Hope looked down at her plate for a moment before her eyes met Sarah Jane's across the table. "I'm sorry for being rude."
Sarah Jane wanted to kick her, but instead, she gave the reply she always knew she must. "I forgive you."
Micah shook his head. It was hard to believe all the personalities from the girls had come from the same upbringing. Where Sarah Jane was quiet and sweet, some of the others were downright rude. He didn't really know Hope at all, but she seemed very judgmental, a trait that he'd assigned to older women in the Christian congregation, not to young ladies of his acquaintance.
After supper, Sarah Jane walked Micah out to his buggy. "How did your talk with Cletus go?" she asked, almost embarrassed to do so. It was hard for her to know what was too forward and what wasn't.
He smiled at her. "He said we could court. I have to treat you right, though, because you're special to him."
"I'm sure he says that about all fifteen of us."
"I'm sure he does too, but today, you're the one he's worried about." He took a step closer to her. "You're the only one I'm worried about as well."
Sarah Jane looked up at him, surprised he was so close. She felt like she could melt into his brown gaze. "I like your eyes." As soon as the words were out, she wished she could get them back. Now he would definitely think her forward.
"I like yours too. They're a beautiful shade of green." He smiled at her. "May I kiss you?"
Sarah Jane felt her heart pounding in her chest as she shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea. The couple I lived with, the pastor and his wife, told me I should save lip kisses for after I'm married."
"They probably have the right of it." He sighed. "Doesn't stop a man from hoping, though."
She blushed. "I'm sorry to disappoint you."
"Truthfully, I'm a bit disappointed in one way, but in another, I'm pleased. If you feel that strongly, that means that you haven't kissed any other men either. I like that idea."
"You do?"
He nodded. "I do. I like everything about you, Sarah Jane. May I give you a ride home tomorrow?"
She frowned. "I'll see if one of the girls can chaperone us again."
He brushed her cheek with his fingertips in farewell, needing to touch her just for a moment. With her hard and fast rules about not kissing and never being alone, he wasn't certain if he'd be able to wait long before he asked for her hand in marriage. She was special. He was pretty sure he wasn't in love, but thought he could be soon. So far, it seemed to be just a strong attraction.
As he drove off, he couldn't help but think of her standing outside watching him. He didn't turn to be certain she was. He was afraid she'd already gone back inside and forgotten all about him.
Sarah Jane watched as he drove into the copse of trees just past their driveway. Once he was out of sight, she went back into the house. The dishes were being done, and there was much laughter accompanying them. Instead of going into the kitchen to join the others, she climbed the stairs to her bedroom. Thankful she no longer shared a room, she stretched out on her bed fully dressed, one arm over her eyes as she lay on her back atop the covers.
She'd never had strong feelings for a man before, but she couldn't get Micah Barton out of her head. Why, she was certain he was the man God had created just for her. How could he not be?
* * *
The following day, there was a new little girl at the orphanage. She'd been transferred from the orphanage in another Texas city, but there were no reasons given why she'd been transferred. She was six years old.
Really, she reminded Sarah Jane of how she'd looked when she was younger. Her hair was in blond ringlets, and her eyes were bright blue.
"What's your name?" Sarah Jane asked softly. She had the paperwork the woman who'd delivered her had brought, but she hadn't looked at it yet. She found it was easier if the child would talk about herself.
"Most people call me Chrissy."
"I like that name. I'm Sarah Jane."
"You have two names! I do too, but most people only use one."
"What are your two names?" Sarah Jane asked as she took the little girl's hand and led her into the room all the girls shared. She pointed to a bed that was vacant, and the little girl sat on it and bounced a couple of times.
"Christmas Carol."
"Oh, that's pretty!"
"My birthday is Christmas."
"Then the name suits you beautifully. Do you want to be called Chrissy?"
The girl nodded. "It's easier than Christmas Carol. Do you have any little girls, Sarah Jane?"
Sarah Jane shook her head. "Not yet, but I hope I will someday. I want one just like you."
Chrissy giggled. "I think you should have a lot of little girls just like me."
"Well, let me tell you about the Christmas party we're having here at the orphanage on Saturday." Sarah Jane talked to the little girl while she fed her and did an inventory of her clothing. Chrissy had less than most of the orphans did, and there was no present arranged for her. She'd have to ask Edna Petunia to make her a pretty dress.
"What do you want for Christmas? I need to make a list."
"A home."
Sarah Jane frowned. "You'll have a home here. Are there any toys you want?"
Chrissy shrugged. "Mostly I just want a mother and father who will love me, but I'll take a baby doll if that's too much to ask."
Sarah Jane wanted to keep her forever. Never had she felt so strongly that she wanted to keep an orphan child. She had no idea why this one was different, but she was. She wanted to cry for the little girl. She remembered being her age and wanting nothing more than parents who would love her as their own. All she could think about was how she could make enough money to adopt the little girl in front of her. Of course, for now, she'd just have to go to the store and get her a baby doll.
When it was time for Micah to pick her up, she put her coat on, promising Chrissy she'd be back the next day. She wanted little Christmas Carol to be hers, and she had to find a way to do it.
* * *
As they drove to the school to pick up one of the other girls, Micah frowned at Sarah Jane. "You seem sad today."
She shook her head. "I'm not sad. I'm just thinking. There's a new orphan today, and I want to keep her forever."
"Would the Sanders let you bring her home?"
"Oh, I'm sure they would, but I don't want them to adopt her. I want to adopt her, and I'm in no position to do it. I don't know why, but that little girl has grabbed onto my heart and just won't let go."
"So what will you do?"
She shrugged. "I have no idea. I'm racking my brain for ways I could support both of us. I'm a good cook, and I could do meal delivery for bachelors in town because we have more than our share. But I don't know how safe that would be."
He frowned. "I don't like the idea of you delivering meals to strangers. I think you need to let the idea go for now. She's going to be well cared for at the orphanage."
"I know she will. It's not that. I feel like she was sent here to be mine. I know that sounds stupid, but it's true."
"It doesn't sound stupid." Micah wasn't certain what to say to her, but the idea of her adopting a child when she was eighteen and hadn't married—well, it just didn't make sense to him.
When he dropped her and Dorothy off at the house, he asked, "Will you promise me not to do anything in a hurry? Talk to me about it first?"
Sarah Jane nodded slowly. They were courting, and she owed it to him to at least let him know of any major plans before she went through with them. "I promise." Dorothy had disappeared into the house as soon as they'd arrived. "Will you stay for supper?"
He shook his head. "Not tonight, but thank you. I've been invited to eat with the Harveys."
"Andy or Francis?" she asked.
"Francis."
"Oh, tell Dr. Iris hello from me. She and Edna Petunia moved here together."
"I will." He cupped the side of her face in his hand again, just as he'd don
e every time they'd said goodbye. "I'll drive you home again tomorrow."
Sarah Jane nodded. "I'd like that." Her mind was still far away, though. She wanted to adopt that little girl more than she'd ever wanted anything.
She hurried into the house and went to the kitchen, donning her apron.
"How was your day?" Edna Petunia asked.
Sarah Jane surprised the old woman by pouring her heart out over the little girl who'd arrived at the orphanage. "I just feel like I'm meant to adopt her. Almost like God's calling me to do it. I don't know if I should agree, but it feels like I should. You know?"
"You don't even have work! We can have her come here and live with us, though, if you feel that strongly about it."
Sarah Jane shook her head. "I knew you'd say that, but it's not what I want at all. I want to be her mother. I want to see to her every need. I don't want her to be just another one of the orphan girls who lives here."
Edna Petunia nodded. "I can understand that. If you change your mind, let me know." She hugged Sarah Jane tightly, something the younger girl didn't usually like, but this time, she clung.
"Was it hard for you to decide to take in all of us? Did it make Cletus mad?"
"Not hard at all. I knew the minute I found out there were fifteen bastard girls at the church that I wanted to keep each and every one of you." Edna Petunia shrugged. "I think Cletus would have preferred I chose one or two of you, but that's not my way, and he realized that quickly."
Sarah Jane nodded. "I wish I could feel the right thing to do. I thought maybe I could do a food delivery business to support us. There are a lot of bachelors in Nowhere, and I could take them meals for a fee."
Edna Petunia frowned. "That doesn't sound safe. I don't like that idea at all."
"That's what Micah said." Sarah Jane returned to her work, wishing there was some magical answer.
Throughout the evening, all Sarah Jane could think about was little Chrissy, and how she wanted to make her life special. She thought of several ways she could support the girl, but every one of them was either dangerous, or wouldn't make enough money to support her and a child. There had to be something, though.
She'd keep trying and praying about it, and God would surely give her an answer. If she and Micah had been courting longer, they could marry and adopt her, but they just didn't know one another well enough. He was a pastor, after all, and he needed to marry someone of the highest moral standards. She knew that described her well, but he needed to know her better to realize that
she would be a good wife for him.
Chapter Four
By the time Saturday rolled around, Sarah Jane was ready to give up her spot in the Sanders' home for Chrissy, but that wouldn't get the girl any closer to having her for a mother.
The first part of the party was a huge success. True to her name, little Chrissy could sing any carol they mentioned. She had the voice of an angel, and Sarah Jane wondered if she could get her singing lessons with Katie, the youngest of the orphans.
Chrissy spent the evening clinging to Sarah Jane's hand and was introduced to everyone in town. When it came time for Santa to pass out gifts, they went from the youngest to the oldest, which put Chrissy's turn at third. The younger two were excited, completely absorbed with the toys they were given.
Micah made a wonderful Santa Claus and Sarah Jane wished she had a photographer there so she could always remember this night and how he looked in the Santa suit, his brown eyes full of laughter above his white beard.
Seeing him play Santa Claus made Sarah Jane's heart fall that last little bit over the edge of the cliff. She loved him. There was no denying it any longer. If only he could love little Chrissy the way she did, she knew they'd make a perfect family.
When it was Chrissy's turn for Santa, Sarah Jane led her over by the hand and helped her to climb onto his lap. She stayed beside them, wanting to hear everything the little girl had to say.
Micah's voice had taken on a much deeper tone than usual as part of his role as Santa. "Hello, little girl. What do you want for Christmas?"
Instead of asking for the doll Sarah Jane had wrapped and put under the tree, Chrissy told Santa her whole story. She told of her mother not knowing who her daddy was and how she'd finally left her at the orphanage. She told him all she really wanted was a family who would love her as their own. Sarah Jane felt tears pop into her eyes as she listened to the little girl, and Micah looked up at her, his eyes obviously anguished at the girl's story.
Finally, he took the brightly wrapped package that Sarah Jane ready and gave it to Chrissy. She walked away, looking at the present as if afraid it would bite her. She'd obviously seen Santa as her chance to get what she really wanted for Christmas.
Micah's eyes met Sarah Jane's. "We need to talk after the party," he whispered.
She nodded as she guided the next little boy to see Santa.
* * *
After his time as Santa, Micah went to talk to Mr. Sanders, still in his suit. "I need to speak with to Sarah Jane tonight. Is it all right if I take her home, along with whatever other girl you want to send with me, but we have a private discussion in your parlor? I don't want to break any of your rules, but this is important."
Cletus nodded slowly. "Just don't try any canoodling or anything. I've got a shotgun, and I know how to use it."
"I will be on my best behavior." Micah decided he wouldn't sit close enough to her even to hold her hand. He didn't want to betray the older man's trust.
He was quiet on the ride home, not certain how to bring up what he was planning to do. It was late, much later than he'd ever been at her house, and they all needed to be up early for church, so he knew he needed to talk fast.
When they arrived, Katie jumped down and ran into the house, and he walked around to help Sarah Jane down. "Mr. Sanders told me we could talk in the formal parlor, and he'd make sure we had no interruptions."
Sarah Jane studied him in the dark, wondering what he wanted to say that was so important. "All right." She followed him into the house and to the back parlor, where Cletus and Edna Petunia were talking.
As soon as he saw them, Cletus got to his feet. "Come on, Edna Petunia. These young 'uns need to talk without us here." Edna Petunia looked from Sarah Jane to her husband. "I told the pastor they could make use of the room to talk, but not to canoodle."
Edna Petunia smiled. "You know, Cletus, sometimes I think my outspoken ways are rubbing off on you. I like it."
Sarah Jane watched them go with a half-smile on her face. "Those two are something else. I learn more about them every day."
Micah sat down on the couch, indicating the chair for her. "I don't want anyone to say we did anything improper. I promised Mr. Sanders."
Sarah Jane nodded. "You're starting to frighten me a bit. What is so important that we talk about it tonight?"
"Is Christmas Carol the new girl at the orphanage? The one you feel compelled to adopt?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yes. She goes by Chrissy. From the moment I met her, I just knew she was supposed to be mine."
Micah ran his fingers through his hair. "I was afraid you were going to say that."
"Why?" What was going on in his head?
"I feel the same way. I feel like she's supposed to be mine. That it's my job to go to town and adopt her right this second."
Sarah Jane bit her lip. She hated the idea of him taking Chrissy from her. I saw her first! "I don't know if there's a law against it, but I certainly don't think it would be proper for a bachelor to adopt a young girl."
"I agree. And that's why I need you to marry me. We could take the buggy into Austin on Monday. I have a friend from seminary there who would marry us."
"But, we can't just leave together with no chaperone."
"Could you talk to the orphanage and get permission to take Chrissy?" he asked, forcing himself to call her by her nickname. He wanted to call her Christmas Carol and nothing else.
"I could. When would we go?" Sh
e knew he was only asking her so they could adopt the little girl, but it didn't seem to matter. She wanted to be his wife.
"Monday. I have to give my sermon in the morning, and we'll need to make arrangements." He looked at her, studying her face. "You're all right with marrying quickly? Without having a huge wedding?"
She nodded. "I can wear Mrs. Hayes's wedding dress. She won't mind at all. Ruby wore it as well. Edna Petunia will complain, of course, because that's what she does."
"Why will she complain? She doesn't like me?"
Sarah Jane shook her head. "That doesn't seem to be it at all. She complains about us not giving her time to plan a proper wedding, and then she always says something about 'poor Mary Sullivan.' We all just nod like we know what she's talking about."
"I guess Ruby and Opal didn't give her what she would consider proper notice?"
"They didn't, and while she didn't get angry, she mumbled a lot. She made Katie promise there would be a reception even if there was a fast marriage. I have no idea why Katie, or why she made her promise, but Katie told her she'd do it. It was very strange."
"She seems like a special woman to me."
"She is." Sarah Jane felt odd sitting alone with him and knowing they'd be married in just a couple of days. "Have you asked Cletus for my hand yet?"
He shook his head. "I'll come over after church tomorrow and ask him. I'm sure he'll say yes."
"I'm sure of it too. I—I hope you don't want to marry me just for Chrissy."
He sighed. "You know, if not for Chrissy, I'd take my time about things, but I believe I'd be asking you to marry me anyway. I'm just accelerating things this way."
Sarah Jane bit her lip. "All right. I just don't want you to regret it after we're married."
"How could I regret marrying you?" He sat forward with his forearms on his knees. "I truly care for you, Sarah Jane. I wouldn't ask otherwise."
She wanted to get up and dance at his words. "I think Chrissy is going to be very excited. Can we drive to the orphanage tomorrow to talk to her? After you've spoken with Cletus, of course."
Sarah Jane (Countdown to Christmas Book 1) Page 4
