With a laugh, Parker sat on the bench lining the side of the boat and tugged Sierra’s hand to get her to join him. “While we wait, why don’t we see what Shane prepared for our feast, shall we?”
“Shall we?” Sierra giggled again and leaned into him, brushing her lips across his cheek. “Why yes, sir, I think we shall.”
At least she felt like teasing him and giving him a brief kiss, even if it wasn’t enough to satisfy Parker’s need for her. After more than a week apart, he had worried she’d decided to be done with him.
Delving into the insulated bag of goodies Shane packed for dinner, Parker extracted three separate plastic containers of food.
“And what, may I ask, dear sir, did our chef prepare for our feast?” Sierra’s eyes twinkled with mischief and her voice had an odd quality, as though she were trying hard not to laugh.
Dropping the food back into the container, Parker caught Sierra’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I never knew shall was an odd word. Are you going to tease me about it all night?”
She licked her lips, moistening them as though preparing for his kisses, and shrugged. “Probably. Unless you do something to shut me up.”
If that wasn’t an invitation, Parker didn’t know what one looked like.
He leaned in slowly, staring at her sparkling eyes.
She licked her lips again and a soft gasp came from her as Parker let his hand slip from her chin to her neck.
He stopped, mere millimeters from the lips he wanted to taste so badly. “I’m sure we can come up with something distracting, Red.”
“Mmmm hmmm...” Her mouth crashed into his, and her arms wrapped around his neck as her lips parted.
A thousand volts of electricity flooding through Parker couldn’t be more stimulating. He twined his fingers in her hair, drawing her in even closer as he gently nibbled at her mouth, struggling to hold himself back. What he wanted to do was bend her over the side of the bench and grope her firm body, feel her perfect breasts beneath his fingers, and then plunge inside her. Just the thought of it made his dick throb.
Just when he feared he couldn’t hold back any longer, Sierra released his neck and broke off the kiss.
“Oh, Parker,” she whispered, breathless sounding. “I’ve missed you so much this week.”
Shifting to hold both her hands, Parker stroked the backs of them with his thumbs. He kissed her softly, not letting it go beyond a mere peck because that was the only way he could control himself. “I missed you too. You don’t know how much. When you didn’t want to see me, I thought maybe...” He stopped and shrugged. No reason to sound desperate, but he had been lonely without her.
“That’s not it at all.” She leaned forward and pressed her cheek against his. “I’ve been exhausted. Mucking out horse stalls and doing back-breaking labor for eight hours is not something I’m used to.”
Parker kissed her ear, enjoying the shudder that coursed through her body when she snuggled even closer. “I can’t believe my dad is actually making you clean the stalls. That’s ridiculous. I’ll talk to him.”
Drawing back, Sierra shook her head. “Please don’t. I’m happy to do it. I feel like I’m worthwhile, for the first time ever.”
His heart broke to hear her say that. How could her parents have lived with themselves, making her feel worthless the way they did? “You’ve always been worthwhile, and don’t you ever forget that.”
A large splash sounded outside the boat and Sierra jumped, her eyes growing wide. “Parker? What’s that?”
Turning to follow the path of her eyes, Parker smiled when a beautiful bottle-nosed dolphin jumped out of the water less than five feet from where they sat. As he slipped back into the ocean, droplets of water sprayed Sierra and Parker.
“They’re here,” Parker said, happy the dolphins cooperated with his plan for romance. It was such a rush, seeing them in the wild. Parker couldn’t imagine a more perfect date. “Have you ever seen a dolphin up close before?”
Unfortunately, Sierra didn’t appear to share his joy. Her breathing was shallow and quick, her eyes still wide and looking frightened. When her hand slipped into his and squeezed it tightly, Parker realized he’d made a mistake.
“You aren’t afraid, are you? There’s nothing to worry about.”
She gulped loudly. “But what if they attack us?”
A surprised laugh slipped from his throat. “Red, they aren’t sharks. They’re dolphins.”
“I’m not sure...” Sierra had gone from frightened to trembling. “I heard some people died who work at Sea World, and those ones are supposed to be tame.”
With a sigh, Parker knew he had to try and make her see reason. Her fear was irrational, but hopefully he could help her understand. “Just because they’re trapped and forced to perform, doesn’t make them tame. Besides, it was killer whales who killed their trainers, not dolphins.” Technically, they were both a type of dolphin, but pointing that out to Sierra would only increase her fear. “And even those were freak accidents that can happen when you trap a wild animal. These dolphins aren’t mean, only curious. I’ve been in the water with them several times, and I’m fine.”
“You swam with them?” Her head shook side-to-side, frantic in its movement. “I hope you don’t think I’m getting in there. They might eat me.”
As though to argue with her, the dolphin checking them out popped up near the boat, making a chattering noise their direction.
While Parker thought it was awesome that the animal spent so much time with them, Sierra’s fear only grew.
“Can we go back to shore?” she pleaded.
“Sierra, I don’t want you upset, but can you try to enjoy this? Calm down and really look at him. He’s harmless.” Putting a hand on her knee, Parker squeezed it reassuringly. “I want to share my life with you and show you who I am. This is the sort of thing I love. The ocean is where I feel most real, most relaxed. I thought you’d like to see the dolphins. He won’t stay long, just until we bore him, but I think he’s awe inspiring. They’re just as smart as we are and I think—”
Sierra held her hand up, stopping Parker before he launched further in his lecture. “I’m being a pain in the ass, aren’t I? Just like being afraid of hiking because their might be wild animals like the last guy I dated. Definitely turning into a bore.”
Parker leaned forward to give her another soft kiss. “It’s okay to be afraid, but you have to face those fears to see they aren’t really worth worrying about.” He paused and kissed her again. “And I didn’t mean to launch into a lecture, but ocean life is important to me.”
She stayed silent for a few moments, though she did peek over the edge of the boat.
As though understanding he had to convince her he was harmless, the dolphin chattered again and then swam further from the boat, only to pop up again and speak to her.
“It is kind of cute,” she admitted.
“He,” Parker corrected gently. “This is a pod of males. They stay here quite a bit. I’m not sure where the females and babies call home. I’ve never seen them, but I wouldn’t want to disturb them anyway.”
Her lower lip jutted out. “The guys don’t help take care of the kids? Typical.”
With a laugh, Parker turned his attention back to the food dishes. “Is it okay if we eat now? Can we stay on the boat?”
Sierra nodded. “Yeah. I shouldn’t have been such a chicken. He’s leaving anyway.”
Parker glanced back to see the dolphin cutting through the water as he high-tailed it toward the main pod. “They never stick around long, and I don’t chase them. It has to be their decision when we interact. That’s the best way to respect nature.”
She snorted. “Respect or not, I still think he should man up and help raise the kids. I thought you said they were smart animals.”
Sierra might be fixated on that issue, but Parker had to admit this little exchange made him like her even more. She was terrified of the dolphin, but for his sake, she was wi
lling to face that fear and stay out on the ocean with him.
“I’m glad you didn’t make me take us back to shore.” He popped the top on the first food container, revealing grilled tuna inside. “I really wanted to share this experience with you.”
“I’m glad you wanted me with you.” She grabbed the next food dish and opened it. “Salad Niçoise? That’s actually one of my favorites.”
“Good to know, but you haven’t lived until you’ve tried the dessert Shane packed. It’s a chocolate soufflé that I’ve heard referred to as better than sex.”
The edges of Sierra’s mouth hitched upward as she once again seemed completely at ease. “Chocolate is only better than sex if you do it wrong.”
* * *
Sierra sipped white wine once she finished eating, watching Parker closely. She couldn’t help but worry he would stay upset with her for not wanting to be around the dolphins, even though he acted okay. After all, Cece and Roger never worried whether she didn’t want to do something and she went along with it or risked their displeasure. She could hardly believe she’d dared to say anything about the dolphins. The old her would have pretended everything was fine, but she was starting to change.
“Parker, can I ask you a serious question?”
His hand brushed against her bare shoulder with a soft touch, making her crave more. “Anything at all, Red.”
“Do you think I’ll ever be normal?”
Parker tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing together. “What do you mean?”
She sighed, uncertain how to express her fears. “The whole thing with the dolphins. I’m sitting here worried that you might decide to hate me because I let you know how I really felt about them instead of just going along with it.”
Parker’s blue eyes were troubled, but he shook his head. “That would never happen. I want to know everything about you, even when you’re afraid.”
She sighed, wondering if she could trust that. “If my parents had wanted me in the water with those dolphins, no matter how much it scared me, I would have dived in with a smile on my face.”
“Shit, Sierra. I’m such an idiot. What was I thinking forcing you to stay out here? I’m as bad as your parents right now.” He stroked his hand over her head in such a loving manner that Sierra felt herself relaxing even more. “I only wanted to share this with you, but you’re always allowed to tell me no. I’ll try to do a better job of listening, I promise. Can you forgive me?”
She closed her eyes and rested her head against Parker’s shoulder. “I’m not mad. I need to face some of my fears, and the dolphins haven’t done anything wrong.” She took in a deep breath, but forced herself to go on. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be normal enough to tell you no and be firm about it though. I don’t think I can say no to anyone, but especially not someone I care about.”
“Sierra… I would never do what your parents did. You can talk to me about anything.”
“Of course you wouldn’t. I know you’re nothing like them. It isn’t you, it’s me. I don’t know if I can be normal.”
“Who cares about that?” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her as though he’d never let go. “Normal is boring.”
Suddenly his mouth closed over hers with such fierceness and passion, Sierra didn’t even consider pulling away.
He hugged her tightly, while his tongue plowed into her mouth without waiting for her to invite him inside. It was demanding, needy. No more with the polite, barely kisses that made her think he didn’t care. Parker was an animal in her arms, one she wasn’t afraid of.
He murmured apologies about making her stay with the dolphins into her mouth while his hands roamed her back, rubbing across the top of her ass and making Sierra’s breath come in short gasps. He was so hot, and she wanted him. She’d never felt like this before. None of the stuffy suits her father insisted she date had ever made her pulse race the way Parker did.
Pulling her legs onto the bench without losing contact with his insistent mouth, Sierra crawled onto Parker’s lap and wrapped her legs around his waist, not caring one bit she wore a dress or her actions were less than ladylike. She stroked the muscles of his firm chest beneath his dress shirt, loving how powerful he seemed in this wild mode. At the same time, it was a power he’d never use against her. She loved knowing that—loved feeling safe for the first time in her life.
Parker grabbed her ass in both hands, squeezing and then caressing. “God, Red, I love your ass. It’s so damn perfect, just like the rest of you.”
A feeling of fire raced through her nerve endings when Parker’s fingers traced over her dress and panties. Sierra moaned into his mouth, already becoming damp down below. “How long were we going to wait?” she asked, hoping Parker would agree that a little over a week was more than long enough.
His hardened cock pressed into her thigh. All Sierra had to do was loosen the zipper on his pants and push her panties to the side. The waiting could be over, and they could ride this rush of excitement all the way to bliss.
She raked her nails down his chest and tugged at the button on his pants. “I think it’s been long enough.”
“Damn.” Parker let out a soft growl and shook his head. “We can’t, not yet. We’re supposed to talk and get to know each other better.”
“Talk? Is that honestly what you want right now?” She moved her hand down, grabbing his package and squeezing lightly. Talking was the last thing on her mind. “We can talk later.”
“Sierra...” Her name was more of a moan than a word, and his body shuddered against hers when she stroked him through his pants. “You don’t know how hard it is to say we should stop this, but I can’t do it like this. I know if you were thinking clearly, that’s what you’d want. To wait, like you said before.”
Sierra sucked in a deep breath to try to slow its erratic pace.
“You have to get off my lap.” Parker groaned again. “Those perfect tits rub against me when you breathe, and I just want to attack.”
“Then do it,” she urged.
Again, he shook his head. “I want our first time to be special. I want you to know without any doubts how you feel about me. And I want you to trust that you aren’t a rebound girl, but the one I want to be with. I want this to be real when it happens. I want love.”
Chapter 14
Parker breathed a sigh of relief when Sierra stood, shook her dress into place, and sat beside him.
“What should we do then?” she asked.
As hard as it was on him, Parker knew he’d made the right decision in stopping things. His heart ached with sorrow, knowing he’d caused her to question herself or if she was normal. Hurting her was never his intention. He had to make sure she knew how much she mattered—before they had sex.
He didn’t know why, but that seemed important. Like making love before she understood how he felt about her would cheapen it somehow. Make it meaningless, just like all the other times he’d done it.
Clearing his throat, he took her hand and stared out at the encroaching darkness. “I’d planned to watch the sunset holding you in my arms tonight, but it looks like we missed it.”
She squeezed his fingers. “I thought what we did was better. I’m never against a make-out session with you.”
“But I wanted this to be a perfect date. When you asked earlier if I was trying to woo you... that’s exactly what I wanted.” He ached to reach out and touch her face, but if they started kissing again, Parker wouldn’t have the willpower to stop things a second time. They had to talk first. “I feel awful that I did something close to what your parents would do by forcing you to stay out here. I would never, ever in a million years hurt you on purpose.”
Sierra shrugged. “Don’t worry. I know you didn’t mean to. It’s fine.”
“Don’t do that,” Parker said. “Don’t brush things off and say it’s fine. Your feelings matter to me. A lot. I know you aren’t used to that yet, but if we’re going to keep seeing each other, you’re no l
onger allowed to make yourself less important by downplaying how you truly feel.”
Biting her lip, she stared at him intently. “Do you think it’s my fault for the way my parents treated me because I didn’t stand up to them?”
Her question didn’t sound angry or like she accused him of anything, merely curious.
“Of course not.” Losing the battle with his struggle against touching her, he raised his free hand to her face and tenderly stroked her cheek. “How could you stand up to your parents? They blackmailed you with your trust fund, and then hit you whenever you did try to stop them. None of that is your fault.”
“But you want me to stand up to you?”
Parker leaned in, pressing his forehead against hers while maintaining eye contact. “You forced me to long for real love after feeling dead inside for a long time. For that true love to happen, I need a partner. That means, no matter if you’re afraid I’ll be upset, you have to tell me when I do something wrong. We have to talk to each other, always.”
Moisture welled in her eyes, the moon making it shimmer, but no tears fell. “You want to be equals?”
The realization dawned on him that Sierra had never felt equal to anyone in her entire life. Even if she had pretended on the beach that first day they met that she was an important client who could do what she wanted, it had been an act. Sierra didn’t feel entitled to anything. Especially not to being treated with respect and love. Her parents did that to her. Anger roiled in Parker’s gut and he clenched his teeth tight.
Sierra noticed the change and backed away from him. “Is that wrong? We aren’t equals? You’re giving mixed signals, Parker.”
“We are most certainly equals,” Parker said. “I was actually thinking about your parents.”
“Oh.” She nodded. “That’s enough to ruin anyone’s mood.”
“Did my father tell you he sent them to Maui? Booked them a resort there and refunded their money. He told them they weren’t welcome on the island anymore.”
“I’ve been afraid to ask where they were,” she admitted. “I hide in the stables whenever a new party of guests comes in to get horses, worried they’d come for a ride and find me there.”
Diving Into Love (McCallister's Paradise Book 2) Page 11
