 20
2 years Later
G lad you could join us. Haven’t seen you around in a while, were we boring you?
I thought not. It’s not usually boring around here. What have you missed? A good deal, and then at the same time, not so very much.
I wonder if you know you’ve missed things, or even that you’ve been gone at all. Or if you remember me or if it’s happened before for you or all again. But no matter. You’re here now.
You should know, I have a child now. she’s the most fantastic thing that has happened in this universe, and I adore her. for a while I thought that this might be what love is. What other people feel when they say they love something.
But it’s not.
It’s purely selfish. Because, now, you see, I’m no longer alone. There’s somebody else like me, more than that, a person like me who I can teach, I can train. I can mold. Yet she’s quick and clever and contrary as I, quite soon she’ll be defying me like mad I know it. I can’t wait for that to come.
Oh, and I made a deal with the Isylgyns, the aliens trying to take over our planet. Not officially mind you, not officially so far as the actual government goes. But so far as my fictitious government goes, quite official.
You see, I was captured some time ago, I and my co pilot. But I’d studied Isylgyn and knew the rudiments of their language. So I was able to get it across that I didn’t want to be killed as I was the human leader in exile trying to set up a truce. They went with that, seems they are as sick of war as we are. As a show of good faith I let them kill my co pilot.
I made it out in perfect health, back to Kepler in time to meet my infant daughter. I didn’t feel the urge to let my fellow humans know I’d had the positive communication. Didn’t think that was the sort of thing they needed to know.
But anyway, now you know who we are and what we’re doing, care to jump right on in? Only I’m rather busy at the moment, not that I don’t simply love your company.
“You’re three meters away from a set of doors. Take them to the lifts take the lifts up----”
“I’m not doing that,” I say, into my headset, ducking into a narrow hallway and sliding down to the ground, my laser gun is on a low charge, why wouldn’t it be I’m sixteen miles deep into an Isylgyn overrun asteroid fortress we are trying to reclaim with infinitesimal success. “If I take the lift up that puts me fifteen meters from the control rooms and two levels above the power breakers where I’m supposed to be if I can get the power breakers back on then you and the others can launch.”
“We’re not trying to get you to the power breakers anymore we’re trying to get you out of there, it’s 1800 the Isylgyn reinforcements are twenty minutes away, there are over a hundred of them on the third and fourth levels,” my ever competent and occasionally correct fellow pilot, Brenner, says, she’s in the control room where I left her when I and the others went in to try to reset the power banks so that we can at least launch and get the hell out of here.
“That gives me a 76 percent of running into an Isylygyn, I’m fine,” I say, sliding down the hall on my knees, the Isylgyns use the ducts to move around, at this level, I’m below the ducts and therefore out of their line of sight. “The mission was to get to the power breakers so we can launch, that’s what I’m doing.”
“That was when there were twenty of you, not one,” she hisses, she’s genuinely annoyed with me now.
“One is far greater than zero,” I inform her.
“Major Card, I have orders to tell you to return to your ship, and wait for reinforcements,” she
says.
“Then none of us live because then we don’t have any way of launching and the Isylgyn reinforcements will be here in a matter of minutes whereas our reinforcements will be two hours at best,” I say, dropping to my hands and knees and crawling as quickly as I dare. The Isylgyns can sense movement up to twenty five feet down here they’re less likely to notice me. it’s going to be a long way down.
“Major Card----”
“I’ll call you once the power banks are back on,” I say, cutting off the communication with her. she can continue to monitor for the others.
“Major Tom?” I ask, tapping another code into my earpiece.
“Major Card, good to hear your voice,” she says, her voice is strained and I hear gunshots. “Are you to the power breakers yet?”
“Almost,” I say, standing up to enter the stairwell, “How are things up there?”
“Not good, there are about two hundred of them,” she says, and I can hear gunfire in the background, “We’re holed up in our ships, those that remain, we won’t last ten more minutes.”
“Thanks, no pressure,” I say, descending the stairs two at a time. “How many still live?”
“All sixteen that made it out of the ships, Captain Leavitt is still alive, but he won’t last long---”
“I’M FINE TELL THAT ASSHOLE TO FOCUS HIS BIG BRAIN ON GETTING US OFF THIS GODFORSAKEN ROCK AND QUIT TALKING TO PEOPLE—” Leavitt isn’t happy. He was my copilot and gunner this mission. His legs got crushed in the crash landing we had to make. So tragic, they’ll never get them back on if I’m not very much mistaken. And I’m very rarely much mistaken.
“He’s not fine, but he’s the worst off, we have a few burns but no casualties since the initial crash, how are you fairing?” she asks.
“I’m fine,” I say, jumping over the railing to avoid a pool of acid, and falling heavily onto the next flight of stairs, “Just hurrying.”
“What about the others?” she asks, realizing that I just mentioned the most important person. Me.
“Oh, they’re dead,” I say, trying the door. It’s locked. I slam it with a shoulder. That hurts and it doesn’t work.
“What? -------How? Never mind, just get out of there, you’ll never be able to reset the power banks alone---” she says, urgently.
“On the contrary I have a fourteen percent chance of success which is awfully far from never,” I say, hanging up, and then I do get the door open and step into the generator room, which is lined with lead, cutting my signal. I sigh, and look around, it takes me a whole second to see the Isyglyn standing two meters in front of me, about to shoot acid at my face.
I shoot but not in time, burning acid seeps through my helmet and I instantly feel it on my skin, burning through to the bone. I scream and fall to the ground as the creature is upon me, burning acid through my legs and wrapping around me as I try to struggle away.
“It’s me, you fool,” I hiss, in Isylgyn, taking off my mask as the acid burns my face.
Instantly, the creature lets go, extravasating away from me, rightfully subdued. Well that worked, I wasn’t sure it would. I pull the packet of water from my waist, squirting my face to wash the acid from me before it eats further into my flesh. But I am too late to prevent permanent damage, my face burns so much my mind threatens to collapse into darkness.
“Sorry, great one,” it chirps, oozing away as I look at it wanting to shoot it really badly but it does recognize me now. So, convincing the entire Isylgyn race that I am the human’s god or leader (the words are similar, not sure which they thought I was saying but they treated me with reverence) who has been overthrown and is fighting to negotiate peace with them turned out to be a good idea. Honestly, I haven’t done that much with the situation since last year when I used it to escape captivity. but it seems they still remember.
“Didn’t I give orders that my rank and number be memorized?” I ask, pointing at my serial number on my armor. I am pretty sure I did in fact, tell them never to shoot acid at me, that sounds like the sort of thing I would do; I give them a lot of orders but I’m almost positive that that was one of them.
“Yes, master,” it says, there are about four more behind it, all groveling.
“Get out of my way,” I say, limping towards the power banks. I need to reset these and I need to get to the surface, now quicker than ever with my face like this. I can feel the cold air on my bones.
I flip the switches, typing onto a keyboard. This is a Russian station, but thankfully I saw fit to learn Russian as well as Isylgyn. Now if I could only convince the Russians and the humans I’m their God as well, then I’d really have things made. Oh well, one race out of three isn’t bad.
“What brings you here master?” one of them asks, squelching forward, probably trying to see how bad my face is. It’s bad.
“Shut up,” I say, shaking my head, “I need to focus now just shut up.”
“Everybody please rise for a moment of silence for our lost Spacemen. The Space Forces Command has declared the Alpha Centari Suicide Squadron lost after they crash landed on a Russian controlled asteroid belt earlier this morning. Space Forces states that no rescue attempts will be made, as they have received no viable communication, and any attempts to rescue the ships from Isylgyn control would result in more causalities. Please join me in a moment of silence honoring our lost Spacemen.” The mechanical voice says over the loudspeaker.
I put my tablet to sleep, standing up from my desk and adjust my white, Space Force Academy dress.
“Isn’t that the squadron your dad is on?” Aiden whispers, as we stand up.
“My dad doesn’t need a rescue mission,” I say resolutely.
“The Isylgyns have captured them, they’ll brainwash them, just like the last ones,” Alexandra, a girl on my left, predicts. She’s just jealous because my dad is the most famous, bravest, cleverest Spaceman in the universe and she doesn’t even know who her parents are.
“My dad got out before,” I say. he did, he escaped last time they took him captive.
“I hope he does,” Aiden says, kindly.
“Silence,” our instructor walks by, seeing us whispering.
I stand there quietly, as they flash the names and pictures on the screen of the lost Spacemen. My dad’s picture is among them. but somehow it doesn’t matter. I either don’t believe he won’t come back.
Or I don’t care.
I don’t know which and I don’t know why I don’t cry. I want to know, but the only person who could help me understand is on an asteroid, somewhere, dying, alone, surrounded by aliens. Nope. I still don’t feel bad.
“I am brilliant, worship me.”
“Card that had better mean you have the power breakers on,” they gave Leavitt the radio, apparently. Lovely. He doesn’t like me very much right now as he blames me for losing his legs, completely independent of the fact that I am in fact guilty. It isn’t easy, crash landing a ship such that your gunner’s legs are severed just below the knee.
“It means I have control back to the main panel which means, unless I’m very much mistaken and I don’t recall ever being so, I can use the Russian’s radar sensors to override the Isyglyns, so that they’ll get the intel that we have reinforcements surrounding them when we don’t, if my Isylgyn’s up to snuff which I don’t see why it wouldn’t be,” I say. I was just going to tell the Isylgyns to retreat but that would be hard to explain, granted them letting me walk away last time I got captured was hard to explain, but I’d done it. Still, this made more rational sense so since I had the alternative it was better to actually trick the Isylgyns not to attack rather than tell them not to attack.
“Lovely, that’s a really brilliant idea take your time writing an entire computer program to do that, Card, it isn’t inconvenient at all up here under fire---”
“Oh, do shut up, I’m doing both at once, and I have our coms up now, where’s Tom? I’d like to talk to her?” I ask, hopefully, taking a bite of a cookie.
“
Helping prevent us from getting shot since I can’t stand because my legs are still in our ship, I’m in charge of communicating with you to see if you’re still alive,” he says, darkly.
“It was only half your legs don’t be so melodramatic,” I say. I was going for the whole things, shame, it’s hard to crash land a ship that precisely. Live and learn.
“Oh only half my legs, thank you, Card I was forgetting, it was only half of two of my favorite limbs and I’m not losing blood at all from that-----are you EATING?”
“It’s been five hours, you should eat as well, and drink with the bloodloss,” I say, past a mouthful of biscuit.
“Do you have anything you need to say or shouldn’t you be focusing on trying to get us all killed in a more dramatic manner than we are now?” he asks, I can hear his teeth gritted. I don’t know if it’s annoyance at me or pain.
“I’d really like to talk to Major Tom if she’s available,” I say, in my pathetic voice. thing is, he knows if he humors me I’ll work faster and we might all live.
“I’ll ask her-------,” He mutes his mic for a moment. “Nope, she says ‘I’m shooting at aliens right now, do your brilliant YOU thing and be nice to Quentin because he’s probably going to die’----which isn’t true I can’t possibly die before I’ve smacked you upside the head one more time.”
“Leave it to you to complain when you could’ve died on impact,” I mutter. He knows me too well, that’s why I seriously considered letting him die on impact.
“I’m still smacking you upside the head if only because you’re probably eating cookies and drinking milk with your feet up programming a computer your sociopathic little brain perfectly happy while I’m lying here without feet,” he says.
“I am not—” that’s exactly what I’m doing “--and there was one thing I wanted to ask you, could you save an anti-acid kit for when I get back up?” I ask.
“Card, what in God’s name makes you think you’re ever getting back up here?” he asks, his voice heavy, “There are over two hundred Isylgyns in that compound with you and we’ve got no one to even cover you to get back out.”
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